


War Paint

by NukeRose



Series: War Paint [1]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:17:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 50
Words: 126,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4707329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NukeRose/pseuds/NukeRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Previously Posted to Fanfiction.net)</p><p>Follows Jude and Connor from the beginning of their relationship, and the things they face as it develops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rebellion

Jude's POV:

I woke up with a jolt, the memories of the last few days returning to torture me now that sleep wasn't there to keep them at bay. My mind immediately leapt to Connor.

He had told his dad. Connor had actually told his father that he was gay. And Adam Stevens was trying to stop me from seeing him.

I massaged my temples, desperately attempting to fend off the monstrosity of a migraine that was building.

I walked into the bathroom, the myriad of thoughts swirling around in my head. I grabbed my toothbrush, and reached to pick up the toothpaste, but my fingers brush against smooth glass. My fingers gently pick up the small bottle of blue nail polish. I stare at it for a moment before looking at myself in the mirror. My mind immediately wandered back to when Connor had painted his nails to defend me at the beginning of our friendship. I remembered the conversation we had after we left the cafeteria that day.

_"Why did you do it Connor? People might do to you what they do to me."_

_"They won't. They won't touch you again, because you're my friend now, Jude. Besides, I like to think of it as something more than nail polish. It's not just nail polish, it's... war paint."_

I held my gaze in the mirror for a second before looking back at the nail polish.

"War paint." I whispered to myself.

I thought of everything that Connor and I had been through together. All the things he has done for me.

He befriended me when nobody else would. Offering a hand of kindness and compassion to a misfit foster kid who he had never seen before in his life. Painting his nails in my defense. Giving me his $200 PSP because he saw that I didn't have many belongings. Trying as best he could to make me feel accepted and welcomed and included. Disobeying his father and continuing his friendship with me in spite of him. Kissing me in the tent. Kissing me in my room. Sneaking out with the express purpose of getting alone time with me afterwards. Pushing me out of the way when the gun went off. Coming out to his dad because he liked me.

And now, Adam Stevens was grinding all that to a halt?

"You know what?" I say to myself, "I've had enough."

I grab the nail polish and bolt back to my room to get dressed. I dig through my closet, and decide on a blue pull over and jeans. I sit down on the floor and quickly paint my nails.

Connor and I were more than friends now. I wasn't going to allow his bigoted ass of a father to ruin that when it's only just begun.

I had conformed to what everybody told me to do for my entire life.

Maybe it's time for a bit of rebellion.

I marched down the stairs. Stef and Lena are both at work, and all the siblings are out of the house doing their normal routines. I marched to the garage and got my bike and headed towards the hospital.

When I got there, I parked my bike and chained it to the bike rack. I stalked into the lobby and to the elevator, taking it up to the floor where I knew Connor was. When the elevator opened, I walked out and took a right, heading down to the nurses' station.

"Excuse me?" I said to the nurse, "I'm looking for Connor Stevens' room."

"And you are?" She asked.

"His cousin." I lied through my teeth.

"Room 325 down the hall." She said and pointed me down the hallway.

I nodded my thanks and headed down the hallway and I caught sight of the room at the end of the corridor. As I got closer the door opened, and Adam walked out, closing the door behind him. He caught sight of me and frowned. I only hesitated for a second before approaching him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked coldly, "I told your moms I didn't want you hanging around Connor."

"I know." I said.

I took a deep breath.

"I want to see him." I continued, "I want to see my friend, and I'm not leaving until I do?"

He looked me up and down, before shaking his head.

"It's not gonna happen."

I ducked around him and marched towards the door and plopped down right next to it.

"What the hell are you doing now?" Adam asked, a slight tint of anger in his voice.

"Did you think I was joking, Mr. Stevens?" I ask him, "You are going to let me into that room to see Connor, or I'm not leaving this spot."

"You're not welcome here." He growled, trying to look intimidating.

I scoffed at him.

"Scaring me off isn't going to work. You don't hold a candle to some of the foster parents I have had in the past."

He withdrew his phone, and angrily punched in a number.

"Lena, it's Adam. Connor's father... yeah, Jude just showed up at the hospital. He's refusing to leave. Get up here and get him."

He hung up the phone , and I continued to glare at him.

It only took Lena twenty minutes to get there, during which time I had surrendered my new sport of glaring at Mr. Stevens in favor of staring straight ahead with a stubborn expression on my face. I heard her approach Adam.

"I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee." He said, "When I get back, he needs to be gone. Otherwise I'm gonna call security."

He stomped off, and I let out a soft growl of irritation that was too soft for Lena to hear. She sat down next to me.

She sighed and placed a comforting hand on my knee. I could feel my resolve start to break.

"I know how hard this must be for you honey, I really do." She says in a soothing voice, "Losing a friend is one of the most painful things to go through."

But she didn't know, did she? She had no idea what this was like.

"Mr. Stevens made it very clear that..."

Something in me snapped.

"He's not my friend." I say bluntly, desperately trying to hold off the tears that I can feel coming.

I could feel her staring at me.

"Connor's not your friend?" She asks me, slightly confused.

I shake my head. I knew there was no other way. I had to tell her the truth.

"There were no girls. In the tent. On the camping trip." I confess, my voice thicker than usual from the effort to halt the oncoming sobs, "It was just us. We kissed, and now we're like..."

"More than friends." She finished for me.

My resolve crumbled, and the first tear rolled down my cheeks.

"Connor." I choked, "He told his dad."

I finally let go and cried. Lena drew me into her arms and tried her best to comfort me.

After a few seconds the tears subsided, and she looked down the hall. I followed her gaze.

Anger quickly replaced sadness at the sight of Mr. Stevens standing their watching.

"Let me handle this." Lena said and got up, stalking towards him.

I stared straight ahead, straining my ears to pick up what was being said. I took a split second to thank god for my above average hearing.

"You can't keep them apart forever Adam." Lena said bluntly, "What about school?"

"I'm pulling him from Anchor Beach." Adam responded, equally blunt.

"With just a few weeks left in the school year?" Lena questioned incredulously, "He'll have to repeat the grade."

Mr. Stevens shrugged, and I had a really strong urge to roll my eyes, which I resisted with great difficulty.

"And then what? You gonna lock him up until he's eighteen?" Lena soldiered on, "Look. You can keep Jude outside the door as long as you want. As long as you're willing to... stand watch, but what then? You gonna keep all the boys outside the door?"

His head shot up to meet her gaze, a look of pained realization on his face. I couldn't help feel a little satisfied.

"You can try, but trust me if you do, you'll be the one who ends up getting shut out." She finished.

Mr. Stevens looked down, fiddling with the rim of his coffee cup for a second before looking back up at Lena.

"I don't care if your son is gay." He said.

I bristled as he called me gay, and bristled more when I saw that he looked like he was about to cry.

"I just don't want mine to be." Adam said.

I snorted. Both Adam and Lena looked down at me.

I stood and marched towards them, a glare on my face.

"First of all, don't call me that." I say in a voice cold enough to freeze blood, "I hate labels, and I refuse to use them or allow them to be applied to me. And secondly, banning him from seeing me isn't going to stop Connor from being gay. It isn't my fault he's like this."

Lena is staring at me.

"Jude, honey..." She says, trying to intervene.

"No. It's my turn to talk." I interrupt, "You think that I turned your son gay? Is that it?"

Mr. Stevens nodded uncomfortably.

"You want in on a little secret, Mr. Stevens?" I asked him, he nodded," Connor and I have kissed. Twice. And both times, he was the one who leaned in first. NOT ME. So your argument makes no sense!"

"When?" He asked.

"The first time was in the tent on the camping trip," I said bluntly, "We were talking about stuff, somehow we ended up sitting next to each other in my sleeping bag. He's talking to me about how he wishes we could still hang out more and spend the night at each other's houses like we used to, and how he wished his dad wasn't so much of a, and I quote; a homophobic jerk."

He flinched.

"He started crying, and I hugged him and comforted him. We looked each other in the eyes, and he leaned in and kissed me." I continued waspishly, "The second time was in my room, after I snapped at him about his mixed signals. Again, he lent in first."

"Also, the whole break in and drink thing? Taylor's idea." I continued after pausing to draw a breath, "She caught onto the fact that I had feelings for Connor, and suggested it. She nudged me a nodded her head to Connor, who was staring at me with a dopy close mouthed grin on his face. The only reason he agreed, was because it would give him an excuse to kiss me again. I spent the whole bike ride to Taylor's place trying to talk him out of it."

He stared at me, surprised at the final piece of info.

"Why do you look so surprised?" I ask him, "Is it the fact that Taylor tried to set us up? Surprised that she doesn't hate us for being gay like you do?"

"Hey, now. I don't hate you! And I certainly don't hate my son!"

"Could've fooled me!" I hissed back, "You say you love your son? Act like it."

"Why are you fighting so hard?" He asks.

"Because it's Connor that I'm fighting for." I shoot back as if it's obvious, "Connor is worth fighting for."

Adam let out a deep breath. He stared at the floor for a moment, before looking up to meet my gaze.

"I don't want my son getting hurt." Adam said sadly, "If he's gay, his life is gonna be so much harder. You two would be looked at differently everywhere you go. People could hurt you. People could hurt him. I don't want that to happen."

My glare softens, as I'm reminded that underneath the macho homophobic exterior was a father who would never want his son to get hurt.

"Then help me protect him." I said, "We both have one thing in common. We both love Connor, and neither of us wants to see him hurt. When he hit the ground after getting shot, I ripped the table cloth and tried to wrap it to stop the bleeding. It didn't work, but I still tried. If anybody says anything to us, we'll say something back. If we have to fight, we will. If I have to fight off his baseball team when they find out about us, I will. If I have to protect him from you, then I will. I will never let anybody hurt him. I will help keep him safe, or die trying."

Adam reached up and massaged his forehead for a minute, before dropping his arm to his side.

"Fine." He caved, "But don't make me regret this, Foster. If you break my son's heart, I will hunt you down."

"I won't." I promise.

He nods, and hesitantly steps around me and walks to the door and opens it, stepping inside.

He steps aside to allow me entrance.

Connor and I make eye contact, and his lips twitch into a smile. I walk forward, returning his smile. He pushes himself up in bed, looking at me with a look of happiness that made him look younger than his years. I approached the side of the bed. He reached out and gently took my hand into his. After a second he noticed the nail polish, and adjusted his hold to examine them.

"What's this?" He asks softly, looking up to meet my gaze.

"War paint." I respond.

His eyes widen slightly and he nods with a wide grin splitting his face. I grin back at him. I turn my eyes to the TV with a questioning look.

He scoots over and I slide onto the bed next to him, sitting so that our shoulders are touching.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before Connor broke the silence.

"I'm so glad you're here, Jude." He whispered, leaning his head on my shoulder. I shivered slightly at the feeling.

It felt so right.

"So am I."

"Surprised Dad let you in." He said with a frown.

"Told him I wanted to see you and wasn't leaving until then. He told me no again, so I sat down outside the door. He calls Lena. With her help, we got him to cave in and let me see you."

"I'm glad." Connor said.

"You came out to your dad, Connor." I said to him, "A month ago, that was unheard of. How did you do it?"

"He was badgering me about why I snuck out." Connor tells me, "Asked if it was because of Daria. I was sick of lying, so I snapped, and I told him I snuck out to see you. He asked what I meant, and I didn't lie. I told him I was gay, and that I had a crush on you. He stomped out of the room. I haven't spoken a word to him since. When he's in here, I just sit here and glare at him. Broke up with Daria when she came up to visit me too. Told her everything. Apologized for using her like I did. She understood. Wished me luck."

"I'm proud of you, you know that?" I tell him.

"For what?" Connor asked confused, "I should have done this after I kissed you in the tent! I've treated you like shit the last month!"

"Connor." I try to interrupt, but he keeps ranting.

"I stole your first kiss," He continues ranting, tears leaking from his eyes, "Then I made out with Daria in front of you, when we both knew I didn't like it! Then I started fucking with your feelings with all my mixed messages, my idiocy almost got us killed when we snuck out! I feel so bad for everything, Jude. You're my best friend, the only real one I have! And after the way I treated you, you're still willing to come up here and fight for me? You deserve so much better than me!"

"I DON'T WANT BETTER!" I shouted back, "I WANT YOU!"

I shock him into silence. I hear the door open behind us, and I turn around to see Adam and Lena standing there watching. I turn back to Connor, choosing to ignore them.

"I forgive you, okay?" I said, "I get it. You were confused, you were scared. I don't blame you, I'm scared too. But you're worth fighting for."

"No I'm not." He said quietly.

"Yes you are." I said, my tone offering no room for disagreement, "You are worth fighting a war over, Connor. You always have been, and after everything we've been through together, you always will be. You befriended me, you stuck up for me when nobody else did, you gave me your little Play Station without a seconds hesitation because I didn't have much stuff. You made me feel normal, you made me feel accepted, like nobody had ever done before. It would have been impossible NOT to develop this crush on you. All the good you've done far outweighs the bad."

I lean down a place a kiss on his forehead, and then I stare into his deep hazel eyes.

"Can I kiss you again?" Connor asked. I frown slightly.

"Your dad and Lena are standing at the door watching us, you realize that don't you?" I said.

"I don't care." He said.

This time I lent in first.

It was soft, sweet, and right. The beeping of the machines, the hum of the air conditioning, the sound coming from the television, all melted away. The only thing that existed was us. Connor deepened the kiss. In the back of my mind it barely registered that we were making out for the first time.

When we finally separated, we both exhaled shuddering breaths.

That kiss was different. It was the start of something new.

"So, um." He tried to say, "Umm. Wow, that was uh."

"I know." I said with a breathy laugh. He giggled at me.

"So, what does this make us now?" He asks me, "I mean, we'll always be best friends no matter what, but it feels... different now."

"What do you want to do?" I ask him.

He looks at me for a minute before answering me.

"I want you to be my boyfriend." He answers, "If you'll have me."

"Do you want to keep it a secret at school?" I ask him, slightly dreading the answer.

"There is a couple of people I know who I want to tell in person." Connor answers, "A couple of them are coming over to visit me when I get out of here the day after tomorrow. I want you to be there with me when I do. After that I promise I won't hide you. You deserve better than to be kept a secret. I'll walk you to your classes. I'll carry your stuff. I'll hold your hand and kiss you in the hallways at school, I'll take you to the dances, and to hell with what everybody says. If I'm gonna be your boyfriend, I'm gonna do it right."

I smile at him.

"Okay." I agree, "I can live with that. I want to tell my siblings in person too. Boyfriends it is."

I hear a throat clear behind us. We turn to see that Lena and Adam have stepped into the room.

"Jude honey, we need to get going." Lena said.

Connor stared at Adam, a slightly fearful expression on his face.

"How much of our talk did you guys here?" Connor asked.

"Enough." Adam said, and exhaled deeply before meeting Connors gaze.

"Nothing you say is gonna changed my mind about this. This isn't going away. This isn't gonna change." Connor said, "I'm gonna date Jude, whether you like it or not. I should have done this months ago."

"I know this isn't going to go away." Adam replied after a minute, his voice full of resignation, "I don't get it. I don't like it. But... but if this what you want. If he truly makes you happy... I'll try my best. Just be patient with me okay?"

Connor stares at him.

"So your gonna give me my phone back then? You're gonna unblock Jude's number? Let us hang out again?" Connor asked. "Let us spend the night at each other's houses again?"

"If the door stays open at all times, and if you both promise that there'll be no funny business..." Adam started.

Connor and I both turned red.

"We're thirteen, dad. Neither of us is gonna be doing that for a long, loooooong time." Connor said exasperatedly.

In the back of my mind I remembered Taylors comment about how Daria wanted to lose her virginity and made a mental note to mention it later.

"Fine. Yes." Adam says reluctantly through gritted teeth.

"I don't want to hear any bad talk about us either." Connor pushed on, "No slurs, no snarky comments about it."

"That's acceptable." Adam responds, "As long as he makes you happy."

"He makes me happy, dad." Connor said, "He lights up the room when I see him, he makes me feel short of breath. I can barely get through the day without hearing his voice."

"Good." Adam said. "Like I said, I'll try."

"Thank you, Mr. Stevens." I said. He turned to look at me, shocked. "I know this is hard for you to accept, but thank you."

He nods at me. I turn back to Connor and give him another kiss.

"I gotta go. I'll text you tomorrow."

I head towards the door, but stop next to Mr. Stevens.

"Thank you." I said, "I promise you, you won't regret this."

He nodded a stiff nod at me. I turned to Lena.

"Let's go."

We left the room and headed towards the elevator. When the doors closed she turned to me.

"So... boyfriends huh?" She said with a smile.

I nod and giggle.

"I'm so happy for you, honey." She said.

"For the first time in a long time," I said, "It feels like everything is gonna be okay. For the first time in a long time, I have hope for the future. As long as I have Connor, I think I'll be okay."

I held up my hand and looked at my nails and smiled.

"You painted your nails? You haven't done that in a while." Lena said.

"That day I wore it to school for the second time, Connor did to. He did it to show that he would stick up for me. This is more than just nail polish to us."

"What is it?" She asked.

"It's our war paint."


	2. The Team

  * Chapter 2: The Team.



Jude's POV:

I marched up to the door and knocked five times.

The door opened, and Adam took one look at me and frowned slightly.

"Thank god. Maybe you can calm him down." He said.

"He freaking out?" I asked.

"He's been pacing his room for the past three hours." Adam deadpanned, "It can't be good for his foot. Get up there and try to calm him down."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Please?" He growled.

I nodded and headed up the stairs.

I walked into Connors room for the first time in months. The first thing I noticed was that he had took down a few of his posters and the furniture was moved around. He was indeed pacing, but hadn't noticed me yet.

"Love what you've done with the place." I said, startling him. He nearly falls over and I lunge forward and grab his arm to stabilize him.

"Thank god you're here." He whispers shakily, "I'm freaking the fuck out right now."

"Watch your mouth man." I said with a roll of my eyes, "Just calm down, Connor. You'll be fine. Just sit down and breath for a second."

He obeyed me, sitting down in his desk chair.

"How's your foot?"

"It's fine. I have to use a cane to walk without a huge limp, but it doesn't hurt as much as it did the other day." Connor answered.

"Soooo, what exactly am I here for?" I asked.

"You are gonna stand by me while I come out to my closest friends on the baseball team."

"Wait... All of them? At once?" I asked shocked.

"Yep." Connor said, "Don't worry, there's only four of them."

"You never do anything half way do you?"

"Nope."

Adam appeared in the doorway and cleared his throat, looking supremely uncomfortable.

"They're here. They're all waiting in the living room when you're ready." Adam said.

Connor gulped in fear. He looked over to me and nodded before grabbing his sleek black cane and limped to stand in front of me. He grabbed my hand, and I squeezed in comfort.

"You ready for this Jude?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I respond, "I'm ready, but are you? You're shaking."

"I'm fricken terrified." Connor said shakily, "They're my team. They're like my brothers. I've been close to them since we were in third grade. I don't want to lose them because of this."

"If they desert you, they were never your real friends in the first place." I tell him, "You've had a pretty good run of coming out to people so far. Taylor's tickled to death that we're together. She called me after I texted her the news about us to ask if she could be our hag, whatever that means. Daria wished us good luck. Lena joked that she didn't care as long as she got to plan the wedding..."

"Wait, what?" Connor interjected, eyes wide.

"She was kidding." I assure him, "Your mom was thrilled that you were dating somebody who she could take shopping."

Connor snorted.

"Right now, the only one who hasn't reacted well is your dad." I said, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.

"You can say that again." Connor said icily, and turned a glare on him, "Threatening to take me away from the person I have a crush on and send me to a conversion camp out of state definitely qualifies as reacted badly."

Adam squirmed under our combined glare.

"Those places don't work, you know that, don't you?" I deadpan.

"I know that now." Adam said stiffly, "My darling ex wife already gave me a lengthy lecture about it. "

"You shouldn't have thought about doing it in the first place!" Connor growled.

"I said I was sorry..."

"Sorry isn't good enough, dad."

"I'm trying my best here, Connor!" Adam growled back.

"WELL YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!" Connor snapped and shouted.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH!" I shout over them. I put my hand on Connor's shoulder and squeeze, calming him down, "You two can bicker later, when I'm not here. But now we have business to take care of, in case you've both forgotten."

"Jude's right." Connor said, still glaring at Adam, "Let's get this over with."

He marched out of the room, his shoulder clipping Adam as he passed. I roll my eyes.

We both step into the living room, to find his friends from the baseball team sitting on the couch and in the chairs eating chips.

Connor cleared his throat. Everybody jumped, and smiled in unison.

"CONNOR!" Four voices all cheered and smiled at him.

A tall skinny boy with red hair jumped up and nearly tackled him.

"Glad you're okay bro."

"Me too, Jackson." Connor said, before turning to me and beckoning me forward, "You remember Jude, right Jax?"

"Sup Foster!" Jackson shouted in welcome. I gave him a shy nod, "Yeah I remember Jude, I sat with you guys at lunch a couple of times before you started making out with Daria in front of us."

Connor and I wince in unison. Jackson immediately takes notice and quirks and eyebrow in question.

"Jude, you already know Jackson. He's my best friend besides you." Connor said, "The curly blonde one on the couch is Castor, to his right you have the twins, Alex and Carson."

I nodded to each of them in turn, and received either a nod or smile in return. Jax could tell we were stalling though, so he cut straight to the chase.

"Okay, introductions made, we're all glad you're okay Connie, but why are we really here?" He asked, "You sounded really nervous on the phone."

"Do NOT call me that damned name again." Connor deadpanned, "Only my mom and... uh, my significant other are allowed to call me that. Barely."

"You let Daria call you Connie?" Castor asked.

"Daria's not my girlfriend anymore." Connor said nervously, "That's actually part of the reason you guys are here."

"You two broke up? What happened?" Alex asked, a knowing smile on his face, that gave me the impression he knew EXACTLY where this was going.

"Um. I fell for somebody else." Connor said.

"Who? Daria was fine as hell! One of the best looking girls in the grade." Carson pressed.

"She's not what I was looking for." Connor said, "The night we all snuck out, I was sneaking out to see the person I liked."

"Taylor?" Alex asked sarcastically.

"No." Connor said simply. "Not Taylor."

"Is it... Jude?" Carson asked nonchalantly.

Connor stiffened. He clenched his eyes closed and drew a deep breath.

"Y-y-yes." He stuttered out.

Deafening silence filled the room. They all stared at us, their faces blank, as Connor linked his hand in mine.

"Jude and I are dating now." Connor continued shakily, "I've uh, had a crush on him for months."

"Connor," Jax said interrupted sheepishly, "We kind of already knew that last bit."

Connor and I stared at him like he had just professed his undying dream of drowning a rodeo clown in a McDonalds grease fryer. Everybody else was nodding in agreement.

"H-how?" Connor squeaked.

"You're kind of obvious, buddy." Alex said, "You never shut up about him. Every five minutes, literally, you were talking about him."

"Every time you would see him, your eyes would light up." Carson continued.

"Then you'd stare at him with this goofy little smile on your face." Jax added.

"You were like a lost puppy with him, man." Castor said.

"The living embodiment of the heart eyes emoji on the iPhone whenever he was around or mentioned." Alex finished.

Connor was blushing so hard I was convinced he was inventing a new shade of burgundy.

"So... you guys aren't mad? You aren't gonna beat us up or anything?" Connor asked quietly.

"Over what?" Jax asked.

"Me being gay, and Jude being my boyfriend." Connor answered.

"Of course we're not." Castor exclaimed, scandalized, "It's kind of sweet actually. You found somebody worthy of you. Congrats."

"Yeah man, we're happy for you." Alex said, "And we could never hate you. You're like our brother. We've all been friends since third grade. There's nothing wrong with being gay, bro. None of us care. You don't have to hide anything from us."

"We don't care if you act coupley and kiss and stuff in front of us either." Castor said, "As long as you allow us the same courtesy if we have our girlfriends around."

Everybody nodded in agreement. Connor lent in and kissed me on my cheek.

"You couldn't have picked a better boy to date, JJ." Jax said to me, "You snagged a good one."

"JJ?" Connor asked.

"You said his first two names are Jude Jacob. So JJ is the nickname I came up for him." Jax explained.

"You can call me JJ, I guess. And yes, I know." I agreed, smiling at Connor, "I'm trying to drill that into his head."

"Insert innuendo here." Jax said with a smirk.

"Jax?" Connor and I said calmly.

"Yes?" Jax asked, equally calm.

"Shut the fuck up." We said in unison.

Castor stared at us with wide eyes.

"That's kind of creepy. Talking in unison like that."

"Alex and Carson do it all the time." Connor pointed out.

"Yeah, but..." Alex started

"We're fuckin' twins..." Carson continued.

"That comes with it!" They finished together.

"ANYWAY!" I interject, "Let's steer away from the nuthouse and back to our original discussion."

"Yeah, lets." Jax agreed, "What are you guys gonna do about school tomorrow. I hear you were coming back Connor."

"Yeah." Connor said, "I promised Jude that I wouldn't hide our relationship from anybody. We've already got Daria and Taylor onboard, since they've volunteered to be our hags, whatever that means."

Adam snorted from the doorway.

"I'm thinking we be subtle about it." Connor said, "Hold hands and kiss and stuff. Just like any other couple would. We would have you guys and the girls as backup. So we wouldn't have to worry about too much."

"Sounds like a plan." Jax agreed. Everybody nodded.

"How many other people know?" Castor asked, "If you don't mind me asking."

"Other than you guys? Not many people. Connor's parents, my mom Lena, Taylor and Daria, my sister Callie..."

"How did Callie find out?" Connor asked.

"We were sitting in the gym at the dance competition earlier, and she asked me if I'd heard anything about you, and how you were doing. I told her that I saw you and you were good. She started to ask me how I got in to see you, but I cut her off and told her you were my boyfriend."

"What did she say?" Connor asked.

"She said that we should be careful, but she was happy for me." I said, "She also says we need to tell Brandon, Mariana, Jesus and momma as soon as we get the chance."

Connor nodded in agreement and Adams phone rang. He answered it.

"We can tell them tomorrow if you want to." Connor said.

"Probably a good idea." I agree.

"Hate to break up the party," Adam interrupted, "It's Lena, she wants you to head home, Jude. Says she's making lasagna tonight."

I said farewell to everybody and quickly pedaled home on my bike.

Connor's POV:

Jude and the team had left an hour ago and I was sitting on my bed, thinking about the last few days, when my phone rang. I looked at the screen to see it was Jude.

I answer it.

"Hey Jude."

*Sniffle*

I'm immediately alert.

"Jude? Are you alright? What happened."

"There, uh." Jude answered, his voice thick with tears, "There was a car accident. Jesus, Mariana and their mom."

My heart dropped into my stomach.

"Are they okay?" I asked him, concerned

"Anna died. The baby didn't make it." Jude answered shakily.

I swore silently.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"I don't know." He said, "I think so."

"How are Mariana and Jesus?" I ask.

"They're at the hospital. I'm at home with Callie." He said, "Momma called earlier and told us that Jesus has a broken arm and a concussion, and Mariana is okay except for some cuts and bruises. They're both in shock."

"Do you need me to come over right now?" I ask him.

"No. I'll be okay. I appreciate it though." He said.

"Anytime. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I said.

"Yeah. See you tomorrow." He responded.

I heard a click and the line went dead.

I let out a frustrated groan as I fell back onto the bed.

"Perfect." I whisper sarcastically, "And the day was going so well."


	3. Telling The Fosters

Chapter 3: Telling the Fosters.

Connor's POV.

I jump when my alarm clock starts screeching it's evil song to alert me that it was 10:00 am. I roll over with a groan and glare at the clock as if it did my a grievous wrong. I've barely slept a wink the whole night after Jude hung up. I can't believe that Jesus and Mariana were hurt! They were too nice for that. Sure Jesus is a bit snarky but that's part of his charm to be perfectly honest.

I roll out of bed with a groan, wincing as I put my weight on my injured foot. Guilt suddenly returns as all the events leading up to it returned to my mind.

God I'm an idiot.

I can almost feel Jude rolling his eyes as my thoughts start to wander into negativity.

To be honest, I have had a crush on Jude for longer than I realized myself. When I first met him, in math class almost a year ago, the first thought that flashed through my head was that he looked like he needed a hug. I remembering thinking he was cute, but dismissed the thought almost immediately. I was so intent on being straight, even though I was near certain that I wasn't.

So I said hello to him.

Introduced myself, and set us down the path towards where we stand now.

I'm an admitted homosexual, who is finally going to live his life while not sequestered in the depressing, lonely darkness of the closet... I'm out... To my family... to my friends... and Jude is my boyfriend.

I can't help but smile like a goof when I think those words or hear them spoken aloud. When the fact is acknowledged that I, Connor Alexander Stevens, am dating Jude Adams Foster. That fact that he and I get to kiss as often as we please, and nobody can stop us is a perk as well.

God, it makes me want to do back flips.

I probably would if my foot wasn't screwed up.

I crossed the room to my closet and pulled out my outfit for the day. Same as usual. Flannel shirt and jeans. I made a mental note to take my mom up on her offer for a shopping trip. I have more flannel than anything else. It's kind of silly. But Jude likes it, so I guess it's not too bad.

Once I dress I head down the stairs to the kitchen and pull a glass out of the cupboard. I extract the milk jug from the fridge and pour myself some, and I take my pain medication from its place on the counter. I pop the pills into my mouth and down the whole glass in one gulp.

A throat clears behind me. I turn around and face my dad.

I notice he looks saddened, and tired.

"What's wrong, dad?" I ask, "Did you sleep at all last night?"

He shook his head in the negative.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

He stared at my foot for a minute before looking up to make eye contact with me.

"I'm sorry, Connor." He said, "For wanting to send you to that camp."

Okay, wasn't expecting that.

"S'okay, I guess." I grumble.

"No. It's not." He said, "I did a bit of research on those places. The things they do in those places... I can't believe what I almost put you through. Exorcisms, electroconvulsive therapy... those places are fucking torture camps, and I almost sent you to one."

"Yeah. Almost being the operative word." I tell him, "It's okay, dad. It didn't happen. No use crying over spilled milk."

He looked at me funny.

"What?" I ask.

"How did you get so forgiving?" He asked, "If somebody had done that to me as a kid, I would have held a grudge forever."

"Simple." I said, "In the end, the past doesn't matter, as long as you don't repeat it. Jude's taught me that."

"You really love this kid, don't you?" He asked after a moment's hesitation.

"Yes. I do." I confirm.

He sighs.

"I'll try harder, okay?" He said, "You deserve that. You both do. Jude was right, what he said in the hospital."

"Right about what?" I asked.

"He promised that I wouldn't regret caving in and letting you two see each other. I think he might have been right."

He drew in a breath.

"I did a bit of thinking last night," He said, "After I did that research. I realized a few things, that are painful to realize."

"What?" I ask.

"You haven't changed at all." Dad said, "It's my perception of you that's changed. The only thing different from you now and you before the shooting, is that you enjoy kissing Jude in front of me out of spite at every open opportunity."

I smirk.

"It is fun to watch you squirm." I chuckle.

"And you're still a smart ass." Dad said.

"I learned from the master." I countered.

"Your mother?" He asked jokingly.

"Yep." I agree with mock seriousness.

"Ha. Boy is that the truth." Dad said.

I smile and chuckle.

"I missed this." I said, "The friendly banter."

"Ha. Yeah. So did I." Dad said.

I made a decision, and I crossed the kitchen, and I hugged my dad for the first time in months. It took him a second to shake himself out of the shock of what I was doing, but when he did, he returned the hug.

"I miss you, dad." I said quietly, "I don't want you to push me away because I'm gay."

"I'll try harder, I promise." He said, "Maybe I'll try talking to Stef and Lena. Maybe they can help me."

"It's worth a try." I agree, "I just want our relationship to get back to the way it was before."

"Me too, bud. Me too." Dad said.

"Anyway, I'm heading over to Jude's." I told him, "We're gonna tell his family we're together."

"Okay, be back by 9:30. You have school tomorrow."

I headed to the garage and got my bike, and slowly pedaled to Jude's house. My foot made it kind of difficult, but ten minutes later I arrived at the Adams Foster house. I parked my bike on the porch and knocked on the door.

Stef answered.

"Oh. Hey Connor, good to see you." She said, offering me a small smile, "Jude's upstairs."

"Thanks." I said, and headed upstairs.

I walked into Jude's room.

He didn't notice me. He was sitting on his bed, playing on his tablet. He had headphones in his ears and was bobbing his head to the music that was playing. I could barely make out the sound of electric guitars.

I walked up to the bed and flicked his shoe. He jumped and threw a kick out of reflex, hitting me in the stomach. I dropped to my knees, clutching my stomach.

"Crap. I am so sorry! I didn't mean to do that."

"What is it with you kicking me when I flick your shoe?" I wheeze jokingly.

He smiled at me, before leaning in and pecking me on the lips.

"They always say history repeats itself." He joked, "Guess they were right."

"Yeah, guess they were." I agree, "Same situation, different circumstances. What were you listening to anyway?"

"Stuff by these bands that Jesus and Brandon both like," Jude said, "My favorite's called Guns N' Roses."

I snort a loud laugh.

"You? Listening to Guns N' Roses?" I laugh, "I gotta remember to tell my dad that. That's his favorite band."

"Really?" Jude asks.

"Yeah, dude." I said, "He has every album they've ever made on vinyl, except for the new one. What was it called? Chinese something..."

"Chinese Democracy." Jude corrected.

"Yeah that. He hates that album." I said.

"It's not that bad, but it's not the best. I'll agree on that."

"Oh and he thinks that we're kissing in front of him out of spite."

"There is that, but it's also a lot of fun to do."

"Want to?"

Jude's answer was to lean in and pull me into a kiss.

"WOOOW, Okay.. uh.. didn't need to see that!"

Jude and I fly apart, and whip towards the voice to see Jesus standing in the doorway with his good hand covering his eyes.

"Have you stopped kissing yet?" He asked.

"Yes Jesus." Jude said shakily.

Jesus uncovered his eyes.

"Soooo. You guys are together now?" He asked.

"Yeah. We are." Jude confirms.

"Since when? And when did you finally admit that you're gay, Connor?" He asks.

"We've been together since the day Jude saw me in the hospital." I said, "And I came out to my dad the night I got shot."

"About fricken time, dude." Jesus said, exasperatedly, "I was about ready to lock you two in a closet and wait till you came to your senses."

"You knew?" I ask.

"Jude talks in his sleep." Jesus said with a shrug, "One night, I couldn't sleep, and I heard him say: Why did you kiss me, Connor?"

Jude blushed red.

"After that I kept an eye on the two of you." Jesus continued, "And I have to say, you two were obvious. The day before Connor got shot, when he was over, when I walked in and kicked you guys out of the room, you two were playing footsie. Not exactly subtle."

"So you don't care if I date Connor then?" Jude asked, sounding small.

Jesus' snarky exterior softened and he offer Jude a small smile.

"S'all good, little bro." He said, "As long as you're happy. That's all that matters. Oh, and Connor?"

"What?" I ask.

"You hurt my brother, you die a slow and painful death. And momma knows how to make it look like an accident." He said with a smirk. I gulp.

"Shut up Jesus. Can you send Mari and Brandon up? Tell we need to talk to them." Jude asks him, "I want to tell them next."

"Sure thing, little bro." Jesus said, "And don't worry. They'll be fine with it too. Trust me."

He exits the room and heads back down stairs.

"I know he's kind of an ass sometimes," Jude comments, "But he really is a good big brother."

"You're lucky. You've got four siblings that adore you." I tell him as Mariana and Brandon come up the stairs.

Mariana takes one look at me and runs in an hugs me.

"Hi Connor. It's good to see you again."

"You too Mariana."

"What's this about Jude?" Brandon asks, "Jesus said you wanted to talk to us. That it was important?"

"Yeah. I'm telling everybody separately."

"Telling us what?" Mariana asked.

"You remember when Jude came up to the hospital to visit me and squared off against my dad?"

They both nodded.

"When he finally let Jude in, Jude and I discussed things, and we came to a mutual decision." I start.

"We both realized that we have feelings for each other," Jude continues, "Feelings that aren't platonic."

"So, we decided in the hospital," I said, "We decided that we were gonna give a relationship with each other a try."

Mariana gasped.

"You mean? You and Connor are boyfriends now?" She asked.

We nodded. She squealed in delight and hugged us both.

"When did this start?" Brandon asked.

"Technically it started on the camping trip when Connor kissed me in the tent." Jude said.

"Really, it started when I painted my nails in Jude's defense." I interjected.

"Aww. You two are too cute." Mariana said sweetly, "I'm glad. You two are perfect for each other."

"But if you hurt him Connor, you die a horrible death." Brandon said seriously, "You'd be amazed what I can do with piano wire and a car battery."

"Jesus already threatened him, Brandon." Jude deadpanned.

"Oh. Okay good. Never mind then." Brandon said, "Who else do you have to tell?"

"Stef is the last one." I tell them.

"Okay, we'll send her up next."

They made a quick exit, and Stef was soon heading up the stairs.

"You summoned me, boys?" She joked.

"Yeah, we have something to tell you momma."

"Okay, what is it honey?" Stef asked.

"You remember how I went up to the hospital the other day?" Jude asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"We talked a lot during that visit. Figured a lot of things out." I said.

"Connor and I have decided that we want to date each other." Jude told her.

"Oh sweetheart that's great!" She squealed, wrapping us both in a tight hug, "Who else knows?"

"Everybody that matters." I said, "You and Lena. Callie, Jesus, Brandon, and Mariana. My mom and dad. My best friends on the baseball team. Taylor and Daria."

"Tomorrow, we're going back to school." Jude said, "We've decided that we aren't going to hide it. We're gonna be open about it."

"Are you sure about this?" She asked.

"We're sure." I confirm, "Jude deserves better than to be a secret. I promised him that I wouldn't hide my feelings for him. I'm not gonna go back on that promise."

"We're gonna act like every other couple." Jude adds, "We have Connor's team at our backs, Taylor and Daria have declared themselves to be our hags. We don't know what that means, but I think it's a good thing."

"Hag is slang," Stef said, "It's just a straight woman who spends a lot of time with gay people."

"Oh. Sounds about right then." I said.

"I'm happy for you boys." Stef said, "But be careful. I don't want either of you getting hurt."

"Dad's worried about that too." I tell her, "Oh by the way, be expecting a call from him sometime. He's trying to come to terms with my being gay, and he thinks talking to you and Lena might help with it."

"Of course. Tell him we're here for him if he needs to talk." Stef agrees. "Is that all you guys wanted?"

We nod.

"I'm gonna go help Lena with lunch." She said, and made her exit.

I turn back to Jude and pull him into another kiss. He responds immediately, and it suddenly feels very hot in his room.

It lasts for ten full minutes. Ten minutes of bliss. He pulls away first, and his hair is tussled from where my hands raked through it. His lip is swollen, as well.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to how good it feels to kiss you." I say lightly.

He laughs at me with a smile.

"Sap."

I give him a playful shove.

"I'm glad we decided to be boyfriends." Jude said.

"So am I, Jude. So am I."

I pull him into a hug, and he rests his head in the crook of my neck. I lean my back against his bed and he snuggles into my side. I feel my eyes start to get heavy. I wrap my arm around him, and we both drift off to sleep.

That's where the rest of the family found us when they came to fetch us for lunch. They made sure to take a picture before waking us up.

As we all sat at the table, eating and chatting, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt happiness like this.

Tomorrow was a new day, though. One that Jude and I would face together, with the help of our friends. I didn't care if there would be obstacles, people who wouldn't get in our way, who would say things to us. I was done hiding.

Anybody who had a problem with that didn't stand a snowballs chance in hell.


	4. Back To Anchor Beach

Chapter 4: Back to Anchor Beach.

Jude's POV:

Well this is awkward.

The dreaded day of reckoning has arrived, and as far as I'm concerned it's getting off to a bad start. Because Connor and I find ourselves sitting in his living room with Taylor and Daria waiting for Jax, Castor, Alex and Carson to get here.

This is also the first time Connor and I have seen Daria in person since we started dating.

School starts in twenty five minutes, and Connor is already shaking like a leaf. He's pressed up against me with one arm around me, and the other hand gripping mine in a vice grip.

Sensing the awkwardness in the room, Taylor decides to try to make conversation.

"So. How are things?"

Connor doesn't respond.

"Good on our end. You?" I respond.

"Good." She said, "Is he okay?"

"I'm fine." Connor says, his voice hoarse, "I'm only losing my sanity."

"It's okay to be scared, Connor." Daria interjected, "You're about to come out to the school, something not many people are brave enough to do. The takes stones."

"Yeah, took me long enough." Connor snarked, "All I had to do was fall for my best friend, get a girlfriend to push the thoughts away, cheat on said girlfriend with said best friend, and then get shot in the foot. I'm the real picture of courage, aren't I?"

"Grr. Kitty's got his claws out, huh?" Taylor asked, approval in her voice, "I love it."

"Sorry. He get's snarky when he's scared or nervous." I said, and turned to Connor with narrowed eyes, "And I thought I told you to stop sweating that stuff?"

"Sorry, I can't help feeling bad about it." He said.

"Don't worry about it Connor." Daria said, "I'll admit that you didn't go about doing it the right way, but you were confused and scared. Confusion and fear make people do stupid things. If you'd have told me about some of the stuff I would have understood."

"I'm still sorry." He said, "I led you on. I cheated on you."

"Don't worry about it." She said, "I knew something was up between you two anyway. Plus you two are monstrously cute together."

"Daria, you are a gem." I tell her, "You're more forgiving than I thought you'd be."

"Everybody deserves their OTP." She said simply.

"Huh?" Connor asked confused.

"It means 'one true pairing'." She explained.

"Oh. That explains it." He said.

The door to the living room, and Jax bounces through the door followed by the others.

"Connor! You okay man?" He asks before turning to Daria, "And, hellooooo ladies."

"Don't start Jax." Connor deadpanned.

"I was just being polite, Connie."

"I will disembowel you with a salad fork." Connor growled

"Nah you won't." Jax said brightly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Jax, now isn't the time." I said, "If you haven't noticed, Connor is having a bit of a meltdown."

"Ah. I see. You nervous, bro?" He asked.

"Of course I am," Connor answered, "I'm only about to come out of the closet to a school that has zero openly gay students. Not an easy task."

"I'm pretty sure you're not gonna be the only one." Carson interjects, "In our grade? Maybe. But not the whole school. Some of the upperclassmen might be out."

"You guys wanna start walking there now?" Taylor suggests, "So Connor doesn't have the chance stew in his terror any more than he has to?"

"Sure let's do it." Connor said, as he grabs his cane and practically drags me out of the door.

Ten minutes later, our group was well into the journey to the school. Connor and I were walking at the head of the column. Daria was walking behind us, chatting flirtatiously with Jax. Taylor walked behind them, talking about some new movie with Castor, Carson and Alex.

I noticed that Connor was shaking even harder.

"Connor. Are you sure you want to do this?"

He turns his head to look at me.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to." I said.

"I do want to. I'm just a bit scared of what people are gonna say." He responded, "Besides, I promised you."

"I only want you to do this if you're a hundred percent sure." I said.

"With you, I'm always a hundred percent sure." He said.

He reached out and put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

We turned the corner and the school was in sight. Connor's shaking increased, but he was taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"Here it goes." He said.

I found myself shaking right along with him. He turned to me and held out his hand.

"Yeah. Here goes nothing." I said and grabbed his hand.

As we approached the school, we caught sight of other students waiting around the front doors. As soon as they caught sight of us, they immediately started whispering.

"There he is." One pointed out.

"He's back." Another stated the obvious.

"Can you believe he got shot?" One questioned.

Connor's grip on my hand tightened and he pulled me closer to his side as the rest of our group enclosed around us like our own personal secret service.

"Holy shit. Are Stevens and Foster holding hands?" Another asked.

We walked to my locker. I opened it, while everybody in the guard stood by us glaring at passerby.

"So."

Connor and I look up. I frown.

It's the same bully that made fun of me for my nail polish that one time.

"What do you want, Jeremy?" Connor asked testily.

"You two dating now, or some shit?" He sneered.

"Yes, actually. We are. You gotta problem?" I sneered back.

"Was I talking to you, faggot?" Jeremy sneered.

I barely gave it a second thought as Connor's fist flew out and made contact with his chin at the same time my knee rose to make painful contact with his genitalia. He fell to the ground, and Connor moved to throw another punch, but Jax grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back. Jeremy stumbled back to his feet. I could hear somebody laughing hysterical in the back ground.

"You okay? Your hand hurt?" I ask him.

"Oh, on the contrary. That felt awesome." He said, giving his fist a kiss. I rolled my eyes at his dorkiness, "He's lucky I didn't use my cane."

"You'll pay for that. You and your little fucking boyfriend." He snarled.

"OH I BEG TO DIFFER!"

I whip around to see Callie stalking down the corridor towards us like the devils personal bounty hunter, with Jesus and Mariana on her flanks.

Perfect timing.

"Did you know I've been to Juvie?" She asked Jeremy on approach.

He shook his head in the negative.

"I'm not afraid to go back." She said, getting up in his face, "You EVER touch my brother, or Connor, and I will take a baseball bat to your face."

"I will break both of your knees." Jesus continued, "Our brother will tie you up with piano wire and torture you mercilessly."

"And I will knock you out and throw you off a cliff." Mariana said chipper, making her threat even creepier, "Any questions?"

Jeremy looked properly traumatized now as he shook his head.

"Then beat it." Callie said, waving him off as if he were an annoying insect.

He made an exceptionally quick exit.

"We had that handled." Connor told Callie.

"We could see that." She agreed.

"But we weren't about to let you have all the fun." Jesus said jokingly.

"Thanks guys." I said sincerely.

"Any time little brother." Jesus said, "Anyway you better get to class. It starts soon."

I turned to Connor and lent in and gave him a kiss.

"See you at lunch." I said when we pulled apart.

Taylor and I headed off to class while the rest of the group headed off in the other direction.

Lunch came at the speed of a snail... not quickly enough.

There are six periods in Anchor Beach if you didn't count lunch. My first period was English, my second was Art, my third was history. Then lunch, then math, then science, then I ended the day with health class.

Since final exams are coming up, all the classes before lunch seemed to drag on forever. When lunch finally arrived, I met with the rest of the group at the doors, giving Connor a kiss hello, and headed out with them to one of the picnic tables that sat in the shade of the trees. We sat down and started to eat our sack lunches.

Well, everybody but Carson, who wasn't eating anything.

We had been sitting down for five minutes, when something caught my eye.

Two guys were walking towards our table.

They were holding hands.

I nudged Connor as they got closer. He looked up and I nodded towards them. He looked and his eyes widened.

The two guys approached the table.

"Can we sit here?" They asked.

"Of course." I said, and Jax and Daria scooted over to clear a spot for them.

"It's good to know we're not alone." Connor added.

"I'm Ritchie, this is Wynston." One of them introduced.

"I'm Jude, this is Connor." We shook their hands.

"We know. The whole school has been talking about you since this morning." Wynston said.

"The first openly gay couple in the school to ever come out." Ritchie added.

"We saw you guys take on that Jeremy kid earlier." Wynston said, "I nearly laughed myself silly."

"Oh that was you?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you guys come out too?" Connor asked.

"We figured we would let you guys know you weren't alone here." Ritchie said.

"What you guys did was brave." Wynston said, "We figure if you guys could do it, then why couldn't we? The closet was suffocating us."

"Yeah. I know what you mean." Connor muttered.

"Thank you both. It's... it's really nice of you." I said sincerely.

We all sat and talked to the new comers, getting to know them. I leaned my head on Connor's shoulder.

I pondered how the day had progressed so far.

Only one bad reaction.

Plus we had inspired another couple into coming out.

Our group was growing.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


	5. Jude's Secret

Connor's POV:

The end of my first week at Anchor Beach post coming out had finally arrived and I was on my way to Jude's to spend the night for the first time since I got shot. The week had turned out to be eventful and full of change. Jude and I planned our first date for Sunday (tomorrow). Our group had swelled, and people had jokingly taken to calling us "The Mafia", something that I find pleasing, and Jude finds laughable. The other players on my baseball team came up to wish us luck throughout the week. The day after Ritchie and Wynston joined our group, on Tuesday, two other people joined us. One of them was gay and one of them was straight.

The first was a football player on the Junior Varsity squad, named Colin Morgan. He was a year above us and acted like a typical jock. He stopped dead in his tracks by our table after seeing Jude and I kiss, and made a beeline for us. He congratulated us on being brave enough to be open about our relationship. We found out that his older brother was the victim of a hate crime that he barely survived, and he offered us his help if we ever needed backup of the physical variety. We accepted.

The second was a guy who was in the drama club, named Austin Beverly. Also in the year above us, he is probably the most flamboyant guy I have ever met. Wears some pretty ostentatious outfits just for the hell of it. He is incredibly silly. I've taken to calling him Joker because he's always cracking jokes of the inappropriate variety. Also, he enjoys engaging in boy talk with Daria and Taylor like nobody else I've ever met.

He and Colin have been best friends since they were little kids, since their moms were best friends. They grew up together, and as a result they were really close. On the first day they sat with us, Austin made several filthy jokes at lunch that made Jude squirm in discomfort, made Jax nearly choke on his roast beef sandwich, and made Colin snort milk up his nose before cackling exuberantly. Jude turns red and squints a little bit if he's uncomfortable. Then he rolls his eyes and shakes it off.

He's cute when he's uncomfortable.

Also, Jax asked Daria out on a date on Tuesday morning. She accepted after thinking about it until lunch. From what Jax was saying the next day, it went very well. He took her out to see a movie and then they went to dinner. They make out at every possible opportunity, as well. It's kind of irritating, but I'm also kind of glad that Daria has moved on from me without holding a grudge. She found somebody who could love her properly, and it really seemed as though Jax was as smitten with Daria as I was with Jude, which is a feat in itself. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard somebody say that Jude has me whipped, I'd probably be rich... no matter how true it probably is.

Taylor and Castor had started dating. It wasn't nearly as showy as Daria and Jax's relationship. They didn't spend their lunch period making out, they spent it making snarky comments about Daria and Jax making out. Their first date was Thursday afternoon, and they went paintballing. Apparently Taylor is ridiculously good at it. She spent the day destroying everybody that challenged her. Afterwards they went home and spent a couple of hours talking, getting to know each other better.

Alex and Carson were still single, but they didn't really seem to want relationships at the moment. They see perfectly content to sit by and watch the other happy couples mingle, while they make snarky comments about needing to get a room, or their impending need to visit a dentist to fix the cavities undoubtedly caused by the pure sugariness of our relationships. The idiots even labeled mine and Jude's relationship as "Jonnor", a name made by putting together our first names. I roll my eyes every time it's said aloud, which is a lot, since the whole school uses it, much to my annoyance. Jude likes it though, so I bear it.

Ritchie and Wynston were kind of shy at first, but once we got them to open up we learned a lot about them. We asked them how and when they had started dating, and we all learned that their evolution to boyfriends was once a nearly laughable thought.

Apparently on the first day of preschool, they had gotten into a fight because Wynston had spilled a small pot of finger paint into Ritchie's lap. Ritchie proceeded to tackle Wynston. They became archrivals. According to Ritchie, they "engaged in fisticuffs" (his exact words) at almost every available opportunity from preschool to the last couple of days of sixth grade. They constantly strove to outdo each other in grades and everything the other did.

Basically, nobody hated each other more than Richard "Ritchie" Holmes, and Wynston John Adler.

Then, they landed themselves in detention for the last week of sixth grade. The first day, they sat in opposite corners of the room, glaring at each other. The second day, they got tired of the silence and started talking to each other from across the room to relieve the boredom. The third day, they sat next to each other and talked the whole time. The fourth day was much the same, and they realized that not only could they get along, they also had a ton of stuff in common. On the fifth and final day, they decided that they were gonna try and be friends.

They spent the whole summer hanging out, and over the course of their hangouts, they became inseparable. They confided in each other about their suspected sexual orientations. They became as close as two boys could get, and on the first day of seventh grade, they entered the school, tossing jokes back and forth, laughing uproariously at each one.

Jude and I asked Lena if she remembered any of this, and she said she was the one who sat in to supervise the detentions. She also said that when they walked into school at the beginning of the year, she had nearly fainted from the shock at seeing them acting so chummy with each other.

They told us that they had gotten together on Ritchie's fourteenth birthday, May 23rd. Wynston had realized a month before that that he had feelings for his best friend that weren't platonic. He spent the night that night and confessed his feelings to Ritchie, nearly bursting into tears in the process. Ritchie hugged him tight and told him that the feelings were mutual. They had been dating for about a month, but only had the courage to come out into the open with it when they saw Jude and I knock Jeremy on his ass on Monday.

I smile to myself as I think of how many friends I have gained, and I snap out of my musings as we pull up to Jude's place.

I turn to dad.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I said him.

He nods.

"Yeah." Adam said, "I'll be driving you and Jude on your date, and we'll be here for dinner tomorrow too. Tomorrow's father's day, so Stef and Lena invited me to dinner tomorrow night."

"Oh." I said, shocked, "Jude said they invited you. I figured you would have said no."

"I told you I would try harder." He said, "Besides, Jude's been over every day this week after school, and I have to admit, he's not... the MOST unpleasant company to have around."

I stare at him in open shock.

"Has hell frozen over?" I deadpan.

He snorts.

"Maybe, kid. Maybe." He mumbled.

"I'm glad." I said, "I'm glad you're trying harder. These last few days are the best we've gotten along in months. It's starting to be like it used to, even if you get a little awkward when Jude is around."

"You're my son." He said, "Lena was right. You being g-g-gay shouldn't change that."

Again I stare at him in shock. That was the first time he has ever acknowledged my sexual orientation aloud in front of me.

"Okay, now I KNOW hell has frozen over."

He reaches over and tousles my hair.

"Get going brat."

"Yes, sir!" I salute to him jokingly as I get out of the truck. I get my bag out of the back seat and close the door, stepping away from the truck.

I turn around to watch him drive away, honking his horn once in goodbye. I wave once, smile to myself, and turn to walk up the pathway to the front door. I knock on the door three times, and Lena quickly answers it. I quickly notice that hard rock music is blaring from upstairs. I furrow my eyebrows in question, which Lena quickly picks up on.

"Brandon and Jesus got Jude hooked on Guns N' Roses." She explains exasperatedly, "They've been blaring that crap for three hours, sitting up there playing poker on the floor of Jude and Jesus's room. The only silence we've gotten today is the short pause in between switching the albums."

I shake my head fondly. If Jesus and Brandon were betting real money, Jude would probably have cleaned them out by now. I had taught him how to play Texas Hold 'Em about a week after we first became friends, and it turned out he was really good at it. On the one occasion he played against me and my dad, he bankrupted us both. Since then I taught him to play five card stud, which he also excelled at.

"The music may be partially my fault. Thursday, when we went shopping with my mom, I made the mistake of taking Jude into a music store." I tell her, "He spent his whole allowance on copies of all of GN'R's albums, plus a couple by Aerosmith and AC/DC."

"Why Aerosmith and AC/DC?" She asked.

"He heard Walk This Way and You Shook Me All Night Long on the radio and decided that he just had to have the albums they come from."

"Great." She said, "At least Mariana and Callie managed to resist the pull."

"Why? You don't like rock and roll?" I asked her jokingly.

"I grew up listening to the stuff they're blasting. I've listened to those songs so many times, I got burnt out on them."

"Oh, yeah that makes sense." I concede. "The poker is completely my fault, though. I taught him how to play when we first became friends. Turns out he's a shark."

Lena snorted.

"Yeah, he is." She agrees, "Every few minutes, you'll hear somebody swear. That means Jude wins again. Brandon and Jesus are really competitive, so they don't know when to quit. Anyway head on up. Jude's been anxious for you to get here."

She didn't have to tell me twice, and I bolted up the stairs as fast as my thrice be damned foot would allow me. The door was open, and I could so Jude with his back turned to me, sitting beside his bed. I could see a mountain of poker chips sitting in front of him. Brandon and Jesus sat facing me and saw me coming. I held my finger to my lips, indicating for them not to say anything. I got down on my knees and kneeled right behind Jude. I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him from behind. He let out a started yelp and flailed for a second before turning his head to see that it was me. A grin stretched across his face, and he turned in my arms and wrapped his arms around me, knocking me backwards onto my back. He kissed me for a couple of seconds before Jesus cleared his throat.

He pulled away, a small blush adorning his face.

I placed a kiss on his nose, making him blush even more.

"Did ya miss me?" I ask him in a teasing tone

"Could have done without the heart attack, to be perfectly honest," He responded in the same tone, "But yeah, I missed you. Even though we saw each other yesterday."

We sit up and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. Brandon got up and turned the music down, as I took a look at the monstrous stack of chips that Jude had amassed, compared to the tiny stacks of chips that Jesus and Brandon had managed to cling to.

"I probably should have warned you guys that he's a shark when it comes to poker." I said apologetically, "Or any other card game for that matter. The only card game I've been able to beat him at is Go-Fish."

"Yeah, that would have been nice to know earlier." Jesus grumbled.

"Just be glad you don't play for money like my dad did when we played against him a few months ago." I told them, "Jude cleaned him out of every penny he had. Jude would have had a couple hundred bucks if he hadn't given it back afterwards."

Brandon snorted.

"I'm so taking you to Vegas when you turn eighteen."

Jesus let out a bark of laughter.

"Dios mio. I can see it now." He said, laughing, "Jude sitting at a poker table with ten grand worth of chips in front of him. He'd probably give the casino owners a heart attack."

"That sounds like fun actually." Jude said, jumping in on their train of thought, "It'd be a nightmare convincing moms though."

"That is true." Brandon agreed, "Anyway, we are gonna leave you two lovebirds alone, don't do anything X-Rated."

Jude made sure to stick his foot in Brandon's walking path as he and Jesus exited the room, causing him to stumble. He wasn't blushing, though. Actually, he looked a bit pale at the thought of doing anything like that, and then he started to look a little green.

Oh god. That can't be good. He only does that when something connected to his past comes up.

"What's wrong, Jude?" I ask, "You look pale."

'They've been making jokes like that all day." Jude grumbled, "It's getting on my nerves. I'm not ready for anything beyond kissing, and I won't be for a long time. No matter how many times I say that, they won't stop."

"You look like you just saw a ghost." I deadpan, "Tell me what's the matter. I might be able to help."

He sat there for a second before sighing and turning to me.

"It's a long story. It's from when I was in the foster system before I got to Stef and Lena."

"You can tell me anything, you know." I assure him, "You're my boyfriend. If something is bothering you, you can tell me."

"I don't want to unload all that on you." He answers.

"Why? You afraid it'll scare me away or something?"

He answers me with nothing but deafening silence. I sigh and wrap him in a hug.

"Jude. You are my boyfriend. Nothing you could do would scare me away. You could kill somebody, and I would go on the news and tell everybody you didn't do it... even after I help you hide the body."

He snorted, and the corner of his mouth quirked.

"Fine," He said, "I'll tell you. I'll be right back."

He got up and walked to the door and went downstairs, returning a minute later, shutting the door behind him.

"I had to ask the moms for permission to shut the door," He explained, "So that we don't get disturbed while I explain this."

"Okay." I said, nodding for him to start talking.

"And try not to interrupt me, okay?" He asks, and I nod in agreement. "This is gonna take a while. How much have I told you about my time in the foster system? Because one of the things I'm about to tell you, I've never told anybody. Not even Callie."

"Uh. Not much. Just that you went into the system when you were six, and it was not pleasant." I answer him.

He took a deep breath and started talking.

"When I was six years old, my mom and dad want out on a date night, leaving Callie and I at home with a babysitter. They said they would be home by the time we went to be. Callie and I's bedtime was ten o'clock. We always waited up for them. Ten o'clock came and went, and still no mom and dad. At about three o'clock in the morning, we get a knock on the door. The babysitter answers it. It's this guy in a suit, escorted by a couple of policemen. He was a social worker. Bill was his name. He is the sole reason why Callie and I were never separated, and I will be forever grateful to him for that..."

He paused to draw a breath before he continued.

"He explained to the babysitter what had happened, completely unaware of us eavesdropping. My dad, Donald, was drunk and tried to drive them home. Ended up passing out at the wheel, drifting into another lane and crashing into another car. My mother was killed instantly, and the driver of the other car died at the scene. Dad was taken straight to jail, and they took Callie and I straight to a Foster home. They were nice, but we only stayed there for about a month. We moved around a lot in the first few years. Some good homes, a lot of terrible ones. We both ended up in the hospital for malnutrition and injuries a couple of times. Eventually we arrived at the Olmsteads. The parent's had a son named Liam. He's in jail now."

Jude shuddered violently.

"They all seemed nice, but I never trusted Liam. He and Callie grew close, and they eventually started a relationship, despite the age difference and the fact he was our foster brother. We stayed there for two years, and he always acted weird around me. One night, he snuck into Callie's room and tried to convince her to have sex with him. She pleaded with him not to, because she wasn't ready. He forced her. He... he raped her. Then he claimed she came onto him and we were thrown out."

Both of my fists clenched in anger. Jude took a shuddering breath and continued.

"Three days before he raped Callie... he came into MY room while I was sleeping, and..."

My breath caught in my throat and tears leapt to my eyes as Jude spluttered to a halt, his eyes slightly glazed over.

"No." I whispered brokenly, "He didn't..."

Jude stared ahead blankly.

"Please god, tell me he didn't..."

I waited for his answer.

I hoped, and I prayed to God that he wasn't about to say what I feared he was about to say.

His answer confirmed my worst fears.

"Yeah. He did."

My mind went blank.

The first thing I felt was disbelief. Then I felt sadness, grief, and anguish. Then I felt horror. All those feelings coursed through me during my five second silence, before melting and giving way to something new. Something I had never felt before in my entire life.

Rage. Pure, murderous rage.

I leapt to my feet, whirled around and placed a overpowered punch into the side of the dresser.

"THAT MOTHER FUCKER!" I punctuated every word with another punch.

"CONNOR!" Jude screamed, leaping to his feet and grabbing me.

I turn back to him, and look into his haunted eyes. He's crying softly, and my rage melts in an instant. I pull him into a hug. I held him tight, and I start sobbing into his shoulder.

It's not fucking fair. Jude is the nicest person I know. He doesn't deserve that. How could somebody be so cruel, to do that to somebody as sweet and innocent as Jude? He's been through more in his short thirteen years of life than most adults ever even have to think about going through.

"This Liam guy better hope to God that he never comes face to face with me," I choke through my sobs, "Because if he does, I'm gonna fucking kill him."

"Calm down Connor. This was a long time ago." Jude said, trying to calm me down.

He sounds so calm. After about ten minutes, my sobs calm and my crying ceases.

"How are you so calm about this?" I ask him, my voice hoarse from crying, "He RAPED you Jude."

"And I've had years to get over it." Jude answers, "I hated him for it. I still DO hate him for it. I was just a kid. That bastard is gonna rot in hell for what he did to me and Callie. I wanted him dead for a long time, but I realized that dwelling on it wasn't going to do me any good. It happened. I accepted it and I moved on. I got my closure when they sent him to jail a couple of weeks ago."

"You're a better man than I am." I said to him, "I would have waited till he was asleep the next day and then lit him on fucking FIRE!"

"Connor!" He rebuked, "Keep your voice down, dammit."

"Sorry." I said sheepishly, "I can't help it. I'm pissed. I can't believe you had to go through that."

"It's fine." Jude said, turning around and opening the door.

"It does explain why you can't stand the thought of sex, though."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Well... it means that when the time comes," Jude explains, "And YOU are ready... I don't know if I will be."

"I don't care about that!" I assure him urgently, "I won't be ready for sex for a long time either. We're thirteen, and I've only been out of the closet for ten days, so sex is the last thing EITHER of us should be thinking about. As long as I can still hug you, and as long as I can still give you kisses, I couldn't care less."

We fell into a comfortable silence, sitting next to each other. I stared at my hands, still shocked and a little depressed at what I had just learned. I also couldn't believe nobody came up to check on us after I swore so loud.

"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"I... I love you, Connor."

My head shot up to meet his gaze.

"What... what did you just say?" I stuttered, hoping I hadn't misheard him.

"I said... I said I love you."

I couldn't stop the grin from splitting my face as I wrapped him in a hug. I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"I love you too, JJ." I whisper into his ear. I pull back and I give him a kiss. He responds immediately. It's slow, and sweet.

We spend the next few hours before we go to bed talking, kissing, listening to Guns N' Roses, listening to Jude try to imitate Axl Rose while listening to Guns N' Roses, kissing some more, then shutting the music off and playing Star Wars Commander together. We ended up falling asleep together on the floor, wrapped in Jude's bed sheets.

Before I fell asleep, I made a promise to myself.

I would never let anybody hurt Jude like that again.

Anybody who tried to hurt him, would be sorry they were ever conceived.


	6. Father's Day Part 1

Jude's POV:

A flash of light startled Connor and I awake. I blinked the sleep of out my eyes to see the moms standing there, staring down at us with a camera in hand.

Connor and I groan.

"Really moms?" I whine, "Not cool."

"We were just coming up to wake you guys up, but this was just too cute not to have a picture of." Lena said with a infuriating smirk.

"That, and we needed to talk to Jude about something serious." Stef added.

My heart froze, remembering what I had told Connor yesterday.

"It's about your dad, Jude."

"Oh." I said, breathing a sigh of relief, "What about him?"

"He called earlier." Stef said, "He asked how you and Callie were doing, and if you'd be willing to allow him to visit any time soon."

I thought about it for a moment.

I resent my dad for a lot of things. Getting forced into Foster care and years of hell, for instance...

But I do admit that I miss him.

"Invite him to dinner tonight."

They all looked at me in shock.

"Are... are you sure?" Lena asked.

"Yeah. I'm sure." I said, "It's Father's Day. Connor's dad will be here too. And I want to introduce him to Connor. Plus Callie won't be here, she'll be at Robert's. So I wouldn't have to worry about her reaction to it."

They nodded and left the room, leaving Connor and I to get changed into our day clothes.

"So, what are we gonna do for our date today?"

"Dad's gonna take us out to lunch." Connor responded, "Then later we're gonna come back here and eat dinner."

"Tonight is gonna be interesting." I said, "My dad and your dad both in the same room? How do you think that'll go down?"

"I don't know," Connor said thoughtfully, "I don't think it'll be too bad."

"I hope not."

Once we were both dressed we headed downstairs. We walked into the kitchen to find that Mr. Stevens was already there waiting for us.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" Connor asked, "I thought you weren't gonna be here for about an hour.

"Yeah... I uh, just wanted to talk to Stef and Lena about some stuff." Adam said, before smirking, "Then they come back down here and say they have a picture to show me."

"Oh god." I groan, "REALLY MOMS? Are you trying to get me killed?"

"Calm down kid." Adam said, "I'm not gonna kill you for falling asleep cuddling. I'm not that uptight."

"Uh. Since when?" Connor snarked.

"I was worse with your mother when we met." Adam said, "As long as it doesn't go any further than that, I don't care."

"Um. Yeah *cough* that's not gonna happen anytime soon." Connor said nervously.

Adam looked at us with a cocked eyebrow. I looked down at my hand

"You forget that I was a teenage boy once too. I know how you guys think."

"Yeah, but you weren't raped in foster care though, were you?" I thought to myself.

It only took me a second and a half to realize that everybody had gone silent.

I look up from my hand hesitantly to see Stef, Lena, and Adam all staring at me. They all looked horrified.

"Did I just say that out loud?" I asked.

Adam nodded.

Stef and Lena are at my side directing me to a chair in a split second.

I looked at Connor with pleading eyes, and he immediately move to stand by me. I grabbed his hand and held it tight.

"Who was it Jude?" Stef asked me gently.

I looked at her for a second before sighing.

"Liam. Three days before Callie."

Connor pulls up a chair and sits next to me, pulling me into a side hug.

"How come you never told us?" Lena asked.

"I'm perfectly happy never speaking of it." I answered, "I only told Connor last night because I felt that, as my boyfriend, this was something he deserved to know."

"I've never wanted to kill somebody before." Connor growled venomously, "But if I ever meet him, I will. I'll bash his brains in with my baseball bat, and laugh while I do it!"

"Connor." I growl in warning. He looks at me sheepishly.

"Sorry," He said, "You can't honestly blame me though, can you? He hurt the person I love. The only thing that is stopping me, is that he's already in jail."

"I'll second that statement." Stef said.

"I'll third it." Lena agreed.

"I'd do it anyway." Adam said, "Jesus Christ, kid. I'm surprised you've turned out as well as you did! If I were you, I'd be a serial killer already."

"It's in the past. I don't let it affect me anymore. The bastards in jail. Where he belongs." Jude said, "Just do me one favor, moms."

"Anything." Stef said.

"Whatever you do... do NOT tell Callie." I demand. They nod agreement, "Uhh, anyway where are we going on our date?"

They all look shocked at my sudden change of subject.

"Jude..." Lena started to say,

"I already told Connor the story, I'm not doing it again. I'm fine. The only side affect from it is that I won't be having sex for a LONG time. So just drop it. Please."

Everybody is silent for a few moments, before Adam breaks the silence.

"I'm, uh, taking you both to this restaurant downtown for lunch. I'm gonna eat too, but I'm gonna sit at a different table. Then afterwards we're coming back here for dinner. I understand your dad's gonna be here, Jude?"

"Yeah. He is, so at least tonight'll be interesting." I respond.

"Well are you ready?" Connor asks me.

I nod.

"You guys wanna go now?" Adam asked. We nod, "Alright then."

We head out to Adam's truck. As soon as we get in and he starts it, the radio turns on and a recognizable song starts playing.

"Hey, Paradise City." I point out enthusiastically.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Adam's head swivel to look at me.

"YOU know Guns N' Roses?" He asks, his voice disbelieving.

"It's a recent obsession." I tell him, "My brothers got me hooked."

"Your boyfriend has good taste in music, Connor." Adam said approvingly.

"Told you he'd like that." Connor whispered in my ear.

Two Hours Later:

We were sitting side by side in a booth. I was leaning into Connor's side, eating a dish that I couldn't pronounce the name of, while Connor ate lasagna. Adam had went up to the bar and was eating there to give us some privacy. The restaurant was one that served solely Italian food, and so far I was impressed. The food was delicious, and the atmosphere was gorgeous.

"This place has really good food." I stated.

"No kidding. Try some of this lasagna." Connor mumbled around a mouthful of said dish, holding out a bit on his fork for me to try. I open my mouth, and he rolls his eyes before sticking the fork in my mouth.

"You're a dork." He says teasingly.

"Yeah, but you love it."

"Yeah. I do." He says, before leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

I hear somebody make a noise of disgust. I turn slightly to the side, and out of the corner of my eye I see a couple staring at us, their lips curled in disgust.

"Should I say something?" Connor asks me.

"You want to?" I ask in return, "I wouldn't mind doing it. I'm feeling sassy anyway."

"Dinner AND a show? You sure know how to treat a guy." He responds, "The day isn't complete if I don't get to hear you get sassy with somebody. You're hot when you're tearing somebody to shreds."

The funny thing is that he's being completely serious. I flick him on the ear, before kissing him again.

Another noise of disgust.

I decide to grant Connor's wish and. whip around and glare at them.

"Can I help you?" I say venomously.

"Yeah," The man sneered, "You could not do that sick shit in public."

"SO rude." I chastised condescendingly, "I'm sorry, I was under the mistaken impression that you were human beings with the capability of using rational thought, my mistake. SO I'll allow my boyfriend here to put it into simpler terms. Connor, if you will?"

"You can go fuck yourself." Connor said simply.

"Nobody wants to see a couple of fags frenching in public." The woman spat, her nose curled.

Connor snorted, and decided to comment on that.

"Yet you two are the only ones complaining about it." Connor pointed out, "And has anybody ever told you that you look like somebody just stuck shit under your nose, the look you have on your face right now."

In my peripheral vision I could see Adam approaching from behind them.

"Somebody should teach you some manners, you nasty little queer!" The man snarled.

"And who's gonna do it?" I scoff, "You? I didn't know they could teach swine to walk and speak, let alone that they could reach a level of intelligence to teach anything. Besides rolling around in their own shit, that is."

The man rose to advance on us, but Adam reached him first.

"I think you two had better leave before I throw you through that window for threatening my son." He growled in his ear.

The man looked like he was going to defecate in his suit pants.

The woman was too stupid to keep quiet.

"One of these fags is your son?" She sat in disgust.

"Uh oh." Connor whispered to me, "She's done it now."

"Yep." Adam answered with a mocking smile, "The one with the muscles wearing the flannel. Do you know what's gonna happen to you if you call him a fag again?"

He leaned in to whisper in her ear.

Except he didn't whisper... He screamed.

"I'M GOING TO DISEMBOWL YOU WITH THE FORK YOU'RE EATING WITH!" He screamed. Before standing up straight to greet the man that was hurrying towards us.

"Is there a problem here sir?" The man asked

"Are you the owner?" Adam asked.

"Yes sir, I am." The owner said.

"Then yes sir, there most certainly is problem. My son and his boyfriend," Adam said politely, pointing to us, "Are having their first date today, and these two imbeciles had to insult them with homophobic remarks, proving that some people truly have no manners, and also providing proof beyond a question or shadow of a doubt the evolution CAN in fact go backwards."

The owner blinked, before turning to the couple with a glare.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He said, "Your kind isn't welcome here."

"Fine," The woman spat, "With the kind of filth that dines here..."

"The only filth I see is you madam." The owner said coldly, "Now leave, before I have my HUSBAND remove you from the premises."

The couple quickly scurried away. The owner turned back to us.

"Terribly sorry about that boys." The owner said, "Your three meals are on the house."

"Really?" I ask, not expecting that.

"Yeah. You're a cute couple. I wish I had the courage to be out when I was your age." He said with a kind smile, "Keep it up boys."

He nodded to Adam, before turning around and walking back to the front counter.

The rest of the date went off without a hitch. Before we knew it, we were pulling back up in the driveway of my house, our stomachs full, and the intent to return to that restaurant in the future. We all hop out of the truck and walk toward the front door.

"Well that was entertaining." Adam said as he we all approach the door, "Why don't you head on in Connor, I wanna talk to Jude for a minute."

Connor looks at his dad suspiciously before nodding and walking slowly to the front door. Once the door closed behind him, Adam turned to me. He stared at me for a minute in silence. He gave me a small smile and sat down on the front step. He patted the spot next to him, and I sat down next to him.

"Ever since Connor came out to me," He said, "I've been thinking."

I look at him questioningly.

"One of my biggest worries when you decided to be b-boyfriends, was that you or Connor would get hurt. But for what it's worth, that's not really a worry anymore. It's good to know, that if my son is gonna date another boy, it's somebody who can give as good as they get."

I smile at him a little.

"Thanks Mr. Stevens." I said quietly.

"And truthfully, I AM glad it's you, and not some random punk." He confessed.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah, kid." He said, "I know that you'll be good to him. I know that you'll keep each other safe."

I grin at him.

"Thanks." I said, "That means a lot."

"Don't mention it." He said, "Now let's go inside before Connor starts to think I've murdered you or something stupid like that."

I snort, and we both stand and open the door and head inside.

There was still a couple of hours until dinner, so Connor, Brandon, Jesus, Adam and I gathered up the poker chips and the deck of cards and sat down at the dining room table. I'm good at poker, something that drives my competitive brothers insane. The only reason I'm so good is because I can bluff like a professional.

Two hours later, after winning almost every single hand, they finally surrender to my superior bluffing skills. Then we hear a knock on the door. Lena, who had been watching my domination, rushed to open the door. She returned a few seconds later, followed by a guest.

For the first time in almost seven months, I laid eyes on my father.


	7. Father's Day Part 2

Connor's POV:

I don't think I've ever seen Jude look so nervous as he does now, standing face to face with his father for the first time in months.

"Hey Jude," Donald said, approaching the table slowly, "Wow. You've gotten so big."

"Yeah." Jude said hesitantly, "I'm almost taller than you."

Donald smiled.

"It's good to see you kiddo." He said.

Jude smiled. It was small, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"Yeah. Likewise." Jude said, "How have you been doing?"

"Good. Really good actually." Donald answered, "I've got a steady job. Better apartment. Completely sober. I'm doing better than I've done in years."

"That's good to hear, Donald." Stef interjects.

Jude's dad turns back to us, and he catches sight of me.

"Okay, I've met the others, but you I have absolutely no memory of meeting." He said.

I get up and approach him, holding out a hand for him to shake which he accepts.

"Connor, sir. Connor Stevens." I said, "It's nice to meet you."

We spent the rest of the time until dinner in the living room. Jude's dad and my dad immediately struck up conversation. The talked about cars, sports, and other stereotypical manly things, while Jude and I cuddled up on the couch and watched a movie with Jesus and Brandon.

Mariana arrived about ten minutes before dinner. When Stef announced that dinner was served, we all took our places at the big table in the dining room. She made pork roast.

We make small talk for about ten minutes, telling each other about our days. Jude and I stay silent, until Donald turns to us.

"So, Jude." Donald asks, "You dating anybody yet?"

Jude immediately looks uncomfortable.

"Um. Yeah. I am."

"Good for you, kiddo. Who?"

"Um. I'm uh, dating Connor actually." Jude said hesitantly.

Donald looks between us, a shocked look on his face.

"Wait, so... you're gay, Jude?" Donald asked confused.

Jude bristled at being called gay. Sensing a potential fight brewing, I intervene.

"Jude doesn't use labels." I explain, "He thinks they're idiotic. He hates them. He doesn't get why people go around putting each other in boxes."

Donald looks at Jude for a second, before offering him a small smile.

"If I HAD to put a label on it, I would say I'm queer." Jude said testily, "It means that I don't identify as gay, straight or bi."

"You really are just like your mom." He said, "She was the same way with labels. And I'm happy for you, bud. It looks like you managed to snag a good one. How long have you been dating?"

"About ten days." I reply, "But I've had a crush on him since before he was adopted. It just took me a while to stop being an idiot."

"Connor..." Jude interrupts warningly, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop sweating that?"

"Ha. Yes dear." I snarked playfully.

"Oh my god, you two are too cute." Mariana interrupts, "Oh! That reminds me, how was your guys' date today?"

Jude and my dad both snort at the same time.

"It was eventful." Jude said.

"We were there for two hours and some old couple sat down at the table next to us. They took offense when Jude gave me a kiss. The said something to us, and we started a game of verbal hack and slash." I explain.

"Destroyed them. Ended up getting them thrown out of the restaurant by the owner." Jude continued.

"The owner threatened to have his husband throw them bodily from the restaurant if they refused to leave. Ended up giving us all three of our meals for free." Adam finished, "We will definitely be going back there."

Just as he finished speaking, Stef's phone let out an text alert. She picked it up, and her face paled.

"Crap." Stef said, looking down at her phone.

"What is it mom?" Brandon asked as Jude took a drink.

"Callie is on her way home." She answered, "Right now. She'll be here in ten minutes."

Jude's eyes widened. Dad noticed this, and pulled Jude's dad out of the way just in time to avoid being covered in the drink Jude had just been drinking.

"Crap is right." Jesus muttered under his breath. Brandon massaged his temples with his right hand, trying to fend off a migraine.

"Um, maybe I should go." Donald said.

"No." Jude said, "I invited you here, so you're staying. Callie can deal with it."

We all sat in silence and nervous anticipation until we heard the front door open with a bang. Callie came stomping in, a look of extreme displeasure on her face. She walked up to the fridge and opened it, extracting a can of Sprite from its depths. She marched towards the cupboard, and removed a plate, before fetching a fork and spoon from the silverware drawer. She plopped down in the only empty chair and helped herself to a large piece of pork, which she proceed to eviscerate into tiny pieces which she then salted. Only then did she notice Donald and my dad sitting at the table as well.

She stared at Donald in surprise.

"Donald. What... what are you doing here?"

"He called asking how we were," Jude explained, "And it's Father's Day, so I invited him. You don't have a problem with that, do you Callie?"

Jude's tone of voice left no room for disagreement. She picked up her can of Sprite, opened it, and took a drink. She drained the can, but didn't put it back down on the table.

"No. It's actually good to see him." She said.

"What's up with you?" Brandon asked, "I thought you were having dinner at Robert's?"

She crushed the can in her fist.

"I had to get out of there. If I didn't leave, I swear to god I would have killed him and Sophia."

"Why what happened?" I asked.

"We were sitting down to dinner, and Robert asked me how everybody was doing. I brought up you two." Callie said, pointing to Jude and I, "Sophia loses it. Starts ranting about it! Throwing around every homophobic word and insult that I knew existed, plus a few that I didn't. So I got up, punched her in the middle of the face and left. Robert just sat there. Didn't say a single word, didn't lift a single finger to stop her."

"Callie." Jude said, "Thanks. For defending me and Connor."

"Always."

"Not just today, but on his first day back as well." Jude said.

"What happened the first day back?" Dad asked.

"We had a, uh, small disagreement with Jeremy." Jude said.

"More than a small disagreement." Jesus snarked. Jude smirked.

"He called me a fag," He explained, a wicked smirk splitting his face, "So Connor punched him..."

"...And Jude kicked him in the nuts at the same time." I continued, "...And I'll say now, exactly what I said when it happened. He's lucky I didn't use my cane..."

"...Then he threatened us, and then Callie, Mariana, and Jesus showed up..." Jude added.

As Jude and I kept up our verbal trade off, I vaguely realized that my dad was literally about to fall out of his chair because he was laughing so hard.

"...Callie threatened to take a baseball bat to him..." I continued.

"...Jesus said he'd break both of his knees, and that he'd have Brandon tie him up with piano wire and torture him mercilessly..." Jude continued, just barely able to restrain himself from joining my dad, who had just toppled sideways out of his chair in hysterics.

"...Finally, Mariana threatened to knock him out and throw him off a cliff. He ran away like the hounds of hell were on his heels." I finished.

Jude's dad was biting his fist trying not to laugh. Jesus, Brandon, Mariana and Callie all had proud smirks on their faces.

We turned to Lena, expecting her to be angry. She rubbed her ears.

"You know? It's the strangest thing, I just went deaf for some reason, and I completely missed all of that."

She turned to us and winked. Jude and I grinned. Stef shook her head in exasperation. My dad calmed himself down enough to clamber back into his chair, clutching the stitch in his side.

"Oh... god... I haven't, laughed that hard... since college..." He panted, regaining his breath, "Gotta give it to you guys. You got style. Glad Connor's dating somebody who has the stones to deal with that kind of crap."

Dinner ends in comfortable conversation about random things. Jude and I recount the story of how we became boyfriends to Jude's dad, and Jude tells his dad about our other friends.

Soon enough it's time for Jude's dad to leave. As he gets up to leave he turns to Jude and I.

"Can I talk to you two real quick before I go?" He asks.

Jude and I nod and follow him to the door. We step out onto the porch, and he turns to us. He looks at me first.

"I uh. I just wanted to say thank you Connor." He said, "You've been a good friend to my son, I can see that. I can see that he's happy with you, and I can see that you'll take care of him. I can see that you really love him, and I'm forever grateful for that."

"Thank you sir." I said, feeling kind of touched.

He turns to Jude, who's looking kind of teary eyed.

"I'm so glad you're happy here Jude," He tells him, "And I'm glad you found Connor. I can tell he's a good boy. You take care of each other, you hear?"

Jude nods, and a tear falls down his cheek.

"And I'm glad you have such a loving family." Donald continued, "They gave you the family you deserved, the one that I couldn't give you."

"Can... can I give you a hug?" Jude asks.

Donald laughs, and opens arms and nods. Jude steps into his father's embrace.

"That's the same thing you said the last time you saw me." Donald said, "You never need to ask. If you ever need to talk, or ever need help, let me know, and I'll do my best."

"I will." Jude said as he pulled out of the embrace.

Donald nodded to us both.

"Until next time. Bye Connor, bye Jude." He said.

I nodded in farewell. He turned around and started to walk to the taxi waiting for him at the curb. He made it halfway to the curb before Jude responded.

"Bye Dad." Jude said.

Donald turned back, and offered a teary smile.

"Bye Son."

He got in the cab.

Jude wrapped his arm around my waist, and we watched the cab pull away, and disappear down the road.

Jude turned into my embrace and let the tears fall, but for once they weren't tears of sadness, or anger, or grief.

They were tears of happiness, and joy.


	8. Paintball Battle Royale

Connor's POV:

I have never had as much fun, as I am having this weekend.

After a whole four solid days of begging, Taylor had convinced the entire "Mafia" to accompany her on a paintball outing for the entire weekend.

I was a bit cautious at first. Well, okay, more than a bit cautious. More like downright adamant in my opposition. Nobody can really blame me for being weary of any kind of gun given the fact that less than a month ago one of the damned things nearly blew my left foot off.

In the end, everybody else wanted to go, and Jude guilt tripped me into coming along with his infamous sad face.

Now that I am here, however, I cannot believe I had put up such a fight.

It was twenty minutes into the fifth battle of what could only be described as a war, and the hunt for our enemies was well underway. The whole of the "Mafia" was currently scrambling around a forest, hours outside of San Diego. It was Jude, me, Daria, Taylor, Jax, Austin, Taylor's dad, Mariana and Callie, against Carson, Jesus, Brandon, Alex, Castor, Wynston, Ritchie, my dad and Colin.

We had split into three groups of three. Taylor and I had been switching back and forth on leading our side, and she had chosen Jude as our team mate. Taylor's dad was coordinating with Jax and Daria, acting as snipers. They had even brought gillie suits for the hell of it. Austin, Callie and Mariana comprised the final group.

We were going up against my dad, who was leading our enemies into ferocious battle.

I will admit that going into this, I was skeptical about being able to beat him and the others...

...Until I saw Taylor in action.

I have a newfound very healthy respect, and fear, of Taylor Newsome, and now I know why Daria sometimes calls her "Secret Agent Taylor".

She showed up with her dad, dressed in camouflage fatigues, donning a metal helmet with a small camera attached (to record the fun) and goggles, with a paintball pistol on each hip, and a paintball rifle on her back. I remembered her saying she took it too seriously, but I didn't realize just how ridiculously. Even my dad wasn't taking it this seriously. Well, he almost was, but not completely.

Before the start of the first battle, she popped open the back of the SUV to display what could be describes as an armory, and told as to take our pick. I thought my dad's collection was impressive, but this was awe inspiring, as well as a little frightening. Paintball guns in twelve varieties, boxes full of paintballs, and ammo belts and reload cylinders. It's the first time I've ever heard Jude cackle, which he did as he picked up a fully automatic paintball gun, and an ammo belt with seven reload cylinders full of ammo, and five paintball grenades.

I may have had a small crisis down south at the sight of him decked out in kit, as well as REAL war paint in addition to his usual war paint.

What? I'm fourteen. I'm allowed to look.

Anyway, afterwards, she explained to us the plan for the first battle. She handed each team leader a walkie talkie and explained proper radio procedure to us. Afterwards, the battle began.

We were in the beginning of our fifth battle of a weekend long trip, and we were tied at two apiece. Taylor and I each had a victory and a loss under our belts, each winning our first battles, and losing our second. My dad's team had claimed an extremely narrow victory in the last two battles, which had Taylor and I cussing up a storm as she ordered a retreat of our forces.

My dad and his team had already fled into the woods and hid. Taylor, Jude and I were crouched in a small wooded bunker on top of a steep hill that overlooked a river with a small wooden bridge.

I was commanding this time.

"Team Two, reporting in. Sector One is cleared. I repeat, Sector One is clear. Do you read?" Austin's voice crackled over the radio.

"This is General Stevens, I read you loud and clear. Keep an eye out. My dad is actually posing a challenge." I barked into the radio, standing at the small window at the front of the bunker. Our team, Team One, stayed in the command post with me, to both guard me and act as my command council.

"With all due respect, Connor. You, Taylor and Jude would probably be pissed off at him if he didn't do that." Austin returned. Taylor smirked at us, and we returned the smirk.

"Command, this is Team Sniper, we've finished our sweep of Sector Two. Moving on towards Sector Seven, requesting backup to move in to assist in sweep. We'll need more men to cover the forest." Jax reported.

"Team Two, this is General Stevens. Proceed to Sector Seven and assist Team Sniper in clearing the forest. Team Sniper, split up and proceed with Operation Huntdown." I ordered.

Ten minutes past, a tense silence blanketing the bunker.

"Team Sniper, calling headquarters, we are in pursuit of two suspects, they are headed straight for you."

"Team Sniper, let us take care of it." Taylor said.

We looked out of the small window and saw Brandon and Jesus scurrying up the hill towards us. Paintballs splattered against the walls of the bunker. Taylor and Jude grabbed one of the paintball grenades each and chucked them down the hill.

We were rewarded with a large bout of obscenities from our two approaching enemies as they were eliminated from the game.

"Two down, seven to go." I said into the radio.

"Captain, this is Sniper One, reporting in." Jax's voice crackled

"Read you loud and clear Sniper One, whaddya got for me?" I asked.

"Multiple instances of movement in the tall grass in the forest." Jax reported, "Advise Team Two that the enemy might be wearing ghillie suites, so exercise caution."

"Affirmative Sniper One. Team Two, exercise caution when clearing Sector Seven, they may be wearing ghillie suites so watch yourselves." I said.

"Headquarters, this is Team Two we see three enemies approaching from the southwest. Permission to engage."

"Permission to engage granted."

A short silence followed.

"Headquarters, this is Team Two. Enemies eliminated. Zero friendly casualties." Callie's voice answered.

"Five down, four to go." I muttered.

Over the next ten minutes, the members of Team Sniper reported in regularly. It was after about ten minutes of silence from Team Two that Jude started to get antsy.

"Team Two isn't reporting in like they usually do." He pointed out. I nodded in agreement.

"Snipers, this is Command. Have you reached Sector Seven yet?" I asked.

"Negative." Daria answered.

"Nope." Jax responded.

"No sir." Taylor's dad answered

"Good, find cover and stay there to await further orders." Jude said. "Team Two isn't reporting in."

"All units, this is the command post. Radio check, I repeat. Radio check." I said into my mike.

"Command post this is Team Sniper, radio check."

There was no answer from Team Two.

"Command post to Team Sniper, has anybody seen Team Two since they moved into their current Sector?" Jude asked as I took a minute to think.

"Command post this is Team Two, or what's left of it." Callie's voice sounded over the mike.

"Team Two this is command. How many of you are left?" I asked.

"Just me Connor. We were ambushed near that wooden gazebo near the fence. I counted the remaining four of them." Callie responded. Jude and Taylor looked to me and I nodded at them.

"Oh shit. Attention All Units, most of Team Two is down. Only Callie escaped. Withdraw to the secondary command post at the Bridge. I repeat, withdraw. We will rendezvous with you there. I do not want anybody except Sniper One going into Sectors Seven until we get there. Sniper One take up position in the lookout post in the trees at the far South Corner. Snipers Two and Three, meet us at the wooden bridge. Callie, meet is there too. Over and out."

I turned back to the table and picked up my gun and my belt and put it on.

"Team One on me. Double time it."

We ran down the hill to the bridge as fast as we could. The others arrived in a matter of minutes. find most of the others waiting for us. The only ones missing were the lost members of Team Two, who had proceeded to the cabin which we had designated as the "Dead Zone".

"Callie, you're with me. You said you were ambushed." I said.

"Yes General. They dispatched the rest of my team and then fled back into Sector Seven. Half of them were wearing ghillie suites. We never saw it coming." Callie responded. I smirked.

"The enemy is hiding in the woods like cowards." Jude joked.

"Alright everybody listen up! We're gonna ambush these sonsabitches. We're gonna hide under the bridge and wait for them to cross, and when they do, we're gonna mow 'em down."

As soon as everybody else was in position, I radioed the Snipers.

"Sniper One as soon as you have any visual on the enemy, you have permission to fire. Scatter them, and push them toward us. We will be waiting for them." I radioed to the snipers.

"This is Sniper One, I copy General Stevens, with pleasure."

We settled in to wait. We waited for about a half hour, with the snipers reporting in every five minutes. Suddenly Jax's voice screamed to life over the radio.

"Command, this is Sniper One opening fire on lead perp in ghillie suite. I think it's Mr. Stevens. They're scattering, General. They're heading straight for ya."

"Wait for my signal. When I give the signal, you open fire with everything you've got. I don't want to see a single perp left alive. I don't care if they ARE trying to surrender. Show absolutely NO MERCY." I barked the orders at them.

I crouched down under the bridge with the rest of my forces and waited. We could hear their cautious footsteps on the bridge above us.

"Wait for it."

They got closer...

"Wait for it."

And closer...

"Wait for it."

Until finally...

"KILO TANGO MIKE FOXTROT!" I screamed into the mike as they finished crossing the bridge.

I smirked as I said it. It was group code for 'kill those mother fuckers'.

All units rose as one and opened fire, effectively ambushing the enemy. They all dropped like flies. Colin tried to run, but he didn't last long. Ritchie tried to dive behind cover, but he lasted even less. I smirked as my dad fell to the ground with paint splattered over the visor of his helmet, courtesy of a shot from Jude.

Raucous cheers surged from the group in celebration of our victory. Taylor started laughing and fired her paintball gun into the air for a few seconds.

My dad walked up to me out of breath.

"Nice one, son." He told me.

"It's good that you're putting up a challenge. I actually learn from our matches. I think if anybody else was leading them, they would be slaughtered in the first five minutes."

Victory was ours.


	9. Paralyzed

Connor's POV:

Jude and I were sitting at lunch with Austin, Colin, Ritchie and Wynston when it happened.

I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Jax and Daria were nowhere to be found. I had sent texts to both of them the night before asking how their date had gone, and more recently asking where they were. No answer from either.

Jax always answered my texts, no matter what he was doing, and I felt on edge, as if something was horribly wrong.

It didn't help that Jude and Ritchie were arguing again, about something stupid.

They were arguing about a couple of bands that they liked.

"Okay, JJ, now I know you're crazy." Ritchie said, "There is no way that Guns N' Roses is better than Led Zeppelin."

"Oh come on!" Jude returned, "GN'R is totally superior! They're dirtier, and the music is a lot heavier!"

"Yeah, but Zeppelin laid the foundation that GN'R's music is built on! They set the template for every hard rock and heavy metal band that followed." Ritchie argued, "Without Zeppelin, GN'R or any other band like them wouldn't exist."

"So they're better because they're the original model?" Jude asked sarcastically, "That's like saying that the Model T is better than a Ford GT, because it set the template."

"Oh for god's sake," I muttered, "Will you both please shut up?"

They turned to look at me.

"What's up with you?" My boyfriend asked, concerned.

"Jax and Daria aren't here." I said, "That's not normal. They never miss school."

"They're probably making out in the supply closet again." Ritchie suggested nonchalantly.

As if sent by god to disprove that theory, Lena approached the table, a grim look on her face.

"Well fuck. That can't be good." Austin whispered from where he sat against the trunk of the tree our table sat under. Colin nudged him in the side with his foot and shook his head.

"Hush."

Lena approached us, and then I could see tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to fall.

"I need you all to come with me. It's important."

The six of us rose as one, and followed her to her office. She ushered us inside and shut the door. We all sat down and she sat behind her desk, where she began messaging the bridge of her nose.

"As you all may have noticed, your friends Jackson and Daria are absent today." She started, "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

My heart fell into my stomach.

"What happened?"

"There was an accident last night." She continued, "They were walking home to Jackson's house from their date at the movie theater, and they..."

She paused and looked at me.

"They went to cross the street." Lena continued sadly, "A car came out of nowhere. Jax pushed Daria back onto the sidewalk. But he didn't get out of the way in time. The driver never even stopped."

"How bad is it?" I asked quietly, trying to reign in my emotions.

"They're both alive, but Jax is in a coma. He can still breathe on his own, but the doctors are saying that even if Jax wakes up, their is only a 30% chance he'll ever walk again. It is possible, so don't give up hope."

My heart shattered.

I leapt from my seat and bolted out of the door, completely unaware of the panicked shouts that I had left behind calling out to me.

I ran.

I kept running until I was a mile down the beach. When I reached the end of my trek, I collapsed into the sand. I dug my hands into the sand, reared my head back and screamed as I released my emotions.

The scream was blood curdling, high pitched, and anguished as some of my best memories of my friendship with Jax flashed forward to the forefront of my mind.

My mind flashed back to when Jax and I first met when we were on the little league team together in third grade, back when I was still new at this school. We had taken a break from practice, and Jax had offered to share his animal crackers with me when he noticed that I hadn't thought to bring a snack of my own.

My mind flashed to when he introduced me to Alex, Carson and Castor, declaring that I was "a cool dude", and should hang out with them sometime.

My mind flashed to when he held me and comforted me as I cried when my parents got divorced, then to his instant acceptance and unwavering support of my sexuality and relationship with Jude in the face of the naysayers of the school's population.

My best friend. My brother in all but blood. The one person in the world that I was anywhere near as close to as I was to Jude.

Paralyzed, unlikely to walk again.

In a coma, potentially dying.

I felt arms wrap around me, and I turn to see Jude kneeling next to me, his face flushed from tears of his own.

I latched myself onto him and we both sobbed into each other's shoulders. Four other hands clamped on my shoulder, and I looked around to see Colin, Ritchie, Wynston and Austin all kneeling around me, sympathy radiating from their gentle gazes as I absolutely lost my mind with grief in front of them.

"Lena excused us for the rest of the day." Jude said through his tears, "She called your dad. He's on his way to pick us up and take us up there to see him."

"I-I-I don't k-k-know if I c-can stand to s-see him like t-that." I choked, trying not to hyperventilate.

"We'll be right next to you, Connor." Ritchie assured, "You won't be alone. This is gonna be hard on all of us."

"Jax is too good of a guy for this to happen to him," Wynston said, "He went out of his way to make us feel welcome when we first joined your guys' little group."

I tuned out their assurances. My whole being was numb. I hardly registered anything as my dad arrive, nor on the drive to the hospital. I only snapped out of it when we pulled into the parking lot.

We met his parents in the lobby, and they took us up to see him.

They told us what room he was in, and they told me to go first.

I gasped at the state of him.

This had to be some kind of nightmare or something. This couldn't really be happening. I kicked the wall hard with my bad foot, and my heart sunk again when I didn't find myself jolting awake in my bed, instead clutching my foot in pain.

Slowly, I entered the room and approached his bedside. I pulled a chair up close to the bedside, and wrapped my right hand around his.

"I know you probably can't hear me right now," I stuttered, "And I know... that you already know, but... I just wanted to say that... you mean a lot to me Jax. You were my first friend when I first moved here back in third grade. You treated me like one of the guys, even though you'd never met me before. You became my brother. My confidant. You're the best friend a guy could have, Jaxxy."

I could almost imagine him rolling his eyes at the nickname I had given him when we were little. I rarely used it anymore, except when we were engaged in a deep conversation, but now seemed like the right time.

"The doctors, they said that you might not wake up." I choked out, "And if you do, it could be in five minutes, or it could be five years. Y-you have to w-w-wake up, b-b-brother. You have to! I C-CAN'T LIVE W-W-WITHOUT MY B-B-BROTHER!"

I collapsed forward onto the bed, my shoulders heaving with wracking sobs.

"P-p-p-please Jaxxy." I begged, "Please w-wake up."

I sat there in that position for ten minutes, sobbing as hard as I could. I heard the door open behind me, and Jude appeared at my side.

Jude wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and held me as I sobbed, still clinging to the hand of my fallen best friend.

After an hour and a half, I couldn't stand it anymore. Slowly and shakily, Jude and I stood from our chairs.

"I, uh. I gotta go."

I take two steps towards the door, still clinging to Jude as if I would die if separated from his touch.

"I just want you to know that I love you, brother." I said shakily, "I know you already know that, but I felt like I should say it. G-goodbye bro."

I made it to the door and stepped out into the hallway when I heard it.

"I Lu' you too brudder."

I whipped around.

Please god, don't let me have imagined that.

I rushed back to his side.

"Jaxxy?" I asked frantically, my voice raised, "Can you hear me?"

I grabbed his hand and held it in my hand again. Two seconds passed, I felt a soft squeeze of pressure on my hand, and a mumbled response was returned.

"Sto' shoutin'."

"Can you open your eyes for me?" I plead.

'Please god?' I plead mentally, 'Give me this. Don't let me be imagining it. Please, just give me this one thing.'

His eyebrows furrowed, and slowly, impossibly slowly, his eye lids lifted, and I met his emerald green gaze.

My heart jumped and I couldn't help but releasing the hysterical sob of laughter that bubbled up from inside me.

"NURSE!" I screamed, "NURSE, DOCTOR, SOMEBODY?"

A doctor rushed in immediately.

"What's happening?"

"He-he-he's waking up! His eyes are open." I almost shout back, happy tears replacing my earlier ones spawned by grief.

"Step back son." The doctor said, stepping forward, "Do you know who you are?"

"J-j-Jackson." He ground out slowly, "J-J-Jackson R-Russell F-F-Finnegan."

I whipped around and grabbed Jude in an embrace, lifting him off of his feet, both of us weeping in happiness and relief.

Jax was awake.


	10. Vacation Begins

Connor's POV:

Summer vacation had finally arrived, and it was basically gonna be just Jude and I, because most of the others in the "Mafia" were leaving town. The school years at Anchor Beach are longer than other schools, so summer vacation was only four weeks instead of a normal almost two months. Jude and I asked Lena about this once, and she couldn't really give us a definitive answer as to why, so we just resigned ourselves to grumbling about it in private.

Daria was going to be accompanying Jax with his family to Spain for the first three weeks of the summer vacation. It was the first time Jax would leave the country in his wheelchair. He was terrified and a bit depressed at his condition, understandably, but we all agreed that a change of scenery might do him a little bit of good. I was really worried about him. His level of depression as of late has begun to scare me. If I didn't know better I'd probably be afraid he'd try to do something stupid. Daria has been a real help though. She is his saving grace. She doesn't treat him differently because of his inability to move his legs. She honestly loves him, and I thank god that they have each other. She, Jude and I are the only ones who can get him to smile anymore. She's the only one who can do it easily.

Ritchie and Wynston planned to spend the summer together. It was the first summer they would spend together as a couple. They planned to go out on as many dates as they possibly could, since they hadn't actually been on one yet. Jude and I were shocked at this, since they had been dating for over a month and hadn't actually been on a proper date yet.

Taylor and Castor were gonna spend most of the summer at war. Castor had convinced his family to accompany Taylor and her whole family on a paintball trip in the forest where we had battled. According to Castor, Taylor's grandfather was a Vietnam veteran who took great pleasure in the sport, despite almost being in his seventies. His word in the family was law, and he was forcing the entire family to go. Castor had spent the whole proceeding week begging his parents to cave in. From what I've heard, his dad, James, was the only one looking forward to it.

Alex and Carson were going to visit their grandparents in Florida for the duration of the vacation. They wouldn't reveal much about their plans, but they did tell us that there would be sun, swimming, tackle football, and much ogling and attempted conquest of the woman folk of Orlando. They told us all this in their usual fashion. Smirking, while finishing each others' sentences. It was greeted by our usual reactions. Copious rolling of our eyes.

Colin and Austin's families were doing what they usually did during summer vacations. They were going camping for the first week, and then they were gonna go to New York City for the second week, before coming back to San Diego and having a family barbeque for the 4th of July, which Jude and I are both invited to.

Jude and I were celebrating the beginning of vacation by engaging in our favorite activity.

Cuddling on the couch and talking when nobody else is around. I looked down to where Jude's head was resting on my chest, his eyes relaxed. He looked up at me and smiled, sending a shiver through my body. I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

"I still get a thrill from this, you know?" I tell him, "Being able to do this with you. Just over two months ago, the idea of us doing this openly would have been laughable."

"You've come a long way." Jude agrees, "Even if you do still blame yourself for things that happened before."

I winced slightly, knowing what he was referring to. He has told me more times than I can count that I have been forgiven for my transgressions pre-gunshot wound, but I still can't help but feel a deep pang of guilt whenever the topic comes up. I look back down at Jude to find him staring at me, exasperation on his face.

I shook my head clear of its train of thought and offered him a small smile, which carried a hidden request to change the topic.

"How do you think Jax is doing?"

I sigh.

"Well, that depends on who you ask." I said, "If you ask him, he'll say he's fine given the circumstances. But I can tell he's depressed."

"How's he handling being depressed?" Jude asked.

"He's always liked writing and music," I answer, "He's actually a pretty decent poet. I've read some of his stuff before. If he published it someday, he could make a lot of money with it. Some of his poems are lyric worthy, and he knows how to play his guitar well enough. Usually, if he starts feeling really bad, he'll grab his guitar and play it for a while. Last time I saw him do it, he played the main riff to the song 'Layla' by Derek and the Dominos for a half hour, before he went back to his writing. When Daria is around, he even has some of his old sense of humor back. I miss that. Don't think he'll ever get all the way back to normal."

"S'understandable that he's different." Jude said, "I mean, he WAS hit be a fricken car. It's a miracle he's not still in a coma."

"I still can't believe he woke up while we were there." I said, "That was a miracle in itself."

"Almost like magic." Jude said.

"Wouldn't that be cool?" I ask, "If we could do magic?"

Jude nods his agreement.

"I'd rather use the Force. Or have a real lightsaber." He said, "Be a Jedi instead."

"True. I would probably jump you if you could do that." I joke, wagging my eyebrows suggestively.

"That's because you have a Star Wars fetish, though." He snarks back lovingly.

"What? You'd look hot in Jedi robes, and you know it." I returned.

"Maybe this Halloween then, if you behave." He teased.

I laughed, hard. It was only a couple of seconds before he joined in. After our laughter had calmed, I leaned down and captured his lips with mine. We stayed like that for about ten minutes, before he breaks away and smiles at me. He lays his head back down on my chest and lets out a content sigh.

"Oh yeah, you never did tell my why your dad needed you to stay here tonight." Jude said.

"He and my mom were getting together for dinner." I said.

"I thought they couldn't stand each other?" Jude asked confused.

"Before I came out, and dad started accepting it, they couldn't. But he and my mom have been talking a lot lately." I said happily. "They're getting along better. They haven't fought once since dad and I stayed for the Father's Day dinner at your place. They act like they're friends again. I know it's a long shot, but I'm actually holding out hope that they might get back together."

"That's great, Connor." Jude said enthusiastically.

"Yeah. It'd be great to have my family complete again," I said in agreement, "Have you spoken to your dad since Father's Day?"

"Yeah. He's taken me for ice cream a couple of times since then." Jude answers, "He likes you, by the way."

"He does?"

"Yep." Jude said with a nod, "He told me he was glad I found somebody so early in life. He says we look at each other the same way he and my mom used to look at each other."

"Really?" I ask him. He nods.

I should be shocked at that, but I'm really not. I'm well aware of the way I look at Jude, as if he's god's gift to man. In my eyes, he deserves for me to look at him that way, so I do.

"Want to go to the beach tomorrow?" I ask him out of nowhere, "It's supposed to be sunny tomorrow. I'll buy you ice cream while we're there, maybe go to the pier and eat lunch, maybe stay and watch the sunset."

"Beach date sounds good." Jude said, nodding, "We haven't really been on a real second date yet, unless you count all our sleepovers as dates, which I don't. Besides, beach dates are romantic."

"I try my best, JJ." I said, smiling at him.


	11. Trigger

Jude's POV:

It's said that everybody has bad days, some more often and worse than others. How one day, you could be fine, and then the next you could be on edge about every tiny thing.

Today was one of mine, and it started with a nightmare. About that night, so many years ago in my old bedroom at the Olmstead's.

About him.

I awoke with a jolt to feel Connor shaking my shoulder. My eyes whipped around the room at a thousand miles an hour, searching out any potential threats. The only people in the room where me, Connor, and Jesus. Jesus was wearing the same surfing shirt he once used to cover up his tattoo. Connor was wearing his pajamas.

"You okay, little bro?" Jesus asked.

No.

"Yeah." I said, whipping my eyes, "Just a bad dream."

"I'll say." Connor said.

"You were screaming." Jesus added, his eyes filled with worry, "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied, shaking my head again to rid my mind of the images, "What time is it?"

"Almost noon." Connor told me, "We were coming up to get you up and get you ready to go to the beach. Walked in on you thrashing around in your bed and screaming."

"Sorry." I said.

"Don't be. We all have freaky dreams sometimes, dude." Jesus said, patting me on the shoulder, "Now get dressed you two, Callie, Brandon, Mariana and I are going with you to the beach, and we are ready to get going. Brandon is going to drive us there."

"You're actually getting in a car?" I asked surprised.

Jesus had been a bit skittish around cars since the accident that killed his and Mariana's mother. He had absolutely refused to go anywhere near one, let alone ride in one.

"Yeah." He said uncomfortably, "I'm sitting in the way back with Mariana, so I should be okay. Callie's gonna ride shotgun, so you two lovebirds get the whole row to yourselves."

"Okay." I said, with little emotion in my voice.

Jesus made his exit, shooting me a worried look as he left.

'Great. Now he's suspicious.' I thought to myself.

"I'll get dressed in the bathroom." I said.

"Okay." Connor said, reaching for his backpack.

I walked over to my dresser and extracted my swim trunks and a yellow t-shirt. I left the room and went into the bathroom, just narrowly beating Mariana to the punch, much to her annoyance. I put on my clothes and after a couple seconds debate, quickly painted my nails. I was probably being silly, but the nail polish had become a sort of security blanket for me, and I felt like I might need it before the day was out.

I shook myself from my musings and returned to my room and stopped dead in my tracks.

Connor was standing there, with a shirt in each hand, trying to decide which one he wanted to wear. One was a tank top, which was mostly blue, and the other was a plain red t-shirt.

This situation would be fine...

...If he was actually still wearing his pajama top.

I knew he worked out. I knew that because he played baseball and soccer he would have some muscles, but damn.

Not that kind of muscle. For an almost fourteen year old, he was practically a body builder.

I have no idea how I managed to snag somebody who looks like that.

I made a small noise between a squeak and a moan, and his head whipped up to meet my gaze.

'Crap. Caught.' I thought.

"Hey. Which do you think I should wear? Plain red, or tank top?" He asked.

I could barely form a coherent thought, and he asks me a question? Of course he does.

"Um. Uh. I uh, tank top." I stutter out. I could feel my face turning red.

"What's the matter?" He asked, "Why're you turning red? What'd I do?"

"Um. Sorry. It's just... I never... I um, didn't know you had muscles." I stutter, whispering the last part.

"Huh?" He asked.

"Your muscles. They're uh... kind of distracting." I finally manage to stutter.

His eyes light up in amusement, and he flexes the damned things. I immediately avert my eyes in an attempt to cling to some of my dignity.

My eye twitches.

"Damn you puberty." I swear, far too quiet for him to hear.

He hears it anyway, and laughs.

"I didn't know you'd never seen me shirtless before." He said.

"Well... I've felt them through your shirt when we make out," I said, still averting my eyes, "But I didn't really think they were as big as they look."

"You ARE allowed to look, you know." Connor said, noticing my averted gaze, "You're my boyfriend. You have more right than others to look. Unless you don't want to..."

"It's not that I don't want to look." I said, deciding that honesty would be better, "I guess I just feel kind of inadequate is all."

"What do you mean?" Connor asked.

"I just can't believe that somebody that looks like that can be interested in somebody like me. You've got muscles, I don't. You could have anybody you wanted at school." I said.

"So?" Connor asked simply, "I don't want anybody else. I want you. I had to fight like hell to get to where I am with you. Besides, I like the way you look. You're cute. I like cute."

I blush.

"And blushing only makes you cuter." He said, only half joking.

I giggle and he moves in and hugs me, still shirtless. I hesitate for a minute before wrapping my arms around him.

"You'll never have to worry about me leaving you for somebody else." Connor assured me, "You are the only person in the world who really gets me 100%. I couldn't leave you if I tried."

He pulled back and leaned in for a kiss. I met him halfway, only to be interrupted by a throat clearing after a few seconds.

I looked over towards Callie with a look of irritation as she stood in the doorway with a smirk on her face.

"Come on you two, Jesus is getting impatient." She said, giving us a wink. Connor quickly puts on the tank top, and we follow her out of the room and down the stairs.

Jesus, Brandon and Mariana are all standing their waiting for us.

"What took you guys so long?" Jesus asked impatiently, "Where they making out again?"

"Yep." Callie said.

"We were not making out." I said shortly, "It was one kiss."

"One shirtless kiss." Callie interjects teasingly.

Jesus and Brandon's looks could only be described as predatory.

"Reaaaaaally?" They said together.

"Get some, baby bro." Jesus jokes.

I flinch, and Connor notices and steps in.

"Don't start." Connor said testily, "You know he hates it when you do that."

They both put up their hands in mock surrender.

"Let's just go, shall we?" Mariana interjects quickly.

I shoot her a grateful look, and drag Connor out to the car.

The ride to the beach is a short one, and once we get there we realize that it is packed. We pick a spot far down the beach, far away from everybody else where we wouldn't be disturbed. We ended up with a spot not far from the boardwalk. After Connor and I helped each other put sunscreen on, we spent the next three hours just enjoying the sun and the water. Connor and I sat side by side on separate towels, hands linked, enjoying each other's company. Enjoying the fresh air. Free from our thoughts, free from drama.

Everything was going just fine. I should have known that something would ruin it.

I got into an argument with Jesus, just a small disagreement about something stupid that neither of us would remember later. It was all fun and games, playful sibling banter, until he decided that it might be a good idea to try to wrestle me.

Somehow, I end up laying on my stomach, with my right arm behind my back.

"Whaddya gonna do now, huh punk?" Jesus said jokingly.

I couldn't stop the memory from flashing through my mind...

_**Can't move. Arms pinned.** _

_**That voice.** _

_**"What are you gonna do now, huh? You really think you can fight me?"** _

_**Hurts. Too much pain. STOP!** _

_**Please, no. Nonononono.** _

"NO!" I screamed in panic. Feeling the weight leave me, I rolled and swung a blind punch. Barely registering the impact. I scrambled backwards a couple of feet, and curled in on myself. I sunk into the memory, panic and terror consuming me.

_Connor's POV:_

Dammit Jesus. You've done it now.

"Nonononononono. Not again please no." Jude mumbled brokenly.

Brandon pulled Jesus away, while Jesus clutched a bloody nose.

"What the hell's going on?" Brandon asked.

"I don't know! We were wrestling, and I pinned him on his stomach and it set him off!" Jesus said frantically.

Callie moved forward, slowly and kneeled next to him.

"Jude?" She asked.

No response. Jude just continued muttering to himself.

She reached out to put her hand on his shoulder.

"CALLIE DON'T!" I screamed.

Her hand touched his shoulder and his eyes flew open wide with panic.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!" He screamed at her.

I scrambled forward and pulled her back, and try to approach him myself.

"Jude?" I ask gently, "Can you hear me, JJ? You're safe."

_Jude's POV:_

Safe. Connor says I'm safe.

I snap out of my terror, curled up on the ground in the fetal position, to see Connor kneeling next to me, his arm extended forward to rub my shoulder. Callie was standing behind Connor, with Mariana, Brandon and Jesus on her flanks. They all looked at me with concern, and a small amount of terror. I notice that Jesus has a bloody nose. Must be from the blind punch.

"You okay?" Connor asks gently.

I uncurled and sat up, shaking. I shook my head in the negative.

"Jude." Connor said, "Talk to me, JJ. Please."

"Memory. Bad."

"Was it... that night?"

I nodded.

"Come on. Let's get you into the shade." Connor said, reaching out and coaxing me slowly to my feet. He outs his arm around me protectively, and we all walk under the boardwalk.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Callie asked worriedly.

"I... I can't say if Jude doesn't want me to." Connor said.

"Dammit Connor, I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with my brother!" Callie shouted.

I whip around and focus my fiery gaze on her.

"Callie!" I screamed, "I told him not to tell anybody. Very few people know. Only him, his dad and Moms."

"Know what?" Brandon asked.

I froze, but Connor put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a comforting hug.

"You want me to tell them?" He asked quietly.

"No. I'll do it. Just don't let go." I said.

"Jude, what's wrong man?" Jesus asked, still clutching his nose.

"You, uh. You know how I always react weird when you guys make cracks about me and Connor... doing stuff?" I ask shakily.

They nod.

"There's a reason for that."

Their eyebrows furrow in confusion, but Callie's eyes widen.

In Callie's eyes, I saw fear.

I looked down at my hands.

"Callie and I stayed at this one home before we got placed with you." I said, "The Olmsteads."

Jesus frowned deeply. All of the color drained from Mariana's face. Brandon let out a small snarl, and Callie flinched violently. Connor cracked his neck.

"You all know what Liam did to Callie." I said, "But what you... what you don't know is..."

Callie lost her composure in a split second

"Oh god. Jude, please tell me you're not about to say what I think you're about to say?" She begged.

I couldn't stop the tears from coming.

"He... he r-r-raped m-me t-t-too." I said brokenly, "Three days b-before C-Callie."

Two things happened very quickly.

First, Callie and Mariana launched themselves forward and wrapped Connor and I in a tight embrace.

Second, Jesus and Brandon simultaneously went berserk. They started shouting and cursing, promising retribution. Jesus started speaking rapidly in very angry Spanish. The noise caused me to flinch. Connor noticed immediately.

Connor freed himself from the embrace, stood and wheeled around towards them.

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" He screamed, "YOU'RE NOT HELPING THE SITUATION BY SHOUTING! COMFORT YOUR FUCKING BROTHER!"

They stopped their ranting, and the anger quickly turned to sadness as they moved forward to embrace their brother.

Connor looked back at us, quickly withdrawing his phone from his pocket. He dialed a number.

"Stef? Yeah it's Connor. We'll be home sooner than expected... No, everything's not alright. Jude and Jesus were wrestling. Jesus pinned him, and it triggered Jude's memory of the night he... the night Liam raped him... The others? They've got him in a hug, trying to comfort him... Yeah, we'll see you in a bit. I might buy him lunch on the way home, try to make him feel a little better... Yeah, bye."

He hung up the phone.

"I am so sorry, Jude." Callie said through her tears, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't want to remember it. I wanted to forget it. The only reason I told Connor was because he's boyfriend. The only reason Moms and Connor's dad know is because I said it out loud when I thought I was just thinking it. Connor's helped me deal with it."

We all got to our feet and beckoned Connor back over to us.

"Let's go home." Brandon said.

"Stef and Lena said they'd be waiting for us when we get there." Connor said, "You hungry, Jude?"

"Yeah, a little." I answer.

"Let's stop at McDonalds on the way home. I'll get you something." He said.

I nodded.

"And Connor?" Mariana said, "Thanks for helping him."

"Yeah, dude. I'm really glad you're there for him." Jesus said.

"It's good to know he's in good hands." Callie said, "I can't thank you enough for being there for him. It means a lot to us."

"Yeah." He said, "Anytime. He's my boyfriend. It's my job to help him. I always will."

He moved forward and threw his arm back around me and place a kiss on the side of my head.

"Always."


	12. Familial Chaos

Connor's POV:

Jude and I spent the morning together at the park, just horsing around and acting like fools. When Jude and I returned to my house after lunch, the last thing we expected to find was my mom and dad... in the same room... having a friendly conversation. It was as if I had stepped into a time warp and was sent back two years to when they were still happily married, and my family hadn't split apart.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" I exclaimed happily and ran forward for a hug, leaving Jude standing awkwardly in the doorway. She eagerly returned my embrace and lifted me off the ground slightly.

My mom, Elizabeth, is taller than me and my dad by at least a foot. She has long auburn hair, dimples when she smiled, and the kindest blue eyes that I have ever seen.

"Well, I was talking to your father." Mom said.

"Civilly?" I asked shocked, "How many time this month is hell gonna freeze over?"

"I don't know," She answered cheekily, "I'll call my dad tomorrow and ask him to take the temperature there."

Oh, and I get some of my sarcasm and sense of humor from her.

"You and dad have been together a lot lately." I point out, "I'm glad. Feels good to have the family complete again. Even if it isn't permanent."

"You never know, baby." Mom said slyly.

I raised my eyebrow questioningly.

"Huh?" I asked.

"I told your dad when I filed for divorce that it he ever got his head out of his ass we might be able to work something out and make amends." Mom said simply, "He's done that, now that he's not as bothered about you and Jude being together. We've been talking a lot lately, and you never know."

She whipped around toward the door where Jude stood.

"You can come in, you know?" She said sweetly, "You don't have to wait for an invitation."

Jude stepped into the room and sat down on the couch.

"Besides, there is something we need to discuss with you both." Dad said, with a worried look on his face.

"Oh god, what is it?"

"I got a phone call yesterday from your grandfather, inviting us to the family barbeque later today. He mentioned that you could bring a friend along." Dad said simply.

The blood drained from my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jude react the same way. I had told him all about the rest of my family during when of our cuddling sessions two weeks ago.

"Oh crap. Does he know about me and Jude?" I ask, dreading his answer.

"Not yet, but since he's coming with us, it's likely that he will by the time the day is out." Mom said.

My eye twitched.

My grandfather, Alexander Stevens, was a very strict, old fashioned man in his late sixties, of fundamentalist Christian principles. He went to church twice a week, every week. He prayed ever night before going to sleep. He never works on Sundays. Most importantly, he hates gay people with a passion. If I had a dollar for every time I had heard him ranting about how gays were ruining the country, I would have enough to buy a freaking Bugatti Veyron. If he found out about mine and Jude's relationship, he would go berserk. He was only scared of one thing.

"Who else is gonna be there?" I ask shakily.

"Your grandma Madeline, obviously. Your Uncles Evan and David, and your cousin Albus. Your Aunt Caroline, and cousin Julius." Dad said.

Okay maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought. I would actually have some people besides mom and dad in my corner.

My grandma Madeline was the only person on the planet that scared my grandfather. She was a kind woman in her late sixties, and she already knew about Jude and I. She came up to visit me in the hospital after I got shot, and after my dad allowed Jude entrance. Always a sharp woman with incredible intuition, she noticed immediately that something was different from my demeanor. She said I had hearts in my eyes.

She nearly strangled me with a hug when I told her about Jude, and she promised that she wouldn't tell anybody else. She also promised to keep grandpa under control if he ever found out. She's also the only one of my extended family to have actually met Jude in person. She had popped in while he was their once, and spent an hour telling him embarrassing stories about me from my early childhood that set a smirk on his face for the rest of the day.

My Uncle, Evan Edward Stevens, was a bit of an enigma. He's my dad's younger brother by a whole nine years, and the youngest of his siblings at only thirty two. He is also my dad's complete opposite. He makes a point to stay that way, in every single way. I've always called him "Rebel" as a joke, because he never followed my grandfather's strict ideals. In fact, he went out of his way to trample all over and burn them to ashes with a flamethrower at every single opportunity that he gets. He is combative, and he enjoys goading my grandfather, and sometimes my dad into arguments that he almost never loses.

Unlike my dad and Aunt Caroline, he's never been married, preferring to live a bachelor lifestyle. He always said he didn't need a woman to make him happy. Every time I see him, he is dressed in the same outfit. Black fedora, black suit, black long coat, black boots, and a thick polished silver handled black cane that he didn't even need to use to walk. I remember asking why he always dressed like that, and he said it was in honor of an old friend. I asked him what the cane was for, and he clicked a button on the handle, and it revealed a sharp blade concealed in the shaft. Just in case, he always said.

My other Uncle, David Christopher Jackson, was not really an uncle at all. He's my Uncle Evan's best friend, and a dear friend to the family who I had known since I was little. He and Uncle Evan have been best friends since the first day of high school. The two were rarely ever seen without the other somewhere nearby. They owned a business together, and they made a decent chunk of change from it, so they could afford to do pretty much whatever they pleased within the bounds of the law. Which meant that my cousin, Albus, was spoiled absolutely rotten.

My cousin, Albus Walter Stevens, is a bit of an enigma in himself. He's eleven years old, three years younger than me. He's a good kid, and takes after his dad in looks and personality. His name may mean it, but he is anything but pure, at least when it comes to getting into trouble. He has a really bad habit of pranking people who annoy him. He is a bit of a mystery, because nobody knows how he came into existence, and his arrival was a complete surprise. The rumored story was that my Uncle Evan had a one night stand and Albus was dumped on his doorstep. But somehow, I get the feeling that that is not even close to what really happened. I may be wrong about that, but every time the story is mentioned, Uncle Evan, Aunt Caroline and Uncle David get this mischievous look in their eyes that you can tell means they are holding back guffawing laughter.

My Aunt Caroline is the oldest of my dad's siblings, nearing the end of her forty ninth year. She is further proof that my family is unlucky with relationships. I got shot in the foot and Jude nearly had to go to war with my dad before Jude and I finally got together. Mom and Dad are divorced (although for how much longer is debatable as of late), Uncle Evan is a bachelor, and my Aunt Caroline is a widow. She lost her husband, who was a cop, in a gang shootout only a month after Julius was born. She is an intensely loyal woman, who would go out of her way to help somebody if they were proven worthy of her loyalty. She was also fairly liberal in her beliefs. I was also her favorite nephew.

My cousin Julius is the only other person in my family who's reaction I worry about. He's twenty years old, six years older than me, and he's always been distant with everybody. He holds everything incredibly close to the chest. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking until he say it aloud, which is rare since he almost never speaks if he doesn't have to. He never shows any emotion, and he maintains a blank face at all times. He's almost machine like. I used to call him a Terminator when I was little because he showed so little emotion. He would always roll his eyes.

This was going to be an interesting day.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I'm guessing that staying here isn't an option?" I asked hopefully.

"Sorry kiddo. If I have to suffer through it, so do you." Mom said cheerfully.

I groaned and dropped my head into my hands.

"Hey, at least your grandma will be there." Jude interjected hopefully, "She knows about us."

Dad's head whipped to focus on Jude.

"She does?" He asked surprised.

"I've met her, and she likes me." Jude explained, "She popped in once while I was over when you were at the golf course. Spent an hour telling me the most interesting stories about Connor's younger days."

As he finished his sentence, a wolfish grin stretched across his face.

I groaned.

"Don't start." I pleaded.

"Aw, you're no fun." Jude pouted.

"How do you think the others will react?" I asked.

"Your Aunt Caroline will be fine with it." Dad immediately said, "She is too loyal to turn on anybody, so if your grandfather starts something she will probably try to stay out of it. Your Uncle Evan? I have no idea. I've never claimed to understand what goes on in that man's head. He could go either way, although I suspect he'll side with you just to spite our father. Your cousin Albus is too kind of a boy to hate anybody, so don't worry about him. Julius? Again, I have no idea."

"So just grandpa to worry about then?" I ask hopefully.

"I hope so. But you never really know until the moment arrives." Mom said.

"I would recommend trying to catch them all by themselves and tell them yourself before your grandfather puts the pieces together and makes a scene."

I nodded in agreement.

"When are we leaving?" I asked.

"We were waiting for you two to get here." Dad said, "I've already cleared it with Stef and Lena. So let's get going, and get this over with."

I led Jude out to my dad's SUV, the whole time feeling as though we were heading to our doom.

My grandpa lives in a town an hour and a half north of San Diego. Jude and I settled into the back seat of the SUV, and Jude leaned his head on my shoulder and fell asleep. I soon followed him into the bliss of unconsciousness...

We were awoken by my mom shaking us awake.

"We're here."

My Aunt Caroline and cousin Julius were standing there waiting. I dragged Jude up to them.

"Hey Auntie." I said, "Sup Jules?"

Julius just nodded at us. Aunt Caroline smiled at us.

"Where's grandpa and grandma?"

"Inside cooking." She answered, "Who's your friend?"

"This is my friend Jude."

"Nice to meet you." Jude said, stepping forward and extending his hand for her to shake.

After shaking his hand, she stared at him for a second, looking him up and down, then looking between him and me.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Friend, huh? Looks like a bit more than that, if you ask me." She said.

I swallow.

'Here goes nothing.'

"And so what if it is?" I ask testily.

"No need to get so defensive, kiddo. He's cute. Good for you." She said simply.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, before turning to Julius.

He merely offered me a smile, and a wink.

"Who else knows?" Julius asked, finally speaking.

"Dad, Mom, Grandma, the whole school, and Jude's whole family." I answered.

"Adam knows? And he's allowing it? Has hell frozen over?" Caroline asked.

"Is everybody gonna say that?" Jude asked.

We stood in the front yard to await the arrival of my Uncle Evan and his brood, as was custom for these things. We only had to wait for ten minutes when I heard the roar of a V8 engine. We turned to see a black 1970 Dodge Charger flying down the road, skidding to a stop right behind Dad's SUV.

My Uncle Evan had arrived.

Whereas my dad was relatively skinny, my Uncle Evan was built like a linebacker. He was six foot four, had shoulder length dirty blonde hair, and a five o'clock shadow. He was dressed in his usual black ensemble, and his eyes held a calculating quality to them. Until they landed on me and Jude, and they switched from calculating to warm.

"Hey nephew! You got taller! Last time I saw you, you were about a foot and a half shorter." He said as he sauntered up to us, wrapping me in a quick hug before turning to dad and mom, "Liz, always a pleasure to see you. Adam."

"Evan. Haven't changed a bit have you?" Dad teased.

Evan looked surprised for a second before a shark like grin broke across his face.

"Never." He said with a grin as David and Albus both approached us as well.

"Hi Connor!" Albus said as he approached, a wide grin on his face showing of a few missing teeth.

"Hey little dude. Been too long." I said to him.

Albus looked at Jude and quirked an eyebrow.

"Who's he?"

"This is Jude."

"Nice to meet you kid." Evan said, shaking Jude's hand. David did the same.

"Like the Beatles song?" Albus asked.

Jude and I snort simultaneously.

"Um, yeah, like the Beatles song." Jude said.

"I like you." Albus said simply to Jude, before giving me a wink.

"You, my cousin, are too smart for your own good." I whisper to him.

"Flattery will get you anywhere." He joked, and pulled out his iPhone and started playing Five Nights at Freddy's.

He didn't get very far, because seconds later the front door opened and we all turned to see my grandfather step out onto the porch.

I gulp.

"Here goes everything."

We were directed inside to the dinner table where there was an assortment of grilled meats placed on platters. My grandma was already sat to the right of the head chair. My grandpa sat down at the head table, and my dad sat to his left. Mom sat next to dad, I sat next to her, and Jude sat next to me. On the end sat Albus, since he was the youngest. Caroline sat next to grandma, Julius sat next to Caroline, and Evan took up the last seat.

"Bow your heads for grace." Grandpa demanded.

Everybody but Evan did so.

"Thank you lord, for this blessing we are about to receive. Amen."

"Amen."

We all dug in.

Five minutes later, he turns to Jude and I.

"Connor." He said sternly. "Aren't you going to introduce your friend."

"This is Jude. My best friend."

"What happened to that one kid? Jackson, was it?"

"He's in Spain. It's the first time he's left the country in his wheel chair." I said.

"Wheel chair?" Grandpa asked.

"He got hit by an SUV while on a date with his girlfriend, Daria." I explain sadly, "He'll never walk again."

"Sorry to hear that." Grandpa said.

I noticed as he let the conversation drop that he hadn't sounded sorry at all.

Five minutes later, he started ranting. Today's rant was about to continued spread of the legalization of same sex marriage. Everybody looked uncomfortable. He was only five minutes into the rant when Uncle Evan had enough.

"Okay, I've heard enough of this diatribe. If you'll excuse me." Uncle Evan said irritably, and he rose from his seat and stomped from the room. David and Albus followed quickly behind him, an exasperated look on their face.

"That boy, I swear. Needs to get his priorities straightened out." Grandpa said gruffly, "If he'd stop hanging around with so many undesirable people..."

"I think that's his choice, not yours." I said coldly, cutting him off, "I'll be back. Bathroom."

I rose from my chair and made an extremely speedy escape, catching an apologetic look that my grandma was sending me. I give her a subtle nod before leaving the dining room. I was barely aware of Jude behind me, but I was well aware of the glare that my grandpa was leveling at my retreating back.

I turned to Jude once we were in the backyard, out of my grandfathers hearing range, and linked our hands, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

"Sorry about that, I just couldn't take it anymore." I said quickly, "I can't stand it, he's insulting me, he's insulting you, he's insulting Austin, Ritchie, Wynston, and a whole community of people who have never done him any harm."

"It's good to know that somebody else has sense in this damned family."

Jude and I whip around to see Evan and David standing against the tree.

"Also good to know we're not the only couple in hiding." David said with a wink.

I gaped at them in shock.

Of course they're a couple. Now that I think about it, it's so obvious that it's ridiculous.

"How could you guy's tell we we're together?" I croaked.

"Every time dad wasn't looking, you two would be sneaking looks at each other. The way you act around each other is way too comfortable to just be platonic. Plus, you were playing footsie under the table. Not exactly subtle of you two." Evan said.

In the back of mind I vaguely remembered Jesus saying almost the exact same thing.

"You guys are together?" Jude asked dumbfounded.

"Yep. Married too." Evan said mischievously, pulling a ring from his pocket.

"Have been since it was legalized here." David interjected.

"What I'm itching to know, is how my dear brother reacted to this?" Evan asked curiously, "I always thought that Adam lent more towards dad's way of thinking on the subject."

"He did." I said simply, "He tried to keep me and Jude from seeing each other when I first told him I was gay. He caved when he realized that it wasn't going away, with a little help from Jude's mom Lena. That was right after I got shot. He's actually pretty cool with it now."

"Has hell frozen over?" Evan deadpans.

Jude snorts, and I crack a smile.

"That's exactly what I've said. Three times." I said brightly, "That's also what Aunt Caroline said when we told her earlier."

"Ah, so you told her before your favorite Uncle?" He said with a fake pout.

"Your my only Uncle." I deadpan, "Biologically, that is. Besides, she was the first one here."

"That is true." Evan conceded, "She is the only one who knows about us, as well."

"Dads?"

We turned to see Albus standing in the door. He slowly walked towards us.

"You okay?" He asked them.

"Yeah, kiddo we're fine." David said, "You?"

"Sick of having to call you Uncle, daddy." Albus said irritably.

He turned to us.

"Is anybody else about to kill Grandpa?"

"Thinking about it." I admit jokingly.

"By the way boys," Evan interjected, "I'm happy for you two. Don't let anybody ruin that. Now let's go back inside before they come looking."

We all went back inside, and reclaimed our places at the table.

Jude and I shared a quick look after we had sat back down, to make sure we were both okay. I turn my head a fraction of an inch to look at Grandpa. He was staring at us, a peculiar look on his face.

"Oh shit." I say, only loud enough for Jude and Mom to hear me.

"What?" Jude whispers back.

"He's just caught us looking at each other. He's figuring it out. Get ready to run if you need to." I tell him.

Suddenly, Grandpa's eyes darkened, and he looked like he had swallowed a lemon.

"He's figured it out." I whispered to Jude.

We only had to wait five more minutes for him to finally say something.

"You know, Connor, that I don't like being lied to." He said in a voice dripping with poison, "And you dare to bring that sick little perversion into my house?"

The room is dead silent.

"Friend, indeed." He snarled.

I feel Jude shrink in on himself next to me at being insulted so venomously. I steeled myself and turned and made eye contact with my grandfather, a glare in full force.

"Watch whose boyfriend you're calling a perversion." I snarl back.

He leapt to his feet, and so did the rest of the table. Grandma grabbed his arm to stop him advancing on us like he was trying to, but he broke free. Evan ran around the table to put himself in front of me and Jude. He pressed a small button on his cane's handle, and pulled.

A three and a half foot long blade slid from the body of the cane. He brandished it in front of him, the tip right above my grandfather's chest.

"If you take one step closer to my nephew," Evan said, his voice cold enough to freeze steel, "I will not hesitate."

"This is against god!" Grandpa snarled.

"So is the pork and shellfish you're eating, and polyester shirt that you're wearing. Get over yourself, old man." Evan returned.

"Still you stick up for them?" Grandpa shouted, "The sinful little pervert, and his little boy toy? It's sickening!"

He would have continued... if my Dad hadn't lunged forward and planted a right hook across his face, knocking him to the ground. Dad shook his hand around to clear the pain.

"You okay bro?" Evan asked.

"Never better." Dad answered before turning back to his father, "If you EVER call my son those names again, I will bash your fucking SKULL IN!"

"Their kind are not welcome here."

"Then I'm not welcome here either, and neither are David and Albus." Evan snarled.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means you cantankerous old fart?" Evan snarled, "Albus is OUR son. David's not my best friend, you idiot, he's my FUCKING HUSBAND!"

"I want you freaks OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN, ALEXANDER STEVENS!" Grandma thundered, making him cower, "THIS HOUSE IS NOT YOURS! IT IS IN MY NAME, SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN IN THAT CHAIR BEFORE I BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT!"

He did as he was told.

"In case you haven't noticed, you are the only one here who has a problem with it." She continued, "So shut up and eat your damned dinner. I swear to all that is holy if you say another word I will make you a miserable man, AM I CLEAR?"

"Yes, dear." He said through gritted teeth.

I tried desperately to calm my breathing but found that I couldn't.

So I start talking.

"You call him nasty. You call him a perversion. If love is a perversion, then so be it, because I love Jude, and nothing you say or do is gonna change that. I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for Jude. If it wasn't for him you all would have attended my funeral months ago."

It's the first time I've spoken about it in a long time.

Jude looked at me sharply. I had never told him this. I didn't noticed my Uncle Evan inhale sharply.

"When I first met Jude, the divorce was happening and I was depressed. Really depressed. Then Jude came into the picture, and I had somebody that could push those thoughts away. Think about that the next time you call somebody like us, somebody gay, a perversion."

We eat the rest of dinner in silence, and left very quickly afterwards, with promises exchanged between the adults to stay in contact and visit. Everybody but Grandpa.

On the ride home, I reflected on the day's events. I was sad, of course, that my grandfather had turned on me. But with Jude's head leaning resting asleep on my shoulder, I found my sadness being chased away by the content feeling that welled in my stomach.

But no matter how hard I pushed away the feelings, it hurt.

It hurt to know that I would never see my Grandfather again.


	13. We Put Each Other Back Together

Connor's POV:

I woke up, and the memories from the previous day hit me like a freight train. I quickly threw on a pair of shorts and another of my striped tank tops and meandered down the stairs.

I walked into the kitchen to find my Uncle Evan standing there, sipping from a can of Coca Cola.

"Uncle Evan? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came here to talk to you." He said. His eyes held none of their usual humor.

The held sadness, and worry.

"What about?" I ask.

He looked at me with sympathy in his eyes.

"You said something at dinner last night, that really worried me."

"What'd I say?" I ask confused.

"You mentioned how if it wasn't for Jude, we would've all attended your funeral."

"Oh. That." I mutter awkwardly.

I had completely forgotten about mentioning that.

My darkest days.

It's a subject that I had buried deep in the bowls of my consciousness. One that I never brought up after the fact, and rarely thought about. It was something that I had tried very hard, indeed, over the past seven months to forget.

"Did you mean what I think you meant?" Evan asked gently.

"That I was... was s-s-suicidal when I met Jude?" I asked shakily in confirmation, receiving a nod, "Yeah. I was. But I really don't wanna talk about it. Not now."

"I won't force you, but I will tell you... that I know how that feels. To be suicidal, and to meet somebody who ends up saving your life without knowing it."

I whip my head towards him to meet his gaze.

"You do?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah. I do."

"How?" I asked.

"It's a long story." Evan said.

"I've got time." I said.

"When I was growing up, being gay was a social death sentence." Evan said, "I had a boyfriend, in middle school. I wasn't even as old as you and Jude are now."

I nodded for him to continue.

"His name was Nate." He continued, "And I was head over heels for him. I dated him for a year and a half in secret. The only person who I told, was your Aunt Caroline. But then somebody else found out."

My eyes widened.

"The fuckers cornered him on his way home." Evan said shakily, "Beat the shit out of him, ended up putting him in a coma. His parents moved the whole family out of state after he woke up, to escape what happened. I barely even got to say goodbye. I was pulled from class the next day and told the news. I went downhill, real quick. I hid it well. Your grandparents and your dad never realized what was going on. I got myself involved with some nasty things. I started sneaking drinks from dad's liquor cabinet, I was doing drugs, I was cutting."

I winced at the final admission, rubbing my arm out of reflex. He didn't notice.

"Caroline tried to help, but she couldn't heal the wound. David was the one who did that. I was sitting alone at a lunch table, and he sat down and started chatting with me about comic books. By the end of the day, I had gained a best friend. I knew that I could survive with him at my side, and I'm guessing that's what you thought about Jude?"

I nodded.

"Yeah." I said, "Do you think I should tell him? About the whole thing?"

"If I've learned one thing," Evan said, "It's that the quickest way to fracture a relationship is by keeping the wrong secrets to yourself."

It was at this moment that my phone dinged, alerting me to an incoming text message.

As if sent by god to answer my own question, the message was from Jude. It was the first text I had received from Jude since we dropped him off at home last night after the debacle at my grandmother's house.

"We need to talk about yesterday. Meet me at the bench."

"Be there in a bit, I'm gonna eat breakfast first." I sent back.

"That was Jude," I said, "He wants me to meet him at our bench at Anchor Beach."

"Okay, well I'll let you get to that then." Evan said, "Just remember, kiddo. If you ever need to talk, you can always come to me.

I nod to him and he leaves. Outside, a moment later, I hear the sound of his Charger thundering down the road.

My mom walked into the kitchen.

"Connor."

"Mom? You stayed last night?"

"Yeah." She said, "Can't tell you how much I've missed waking up with your dad next to me. Anyway, where are you going so early?"

"Going to meet Jude. He wants to talk about yesterday."

"Ah. I see." Mom said, "How are things between you two?"

"They're great." I said, "We haven't even had a fight yet. Though I think we did enough of that before we started dating to make up for at least the next three months. Add on how hard we had to fight dad to be together, that's at least another year."

"When did you fight before this?" Mom asked.

I realize with a start that Mom hasn't heard the full story of how Jude and I got together.

"I kissed him in the tent during our school trip. Afterwards, I was trying to cover up my feelings for him from dad by dating this girl, Daria." I explained, "It was the only way dad would let me hang out with Jude at the time. I ended up using her as my beard, and I ended up leading him on. One day, Dad was out of town and his flight was canceled, so I stayed the night at his place, and I ended up flirting with him the whole time."

"Connor..." Mom said, disappointed.

"I know. I know. I was an idiot." I said sadly, "Anyway, we were in his backyard playing catch, and I threw the ball so that he'd miss a three in a row streak. He threw his glove at me. So I wrestled him and pinned him to the ground. We stayed that way for a moment, just staring into each other's eyes."

"Aww." Mom said.

"Yeah. But then my phone dinged with a text from Daria, inviting me over to her house. Jude asked me if I wanted to go, and I asked him what else there was to do. He got pissed and stomped off. I laid there in the grass, trying to decide what I was going to do. About a minute later I texted Daria and told her no, then I followed him up, told him I texted Daria and told her I was going to stay there. He said it wasn't nice to lead people on. I told him I wasn't, and I flicked his shoe a couple of times to try and lighten the mood. He told me to stop. I went in to do it again, and he kicked me in the stomach. I double over, he starts apologizing. I ask why he kicked me, and he snaps. Confronts me about everything. The kiss in the tent. Me holding his hand at the movie theater. Flirting with him all day. I just needed him to understand, so I leant in and kissed him again. Our first kiss, in the tent, was asking a question. The second one was the answer to that question."

"Then two days later you sneak out to see him and end up getting shot." Mom said.

"Yeah." I confirmed, "It was Taylor's idea. She could tell that Jude had feelings for me. I didn't notice at the time, but when she suggested getting drunk and making out, she nudged Jude and tilted her head towards me. I was grinning at Jude like an idiot. Just the thought of kissing him again was... intoxicating."

"Then you snapped and told your dad in the hospital afterwards." She said. I nodded.

"Couple days later, he lets him in, and we get together officially." I finish.

"Your dad has come a LONG way since then." Mom pointed out, "I'm actually kind of surprised at that. I think he actually likes Jude now, rather than the grudging respect he had at the start."

"Yeah. I'm proud of him." I said, "He even punched grandpa for calling Jude and I those things. I'm glad he's come around."

Mom smiled.

I smiled back, and we sunk into a comfortable silence.

"Are you and dad going to get back together?" I asked hopefully.

Mom gave me a soft smile.

"It's possible." She said, and I felt my heart jump, "Your dad has changed a lot since we got divorced. He's a better man now. A better father."

"Yeah."

"Anyway, you'd better go. Best not keep Jude waiting."

I agreed with her assessment and launched myself out the door with a renewed spring in my step. I got on my bike and pedaled quickly away towards Anchor Beach.

Jude was already there when I arrived. He was wearing a plain red t-shirt, and beige cargo shorts. He had a beach bag sitting next to him on the bench, which he moved to the ground at his feet when he saw me approach. He patted the bench next to him, and I sat down next to him. I snuck a peak at him. He had a deadly serious expression on his face.

"You said something last night." He started, "About being depressed when you met me."

"Yeah, I did." I confirmed.

"How bad was it?" He asked.

"Really bad." I said after a moment's hesitation.

"You said if I wasn't there, you would be dead." Jude said, his voice breaking, "That's more than just 'really bad', Connie."

I wince at the nickname. To date, Jude has only called me that five times. The first two times were teasing. But now he only calls me that when one of us in extreme emotional distress. He called me that when Jax was nearly killed in that hit and run. He called me that when we we're talking on the way home last night when I started crying. This time makes five.

"I know." I admit.

"Why did you never tell me?" He asked, upset, "You're my boyfriend!"

"But I wasn't back then, was I?" I said quietly, "Nobody knew about it but me. I hid it VERY well, JJ. Uncle Evan tried to talk to me about it this morning before I left to meet you. He knows what I went through, because he went through it himself, and I still couldn't stomach telling him the full story."

"Tell me then." Jude demanded, "Cry. Scream. Shout. Do anything you have to do. But TALK TO ME..."

"My mom and dad." I cut him off. He looked at me.

"What about them?" He asked.

"They fought all the time before the divorce. It was nonstop, constant, it never seemed to end. And my name was always brought up when they fought. Mom couldn't stand how controlling he was over the way I lived, my friend choices, what I did for fun. They would argue about me for hours."

Jude grabbed my hand in his and rubbed comforting circles on the back of it with his thumb.

"Go on." He said.

"In my twelve year old mind, that meant that it was all my fault." I confessed, "It was my fault that my family was ripping itself apart, and that shattered me into a billion pieces. I started to feel like people would be better off without me, so I started closing myself off from my friends. I stopped speaking to Jax, Castor, Alex and Carson. I felt like they wouldn't understand. Then one day, mom and dad sat me down and told me they were getting divorced."

I took in a deep breath and exhaled, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall.

"I didn't even let them get the full sentence out." I said, "As soon as I heard the word divorce, I bolted. Locked myself in the bathroom upstairs. I felt so much pain, and it wouldn't go away. I dug through the medicine cabinet, and I found my dad's razor. "

I held up my arm and pulled back the sleeve.

"This was the result." I said.

Jude reached out with a trembling hand to trace one of the pink scars the remained, forever emblazoned on my arm.

"How long has it been? Since you last did it?" He asked.

"Seven months." I said, "Anyway, to use my Uncle's turn of phrase, I went downhill quickly. I would do it at any open opportunity. Then one day in gym class, I caught myself looking at one of the other boys in class. It felt like I'd been sucker punched. All I could think about was my grandfather and dad's attitude towards the whole thing, and I started to think that maybe God was telling me I didn't deserve to live."

Jude wrapped his arm around me protectively, glaring fiercely at a passerby who sent us a strange look.

"Keep going."

"I became suicidal." I said, "The next day, I went to school, intending never to leave."

"What do you mean?" Jude asked.

I paused for a moment.

"I... I was... *breath* I was going to jump off the roof." I confessed shakily, "Normally, that's not high enough to kill you, but it would have been If I did it headfirst. I made it to math class, and I asked the teacher if I could be excused. I was walking down the hallway, and I turned the corner and ran headlong into somebody. I look down, and there's this little brown eyed kid with a bowl cut staring up at me. I looked into those brown eyes and I saw a kindred spirit. Something I desperately needed to keep me alive."

Jude smiled.

"Me." He said.

I nodded.

"Yeah. You."

"You helped me off the ground and said hello, introduced yourself." Jude continued, "You seemed unusually chipper."

"I knew I had found somebody who could help put me back together." I said, shooting him a teary smile, "I could tell you were something special. You asked me if I knew where your math class was, and I told you I was in the same one and led you there. We sat next to each other. I remember thinking you were cute, but given where I was with THAT at the time, I pushed it away until the whole thing happened with Maddie before your adoption."

Jude snorted at the memory of our first real fight, and the irony of the situation.

"Arguing over a girl, when neither of us like them." He said jokingly.

I snort, and nod.

"Anyway, then I saw you getting picked on for your nail polish," I continued, "And I didn't step in quickly enough. The look you gave me after the teacher stepped in. I thought I fucked it all up. So the next day, I put it on myself and wore it in your defense."

"And afterwards, I asked you why you did it." Jude said, "Why you would risk it, because they might bully you like they did me."

"And I told youthat they wouldn't." I continued, "That they wouldn't touch you again, because you were my friend. That I thought of it as something more than nail polish. That it wasn't just nail polish, it was our war paint. Then I asked you to be my partner in science, and that Saturday, we hung out to do our DNA/RNA project together. I sealed our friendship by giving you my PSP and telling you to keep it. It wasn't until I got home that night that I realized you had already started putting me back together."

"We put each other back together." Jude interjected, "I was just as broken as you were. An abused foster kid, closeted rape victim, who never knew whether the next home was gonna last a day or a year, or whether the next home would be a good or horrible one. You fixed me too."

"They gave me the choice on who to live with, you know?" I told him, "About a month after we met. If I went to live with my mom, I would have to leave Anchor Beach, which meant I would lose you as a friend. So I chose to stay with my dad. I thought that if I left you, the old urges would come back. The day of your adoption, afterwards at the celebration at your house, I realized that with you at my side, I would never have to worry about not wanting to live."

"I hope you never DO feel like that again." Jude said, "I don't want to attend your funeral, Connor. Not for at least another eighty years."

"Do you really think we'll still be together when we die?" I ask curiously.

"I'm thirteen, you're fourteen. It might last, and I hope with all my heart it does, but it might not." Jude said rationally, "It still feels weird to me, to have the luxury of being able to look to the future with something besides terror and apprehension. Even if it doesn't last forever, you and I will always be best friends, you will always be special to me. I will always be there for you when you need me. Even if the status of our relationship changes, that is one thing that definitely won't."

I smiled and leaned in for a kiss. It was hot, passionate, and we both wrestled for control.

We stayed like that until we had to stop for breath. I looked down at the beach bag, and quirked an eyebrow in question.

"What's the bag for?"

"Well, the first beach date got ruined when Jesus set me off," He said, "So I figured we could spend the day together, just us. Swim for a while, lay in the sun, go for lunch on the pier. Make out under the pier after lunch..."

"Sounds like a plan." I said, leaning in to kiss him on the nose with a laugh, "I love you."

"I love you too."


	14. Broken Beat and Scarred

Connor's POV:

Today had been going so well. We had been having such a good time today, free of worry and anxiety. Just Jude and I, being a couple, acting like we deserved to act.

How did things get so fucked up in just a few hours?

Everything was going great. Jude and I had a mini date at the beach after our heart to heart talk. We ate the sandwiches he had brought along. We swam for a while, and then we had played at the arcade on the pier until we had wasted half of our combined funds. Then we snuck away, to make out under the pier for a couple of hours. We never saw it coming. We didn't know we were being followed.

One second we're kissing, enjoying a nice make out session. Then we hear slurs being thrown at us and the next moment we're both on the ground and a couple of muscle heads are beating the shit out of us.

I fought back, but they had knocked Jude unconscious, so he was defenseless.

When I managed to knock the guy going after me out, I turned to focus my attention on the guys going after Jude. For the second time in my life I felt murderous rage course through my veins. I looked around, my sight catching notice of a medium sized rock. I picked it up, and with a bellow of rage, I lunged forward and struck Jude's attacker over the head with it.

I heard Jude moan in pain as he momentarily regained consciousness. He curled up into a ball, and started crying, and I rushed to his side.

"Where does it hurt?"

"C-c-chest." Jude chokes through his tears, "R-ribs hurt."

I pulled out my phone and dialed 911.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"Yeah I need an ambulance and the police at the pier near Anchor Beach Charter School. My boyfriend and I were just attacked. We need help. Send Office Adams Foster, tell her it's Jude and Connor."

"Help will be there right away."

"Thank you." I said, hanging up the phone, "Help's on the way, JJ. Don't move too much. It'll be okay. I promise."

Not even ten minutes later, as our attackers are starting to regain consciousness, the cops and ambulance show up. Stef doesn't even bother being gentle with our attackers, making one of them bounce their heads off the door of her squad car before offering a very fake and very sarcastic apology.

That was three hours ago.

It's 3:43 p.m. on August 12th, 2014 and I'm sitting next to my boyfriend's hospital bed. Trying furiously not to burst into tears.

He's got four broken ribs, a concussion, and a fractured wrist. He was hurting so much, they gave him some pain meds to put him to sleep. Lena and the rest of the Fosters had arrived quickly and had informed me of Jude's injuries. I sat down in this chair, and I haven't moved or made a sound since.

I barely registered my dad enter the room and pull up a chair to sit next to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

"Where's mom?" I ask.

"She's in the waiting room talking to Stef and Lena..." Dad said, "They said they were gonna call Jude's dad, and get him down here too. You okay, son?"

"No. I'm not."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the steady rhythmic beep of the heart monitor.

"This is the third time in less than two months that I have been in this damn place." I said miserably, "First it was me, then it was Jax, and now Jude too?"

I exhale a shuddering breath that turned quickly to a sob.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take." I cried softly, reaching out and threading my fingers through the ones on Jude's undamaged hand.

"I'm sick of how everybody else in this world wants nothing more than to see us suffer." I growled, "It's not fair. I'm a human being, Jude is a human being, we are ALL human beings, and just because we both like boys automatically makes us lower than the filthiest of scum in the eyes of so many. I'm fucking SICK OF IT!"

"Connor, watch your mouth." Dad scolded softly, "I know you're angry. I know you're upset, but that kind of language is unacceptable within earshot of me or your mother."

"Sorry," I said glumly, staring back at Jude, "It's just... Jude has been through too much in his life already, and he's only thirteen. He lost his mother at six years old and went into the system, where he was subjected to horrors that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies. He was raped by some sick bastard who was supposed to be his foster brother. And through all that, he is still kind, considerate, compassionate, brave, honest, loving, lovable, and the best boyfriend I could ever have hoped to have, and ever will have if it doesn't last. He is an amazing, wonderful person who doesn't fully realize how wonderful he really is. I would be dead if it wasn't for him."

A short silence followed my monologue, before Dad broke it.

"I heard what you and your uncle talked about this morning." Dad said.

I gave him a quick glance.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"About you being suicidal when you met Jude." He said, his voice cracking

"If I had known at the time, how much you were hurting, and how much Jude helped to put you back together and heal you, I would never have tried to keep you two apart. I feel so... terrible about everything that I said to you. I very nearly ruined the one thing good that you felt you had in your life, and I am so... so sorry. I'm surprised you can even stand the sight of me anymore."

"You've accepted me." I said to him, "You've accepted Jude. You've accepted our relationship. I've noticed it, he's noticed it, even mom has noticed it. You stood up for us at the restaurant that day. You stood up for us at Grandpa's yesterday. Mom is proud of you. We all are proud of you, for how far you've come... I'm proud to call you my dad again."

He gave me a look. It held many emotions: shock, pain, love, worry, and a tinge of anger.

"The only thing I worry about with your relationship with Jude, is things like this happening." Dad said, "The bastards that did this to you two won't get away with it, I promise you."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"The district attorney is an old college friend of mine," Dad said, "He owes me a favor, and if I call it in, he will make these guys' lives in prison a living hell."

"You would really do that? For me and Jude."

"After all that kid has done to help you, and after I pulled my head out of my ass, he was already practically becoming part of the family." Dad said, "He's your boyfriend. You love him, and he saved your life. That DOES make him family. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY fucks with the Stevens family."

I smirk, but it quickly turns into a smile.

"Thanks dad. That means a lot to me."

"For what it's worth, I think this will last. Your relationship with him." Dad said, "I have never seen two people who belong together more than you two."

We sink into a semi comfortable silence, which is interrupted when there is a knock on the door and we turn to see Jude's dad enter slowly.

His eyes widen in rage at the sight of his son's condition.

"I think I'm gonna go visit my old cell mate tomorrow." Donald said, "He owes me a favor. The bastards that did this to him... they are gonna have a hell of a time in prison."

I feel Jude's hand squeeze mine at the sounds of his dads voice. I whip back around to see that he has woken up, and is staring at Donald with squinted eyes.

"Dad?" He asked.

Donald approached the bed. Tears of fury and worry cloud his vision.

"Hey kiddo. You okay?" He asked.

"I'd be a lot worse if Connor hadn't been there." Jude said weakly, "He hit the guy over the head with a rock. If he hadn't been there..."

"Don't think about that, JJ." I interjected, "I was there. There's no need to dwell on how badly it could have been when it wasn't."

"When can I go home?" Jude asked sleepily.

"Stef and Lena said they are keeping you for a few days for observation." Donald answered, "I guess they wanna make sure everything is normal on the blood tests and the scans."

Jude nodded, accepting the answer given to him.

He patted the space next to him on the bed.

"Connor," He said, "C'mere."

"You sure? The beds kinda small." I said.

"Just get up here."

I smile at him softly and nod my head. I rise from my chair and gently lower myself into bed next to him, taking care not to jar him. As soon as I'm in a comfortable position, he leans into me as best he can given his injuries. His head rests on my shoulder. I turn my head and press a kiss to the top of his head. Then the door flies open with a bang, scaring the daylights out of me.

My Uncle Evan is standing there in the doorway, in all of his usual menacing black clad glory.

His eyes are completely bloodshot from his anger, giving him the look of being possessed.

He approached the bed.

"Brother. Donald." He said, nodding at Dad and Donald. Donald nods back.

"Evan." My dad said, returning the nod, "They can never seem to catch a break, can they?"

"We're gonna end up having to hire bodyguards." Donald joked morbidly.

"I've got a friend from college that was in the Secret Service." Uncle Evan jokes, "He owes me a favor."

"What'd you do to earn the favor?" Jude asked weakly.

"Referred him to a divorce lawyer." Uncle Evan said nonchalantly.

Jude snorted, and releases a short guffaw of laughter that turned to a moan of pain. Jude rubbed his ribs from the pain the laughter caused.

"Come on Uncle Evan, don't do that." I scold him for making Jude laugh, "You've had broken ribs before, you know it hurts to laugh."

"I didn't know his ribs were broken. Sorry about that, Jude." He admits sheepishly.

"S'okay." Jude said, "At least I can count on you to liven up the mood when everybody else is seething."

"Oh believe me, kiddo," Uncle Evan said, "I am seething just as much as they are, I've just been blessed with the gift of being able to switch it on and off without a seconds hesitation."

"You'll have to teach us that trick." I said.

"If you want to, I'd be glad to teach you anything that'll keep you two safe." Uncle Evan said.

"Even how to shoot a gun?" Jude asked quietly.

All heads in the room turned to look at him in shock.

"You'd want to learn how to shoot a gun?" I ask him wearily.

"Yeah. I don't want to be scared every time I go out in public. It'd make me safer knowing I knew how to use one."

"We haven't exactly had the best of luck with guns in the past," I remind him, "One left a hole in my foot if you don't remember. Besides, we're too young to get the permit to carry one, even if we did know how to use them."

"If we start learning now, then we'd be fine by the time we reached that age." Jude argued.

"I just don't know if it's a good idea." I said, "You and the guys had to beg me for a week to get me to go paintballing."

"And you ended up liking it." Jude said.

"Yeah." I argued back, "But a paintball gun is a little bit different than a Glock isn't it? If you want to learn how to shoot... fine. Go ahead, I won't stop you. But I think that it's one thing I'm just not ready to do."

"Fair enough."

"I could teach you how to use a knife too, if you want me to." Uncle Evan interjected.

"That sounds like it'd be more my speed," I responded, "Safer than a gun."

"Don't be cocky, Connor." Uncle Evan said, "You can still hurt yourself using a knife improperly, just like with a gun."

He paused and looked between us before sighing.

"If this is what you guys want, then I will teach you," He said, "Jude, I will teach you how to shoot and use a knife, because like Connor said, it'll be a long time before you can get the permit to carry a gun. BUT, you have to ask your moms first. Jude. I'm not gonna teach you this behind their backs. I know that Stef is a police officer, and I know she would have my head for brunch if I did that. So, when you get out of the hospital, and when your ribs and wrist have healed, IF they BOTH give consent, then I will teach you. But ONLY when those conditions are met. And you have to take this EXTREMELY seriously. Any screwing around, and the lessons are done. Clear?"

Jude nodded.

"That goes for you too, Connor." He said, turning to me, "I know your dad is on board with you learning to use a knife to defend yourself, but you still have to convince your mom. And like I told Jude, any screwing around and it's over. Am I clear?"

"Yeah. Crystal." I said with a nod.

"Then we're all in agreement." Uncle Evan said with a nod, "I will teach you and Jude how to use a knife, and I'll teach Jude how to shoot too. As soon as Stef and Lena give me the all clear, and as soon as you're healed, we can start."

I turn my head to look at Jude. He has a determined look in his eyes, that almost scares me. i grab his hand and give it a squeeze.

I'm not his master, so I'm not going to try to talk him out of doing it. I know that when he gets that look in his eyes it was like trying to convince a brick wall to shift it's bricks without a bulldozer. I just hope this doesn't backfire on us. At the same time, I'm glad we are going to be learning how to defend ourselves.

I don't know if I can handle something else bad happening to Jude.

At least this way, if it comes down to a fight, we'll at least have a chance.


	15. First Fight

Jude's POV:

I had been home for six days.

Connor has been popping in and out over the course of the time, but ever since the hospital, there has been this tension in the air when we are around each other. I had talked him into going to see a therapist to talk about what happened to us, and also to talk about the other issues he has had in the past. After the third session yesterday, he told me that the doctor diagnosed him with depression.

Since school resumes in three days, all the "Mafia" members have been dropping in to say hello. Needless to say I've gotten a lot of visitors. I was pleasantly surprised when Jax and Daria showed up, and Jax was grinning again. Like he used to before he lost the use of his legs. Connor's dad popped in a couple of times to check on me, as did my dad. Connor's Uncle Evan stopped by every day to check that I was alright.

It was during Connor and Evan's visit today that I finally decided to broach the topic of my desire to learn to shoot a gun, and use a knife.

"I want to learn how to shoot a gun." I said.

I sat at the kitchen table, staring at my moms, who are staring back at me in shock. I could see Evan standing in the doorway behind me, dressed in his usual black ensemble that he never seemed to change out of. Connor stood to my right, leaning up against the counter, dressed in jeans and a blue flannel shirt. As soon as I said the word "Gun" he flinched and clenched his fist on the edge of the counter.

"Can you... can you repeat that, sweetie?" Stef asked.

"I want to learn how to shoot a gun." I said, "Connor's uncle said he'd teach me how to shoot, and how to use a knife, if you guys agreed."

"Why do you want to learn how to shoot a gun?" Lena asked cautiously.

"I just... don't want to be scared." I said simply, truthfully.

"Honey, we know that what happened to you was bad," Lena said, "And we get that you might be a bit scared. But you're too young to carry a gun."

"I didn't say anything about CARRYING a gun." I interrupt, "I just want to learn how to shoot one. If I carry anything, I'll carry a pocket knife of something."

I sighed.

"Connor and I weren't doing anything wrong." I said sadly, "We were having a date at the beach. Connor talked to me about some serious stuff that got brought up when I went with them the that dinner at Connor's grandma's house."

"Like what?" Stef asked, concern lacing her voice. I saw Connor stiffen out of the corner of my eyes.

"It was some scary stuff," I admit, "Stuff about Connor that I never knew, that goes back before I knew him. Stuff that worries me. Stuff that I'm not gonna go into detail about with you guys until Connor gives me permission to do it."

My tone spoke loud and clear that I wasn't saying anymore on the subject. I looked over to Connor, who gave me a grateful nod. Stef and Lena turned to him.

"You know you can talk to us about anything, right Connor?" Lena said.

"I know, and I'm grateful." Connor said with a small smile, "And I will. I planned to talk to you guys about it today, but it can wait until this conversation is over first."

"Fair enough." Stef said.

"Anyway, we had fun. It was a nice little date," I said, smiling a little, "We ate the sandwiches you made me to bring along, we went swimming, then we spent most of our money in the arcade. We snuck under the pier for some... uh, alone time. Just to kiss for awhile. Next thing I know, we're getting the crap beat out of us. I get knocked out, and when I wake up, the first thing I see is Connor standing there with a bloody rock in his hand."

"He was?" Lena asked shocked, shooting Connor a shocked look. Neither of us had told her or mom the exact details about what had happened that day. At first it was because I could barely stomach to think about it, let alone speak about it out loud.

"Yeah. I hit the guy over the head with it." Connor said awkwardly, "Jude was unconscious, and the guys wasn't about to stop, so I stopped him."

"He saved me." I said, "He's always the one saving me. It makes me feel weak. I'm NOT weak! I want to be able to defend myself, I want to be able to defend Connor if I need to! I love Connor to death, he's helped me more than even he realizes, and I don't want to have to be looking over my shoulder every time we go out in public together, waiting for the next attack to come. I shouldn't have to!"

"Jude, honey. I know you are upset about this all..." Stef started to say, probably about to try to talk me out of it, but I interrupted her angrily, losing my carefully caged temper.

"You're damned right I'm upset about it!" I snapped, my anger getting the better of me, "Those fuckers put me IN THE HOSPITAL! They broke four of my ribs, screwed up my left wrist and gave me a concussion because they caught me kissing my boyfriend! If, god forbid, it ever happens again, I want to be ready."

"JJ." Connor said sternly, staring at me with a gaze that warned me to be cautious, "I know you are angry. But you gotta calm down, and I'm pretty sure swearing isn't gonna help you're case."

"I'm sorry." I said sheepishly, "I just don't want to be scared to be with you."

"I'm scared too." Connor said, "But frankly I agree with your moms on this one."

I rolled my eyes, and my sheepishness turned straight to anger and irritation. Connor and I have been arguing about this since that day in the hospital. Connor may be okay with the both of us learning to use a knife to defend ourselves, but after giving it some thought Connor was vehemently against me learning how to use a gun.

"Stop doing that." I said testily.

"Stop what?" He asked, pushing off from the counter and walking up to stand next to me.

"Trying to convince me that doing this a bad idea." I said irritably, standing to turn to face him.

"Well it is a bad idea, Jude!" He shot back, equally irritated, "I'm okay with you learning how to use a knife, and I'm willing to do that with you, but remember what happened the last time we encountered a gun? I GOT SHOT!"

"Well that's less likely to happen if we can defend ourselves, isn't it." I snarl back.

"If we be careful, and don't go looking for trouble, we won't need to defend ourselves." He growls back condescendingly.

I knew he was only trying to protect me, but my dormant temper finally snapped, and I started shouting.

"WE WERE CAREFUL!" I shout, "WE WERE HIDING UNDER THE PIER FOR FUCKSAKE AND WE STILL GOT ATTACKED!"

"THOSE ASSHOLES HAD PROBABLY BEEN FOLLOWING US ALL DAY!" Connor shouted, losing his temper as well.

"WE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED, CONNOR!"

"YEAH, BUT WE WEREN'T KILLED WERE WE?" He shouted back.

"WELL WHAT IF WE AREN'T THAT LUCKY NEXT TIME, DUMBASS?" I scream in his face, "THE LAST THING I CAN HANDLE IS SEEING YOU, BEING ZIPPED UP INTO A FUCKING BODY BAG!"

"YOU THINK I WANT THAT EITHER, YOU FUCKING IDIOT?" Connor screamed back, "IF ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU, I WOULD HUNT THEM DOWN! I WOULD MAKE THEM PAY! I WOULD PROBABLY TORTURE THEM TO DEATH! BUT, IF YOU GOT K-Killed..."

His voice broke as he hissed that last word, and the tears he had been holding back finally flowed. I feel the anger seep from my body at a speed that could set a land speed record. Connor, however, wasn't finished shouting.

"I WOULD HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR IF YOU DIED, JUDE. IF I HADN'T MET YOU THAT DAY," He screamed, tears leaking down his face, "I WOULD HAVE JUMPED OFF THE ROOF OF THE FUCKING SCHOOL!"

To my left, I could hear Stef and Lena gasp in horror.

"I love you, so fucking much, Jude." He snarled at me, no longer shouting but still angry, "And you SAVED MY LIFE! You have other things to live for, Jude Adams Foster! You are THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO LIVE FOR! Even now, the only thing that stops me from carving up my arm with a FUCKING RAZOR BLADE, is you!"

"What do you mean, I'm all you have to live for?" I ask grumpily.

"It's true, Jude. You? You have so many things." He growled testily, starting to calm down a little bit more, "You have two moms, happily married, who love you. You have a dad who loves you and is trying like hell to be the dad you deserve to have, despite the past. You have Callie, you have Jesus, you have Brandon, you have Mariana. You have me. You have all these people who would kill to help you, and keep you safe."

"You have them too!" I interject loudly, "And You have your mom and dad. They're on the verge of getting back together! You have your Uncles, your Aunt, your cousins, your grandma..."

"Yeah, but it doesn't help." Connor interrupted sadly, "You know that I have depression, Jude. I told you that yesterday. I am surrounded by so many people, and the only one of them in this world that actually CAN help me, is you. Every time I think about the possibility of losing you, I feel the same thing. The same feeling of hopelessness, sadness, worthlessness..."

He takes another calming breath.

"If I lost that... then I'd be right back where I was the day I met you." Connor said, "That's a feeling that I never want to feel again. So, I'm sorry if I seem a little hesitant to let you do something so dangerous without trying to talk you out of it first. If me wanting you to be safe is a problem, then maybe we should just break up. Because you being safe and back to being just my best friend, is better than you being in danger and being my boyfriend."

"I don't want to break up with you." I said shakily.

"I don't either." Connor agreed, "But this where I draw the line, Jude. I love you, and I don't want our relationship to end this soon, but that's where I stand. If you're still gonna do this, then we're not boyfriends anymore."

I could see in his eyes that he was serious.

Deadly serious.

I turned to look at moms. They were both standing there, staring at us with looks of pure shock on their faces. I looked at Evan, who was giving us a sad look. I look back at Connor.

Was it really worth it? To throw away something that I had fought so hard to have just so I could learn how to shoot a gun. The decision made itself.

"Okay." I said quietly.

"What?" Connor asks.

"I said, okay." I said, "I won't learn to use a gun. I promise. Just... don't break up with me."

He nods, before extending his arms and motioning for me to give him a hug.

"Come here."

I do. I wrap my arms around his torso, as does he, gently so he doesn't cause me pain because of my damaged ribs. He places a kiss on my head.

"Sorry I called you an idiot." Connor said.

"Sorry I called you a dumbass." I said softly.

"Do you two still want to learn hand to hand fighting?" Evan asks from behind us, "Knives, throwing punches, that kind of thing?"

I pull back from the hug and look at Connor.

"Do you want to?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I can handle knives and throwing' punches." He agreed, "Those aren't too extreme."

"Can we?" I ask, looking to Stef and Lena for their answers.

The shared a look and sighed in unison.

"If that's what you want?" Stef asked. I nodded.

"If you promise to be careful, and follow the rules that Evan lays down, then we have no problem with it." Lena said.

"We promise." Connor and I said synchronously.

I turned to Connor.

"Want to go upstairs for a while?" I ask. He nods.

We head up to my bedroom and enter, leaving the door open. We sit down on the edge of my bed, and I reach for his hand, threading my fingers through his.

"I think we just had our first fight." I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

Connor snorted.

"Yeah." Connor said with a snicker, "I mean we've fought before, but that was the first time we've ever had a shouting match."

"And we made it through it."

"Yeah, we did." Connor agreed.

I leaned in and gave him a kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too, JJ." Connor said.

"Let's agree that the next time we get into a disagreement, we'll sit down and talk it out and compromise so we don't end up screaming at each other again."

"I can agree to that," Connor said, "Because I realized that I really don't like it when we scream at each other. It's making me feel really bad."

"I'm sorry." I said sheepishly, "You made me see sense, though. You're right. Learning shoot was probably a bad idea."

We laid down on the bed and enjoyed the comfortable silence. Connor rolled over on his side and snuggled into my side. I closed my eyes and threaded my fingers through his hair, petting him like a dog. I pressed a couple of kisses to the top of his head, and it wasn't long before Connor ended up falling asleep. About twenty minutes later, Stef came in a draped a blanket over the two of us. It wasn't very long afterwards when I followed Connor into the bliss of unconsciousness.


	16. Start of a New School Year

Connor's POV:

The day long held with both anticipation and dread had finally arrived, and summer vacation was at an end. It was time to return to Anchor Beach. Eighth grade was beginning for most of our group, with the exception of the older members. Jude and I were delighted to find, upon receiving our schedules, that we had all but one class together. The only class I didn't share with Jude was our first elective class. Jude had decided to take Poetry I with Jax during third hour, while I would be taking Creative Writing I.

I was a bit skeptical at first about taking a writing class, but none of the other electives either didn't interest me, or I was not fit to attend them. I couldn't do Show Choir, because I can't sing or dance, no matter what Jude says to the contrary. I wasn't going to take any artsy classes because my artistic skill is of an abysmal level. I didn't take Poetry with Jude because my attempts at writing poetry would be a bit like the poetry equivalent of vomiting on the Pope. Cringe worthy, but hilarious. Jude always tells me that I make up really great stories, so I figured, if I can put some of them to paper I could get a good grade in this class and have fun at the same time.

We were disappointed to find out that the only other member of our group that shared our lunch period was Jax. We met at the door to the school, and Jude and I quickly headed for our usual table, under the shade of the infamous "make out tree", Jax rolling along close behind us. When we reached the table, I pushed his wheelchair through the grass up to the head of the table. I noticed that he looked thoroughly disheartened.

Jude and I sat down beside each other. He withdrew a notebook from his book bag, and a weird pen from his pocket.

"What kind of pen is that?" I asked.

"It's a fountain pen." He answered, "It's supposed to be used for calligraphy. Dad gave it to me when he last visited. I'm only using it for my poetry assignments though. Don't want to use up all the ink too quickly."

"What's your guys' first assignment?" I asked them.

"We basically have to write something short that involves dreams." Jax answered.

"I started writing it in class, but I didn't get to finish." Jude said, already scribbling in the notebook. When he finished, he signed his name at the top and handed me the notebook.

"Tell me what you think." He said.

I looked down at the paper and began to read aloud.

"It is the ashes of our broken dreams that fertilize the ground on which new dreams grow. The dreams we seek the hardest, those that are always hardest to realize, are the ones that rise from those ashes like the Phoenix." I read, looking at Jude in surprise.

"Damn, JJ. That's actually pretty good." Jax said.

"You think so?" He asked, taking back the notebook and looking his words over, "It doesn't seem like I'm trying to hard or something?"

"No. It's pretty good. A lot better than what I could come up with." I said.

We elapse into silence, and I notice that Jax is staring off into the distance, a sad expression on his face.

"What's wrong, Jaxxy?" I asked.

"Nothin', Con." He mumbled, glancing at the hopeless excuse for a pizza slice he had bought from the cafeteria, "Just wish Daria was in the same lunch, is all."

"I'm glad you have her." I told him, "She makes you happier than I've seen you since... uh, before, um, you know..."

I motioned to his wheelchair and useless legs.

"Before I was a cripple?" He asked, exasperatedly, "You CAN say it, you know? It's not a bad word, bro."

_"Is this about what my dad said?" I asked Jude, "Because, you know, I don't care if you're, you know... If that's what you are... Are you?"_

_"What? Gay?" Jude responded, "You can say it. It's not a bad word."_

I shook my head to clear the memory that flashed through it.

"You okay?" Jude asked.

"Yeah, just Déjà Vu." I said, "You said almost the exact same thing to me once, brought back the memory."

"Oh." He said, "Oh yeah, I remember. When you asked me if I was gay that time, and went off on my anti label tangent."

"Anti label tangent?" Jax asked confused.

"Yeah, Connor asked me if I was gay, like his dad thought I was. I asked him why I had to label what I was, and I didn't get why people went around using labels to put each other in boxes. I still don't get it."

"That's a good philosophy to have." Jax agreed. I nodded.

A shadow fell over our table. I looked up to see who our visitor was, expecting one of Jude's siblings. Jude tensed and Jax glared. I clenched my fist.

It was Jeremy.

"What the hell do you want?" I snarled at him.

He flinched.

Wait a minute... he flinched?

"Can, uh. Can I talk to you guys for a minute?" Jeremy asked timidly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and in my peripheral vision I could see Jude and Jax do the same.

"Why?" I ask, suspicion setting me on edge.

He looked down at his feet, and started playing with the sleeve of his hoody, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Please?" He asked.

The pleading tone in his tone shocked me, and again, I could see the others shared my shock. I motioned with my head to sit across from Jude and I. He sat down and stared at the table.

"You said you wanted to talk." I point out crossly, "So talk."

"I, uh. I heard what happened to you over the summer." Jeremy said, looking to Jude, "That you both got jumped for being gay."

"What's your point?" Jude interjected, his voice laced with venom, "If you have something to say, get to the point."

"I did a lot of thinking over the summer." Jeremy said, staring at his hands, "And I just wanted to say I was sorry."

Okay. I was NOT expecting that.

"Come again?" I asked, almost sure that I misheard him.

"I'm sorry." He said again, "For calling you guys... that word. For making fun of the nail polish. Everything."

Jude and I shared a look.

"Why'd you do it?" Jude asked. His voice was still edgy, but it held a note of curiosity.

Jeremy mumbled something, too low for anybody to hear.

"Speak up." I snapped.

"I was jealous, okay?" He said miserably.

Silence. Absolute silence followed that statement.

"You guys know exactly what you are." He continued, "You're not ashamed of who you are. You're not afraid to be exactly what you are. Others aren't that lucky."

'Oh if only you knew.' I thought to myself.

"I'm not that lucky." Jeremy admitted after a moment's pause.

"Wait, what?" I asked in shock, too shocked to maintain any venom in my voice.

"Are you... are saying what I think you're saying?" Jude asked, dumbfounded.

Jeremy looked around, making sure nobody was watching. He clenched his eyes shut, and took a shaky breath.

"I'm... I-I'm g-... I'm g-gay too." He stuttered.

The look on his face was utterly miserable. He looked about ten seconds away from having a breakdown.

"Why are you telling us this?" I asked him, confused.

"Because... you guys, are the only ones I could think of who could possibly understand." Jeremy said, "You're the only ones I could think of that could help.

"Who else knows?" Jax asked, breaking his silence.

"My dad and my younger brother." Jeremy said, "Dad was the only one I wasn't worried about finding out. He's really supportive. My little brother, James, only found out because the little snoop read my journal. All he did was ask me a few questions, then ask me if I could lend him ten bucks. My mom though... she doesn't know. She can NOT find out."

"Why not?" Jax asked.

"She's really religious." Jeremy said, his voice sounding miserable, "Like, ridiculously so. If she found out..."

He shuddered.

"The way she talks about people like u-us, makes me feel sick." He continued, "It makes me feel less than human. The only way I knew how to not feel that way was to take it out on others. So that's what I did. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

"My dad wasn't okay with it at first either." I told him, "He tried to sever all contact between me and Jude when I came out to him and admitted to having a crush on Jude. Even after he caved, for a while, it was all he could do to just be civil with Jude. With a lot of help from Jude's moms, my mom, and the internet, he's come around. He accepts me now. He accepts that Jude and I are boyfriends. He's comfortable with it enough to joke around with us about it. Sometimes it just takes time."

"My mom's not like that." Jeremy said, "She's too set in her old ways. She's too stubborn, she never backs down from an argument. It's impossible to get her to change her opinion on something."

"I'm sorry, dude." I said, "That sucks."

"Yeah. It does." He said.

"It does explain a lot, though." Jude said, "Self loathing can make anybody crazy, no matter how good a person they are at the center."

He gave me a pointed look while he said this. It didn't take a second to catch the meaning behind the look. I could see the similarities between Jeremy's situation and the one I used to be in. If I had handled things differently myself, I could have ended up in the exact same position that he's in.

"I understand." I say finally, "And I accept your apology. If you ever need to talk about this kind of thing, you can always come to me."

He looks at me, a shocked look on his face.

"Why?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Why would you do that for me?" He clarified.

"Everybody deserves a second chance." Jude said, "And we get where you're coming from. We can help."

He offers us a small smile. It only lasts a second, but it's full of relief.

"Thanks." He said.


	17. Into The Fold

Connor's POV:

The rest of the school week went by quickly, as the first week of school usually did. Classes flew by in a flurry of teachers handing out syllabuses and giving us our first assignments for the year.

I decided almost immediately that Creative Writing was my favorite class. The teacher was a young man named Chris, who insisted that we call him by his first name because calling him Mr. Austin makes him feel old. He was in his early twenties that kind of reminded me of my Uncle Evan, except he's a lot less sarcastic.

Our first assignment was to write a story about a defining moment in my life that changed it irreversibly, that had to be a minimum of two pages in length, and a maximum of ten pages. With permission and a little help from Jude, I wrote about us. It started with the night I came out to my dad, and ended with when we became boyfriends in the hospital.

Jude very quickly decided that his favorite class was Poetry, and that his least favorite was Algebra I, which he spoke of with disdain at every available opportunity. Jax agreed heartily, and they enjoyed complaining about it together. I found it amusing, since Math usually came easy to me. Don't get me wrong, in no way, shape or form do I like math, but I was good at it. Jude didn't like it because he's dreadful at math.

Jax doesn't like it because the teacher, Mr. Robertson, is a "monotonous old skeleton who is about as interesting as a stick of celery". Jude laughed uproariously when Jax said that after our second day back. Both us laughed even more when Jax got detention because he hadn't realized that Mr. Robertson was standing right behind him as he said it. Jax pouted all through lunch, and ranted about he now thought that Mr. Robertson was possessed by the devil. Jeremy thought that was amusing, and was glad that he was in a different class.

Jude, Jax and I continued to eat lunch with Jeremy, who is actually pleasant company now that he doesn't hide behind his old fear induced mask of false bravado. We learnt a lot about him. We learned that he likes to draw but hides it because his uncle thinks that "drawing is for pussies". He showed us a couple of sketches he had made and they were surprisingly good. He even did a quick pencil sketch of Jude and I that was scarily realistic.

He enjoyed video games, but he would only play open world games role playing games like Fallout 3 and New Vegas, Far Cry 3 and 4. When asked why, he answered that he liked that they allowed him to do whatever he wanted in the game. He also hates first person shooter games, which he finds mind numbingly boring.

He likes music, more specifically Metal. He said that he used to listen to a lot of Pop music, but he started listening to Metal and Rock after he heard his Mom and Uncle go off on a tangent about how "gay" pop music was. He joked that when he started listening to it, he never expected to like it, but he found out that he thoroughly enjoyed it. He and Jude spent the whole lunch period the second day back talking about different bands, and he managed to get Jude to agree that Metallica was better than Guns N' Roses by lending him his copy of the Black Album. His liking of Metal is what led him to learn how to play bass guitar, which prompted Jax to finally engage him in a real conversation.

We also found out that he also likes clothes, which is a closely guarded secret of his. He made a joke on the third day he sat with us that if he could get away with it without his mom and uncle finding out, he would probably dress like Austin does. I also noticed that he had a small, barely visible smile on his face when he mentioned Austin.

Yesterday, Jude and I decided that we wanted to get to know him a bit better, so we cornered him after lunch and asked him if he wanted to come over and spend the night at my house. He looked a bit nervous, but we managed to convince him.

My dad was initially against it, because he knew that Jeremy used to be our bully. It took Jude and I two whole hours to convince him.

That is how we the three of us ended up sitting at the kitchen table, with my dad leaning against the counter, staring at Jeremy.

"So."

Jeremy fidgeted.

"They tell me you've had a change of heart." Dad said, "They wouldn't tell me why. I want to know why."

"Dad." I tried to interrupt.

"It's okay." Jeremy said nervously, "Jude and Connor, uh... they're helping me."

"Helping you?" Dad said skeptically, "With what?"

He mumbled something too quiet for us to hear.

"Speak up, please." Dad said, an eyebrow raised.

"They, uh, are helping me with... with the whole being gay thing." Jeremy mumbled.

Dad's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

"Oh." He said. "That explains it."

"Can we go upstairs now?" I asked. Dad nodded, and we all rose quickly to retreat to my room.

Jeremy sat down in my desk chair with a sigh, sitting his backpack on the desk in front of him.

"You're dad doesn't like me." He said.

"He just has to get used to you." I said to him. "After Jude and I officially started dating, it took him a couple of weeks to warm up to him being around all the time. Took him longer to stop glaring at him at every opportunity. You see how he is now though. He likes him now. So don't worry too much about it."

"Okay." Jeremy fidgeted in his seat, "Thanks for inviting me over."

"Yeah, no problem." I said, "Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, did you ever finish that sketch of Jude and I that you started at lunch that day?"

He sat there, looking at us for a second, before reaching into his backpack and pulling out his sketchbook.

"Yeah. It's in here." He said, handing me the book, "Last page."

I flipped to the last page.

"Holy crap." Jude said.

"Yeah no kidding." I agreed, "This is really good."

It was incredibly lifelike. It was a drawing of Jude and I sat next to each other in the grass against the tree next to our usual table. It had started out as a quick pencil sketch, but I asked him to finish it. It captured us perfectly.

"Thanks dude." I said.

"It's the least I could do." Jeremy said.

"How'd you get so good?" Jude asked.

"Secretly." He said, "My mom and my Uncle Sebastian don't like it. They think this kind of thing is for pussies, so I have to hide it when I do it."

I noticed a peculiar tone in his voice when he mentioned his Uncle Sebastian.

"I'm guessing that your uncle isn't your favorite person?" Jude guessed.

"No. He's not." Jeremy said simply.

"Why not?" Jude asked, "He a homophobe?"

"And a racist." Jeremy said, "He's a thug, he's unemployed, he used to live with us. Got caught trying to hit my little brother. Dad threw him out."

"Wow. He's that bad, huh?"

"Oh it gets worse."

"What's worse?"

"Three words: Ku Klux Klan." He deadpanned.

Jude and I gaped at him.

"Are you freaking serious?" I said disbelievingly.

"Wish I wasn't." He said, "See why I don't like talking about my family now?"

"Jesus Christ."

"He would burn my uncle to a crisp, and laugh while he did it."

"How do you know for sure? That he's in the Klan?" Jude asked.

"I found his hood and robe." Jeremy said, "Got caught. I'm the only one who knows. Dad and Mom are completely oblivious. He tried to threaten me, but he's about as scary as a Chihuahua."

"Why didn't you tell them?" I asked.

"Simple." Jeremy said with a sigh, "He's out of our lives. He got what he deserved. He's living on the streets. He threatened to hurt my little brother. The only regret I have is not getting a few good punches in myself. James means everything to me. He can't protect himself, so it's my job as his older brother."

"What do you mean he can't protect himself?" Jude asked.

"He's fragile." Jeremy explained, "He was born with one leg, plus he has asthma. He's the sweetest kid on the planet. Smart. Kind. Considerate. Funny. Lovable. He and I have always been close. He's my confidant. He figured out what I was... that I was g-gay all by himself. He only read my journal to confirm it."

"You never did say what your parents do." Jude pointed out.

"Dad's a lawyer." Jeremy said, "Mom is an accountant. She does a lot with the church in her spare time."

"You said your dad knows?"

"Yep." Jeremy said, "He uh, caught me, uh, admiring somebody at the mall. I was so scared, I started crying. He just held me and told me it was alright. Asked me if there was anybody I liked after I calmed down. Told him I had one crush."

"You had a crush?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah. It's gone now. New one took its place." He said.

"Who was it?" I asked, "Your old crush?"

"You don't want to know." Jeremy said, a grimace on his face.

"It wasn't me, was it?" I asked him with a laugh.

He shook his head.

"Nope."

"Come oooooon. Tell me." I teased.

"Promise not to punch me in the face?" He asked.

"Promise." I said.

He sighed.

"Fine. Him." He said, pointing at Jude.

"Seriously?" Jude asked surprised.

"Yeah. Sorry." He said sheepishly.

"You're soooo lucky I'm not the jealous type." I joked, "Can't fault your taste in men. Ten out of ten."

Jude reached over and smacked me on the arm.

"Oh, be quiet, you." He said before turning back to Jeremy, "Who's the new crush? Anybody we know?"

"Yeah, actually it is." Jeremy said nervously, "I don't know why I'm trusting you guys with all this. It's your guys's buddy Austin."

"Reeeeeeeeally?" Jude said, grinning.

"Yeah. He's cool. Confident. Stylish. Great sense of humor. The general 'don't give a damn' attitude he has. Plus he's hot as hell."

Jude and I shared a look.

"He is single." Jude pointed out.

"Yeah." I said, "We could probably hook you two up if you wanted us to."

Jeremy turned extremely red.

"I doubt he'd say yes." He muttered.

"You never know until you try." I pointed out, "You never know. Think about it."

Jeremy looked away, deep in thought. He sat in silence for a few minutes before turning his head back to look at us.

"Fine. If you guys think it would work." Jeremy said with a sigh, "I just hope I don't screw it up."

"This'll be your first real relationship," Jude said sympathetically, "Connor is my first relationship, and I was worried about the same thing at the start. I know for a fact that he STILL worries about it."

"I'm getting better." I said, feigning offense.

Jude smiled at me.

"Yeah. You are."

I smiled back.

"So," I said, changing the subject, "What games did you bring?"

"I brought Fallout 3." Jeremy said, pulling the game case from his backpack, "Best game ever, I'm telling you right now. You're gonna love it. It's only one player though, so you'll have to take turns."

He popped open the case and turned on my XBOX 360. He pressed the button to open the tray, and inserted the game.

About an hour into playing the game, Jude and I shared a look. He tilted his head to Jeremy, and gave me a small nod.

I knew what it meant.

Jeremy was one of us now.

We sat up playing that game until four in the morning before we finally fell asleep.


	18. December

Jude's POV:

It's December now.

Three months have elapsed since Jeremy was welcomed into the group, and already things have changed. The day after Jeremy revealed the secrets about his uncle, the entire group assembled at the beach, and he brought them into the loop. Came out to all of them in one go. Afterwards, we introduced Jeremy to Austin, and I have never seen a human being blush harder than Jeremy did.

Three weeks after that, Connor called me frantic on the phone, sobbing, and I raced over to his house to see what was wrong. When I arrived, he wrapped me in a fierce embrace and lifted me off my feet, spinning me around in the air. It was then that I realized his tears were tears of laughter and happiness. It took him five minutes to calm down enough to tell me the reason for his elation.

His parents had announced that they were officially getting back together, and his mom was moving back in.

After that it seemed that Connor got even more protective of me, and knowing that Connor is there to protect me, and knowing that he would never hurt me has helped me a lot, in some surprising ways. I feel a lot more comfortable with my sexuality, and while I still detest the very idea of labels, I'm no longer afraid to admit that I am Gay. I'm proud of who I am. I also am starting to feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of a sexual relationship with Connor in the near future. This came as a huge shock to both of us, because given what Liam did to me I hadn't expected to even think about anything sexual with Connor for at least another year and a half. And it was all because of one incident that happened about two months after Jeremy spent the night with us while I was at Connor's house...

Flashback, November 19th 2014:

My birthday was the previous day, and I was over at Connor's for the day. I was in the kitchen making a snack, while Connor was upstairs taking a shower. We were alone in the house, because his dad had been called in to work. It still surprised me that he trusted the two of us in the house alone. Connor had been in the shower for an hour, and I would have started to wonder if he had drowned, were it not for the fact he was singing at the top of his lungs to songs from Led Zeppelin IV.

I heard the water turn off, and the bathroom door open and close. I waited five minutes before heading up.

I opened the door and immediately froze in my tracks.

Connor was standing there...

... In nothing but a towel.

I took a second to let my eyes wander. He yelped and lunged for his boxers and the towel fell and he tripped over it, falling flat on his face. As soon as the towel fell, I snapped my eyes shut, but I was about a second too late.

I saw everything. I could feel my cheeks heating up to a searing temperature.

"Okay, I've got my boxers and shorts on." Connor said after a couple of seconds, "It's safe to look."

"Sorry." I stuttered and opened my eyes, "Are you okay?"

He was blushing a delightfully deep shade of crimson.

Suddenly my pants seemed like they were three sizes too small.

'Well this feeling is new.' I thought to myself.

"What feeling?" Connor asked.

Dammit.

"I spoke aloud again didn't I?" I asked, embarrassed.

Connor nodded.

"It's just... I'm having a little... a little crisis, right now... downstairs." I said, barely able to get the words out because my mouth had gone unbelievably dry.

His brow furrowed in confusion as he processed what I had just said. A look of realization dawned on his face and his eyes went wide and flicked south of the border for a split second before snapping back up to make eye contact with me.

"Um." He said. Neither of us could form a single coherent thought.

I couldn't speak, and I couldn't think.

All I could do was feel.

I felt something I had never felt for another person though. Something that I thought I wouldn't feel for a long time because of that bastard Liam.

I felt want.

Slowly, I crossed the room and kneeled in front of where he sat on the floor.

I stared at him for a second, before leaning in a planting my lips on top of his.

After a couple seconds, I felt his lips part, and his tongue touched my lips.

With only slight hesitation, I granted it entrance.

Connor and I had kissed before, bordering on hundreds of times.

These kisses though, they were different.

Most of our kisses in the past were chaste pecks that lingered for maybe a few seconds at most. Sure, we had made out a few times, but we had never really used tongue. When we did, it was only for a few seconds. This was something else entirely.

I was lost in the sensation of it. I could taste the Doritos and Mountain Dew he had eaten earlier on his breath. My hands started to wander south, and I felt his abs. I hesitated for a moment before continuing further south.

He pulled away, his pupils dilated and eyes wide. He shot a look at my hand and it's interesting new position, before looking back into my eyes.

"Sorry." I whispered, "Got a little handsy."

"I'm not complaining," He asked breathlessly, "That's really hot."

I giggled at him

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked, "We can just kiss if you want, we don't have to..."

"I'm not ready for much more than this..." I started to saying, breathing heavily referring to the fact that we were practically groping each other, "But... for the first time ever, I don't feel scared of the thought. And I like this."

I leaned in and kissed him again.

We made out for ten minutes, before he pulled away and started placing kisses on my neck. I couldn't stifle the groan I let out when I felt Connor suck on my neck.

Needless to say, while I had no trouble sneaking my shorts into the laundry unnoticed, I had a hell of a time explaining the hickey on my neck to Stef and Lena. While they were happy that I was starting to move past the trauma of what Liam had done to me, this was still followed by the single most awkward conversation I have ever shared with anybody in my entire life.

They gave me the dreaded Talk.

*Shiver*

I simultaneously thanked god that Jesus had left for boarding school, and that Brandon had been at Idyllwild at the time, or the teasing would have been endless. I made a mental note to ask Mariana about the best way to cover them up, even if I had to endure her squealing in glee about the situation

End Flashback:

Anyway, back to the present. I had finally got the stupid brace off my wrist at the end of October, and the adults had finally deemed me in good enough health to start learning self defense.

Connor and I were at his house with his Uncle Evan. Connor's mom and dad were at the mall doing some Christmas shopping. Connor had just taken his leave to go get himself a drink of water. He said he also had something he had wanted to think about, and needed a few minutes alone.

I stood, staring, eyes narrowed at the target, with a throwing knife clutched securely in my grasp. Evan, who had insisted that I call him by his first name, stood behind me, giving me quiet instructions.

"Okay, you're doing good." Evan said, "Steady your breathing. Now adjust the grip like I showed you, and throw."

I did as I was told. I inhaled deeply for a second, before exhaling slowly and let the knife fly at the target hanging on the tree in Connor's back yard.

It connected and stuck with a dull thump. I let out a satisfied laugh.

"Very good." Evan said, "You're progressing very well."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. You and Connor." He said, "I'm kind of surprised. We've only been at this for a couple of months, and the two of you are already sticking targets. It usually takes longer to get this stuff down. Took me three weeks to stick my first target. Took you guys a week and a half. Took about six months before I started sticking them on every shot. We're going on two months, and you both are hitting it at least six out of ten times. I'm impressed."

"Cool." I said. I looked around and noticed that Connor wasn't back yet, "I'm gonna go check on Connor."

He nodded at me, and I turned around and walked toward the house. I found Connor in the kitchen, writing something down in a notebook while drinking a glass of water.

I tapped him on the shoulder, and he jumped and whirled around. He calmed when he saw it was me.

"Oh it's you." He said, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart, "You scared me."

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked him.

He smiled, but it quickly faded.

"Yeah." He said.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said with a shake of his head.

"Try that again?" I said with a small glare, "This time with the truth."

He laughed softly, reaching out and taking my hand.

"You always could read me like a book." Connor said softly.

"After all we've been through together?" I said, "I should hope so. Now tell me what's wrong."

He sighed and looked at me.

"I think you were right." He said.

"Huh?" I asked confused, "Right about what?"

"The whole gun thing." Connor said quietly.

I raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?" I ask him confused.

"You said you wanted to learn how to shoot." He explained further.

I nodded cautiously.

"Yeah, I did." I said, "And you were adamantly against it. And now you're saying I was right? I'm a little confused right now. You've been flip-flopping your stance on this since it was first brought up."

"It was some of the stuff that Jeremy told us." Connor said quietly, "About his Uncle. I realized, that there are a lot of people out there who would rather see people like me and you dead than alive."

"Which I've said twice before." I interjected.

"I know," Connor admitted, "But then I did some research. Did you know how many hate groups there are in the United States besides the KKK? A lot. And did you know that in some countries, being gay is punishable with fucking death?"

"No, I didn't know that." I said, shocked.

"Yeah. Which is why," He started, "If you still want to learn how to shoot, then I'm okay with it. And... and I'm gonna do it with you."

I gaped at him in unabashed shock.

"Are you freaking serious?" I asked him bluntly.

He nodded.

"Yeah. Dead serious."

I nodded slowly.

"How long you been thinking about this?"

"Well, like I said," He started, "After Jeremy told us all of those things about his uncle, I started researching the next day. And I've already talked to Uncle Evan about it, and after he explained everything about how he was gonna teach us, learning to shoot didn't seem as dangerous as I thought it would be. I've been thinking about us learning to shoot together since we started learning with the knives when you got your wrist brace off."

"You've really been thinking about this since before Halloween?" I asked, slightly stunned.

"Yeah," Connor said, "If we do decide this, it'll still be a while before either of us actually shoot a gun."

"What'dya mean?" I asked.

"Well, he's got a lot to teach us." Connor said, "And I mean a lot. We have limited time during the week where he could teach us. We have school, and he has his job. So, we'll be lucky if he can teach us one day a week. He said he's not letting us shoot a gun until we've both learned how to properly take care of one. That means, like... taking one apart, cleaning it, putting it back together, the names of all the different parts. He said he was gonna try to enlist Stef's help, if we decided we want to do this."

"I do." I said, "I do want to do this. I'm more surprised that you do."

"Yeah, well." He said, "I'm not that far behind you on that front. I'm surprised at myself too. But I figure knowledge is power."

"Aren't you still a little scared?" I asked, "I mean, given your history with guns, I wouldn't blame you in the slightest."

I gestured to his foot pointedly.

"Yeah, a little," He admitted, "But since it'll be months before either of us learn to actually shoot, I figure that I'll know enough by then not to be scared."

"That's a logical way to think about it." I admit. He smiles at me. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.

"Come on. Let's get back to practice." Connor said.

I link my hand with his, and we walk back out the door into the back yard.


	19. Firing Range

Connor's POV, March 17th 2015:

The day has finally arrived, and I am more nervous than I have ever been in my life.

In December of last year, Jude and I came to a mutual agreement that we would both learn to use a gun. Since then, we spent every Saturday with my Uncle Evan and Stef, who spent a couple of hours to teach us about how to take care of a weapon properly.

The first thing he had us do was choose which kind of gun we wanted to learn to use.

Flashback, December 20th 2014:

"Okay," Uncle Evan said as he led Jude, Stef and I down the stairs into his basement, "You two want to learn how to shoot. First thing we gotta do is have you guys pick your poison."

He walked up to a large cabinet, that occupied the entire back wall. He inserted a small key into a padlock and unlocked it, before entering a passcode into a keypad. The door to the cabinet opened with a pop.

"Jesus Christ, Evan." Stef said, "You prepping for war or something?"

I couldn't help but agree.

There were so many guns inside, I couldn't even hope to count them all. Assault rifles, pistols, rifles, submachine guns, shotguns, a crossbow, a couple of swords. I recognized a few of the assault rifles from some of the video games I had played. I saw an AK-47 and an M16 and raised an eyebrow at my uncle.

"What could you possibly need an AK-47 for?" I ask skeptically.

"Because I wanted one." He said simply, "Original Russian model, too. Not some cheep Chinese knock off."

"What about the belt fed machine gun on the bottom shelf?" Jude asked, his eyes widened.

Uncle Evan simply smirked.

"Remind me never to piss you off." Jude said nervously.

"Anyway, you said we get to pick?" I asked.

Uncle Evan nodded.

"Yeah, as long as it's a handgun. No rifles, submachine guns or shotguns. And keep your fingers off the triggers."

"Obviously." Jude deadpanned quietly beside me, causing me to snort, "Just the look of the those things are setting me on edge."

We approached the cabinet and perused the selection that we had to choose from.

There were so many to choose from. There were pistols that were so small that they could fit in my palm. I saw a copy of the same kind of gun that I had been shot with, a small snub nosed 38. Revolver. There was a revolver so big that it looked like it weighed a ton. I reached out and picked it up.

"Pick something else, buddy." Uncle Evan said, "Trust me, that thing is evil."

"Wasn't picking it." I said, "Just wondering why it's so big."

"It's a Smith and Wesson 500." He explained, "It's one of the most powerful revolvers in the world. I've only shot it once. Kickback was ridiculous, and it hurt like hell. Nearly knocked me off my feet. Get shot with one of these, you ain't walkin' away with the limb you get shot in intact."

I quickly placed it back in its place and picked up a much smaller pistol that sat next to it.

"What kind of gun is this?" I asked.

"Ah, much better choice." Uncle Evan said, "That's a Glock 17. It fires 9×19mm Parabellum rounds, and is quite popular with law enforcement. It's a polymer-framed, short recoil operated, locked breech semi-automatic pistol. Made in Austria. Great weapon. Is this what you want to learn with?"

I nodded.

"I think I'm gonna choose a Revolver." Jude said.

A few minutes later I heard a soft click, and the clatter of metal hitting the floor. I turned to see Jude holding the small revolver I had noticed before, with the cylinder open. I looked at the ground at his feet to see bullets on the floor.

"This one was loaded." He said, reaching down and picking up the bullets. He sat down the bullets and revolver and went back to looking.

He spent another ten minutes looking before he found something he liked. He had his back turned to us, so we couldn't see what he picked. He picked it up and held it in his hands, testing the weight. He turned it over in his hands a couple times before nodding.

"This'll do." He said quietly.

"Good. Now, which one is it?" Uncle Evan asked.

He turned to us an presented the gun.

It was a Revolver, and a fancy one. The body was polished to a shine, and the grip was a dark brown wood. Maybe mahogany? I couldn't tell exactly. I could see that there was a pattern engraved on the polished nickel that made up the gun's body. It fit him, though. Surprisingly, it was kind of hot, seeing my usually docile boyfriend standing there in the black leather jacket I'd given him for Christmas, holding a revolver.

"Doesn't Rick use one of those in The Walking Dead?" I asked my Uncle, pointing to the gun.

My Uncle raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, he does. You sure about that, Jude?" He asked Jude.

"Yeah. None of the others seemed... right. This one though." Jude said, "It's perfect. It's a revolver. I like the weight. I like the way it looks. What kind is it?"

"It's a Colt. Colt Python, to be precise." Uncle Evan said, "It fires .357 Magnum rounds. It's a powerful gun. You sure this is what you want? The kickback on these things can be pretty bad if you don't know how to handle it. Not usually a gun I'd recommend to beginners."

"Thanks for the warning, but yeah. I'm sure." Jude said.

"And if you are going to use that one," Uncle Evan said, "You gotta take care of it. Treat it with extra care. That belonged to a very dear friend who passed away a couple of years ago. He left it to me in his will, along with couple dozen grand."

"I promise." Jude said.

"What does the engraving say?" I asked curiously.

"It says... 'Persuasion and Reason'." Jude said with a soft snort of disbelief, and looked at my Uncle with a raised eyebrow, "Really?"

"Always did have a flair for the dramatics, my friend did." Uncle Evan said with a soft laugh.

End Flashback:

Anyway, back to the present. He spent the next three months after that day teaching us everything he knew about the guns we had chose. How to take care of them, how to disassemble them, clean them, and reassemble them. He taught us the names of all the parts, which took longer with me because my Glock has more parts than the Colt Python that Jude had chosen. The more I learned about the gun, the less afraid of it I was. I saw it for what it was. It was a tool, that was only as dangerous as the person who wielded it.

Today, we were going to the shooting range. They had finally deemed us ready.

We pulled up in front of the place, and the first thing I noticed was that it was empty.

"Why is nobody here?"

"They're closed." My Uncle said, sounding completely unconcerned about what sounded like a major problem.

"Then how are going to do this?" Jude asked.

"I own the place." Uncle Evan said.

I snorted.

"Of course you do." I said, "Why am I surprised?"

"Don't know." My Uncle said happily, spinning around to face me, "You really should know by now to expect the unexpected with me. Hehe."

Simultaneously, Stef, Jude and I rolled our eyes at the overgrown child as we got out of the car. Jude and I walked to the trunk and retrieved the cases which held our weapons of choice. My Uncle was carrying a large case of his own. After my Uncle unlocked all seven-fricken-teen locks on the front door we were directed straight to the shooting range. The booth had a large box full of smaller boxes full of ammunition sitting on the floor.

"Okay, here's how this is gonna work." My Uncle said, "We haven't got long. I gotta be to pick up Albus in an hour. You are gonna go one at a time. We'll go slowly at first. The first few boxes of bullets set out are blanks, they're to give you an idea of the kickback you two will feel. Once you're used to the kickback of the guns, we'll go one shot at a time, then we'll move up once you've gotten used to it. Connor, you can go first."

I gulped, and stepped up to the booth. I sat the case on the counter and opened it, withdrawing the Glock and its magazine.

"Alright." Uncle Evan said, "Now fill the magazine with the blanks out of the box."

I did as I was told, gently inserting the tiny metal cartridges into the magazine. When it was full to its seventeen round capacity, I slid it into the grip of the pistol, making sure it latched with a click.

"Okay." Uncle Evan continued, "Now point the gun down range. Brace yourself. The recoil on a 9mm isn't too bad, but you still gotta be careful."

I pointed the gun down range, with my Uncle stepping forward to correct my stance slightly.

"Okay, now grip it tightly." He said, "And when you're ready, pull the trigger."

He slid a pair of noise cancelling headphones onto my head to cancel out most of the sound of the shot. I clenched my eyes shut, and took a calming breath.

I moved my finger to the trigger, and slowly, I pulled it back.

POP.

The gun leapt in my hand, making me jump. It wasn't a very violent recoil, in fact it was light I barely had to readjust my aim, but it still took me by surprise. I looked at my Uncle for further instruction.

"Good. Didn't jump as badly as I thought you would. Go Again." Uncle Evan said, "Keep going until you're used to the recoil and then we'll move up to live ammo."

I nodded and replaced the headphones. I pointed the gun back down the range. I pulled the trigger until I heard a click, signaling that I was empty.

I turned back to my Uncle.

"I think I'm used to it now." I said.

"Okay, load it up with live rounds." He said. "

I did as I was told. I noticed that the live rounds felt a little heavier than the blanks, but the reasoning for that was obvious.

"As you pull the trigger, exhale slowly." My Uncle instructed, "Squeeze the trigger, don't jerk it. You'll miss it by a mile if you do that. Try not to flinch. Fire at the target down range when you're ready."

I nodded in comprehension. I pointed the gun down the range. I looked down the sights, aligning my aim with the head of the practice dummy.

I breathed in deeply, and as I exhaled, I squeezed the trigger.

POP.

"Good. Keep going." My Uncle said, "Don't just aim for the head. Aim for the chest."

I did as he was told until I heard the telltale click of an empty magazine.

"Okay, let's go see how you did."

I put the gun back down on the counter, flicking the safety on out of reflex. He went down range and retrieved the dummy.

"Color me impressed." He said, "Exceptional for a first time."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. Seventeen live shots fired, and out of those, fourteen hits, two of which are to the head, the rest of which are in the chest. I'm counting... eight kill shots."

"Damn Connor." Jude said. I grinned at him.

"Your turn."

He smirked and stepped up to the booth next to mine. I stood back, standing next to Stef, watching as my Uncle instructed my boyfriend.

Jude popped the cylinder of the gun open, and loaded the six blank cartridges into it. He pointed the gun down range.

"Okay, now you got to grip it tightly."

Jude's grip on the gun was nearly white knuckled.

"Be ready for the kickback." My Uncle said, "This thing is gonna buck pretty hard. Fire when ready."

Jude nodded, a determined glint in his eye.

Without another second's hesitation, he squeezed the trigger.

The revolver bucked in his hand with an almighty BANG. I was proud to notice that he didn't flinch as badly as I did. He pulled the trigger again, and the same thing happened. He turned to my Uncle.

"It's not as bad as I thought it'd be." Jude said, his tone one of surprise, "I thought it would be a lot worse."

He fired it until the remaining four blanks had been used.

"Can I try live ammo now?" Jude asked.

"You sure you're ready?" My Uncle asked.

Jude nodded.

"Okay. Go for it."

Jude opened the cylinder and inserted the six live bullets into it. He spun the cylinder once before snapping it closed. He pointed it back down range, and fired.

Again, the gun let out an almighty BANG, and jumped in Jude's grip. Jude narrowed his eyes at the dummy. I knew what he was doing. He was imagining that the dummy was somebody he hated. With a soft growl, he fired again and again until the gun clicked empty. He sat the gun down, and turned to me as my Uncle went to retrieve the dummy.

"That was weirdly therapeutic." He said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I was imagining the dummy was Liam." He admitted softly, "Is that bad?"

"Not to me. No." I said.

"Jesus Christ, Foster. You sure you haven't done this before?"

We all turned towards my Uncle's shocked exclamation.

"Yeah pretty sure." Jude said, "Why? Did I do good?"

"Good? More like spectacular. Three in the head, three in the chest." He said, "You did better than I did the first time I shot that thing."

Jude looked thunderstruck.

"Um. Wow... uh. Really?" He mumbled incoherently.

"Yeah. Really." He said, before stepping up to the booth with his own case, "We gotta go pretty soon, so I'm gonna fire off a couple with this before we go."

He opened it and pulled out a bunch of parts and started piecing the gun together.

It looked old. The stock was made of wood, and it had a round magazine.

"What kind of gun is that?" Jude asked.

"Thompson Submachine Gun." I answered, recognizing it, "I saw it an old gangster movie once. You can use in a lot of the Call of Duty games."

"Oh yeah. Tommy Gun." Jude said, "I remember now."

My uncle pointed it down range, and with a devilish smile, pulled the trigger.

I loud series of pops erupted as the antique gun sprayed the whole range with bullets. It only lasted for a few seconds before the gun clicked empty.

"Alright." He said, "Now that I got that out of my system."

Jude and I collected the Glock and the Python, put them back in their cases, and held them out for my Uncle to take.

I didn't expect his response.

"Keep them."

We both stared at him in disbelief.

"Huh?"

"You picked them." He said, "You know them inside out. You get to keep them. And when you turn 18 and get your concealed weapons permits, you'll get to carry them. They're yours. Jude, when it's not at the range, Stef is gonna keep it in her room. Connor, your dad is gonna hold yours. Understood?"

"Yeah. Understood."


	20. Discussion

Connor's POV, November 23rd 2018:

The rest of middle school passed with what seemed like no time at all, and so did the first three years of high school. The whole of the remaining members of our group were seniors. Throughout high school, Jude and I's relationship continued to grow and evolve, and had only gotten stronger. I was still madly in love with him, and he was still madly in love with me. I had no doubt in my mind that nothing could tear us apart. I knew we would be together forever.

Jude and I were sitting in his bedroom doing our homework, five days after his 18th Birthday. My mind briefly meandered back to a moment years ago when we were in this same position, before we were officially together. Every few seconds, Jude's foot would rub against mine. The only sounds in the room were the scratching of my pencil and Jude's fountain pen, as well as the easy sound of our breathing. Every few seconds, I would hear Jude let out a little noise of dissatisfaction.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He looked up at me.

"Huh?"

"You keep grunting. What's wrong?" I asked.

"OH. Nothing, just this poem." He said, his pen scratching an addition onto the paper. He tapped his pen on the paper, "Dammit. Out of ink."

He hopped off the bed and marched over to his desk. He plucked one of the ink refills from his penholder and unscrewed the cap of the pen and inserted it. Instead of sitting down on the bed, he sat next to me on the floor and leaned his head on my shoulder. I smiled. Even after dating for almost five years, I still get a jolt of thrill when he shows affection.

"Still can't believe you're taking AP Poetry III."

Jude took Poetry I in eighth grade. He loved it so much, that in Freshman Year, he took Poetry II. Sophomore Year, he took AP Poetry. Junior Year? AP Poetry II. It boggled my mind that he can continue to come up with new stuff without dipping into his archive from previous years.

"Well, I like writing poetry, so... anyway. What are you working on?" He asked me.

"Work for creative writing III." I answered.

"Oh, and you make fun of me for taking AP Poetry III. Just because you waited two years to take it. What are you writing about?" He asked.

"Well, the assignment was to write something with angst." I said, "So I'm writing about our first fight, but I'm changing the names in the story."

"What, when we ended up screaming at each other over the whole gun thing?" He asked.

"Yep." I confirmed, "I couldn't think of anything else, and that was definitely angsty. "

He nodded.

"What are you working?" I asked him.

"Poetry. The assignment was to write a poem that told a dark story." He said.

"Really?" I asked, "What are you using?"

"Remember the day you came out to Jax and the guys?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"You said that your dad had wanted to try to send you to a conversion camp out of state." He clarified, "I used that. Built on it, added undertones of insanity and a happy ending."

"You wrote a poem about a conversion camp victim?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"In about five minutes." He said, "I know. It's a bit strange. But it's the only thing I could think of."

"How's it turning out so far?" I asked.

"I've finished it three times." He said, "But I always find something wrong with it. This is as good as I think it's gonna get. It doesn't have as much graphic detail as the first draft did."

"You want me to read it?" I asked.

"You sure you want to?" He asked.

"I don't mind." I said, holding out my hand to take the notebook.

He handed it to me. I looked it over for a second and then began to read it aloud.

"I woke up in here today,  
With my sanity beaten and frayed.  
I have been betrayed  
By those I love.

For now, I lay here crying  
With my sanity slowly dying.  
The fear I feel is intensifying  
To the point of petrifying.

I lay in here  
Trembling in fear.  
They strapped me to the bed.  
I need to get outta here, dammit!  
NOTHINGS WRONG WITH MY HEAD!

Except the voices that speak to me,  
Telling me to keep alive and breathing  
From them all my pain is retreating.  
They all agree with what I say.  
I can be who I was Born to be.

Will hell's wonders ever cease?  
The pain has just increased!  
When the guard's beatings came,  
It made my dad look tame

At night, the nightmares came  
Eternal replay of a memory to blame  
They're treating me this way  
Because I came out gay.

They called me fag and fool,  
They used me as a tool.  
They were so depraved,  
I became their slave.

They called me a disgrace  
When they trapped me here.  
Now I'm in a race  
To escape this hell.

Daily the voices speak to me,  
Telling me to keep alive and breathing.  
From them my pain is retreating.  
They all agree with what I say.  
I can be who I was Born to Be

I refused to conform and obey.  
It's MY FUCKING LIFE!  
You don't get a say,  
Cause I was BORN THIS WAY

Not long, was the wait.  
I ran, and I made it to the gate.  
I climbed the wall and jumped from the top.  
I ran and ran and never stopped.

50 years has passed since the day.  
So much has changed.  
I'm still gay,  
But now I'm married,  
And the families still estranged.

Now I'm happy with who I am  
If they can't bear it  
If they don't like it  
Guess what? I don't give a damn  
I am who I am.

The voices no longer speak to me  
I keep myself alive and breathing  
Now from friends my pain is retreating  
They all agree with me  
I can be who I was Born to Be."

I turned to Jude and raised an eyebrow.

"Wow. Um. Well... it is dark. You were right about that." I said, "I liked the happy ending though."

"It's terrible isn't it?" Jude asked, dejected.

"No, it's a good poem." I assured him, "It shows that no matter how bad things get, they always get better if you fight for it."

"Oh. I didn't think of it like that." Jude said, thoughtfully, "That's good. I like that."

"You should show that to Jax and Jeremy." I said, "They could turn it into a groove metal song."

Jude guffawed at that.

"Oh god." He said, "I just might. I would love to see what they come up with."

Jeremy and Jax had become extremely close during our high school career. They had become as close as they could get without dating each other, which is never gonna happen since Jax is straight and with Daria and Jeremy is absolutely in love with Austin. They bonded over music, and since Jax played guitar, and Jeremy played bass, they started writing music together and enlisted Austin into singing, and Castor into playing drums with them in a makeshift band. They actually weren't that bad. They were actually pretty good. A lot better than Brandon's band ever was. They were actually able to record a eight song demo, courtesy of my Uncle Evan, who has a recording studio in his basement. So far, only Jude and I have been allowed to listen to it.

"Have they came up with a name for the band yet?" Jude asked.

"Yeah, Jeremy came up with the name. They're calling it Cold Embrace." I said.

"Isn't that a Testament song?" He asked.

I smiled softly.

"What?" He asked.

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"If somebody had told me when we started dating that you would end up being a metal head, I would have laughed in their face."

He laughed.

"I like it." He said, "It's not mind numbingly stupid and irritating like pop and rap is nowadays. I swear to god if I hear another rap song about making money, getting drunk, high, and laid, I might go on a rampage."

"Come on, some of it's not that bad."

"Maybe not for a troglodyte with no musical taste, no offense."

"Haha." I deadpanned, "I never said that I liked that crap, I'm just saying that not all pop and rap is like that. Macklemore has some good stuff."

"Yeah, I'll concede that." He said, "But other than him?"

"There's gotta be some other good ones out there." I said.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Never mind."

"How are things at home?" He asked.

"Good. Really good. It's nice to have the whole family together again." I said.

"How's your mom and dad doing now that they're back together?" He asked.

"They're happy." I said, smiling wide, "I'm happy. I can hardly believe how good things are going."

"How are you doing?" He asked, "With the whole depression thing?"

"Well, I'm doing a lot better. I still have bad days," I admit, "And I still have to take my anti depressants, but now, I have more good days than bad ones. I don't know whether or not it'll ever completely go away. But I'm optimistic."

"That's good." He said, "When was the last bad day you had?"

"Couple of weeks ago." I admit, "It was that day I didn't come to school. I woke up, and I just... I could barely get out of bed. I just felt really sad, and I didn't know why. I told mom and dad about it, and they called in and told the school that I wasn't coming in. I just laid in bed the whole day, until you came over after school to check on me. I started feeling a little bit better after that. You always make me feel better."

"Insert innuendo here." He joked.

I punched him on the arm jokingly.

"Shut up." I laughed, "I guess that's kind of a good thing though isn't it?"

"What is?" He asked.

"The fact that you can make sexual innuendos without looking like you wanna throw up." I said, " It's good to see that you're able to move past what Liam did to you. And you're more open to... you know... doing stuff."

"Well, I'm doing it with you." He said simply, albeit with a light blush on his cheeks, "I trust you. I love you. I know you're not gonna hurt me. I know you're not gonna push me to do anything I don't wanna do. I don't feel scared of it when it's with you."

"I'm still a little surprised that you're willing to do anything of that nature."

That's one thing I like about our relationship. We don't mince words. When we talk about our issues, like my depression and Jude's rape trauma, we never dance around anything. We can speak about sexual stuff, even if we do blush too deep a shade of red.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, we haven't done much." I said, "I'm just surprised you're willing to do anything. After what Liam did to you... If it was me that it had happened to, I don't think I would have been as strong."

"I know, and I'm still not ready for anything more than what we've already done." He said, "I won't be for a while. But what surprised you the most? I'm curious."

"Ummmmm. Honestly?" I asked with a blush, he nodded, "Probably when we first tried oral on your 18th Birthday."

"Really?" He asked, his blush equaling mine.

"Yeah."

"Why does that surprise you?"

"Well," I started, "The thing that surprised me, is that YOU brought it up, and said you wanted to try it. I thought I heard you wrong."

He laughed and shrugged.

"I know, you were so worried about me, it was almost like you tried to talk me out of it." He said, "I lost count of how many times you asked me if I was sure I was ready, if I was sure I wanted to do it, and how many times you said that we didn't have to and that we could wait. It makes me happy to know that you care so much."

He paused to draw breath.

"I... I just felt like I was ready, you know?" He said, "We've been together since seventh grade. Five years. I love you, more than anything in the world. Everything we do together... it's something special. It doesn't scare me as much anymore. It's done out of love, and it always makes me feel so safe when I'm with you. I just felt... like I was ready to feel something more with you, you know?"

I couldn't help but blush.

"Am I the only one out of the two us who thinks this is kind of surreal?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Just how far we've come. No pun intended." I explained, grinning at the glare he gave me, "In seventh grade, I was a hopeless closet case playing around with his best friends feelings like a kitten with a ball of yarn. Now, here we sit. My best friend's now my boyfriend, and we're having a very deep discussion about... well, you know... That."

He snorted a laugh.

"Such a way with words." He said, his voice thick with laughter.

"It's true though." I said.

"Yeah, it is." He admits, "Really surreal. In seventh grade, I couldn't imagine doing that without feeling sick at the thought. Now though..."

He trailed off and blushed.

"What?"

"Never mind. It's silly." He said.

"No. Tell me, it's okay." I assured him.

"It's just..." Jude said, "I never thought I'd be able to have this kind of relationship, after what Liam did to me, and I used to be terrified at the thought of it. I knew that it would have to be somebody really special to break through that wall, but... I never thought I would reach that point. But you... you're the only one I've ever felt safe with, comfortable with. You've never pushed me. You've always let me make the first moves, and you've always moved at my pace. I know that this'll last. I couldn't be myself, my true self, with anybody but you. I know it's cliché, but... you're my soul mate, Connor."

I couldn't stop the smile that came over my face, as I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips.

"I love you so much, Jude." I said, smiling widely, "I know we used to have our doubts about how long we would last, but I think you're right. We've been through so much together. We've weathered every storm that the world has thrown at us. You've been so many firsts for me. My first crush. My first kiss that meant something. My first, and only, and probably last, boyfriend. My first real date. My first dance. And I know that someday, we'll be each other's husband too. I don't need to... to have sex to know that we'll always be together, and I don't care how long it takes... as long as you're my first, it'll be worth it. As long as I'm with you, the sun could die and the Earth could freeze, and I'd be the happiest man on Earth."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, and I could see that Jude was in the same boat.

He leaned in a cupped my cheek with his hand, caressing it with his thumb, and choked out a teary laugh, as he leaned in and pressed another loving kiss to my lips. He wrapped his arms around my torso, and cuddled up with me, our homework discarded and forgotten.

In that moment, nothing else in the world mattered. As long as Jude was in my arms, I could take on any challenge that the world could throw our way.

And there was no place I would rather be.


	21. Confrontation

Connor's POV April 20th 2019:

Today was an important day.

Jude and I's college letters finally came in the mail this morning. I had called him frantic, and had rushed over to his house, to be met by my boyfriend bouncing on the heels of his feet. We then proceeded to screech frantically when we read our acceptance letters.

Jude and I were both going to UC San Diego.

We decided to celebrate with a day out, starting with a long walk through the park. Jude ran upstairs to retrieve his jacket, gun and holster, and we drove to my house to get mine.

Funny how the one thing Jude and I never forget when we go out in public is our guns.

Ever since Jude and I got our concealed weapons permits, that's one thing we never forget when we leave the house. I keep my Glock tucked into the back of my pants, while Jude keeps his Python tucked into the inside pocket of his long coat. We never leave without them loaded either.

We were out at the park, just walking, spending time together, enjoying the California winter, hands linked at all times. Every few seconds we would look at each other and smile. I took a second to study my boyfriend with a dopy smile.

Jude Adams Foster has changed a lot over the six years I have know him, and the five years I have dated him. He was more confident in himself. His temper was sharper, and he had a habit of being sassy when he's irritated. He held himself differently. He was no longer haunted by the trauma of his past. He looked different. He's taller. He and I are the same exact height. His hair had grown to fall to his shoulders, curling at the end, his bangs long enough to tuck behind his ears. His once lean and wiry body was now toned, from the countless hours he spent working out after I taught him how. He had a long scar along the side of his face from where my dog, Buster, had scratched him when we first got him. He had taken to wearing more jewelry, as well. He wore his class ring on his right ring finger, and four other rings on various fingers. He had traded his old watch in for a new one. A silver pocket watch that his dad, Donald, had gifted him on his eighteenth birthday. One thing that hadn't changed, was the coat of blue nail polish that adorned his fingers.

I've changed a lot too.

My hair was longer too, although not to the extent that Jude's was, because my hair get's extremely curly when it grows out like that. My physique had improved right along with Jude's, even though I was already buff when we started going out. Jude likes to jokingly ask me when I'm going to enter weight lifting competitions. My sense of dress was still the same. The only real addition to my normal ensemble of faded jeans and a flannel shirt was the black leather jacket that my Uncle gave me and the baseball cap that I wore. I still suffered from depression, although not to the extent that I used to. As long as I take the anti depressants, I'm usually fine.

I'm also going to be a big brother in a few months.

My parents dropped the news on me a week after Jude turned eighteen, that my mom was six weeks pregnant. The baby would be born in late August, early September. While I was surprised that my mom could still get pregnant at 40 years old, I was ecstatic, and I remember calling Jude, screaming giddily through tears of joy.

I'm shaken from my musings by Jude gently bumping shoulders with me. I make eye contact and he smiles at me.

"You okay?" He asked, "You were a million miles away for a sec."

"Yeah. I'm fine." I said, "Just happy is all."

"Me too." He said with a smile, kissing me on the cheek, "I can't believe we're going to the same college."

"I still can't believe my Uncle is paying for us to go." I said.

My Uncle Evan was paying for Jude and I to attend college. He certainly had enough money to allow him to do so, and since I was his favorite nephew and he adored Jude, that was our graduation present.

"Have you decided what you want to do yet?" He asked, "As a career?"

"I wanna be an architect. Design buildings and stuff like that." I said, "What do you want to do?"

"I wanna be a social worker." Jude said, "I mean, with my experiences in the foster care system, I feel like I could do some real good. I want to help kids like me and Callie find good homes like Stef and Lena gave us."

"You'd be good at it. You're great with kids."

"Speaking of kids, you looking forward to having a sibling?" He asked.

"Yeah. I really am." I said, "A few years ago, I would have laughed at the idea and called it a pipe dream, but now it's fricken happening! GAH, I'm so excited."

"You'll be a great big brother." Jude said.

Suddenly we heard a voice coming from our right side, and the happy tranquility of the morning was shattered.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is. Jude Jacob in the flesh."

I felt Jude slam to a halt, and I turned to face him. His face was white, his eyes wide. His hand tightened on mine to a vice grip that actually hurt slightly. We turned to the voice

"What no hell or nothing?" The voice asked, "And you've got a boy toy now, do you? Always knew you were a queer, Jacob."

It was a man. Tall, muscular, short brown hair.

"It's Adams Foster now." Jude snarled, "You vile waste of blood and organs."

"Such disrespect." The man said, "Is that any way to talk to your old foster brother."

My eyes flew wide at that statement. I knew who he was.

This was Liam.

I wanted nothing more than to reach for my gun, but Jude had a vice grip on my shooting hand.

"When they raped me? Yes. That's exactly how I speak to them." Jude said, his voice laced with cold venom, "I thought you were in prison. How'd you get out?"

"Overcrowding." Liam sneered, "And good behavior didn't harm my chances either."

He took an arrogant step closer, and Jude's hand flew into his jacket, and drew his revolver.

"Take another step closer, I fuckin dare you." He snarled.

"I doubt you know how to use that, Juju." Liam sneered and took another step closer.

Jude's eye twitched, and his teeth were bared in a snarl. Jude cocked the gun and flicked the safety off, his finger resting on the .

"You want to press your luck?" He asked, a dangerous edge to his voice, "I should do it anyway. After what you did to me and my fucking sister, you deserve nothing less."

"Your sister was practically begging for it." Liam sneered.

"Oh and I WAS?" Jude screamed at him, "I was EIGHT FUCKING YEARS OLD, you WORTHLESS TROGLODYTE! You FUCKED AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BECOME YOUR BROTHER!"

"You're lucky Jude's got a hold of my hand, Olmstead." I snarled, finally speaking up, "Or you'd have a nice 9mm bullet right in the middle of your skull."

"Oh, so the muscle head does speak."

"The name's Stevens. Connor Stevens." I said, "I'm the one who put Jude back together after what you did to him, you sick monster."

"Oh and he's got a mouth on him too?" Liam sneered lecherously.

I opened my jacket to show the Glock in its holster.

"Guess what else I've got?" I said.

"We could kill you right now." Jude said, "My mom's a police officer, she could make it look like a complete accident."

He sneered at us.

"You think you can threaten me, you little punk?" Liam snarled, "I warned you that if you ever told anybody about that, you'd pay. I'm gonna enjoy this, you and your little boyfriend."

Liam's hand went to the pocket of his own jacket. I barely had time to think about how stupid of a move that was, when Jude and I saw a flash of silver at the exact same time, and Jude reacted first.

BANG!

I jumped as Jude's revolver jumped in his grip and Liam fell to the ground screaming, clutching his ruined knee. Jude dropped my hand and I rushed forward, grabbing the small pistol that Liam had dropped with the sleeve of my jacket, kicking him in the ribs once for good measure.

I turned and rushed back to Jude, who had dropped to his knees and was shaking.

"Jude? JUDE? Look at me?"

He did.

"I'm gonna call Stef, okay?" I said, "Sit here, okay?"

I withdrew my phone from my pocket and dialed Stef's number.

"What is it Connor, I'm on duty." She asked through the phone.

"Jude and I need you. We're at the park we like to go to." I said, starting to shake myself.

"What happened" She asked, and I could hear the sirens turn on in the background, "Are you two okay?"

"Did you know they released Liam from prison?" I asked.

"THEY WHAT?"

"We ran into him at the park." I said, "He taunted us. Threatened Jude, tried to draw a gun on us. Jude... Jude shot him. In the knee."

"Mike and I are on our way with an ambulance. Is Jude okay?" She asked.

I turned to look at Jude. He was just staring at Liam writhing on the ground in pain.

I could see tears leaking from his eyes...

And then he started to chuckle, and it quickly elevated to near hysterical laughter. The tears kept pouring down his cheeks as he guffawed.

"He's, on his knees, staring at him. He's laughing." I said fearfully, "I think he might have lost it. Hurry up and get here."

I hung up the phone and rushed to Jude's side, falling to my own knees and wrapping him in a tight embrace.

Almost immediately, his laughter turned to sobs. Harsh, shoulder shuddering sobs.

"I-I d-didn't m-mean t-to d-d-do that!" He sobbed hysterically, "I-I j-just r-r-reacted! H-he t-threatened y-you!"

"It's okay, JJ. Stef's on her way with Mike. You're okay. I'm okay. It's over." I said, "He tried to assault us. He's going right back to jail. It's over."

"It's over?"

"Over."

I heard sirens in the distance, and five minutes later, Stef and Mike are running toward us. They both had a look of fury on their faces as they approached Liam. Mike forced his hands behind his back and put handcuffs on him.

"Liam Olmstead, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be assigned to you by the court. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

Jude and I tuned out as Stef helped us to our feet. Jude shakily replaced his revolver in its holster. Stef walked us to my car, my arms around Jude the whole way.

"Take him home. Take care of him. I'll get your statements later." She said, "I'm so sorry this happened."

"S'not yer fault." Jude mumbled as he got in the car. I nodded at Stef and got in as well.

Five minutes into the drive, I turned to Jude, who had relaxed into the seat of the car.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He turned his head to look at me, and offered a small smile and nod.

"I'm free. I'm finally free."


	22. Battle of Anchor Beach

Connor's POV:

It's been a week since the park incident, and Jude and I had returned to Anchor Beach at the request of our parents. They figured that after what happened, it would be best for Jude and I to go back to our regular routines of school, homework, and maintaining our relationship.

We were sitting in Chemistry together, at the back of the room, and I was staring at the board in a daze, not understanding a single thing the teacher was saying. I nudged Jude's ankle with my own to get his attention.

"What?" He whispered.

"Are you getting any of this?" I asked.

"Barely." He said, "I'll ask Callie for help later if she's home."

"Yeah, I'll have to ask my Uncle. He's good at this sort of thing." I said.

"Your Uncle is good at everything though," Jude pointed out, "It's kind of scary. He's like a demigod."

"Haha." I laughed, "I'll be right back, I gotta go to the bathroom."

I raised my hand and got the teachers attention. She signed a bathroom pass and I left the room. I meandered down the hallway at my slowest pace, purposefully taking as much time as I could possibly could to avoid spending as much time being bored to death in class.

Then I heard a scream.

BANG! Thud.

I jumped.

"No." I muttered.

BANG!

I turned around and bolted for the farthest bathroom from the noise.

There was no mistaking what the sound was.

It was gunfire.

"Attention staff and students, the school is now in lockdown. We have multiple armed intruders in the building. Code red. The police have been notified."

I barely paid Lena's voice any mind as it filtered through the PA system. All I knew was that I had to find a place to hide. I ducked into the bathroom and ran for the biggest stall. I slammed the door and locked myself in. I backed up against the wall and sunk to a sitting position. I pulled my knees up to my chest and started to cry softly.

I checked my watch.

It was only 9:36 in the morning.

Somebody was shooting people in my school.

I heard somebody get shot.

"I can't believe this is fucking happening." I whispered.

I hoped Jude was okay. He was probably scared to death right now.

My mind drifted to everybody else I cared about. Jax and Daria, who were in Calculus on the other side of the school. Lena, who was probably barricading herself in her office, talking frantically on the phone with Stef. Jeremy, Austin, Taylor, Wynston, Ritchie...

"Please let them be okay."

BANG. BANG. BANG.

The shots were too close.

They were right outside the door.

"Please. Please god?" I whimpered, "I've never begged you for anything before, but please let them be okay? Please let us all be okay?"

That's when I hear the voices.

"I don't give a fuck." One voice said, "I want the little queer dead. This is where he goes to school. Jeremy can't hide forever. Kill as many as you want, as long as the little bastard I call my nephew is one of them."

A couple of other voices answered in the affirmative. I realized who the main shooter was.

It was Jeremy's psycho uncle.

"One of you go in there." Jeremy's uncle said, "Kill anybody inside."

And then the door to the bathroom opened. I tried to stifle a whimper, but it was too late.

"Ooooh, somebody's in here." The new voice said in a singsong voice.

The first stall door flew open with a bang.

"I wonder which gun I should use. I brought three." He continued to singsong.

The second stall door flew open with a bang.

I thought about what he had just said. Three guns? If I could get one of them... I could fight back? I shook my head to clear the thought. In the distance I heard more screams and gunshots. I would probably be killed before I could get anywhere close to the gun.

"Hiding in the cripple stall huh? Too easy."

Tears streamed down my face. I knew I was about to die.

The stall door flew open with a bang, the lock breaking.

The man stood there, towering over me, and evil grin on his face. He was short, but had a ton of muscle, and he had a pistol on each hip and one in his hand, pointed right between my eyes.

"Well, well, well. Look at what we have here." He sneered, "Little baby cryin in the cripple stall. Any last words?"

I glared defiantly into his eyes.

If I was gonna die, I wasn't gonna cower. I felt my common sense fly out the window.

"Do it."

The man raised an eyebrow.

"I SAID DO IT!" I screamed, "YOU SON OF BITCH!"

"With pleasure."

His finger was on the trigger, and I continued to glare defiantly.

He pulled the trigger...

...But not before something plowed into him, knocking him against the wall.

The bullet only missed my head by an inch. My ears were ringing, and my eyes were hazy from the flash. I could make out a struggle, but I couldn't tell who was winning. After a few seconds, I heard an almighty thump and something heavy hit the floor..

"Thank god, you're okay."

I knew that voice anywhere.

"JUDE!" I screamed and launched myself to my feet and into his arms.

He was holding a very thick chemistry text book in one hand, and a rock in the other.

"I thought you were the one who got shot." He said, "Right after the left the first shot went off."

"I'm okay. I promise." I assured him shakily, "If you hadn't showed up when you did..."

"I know. Let's not think about that." He said, looking over at the unconscious man.

"What are we gonna go Connor?" He asked, "The police are on their way, but it's taking too long. I counted eleven of them, Connor."

"Jeremy's uncle is leading them," I said, "I overheard him say that as long as Jeremy was one of them, he didn't care how many died."

"We have to do something." Jude said frantically, "But what?"

"I don't know. What are you thinking?"

He paused for a second, and then went over to the man, and picked up the gun that was laying discarded at his side. He stared at it.

"We may not live through today." Jude said, his voice thick with fear, "You know that right?"

I nodded.

"We have to fight." He continued, "We have to try."

"What's the plan?" I asked.

"I was thinking Mom's office, but it's too far to get to without being seen" He said.

"We're gonna be seen anyway Jude." I said, "You have your phone?"

He nodded.

"Can I borrow it for a sec?" I asked, "I wanna call mom and dad. Tell them I love 'em. Just in case."

Jude handed me his phone, and I dialed the number. It picked up immediately, and I put it on speaker phone.

"JUDE?" My mom's voice answered.

"It's me momma." I said.

"CONNOR!" She screamed, "Thank god! Are you okay, sweetie."

"I'm not hurt, if that's what you're asking," I said shakily, "I'm with Jude right now. He just save my life. We uh, we're in the bathroom right now, staring at one of the shooters."

"WHAT?!" My dad's voice echoed over the phone

"He's unconscious." I assured shakily, "He was about to kill me, but Jude got here in time. Beat him half to death with a chemistry book."

"But you ARE both okay?" Callie's voice asked.

"Yeah." Jude interjected, "Who all is there?"

"Everybody." Brandon's voice said.

"We're all gathered at the house." Jesus said.

"Mom is already down there." Mariana said, "What are you two gonna do?"

Jude and I shared a look.

"The guys Jude knocked out had three guns." I said, "Ton of ammo."

"We gotta get out of here." Jude said, "The others will already have got out. Taylor always said that if this kind of thing happened, bust out a window and climb out and run for it."

"But we're in an interior room." I said, "So we'll have to get to an exit. Which means we might have to defend ourselves."

"Be careful you two." Dad said.

"We will." Jude said. "We love you guys. If anything happens... just remember that."

"Stay safe." Mom said, and the line went dead.

Jude and I shared a look.

"I'm scared, Jude." I said, "I'm really fucking scared."

"Me too." He said.

I wrapped him in a hug, and gave him a kiss.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Connor." He said, releasing me from the embrace, "Let's do this."

We stripped the ammo and the third gun from the man's unconscious body. We cocked the guns we held, and slowly, ever so slowly, we left the bathroom, Me in front, and Jude behind me.

It was eerie how quiet it was. No screams, and no gunshots...

At least for a few minutes.

As we turned the corner, a shot rang out, and Jude and I through ourselves behind a wall as bullets flew at us.

Jude reacted first, and stuck his gun around the corner and fired blindly back.

"What the FUCK? HOW'D THEY GET GUNS?" The shooter shouted.

Jude and I ran down the hallway at full tilt. I looked back to see that one of them was chasing us. I aimed at him and fired.

"KEEP RUNNING JUDE!"

We turned the corner and at the end of the hallway there was an open classroom door.

"RUN FOR THAT ROOM!" Jude screamed.

I aimed the gun at the window in the room and fired, shattering it. We leapt through the window into the sunshine, and immediately it got louder.

People were screaming. Kids were crying. Police sirens were blaring. We approached a cop car.

"JUDE? CONNOR?"

We whipped around to see Stef and Lena marching toward us.

"MOM!" Jude screamed as she swept us both into an embrace.

"Thank god you boys are alright." She said, tears leaking down her face, "The school's been evacuated, but we couldn't find you two."

"Is everybody else okay?" I asked, "Jax, Daria, Austin, Jeremy, Ritchie, Wynston, Taylor?

"Everybody's out." Lena said, "Jax, Austin and Jeremy are on the way to the hospital right now, but the others are in the crowd somewhere."

"What happened to them?"

They went out a window like you two did." Stef said, "Jeremy was the last one out, and he got hit in the shoulder on the way out. Jax is in shock, and Austin wouldn't leave Jeremy's side."

"Dammit." Jude swore.

"The lead shooter is Jeremy's uncle." I told them.

No sooner had I said that than shots rang out and bullets hit the car. Jude and I wheeled around in sheer panic and fired back. Lena dove across the hood of the cop car to safety.

"Don't stop firing!" Stef shouted at us as she and the SWAT team opened fire too. My gun quickly ran out of ammo.

Faced with overwhelming resistance, all but one of the shooters fled back into the building.

Jeremy's uncle had broken free, and was running straight at me. My gun was out of ammo. I had no time to reload. I had no way of defending myself. Everybody I knew and cared about was safe.

I closed my eyes tight.

BANG!

I jumped and my eyes shot open just in time to see him crumple to the ground.

Everybody was staring at something to my left.

I turned, and for the first time in almost five years, came face to face with somebody who I never expected to see again.

I gasped in unconcealed shock.

My grandfather had just saved my life.


	23. Viva Las Vegas

Connor's POV:

After the shooting at Anchor Beach they closed the school down for a week. During the following week, the funerals were held, and a small memorial was put up in the courtyard of the school. Jude and I would barely leave each others side. I was suffering from nightmares, in which Jude didn't arrive in time to save me, or it was Jude in my place and I wasn't in time. Every night, at least once, Jude or I would wake up in frantic tears and call the other on the phone.

Most shocking was the return of my grandfather, and his cautious acceptance of my sexuality, as well as my relationship with Jude. When asked why he was there, he responded by saying that he had been in town to talk to my parents, as well as to apologize to Jude and I for his behavior at the family dinner years previously. Apparently my grandmother had screamed sense into, and dragged him to a more progressive church. With her help, and help from his new church, he was able to let go of most of his old prejudice and realized how big of a mistake he had made. It felt good to know that he didn't hate me or Jude. I couldn't help but laugh and nearly cry in happiness when he gave both Jude and I a hug.

When school was allowed to resume, it was only a week until spring break. Jude and I entered the school with the rest of our group to stares and applause.

Word had got out of our actions during the shooting, and the story spread like wildfire, and Jude and I found out that we weren't the only ones in our group that took action.

During the shooting, while Jude and I fought our way out, Taylor and Daria had helped a group of twelve seventh graders escape, after they had helped Jeremy and Austin escape with Jax, before escaping themselves. Ritchie and Wynston, who were in the Gym at the time, had taken down one of the shooters with a couple of baseball bats in defense of fifteen of their classmates.

People hugged us all, and thanked us.

The week quickly passed, and spring break had finally arrived, and Brandon, Jesus, my Uncle and I had conspired together to make it the best that it could possibly be. We had been meeting in secret once a week to plan the trip that we all hoped would become legendary. Something to replace the memory of the ordeal we had suffered through just a week before.

We forgot, however, somewhat on purpose, to mention our plan to Jude.

We knew of course, that upon the reveal of our plan, he would be one of three things.

I predicted that he would be skeptical. Jesus said he would be outright against it, while Brandon thought he would be all for it.

He was of course, as I had predicted, skeptical.

"Okay." He said, "Let me get this straight... we, as in the four of us, are going, with approval from moms, my dad and Adam, to Las freaking Vegas for a week."

Jesus, Brandon and I nodded enthusiastically.

"How, in the name of all that is holy, good and pure, did you manage to convince them to approve this plan?" Jude asked skeptically.

"Well," Brandon said, " You're responsible. They know that the three of us won't get into any trouble, and that we can keep Jesus out of trouble. You two are eighteen now, so you're both old enough to go gambling in the casinos."

He gave Jude a pointed look. Jude responded by cracking open a can of Mountain Dew.

"And Connor's Uncle Evan and Grandpa Alex are paying for the trip." Jesus continued, "So most of Moms' worries are put to bed."

"I still can barely believe they've booked us suites at the Bellagio for the whole week. Grandpa is trying really hard to make it up to me for taking so long to accept me being gay." I said, "Plus Uncle Evan told me that he's giving Jude gambling money."

"Haha, he knows it's a safe investment." Jesus joked, "Five bucks says that at the end of this trip, Jude'll have enough money to buy a brand new car."

"Or he wins one from somebody." I joked.

"I'll take that bet." Brandon said, and we shook on it.

"Oh hahaha." Jude deadpanned, "You three are fucking hilarious. Absolutely side splitting, you are,"

"Jude, you know it's true." I said, "Do you know how much money he's giving you to gamble with?"

"Oh I don't know, $50?" He said sarcastically.

"Nope. He's giving you three thousand dollars." I said.

"Haha. Very funny." Jude said, taking a drink from his Mountain Dew.

"Know what else is funny?" I asked, "I'm not kidding."

Jude's eyes widened to the size of satellite dishes, and he spat his mouthful of Mountain Dew across the room. Jesus swore as he dove out of the way of the geyser of citrusy soft drink.

"Are you fuckin' serious?" Jude sputtered in shock, wiping his mouth.

"Yep." I said, "All he wants in return is for us to bring him back a souvenir from that pawn shop that was in the history channel show they canceled last year."

"Okay, I can do that. Moving on. How are we getting there?" Jude asked.

"We're driving." I said, "Jesus doesn't trust airplanes, and Brandon and I both hate heights as much as you hate Nickelback, so driving is pretty much the only way we're gonna get there. Jesus and Brandon are taking the SUV. You and I are riding in my Cadillac."

"You got the air conditioning fixed right?" Jude asked, "Because I am not riding into a desert in a forty year old Cadillac with no air conditioning."

"Yeah, it's fixed," I said, "Your dad fixed it for me free of charge."

My car is an ancient Cadillac Brougham Sedan that I bought with my own money for $500 when I turned sixteen. It took a long time to get it in proper working order. I loved my car.

Jude had worse luck with his when he had it.

Jude's car had been an old Toyota Camry that Stef and Lena bought him for his sixteenth birthday. It had only cost $300, and since it was cheap, it was on its last legs when he first got it. He had only had it for three months when it died. We were leaving the beach one day, and the engine and transmission gave out. Well, when I say gave out, I mean the engine block had a crack in it and was spitting chunks of metal as we coasted to a stop in the middle of the street, and then caught fire. They had to scrap it. Jude, in a fit of irritated rage, put a propane tank in the trunk before they sent it through the car crusher. It exploded. Literally. We were lucky not to get arrested. Even mentioning that car was enough to earn oneself the patented "Jude Foster Epic Bitch Face Of Death". That's actually Jude's name for it.

"When are we leaving?" Jude asked.

"About that..." Jesus said.

"We're leaving in twenty minutes." I revealed, "So you might wanna pack."

Jude's eye twitched.

"You mean to tell me, that you're only giving me twenty minutes to pack for a seven day trip to Las Vegas?" He asked crossly.

"No," I said, "I'm giving you twenty minutes to pack for a weeklong trip to Las Vegas WITH my help."

He rolled his eyes, and we set about packing.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, we were on the road out of San Diego.

"How long of a trip is it to get there?" Jude asked.

"San Diego to Vegas is about 332 miles, if you take I-15 all the way there, so about 5 hours."

He winced.

"Don't worry, we'll stop a couple of times." I assured, "For gas and food and stuff. We'll stop in Primm and Goodsprings. Did you know that if you take a map of New Vegas from Fallout New Vegas, and lay it over a map of real life Vegas, the places are the same?"

"I think Jeremy's mentioned it a few times." Jude said, "Never knew it was true. That's actually pretty cool."

"I'm kind of excited to see some of the places." I said.

"That's why I'm wearing this." He said, showing off the Pip-Boy that came with the Pip-Boy edition of Fallout 4, which was firmly attached to his arm.

"I've got mine in a plastic bag in the trunk." I said, "I'll put it on when we get to Goodsprings."

Ever since Jeremy introduced us to Fallout when we first met him, Jude and I had become obsessed with the games. We each owned the original Fallout, Fallout 2, Fallout Tactics, Brotherhood of Steel, Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas, and Fallout 4. Jude joked that Fallout 4 was an early 15th birthday present to himself, since it came out November 10th 2015, just days before Jude turned fifteen. All three of us preordered the Pip-Boy edition of the game, and stood out in front of a GameStop for over thirteen hours to get it. The novelty of owning the Pip-Boy never really wore off, and Jude, being the secret nerd that he is, tends to wear his a lot... even in public. I liked to wear mine too, but not as much as Jude does. We both said that we would wear them when we visited some of the game's real life locations.

"Jeremy said he wanted us to take some pictures at all the different places." I said, "He wanted to come with us, but his dad wouldn't let him come. He's been extremely protective since... you know. He said to bring him back pictures and a souvenir."

"Well Jeremy did get shot in the shoulder." Jude said.

Conversation fell quiet after about twenty minutes, and Jude fell asleep. I couldn't help but sneak peaks at him out of the corner of my eye. He was sleeping peacefully, but I couldn't help but feel a little worried about him. In a two week span, he ran into his rapist, shot his rapist, then got involved in escaping a school shooting. That's a lot for one person to go through in such a short amount of time.

In a few hours we arrived at the California/Nevada border, and stopped for gas. The whole time, Jude stayed asleep. We continued down I-15, until we pulled off and drove until we were in Goodsprings. We pulled up in front of the Pioneer Saloon, and I shut the car off. I reached over and gently shook Jude's shoulder.

"Hey, wake up JJ." I said softly, "We're in Goodsprings."

He sat up in the chair, and blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

"Have a nice nap?" I asked.

"Uh huh." He said, "M'hungry."

"That's why we stopped here." I said, "Eat and take pictures. Come on, Jesus and Brandon already went inside."

We both got out of the car into the sweltering heat of Nevada. Jude stretched, emitting a loud groan as he did so.

I was glad we were both wearing tank tops and short with sandals or we would burn alive. I walked to the trunk of the car and opened it. I ripped open the plastic bag and extracted my Pip-Boy and put it on.

In front of us was the saloon and right next door was the general store.

"This is uncanny." Jude said shocked.

"It's really similar to the game." I said, "I heard it was close, but holy shit."

We went inside, and we quickly found Brandon and Jesus and sat down at the table. The waitress serving us handed us each a menu.

My eyes drifted down the list.

Jude snorted.

"There's a steak on here that's 36 oz, costs a hundred dollars and takes an hour to cook." He said.

"Wonder how many people have ever tried to eat that." Brandon joked.

"At least two a week." The waitress said, "Nobody has ever finished it though."

"That's fricken nuts." Jesus added.

"I'm just gonna get the cowboy burger." I said, "It's cheapest. Only $9.99."

"I'm gonna get the Lasagna dinner." Jude said, "It's $12.99. I wonder how big these portions are gonna be."

"The burger I'm getting is a half pound of meat, or that's what the menu says." I said.

"We may not have to buy food again while we're here." Jesus joked, "If the portions here are big enough, we can just heat 'em up in the microwave at the hotel. I'm getting the Chicken Tacos. It's only $7.99. Cheapest thing on here, I think."

"I'm getting the Western Dog." Brandon said, "Quarter pound hot dog. Didn't know they made 'em that big."

Jude and I caught that at the same time and couldn't resist.

"Insert innuendo here." We chorused.

The waitress cracked up.

"Nice one." She said, "And what'll you have to drink?"

"I'll have a beer. Bud Light if you got it." Jesus said.

"I'll just have water." Brandon said.

"I'll have water too." I said.

"I'll have a Coke." Jude said.

The waitress nodded, jotting down everything in her notebook.

"Drinks'll be right out."

"Thanks very much." I said as she walked away.

She returned not five minutes later with our drinks.

"Enjoy." She said.

Jesus's eyes followed her as she walked away.

"Dayum." He muttered.

Jude snorted.

"Pick your jaw up off the floor, put your eyes back in your head and wipe the drool of your chin."

"C'mon little bro, she is fine as hell."

"You do realizing you're talking to me right?"

"Yeah why?" Jesus asked.

"Well, you're talking to your little brother, who is gay, about how hot a waitress is. Just thought I'd check to make sure you knew who you were talking to." Jude deadpanned.

Jesus and Brandon stared at him in shock.

"What?" Jude asked irritably.

"Nothing. It's just... that's the first time any of us have actually heard you say those words." Brandon said gently.

"Yeah, you always hated being labeled that." Jesus said.

"Yeah well... it's not something I should be ashamed to say." Jude said, "I'm gay. I'll admit it, and I'll accept the damned label that comes with it. I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of the man I love. I wouldn't change anything if I could."

"I'll drink a toast to that." I said, raising my glass. The others did the same thing.

"Cheers." Jude said.

About twenty minutes later, our food arrived.

"Okay, this isn't as bad as I expected." I said, looking at the size of my burger.

"Your eyes are bigger than your stomach, Connor." Jude said, "I don't know if you'll be able to finish the whole thing."

"Five bucks?" I challenged.

He reached into his wallet and pulled out a five dollar bill, setting it on the table.

"You're on." He said.

I took a five dollar bill out of my wallet and sat it on the table.

As it happens, I should have followed one of the Adams-Foster family rules.

Rule #10: If you're gonna gamble, make sure the person you're gambling against is somebody OTHER THAN JUDE.

Twenty minutes later, I sat there glaring at the quarter of my burger that remained on my plate, taunting me with its deliciousness while my stomach ached in protest.

Jude sat next to me, looking supremely smug, folding and unfolding the two five dollar bills.

"You should know better than to bet against Jude." Brandon said, "Even if it's something silly, he never loses."

The waitress approached the table.

"Will you be paying separately or with one bill?"

"Separately." I said.

After we paid our bills, taking care to leave an exceptional tip, we left the Saloon and went into the general store to get a souvenir. As we walked in the door, I stepped on something. I reached down and picked it up, barking a laugh as I did so.

"What?" Jude said, looking at me weirdly.

"Hahaha." I laughed, "Look what I just found on the floor."

I held up the bottle cap for Jude to see. He snorted.

"Oh my god." He said, "That's awesome."

We bought Jeremy a deck of cards for his collection. After taking about 50 pictures, we got back in the cars and headed back toward the I-15. We stopped in Sloan and took more pictures, before finally heading on towards the city.

We left San Diego at 3:00pm. We drove for five hours before we hit Goodsprings, where we spent about an hour. We spent an hour in Sloan taking pictures.

It was 10:00 at night when we saw the city.

"There it is." I said, "Las Vegas."

"It's amazing."

Indeed it was. The neon lights of the glistening city lit up the night.

"I've seen pictures, but..." Jude said.

"Yeah, no kidding." I agreed, "This is something else."

We looked at each other and grinned.

"This is gonna be fun." Jude said.

"What's the first thing you're gonna do tomorrow?"

"I'm gonna take Jesus's advice and hit the casino." Jude said, smirking mischievously.

"Oh dear god." I said laughing, "I think they were joking when they told you to clean out the casino vault Jude."

He uttered a laugh that I could only describe as devious.

"Well... I do need a new car." He said through his laughter.

I joined in on his laughter as we passed the famous sign.

This next week was gonna be the best any of us had ever had.


	24. Vacation In Vegas Day 1 Part 1

Jude's POV:

I jerked awake with a jolt, shaking for a couple of seconds. It was another few seconds before I came back to my senses and shook the remains of the nightmare and remembered where I was.

I wasn't at Anchor Beach. I wasn't getting shot at. I was in Las Vegas, in a suite at the Bellagio, laying next to my boyfriend in bed at 8:00 in the morning.

I remembered the events of last night when we arrived in Vegas. Connor and I had been exhausted when we arrived last night, so we went straight to bed, while Jesus and Brandon, presumably, hit the bar to celebrate.

I laid back down and rolled over and wrapped my arms around Connor. He snuggled up to me and slowly opened his eyes with a small smile on his face.

"I could get used to this." He mumbled sleepily.

"What?" I asked.

"Waking up being cuddled." He said.

"Yeah." I said, distractedly.

"You okay?" He asked, rolling over to look me in the face.

"Yeah, just the usual nightmare." I said.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You want some coffee? I can make a pot if you want."

"S'okay." He said, "I'll get a drink with breakfast."

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"I want a McGriddle and a glass of milk." He said.

I snorted a laugh.

"You and your McDonald's." I teased him.

"You like their hotcakes." He pointed out.

"Well duh, they're pancakes." I said deadpan, "What's not to like?"

"My point exactly." He said, smiling, before sitting up and throwing the covers off of him and getting out of the bed. He stretched loudly, showing off his muscles as he did so.

"Show off." I teased.

"You love it." I shot back with a smile.

"Yeah. I do." I admitted, getting out of bed myself, "But you're still a showoff."

"You're not so bad looking yourself, JJ." He said, walking up to me and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me close, "Ever since you started working out with me, you're practically drool worthy."

I smiled at the compliment and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Should we wake up Brandon and Jesus?" He asked.

"Nah. Let them sleep. They probably went on a bender when we got here last night." I said.

"I can't see Brandon going on a bender." Connor pointed out, while rummaging through one of his suitcases, "I can see him trying to keep Jesus out of trouble, but not actually joining in."

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"I told you my Uncle gave me gambling money to give to you." Connor said, extracting a thick envelope from the suitcase and handing it to me.

"I cannot believe he allotted us $3,000 just for me to gamble." I said disbelievingly as I opened the envelope and counted the money. I very quickly noticed something.

"Um, Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"This is a bit more than three thousand dollars."

"How much is it?" He asked confused.

"It's eight thousand." I said shakily, "And there's a note."

"Read it."

"Dear Jonnor," I started to read but was cut off by Connor's groan.

"Oh god, he found out the damned name!" He swore, "I'm gonna kill Taylor."

"Hush! Let me read it." I said, poking him in the side, "Dear Jonnor, Hope you like my gift. Inside this envelope is the gambling money I promised you guys for the trip. As you have probably noticed, there is quite a bit more than what I originally indicated. I did not, however, lie. There is $3,000 from me. The extra five thousand was accumulated from generous gifts from Jude's family: Stef, Lena, Callie, Mariana, and Donald all threw in some money. Connor's grandfather Alexander threw in a couple thousand, and Adam and Elizabeth threw in some as well. Enjoy Vegas, have fun, get rich, and bring me back a nice souvenir. Love, Uncle Evan. PS. Don't get into too much trouble, and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

I turned to Connor and laughed.

"Wow." He said. "How much time are you gonna spend in the casino?"

"I'm not leaving until I have enough money to buy a new Camaro." I said.

"Seriously?" He asked.

"Hell yeah."

"You, my dear, are insane." He said.

"Sanity is overrated." I pointed out.

"That is true."

"Now come on. Let's get dressed and go eat." I said.

We quickly got dressed and left the room. We both laughed as we saw that the door to Brandon and Jesus's room had a do not disturb sign hung on the door with something scribbled on it in permanent marker.

"It says: Never let Jesus talk you into drinking Jägermeister." Connor read, laughing, "Well no shit Brandon, I could have told you that."

"I swear, I'm the only male Adams Foster with any form of common sense." I said, completely serious, "Let's go find a McDonalds."

Twenty Minutes Later

Connor's POV:

We decided to walk to McDonalds, since it was a beautiful day. We went inside ordered our food and sat down. Jude took a look at the interior of the place and raised an eyebrow.

"I expected the McDonald's in Vegas to be fancier than this." Jude pointed out.

"I know right?" I agreed, "It's no different than one back home. Food tastes a little better though."

"McDonalds is McDonalds." Jude said dismissively.

I took a bite out of my Sausage McGriddle with extra cheese.

"I still don't see how you cannot like these." I said, referring to my sandwich.

"I don't like the sausage at this place." He said, "Too spicy."

"That's what makes it taste good though." I said, "I think I'm gonna go swimming when we get back to the hotel."

"Go ahead, I'm heading for the poker tables." Jude said, "I've got a car to buy."

I laughed. I wasn't entirely sure if he was joking or not. My phone rang at that moment, and I checked to see who was calling. It was Brandon.

"Sup B?" I said as I answered the phone.

"Where u guys at?" He asked, his voice slurred slightly from sleep and hangover.

"McDonalds eating breakfast." I said, "Long night I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, You can say that again." Brandon groaned, "Is Jesus with you? He isn't in his bed."

"No. He's not." I asked.

"Wonderful." Brandon mumbled.

"Where did you guys go last night anyway?" I asked.

"Jesus dragged me to the bar, and somehow convinced me it was a good idea to go to a strip club." He said, before laughing, "Found him. He's sleeping in the bathtub. He's got himself wrapped in the shower curtain. Jesus, get your ass up! We're going swimming!"

"What is it?" Jude asked me as I shuddered with laughter.

"Jesus got Brandon drunk and dragged him to a strip club." I said, laughing almost uncontrollably, "Brandon found him asleep in the bathtub."

Jude guffawed at that.

"You guys coming back soon?" Brandon asked.

"Yeah, I'm going swimming with you two." I answered, "Jude is gonna hit the casino."

Brandon snorted.

"Oh god, and it begins." He said in mock horror.

"Yep. He will be rich by the end of the night." I said, only partially joking.

"Alright, well hurry back." Brandon said, "We're gonna get ready."

"Kay, see you in a bit." I said, hanging up before turning back to Jude, "You ready?"

"Yep, let's hit it." He said.

We walked out of the McDonalds hand in hand.

After about ten minutes of walking, we walked past one of the infamous Vegas wedding chapels.

"Haha." Jude laughed, "How much of a heart attack do you think our parents would have if we did that while we were here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, "If we eloped while we're here?"

"Yeah." He said.

I laughed.

"They'd go nuclear." I said, "Why?"

"I've just been thinking a lot about that in the last week. Do you think we will?" He asked, "Get married someday?"

"Well, yeah." I answered, "Of course we will. But it'll be on the beach, with our families. Not eloping in a Vegas chapel with Elvis officiating."

"I know that. Just wondering what it'll be like." He said, laughing.

"It'll be wonderful." I said, "I can't wait to marry you. But it'll be a couple of years, At least until after we start college."

"Sounds like a plan." Jude agreed.

When we arrived back at the Bellagio, and Jude gave me a kiss and headed straight towards where you exchanged cash for chips. I shook my head fondly as I went up to the room to get my swim trunks.

I met Brandon and Jesus at the pool and sat down in the chair next to them.

"Good morning gentleman." I said.

"Sup dude." Jesus said.

"Connor." Brandon nodded in greeting.

"Where's Jude?" Jesus asked.

"Oh he's already in the casino." I said, laughing.

Jesus laughed.

"Awesome." He said, "Is it me or are all the chicks checking you and I out Connor?"

I looked around, and sure enough, at least seven girls were ogling Jesus and I.

"More for you, brother." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Is Jude the jealous type?" Brandon asked curiously.

"Hell yes he is." I said, "He punched some guy in the face once because he flirted with me."

"Like you wouldn't do the same thing?" Jesus said.

"No. I wouldn't." I said, "I don't have to. If somebody flirts with Jude, he shuts them down so quick they barely have a chance to blink. I don't get jealous easily. I know I have Jude. He's mine. I'm his. It's gonna stay that way. Nobody can change that. So I don't have to worry about it."

We spent the next five hours in the pool, during which Jesus flirted with every woman with a developed body, Brandon rolled his eyes, and I ignored him and swam. We decided to go up to the room and get changed into proper clothes to await Jude so we could go to dinner. We had only been in the room for five minutes, and had just got changed when the door opened and a smirking Judicorn was escorted into the room by two armed guards. I immediately noticed that Jude was carrying a medium sized briefcase.

Jesus was the first to vocalize his thoughts.

"How much did you win?" He asked.

"Weeeeeell." Jude said, smirking evilly, "I did have more than this, but I already went out and bought something. Want to see how much I've got?"

"Yeah." We all chorused.

He smirked, and sat the briefcase down.

He popped it open.

The briefcase was full of cash. My jaw practically hit the floor. Jesus started laughing hysterically. Brandon tried to speak, but couldn't form a coherent thought.

"We are going shopping. I'll need you to escort us to the car. Please wait outside." Jude said to the two guards, and pulled two hundred dollar bills out of his pockets and handed them to the guards, who made a speedy exit. He pulled a couple of large wads of cash out of his pockets and sat them next to the briefcase.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit." I said, approaching the small fortune, "You made all of THIS in seven hours?"

"Yep." He said smugly.

Jesus continued to die from laughter. He was laughing so hard he was turning blue.

"How much is here?" Brandon asked, his eyes wide as saucers.

"I cleaned a couple of people out." He said, "Had this old guy in a suit literally emptying his pockets onto the table."

"Yeah?" We all asked eagerly.

"Ninety two thousand dollars." He said, "Plus the eight that I started with."

I sputtered loudly. Brandon fainted and landed on Jesus while Jude cackled loudly.

"You made a hundred grand in five hours?"

"Actually, there was more, but I spent some already." He said, still supremely smug.

"What did you buy?" Jesus asked, finally regaining control of himself.

"Put on your best clothes and follow me." He said, before leaving the room.

We all scrambled for our clothes. Ten minutes later we were dressed in our best clothes and exiting the lobby.

Jude stood leaning against a very shiny black four door car, that looked a bit old, but was obviously expensive.

"What do you think?" He asked giddily, "Isn't he beautiful?"

"What is it?"

"It's a 2010 Aston Martin Rapide." He said, waving his arms at the automobile in excitement, "I have always wanted one of these things. I got if for $35,000."

"You spent $35,000 and you still have a hundred grand left?" I asked in shock.

He nodded.

"I'll never doubt your gambling skills again." Jesus said as he approached the car.

"You wanna know what is funny?" He asked.

"What?" We all asked.

"Today I spent all day gambling at the Bellagio." He said, smirking, "Tomorrow, I'm spending all day gambling at Caesar's Palace."

We all burst out laughing as we got in the car.

"You know, Jude." Jesus said as he piled into the back of the car, "When I said you'd end up bankrupting the casinos all those years ago, I didn't think you seriously would."

"Wow this thing is spacious." Brandon said.

"That's one thing I like about it." Jude said from the driver seat as he started the engine and pulled out onto Las Vegas Boulevard.

"Where are we going exactly."

"Shopping." He said, "I might have a surprise for you three."

"Sounds good." Brandon said.


	25. Vacation In Vegas Day One Part 2

Connor's POV:

It took us an hour to get to Primm from the Vegas strip because of traffic, but when we finally arrived, Jude immediately started nerding out.

"Holy crap, Connor, look!" Jude pointed out as we pulled onto the exit into Primm, "The hotel actually has the roller coaster around it."

"I know!" I said, "This is too cool. There are a lot more places to go here than their are in the game. There's places to shop and more casinos, plus the names of the casinos are different."

"Yeah, it's the Buffalo Bill Resort and Casino, not the Bison Steve." Jude said, "IT's bigger too, and so's the rollercoaster."

"You two are way too excited right now." Jesus snarked.

"It's a Fallout fan thing." I said dismissively, "You wouldn't understand."

"Yeah, you're right, I don't."

"I kind of do." Brandon said, "But not as much as you two do. I mean, I like the games, but you two are going a bit nuts."

"Blasphemy!" Jude and I chorused, mock horrified. We shared a look, and burst out laughing.

"You two... are certifiably insane." Jesus deadpanned.

We shared another look, and cackled even harder.

"Are you scared right now, Jesus?" Brandon asked, eyeing us warily.

"I think I might be, yes." Jesus answered as we pulled into the parking lot of the casino.

We got out of the car, and Jude immediately started snapping pictures of the roller coaster and the hotel. He took about fifty of them before dragging the three of us back to the car. He started it back up, and drove, pulling into a Taco Bell.

"What do you guys want?" He asked, "I'm buying."

"Get me one of those smothered burritos with a large Mountain Dew." Jesus said.

Jude turned around in the driver seat and raised one of his perfectly formed eyebrows at Jesus.

"Please?" Jesus added hastily, fearing the onset of the previously mentioned 'Bitch Face'.

"Much better." Jude said in mock praise, "I'll have you trained yet, big brother. And I am NOT getting you a Mountain Dew. With your ADHD, you're hyper enough without being on a sugar rush from drinking that."

Brandon and I laughed while Jesus rolled his eyes.

"Who are you now? Moms?" Jesus mumbled.

That did it.

One thing Jude hated, was anything that might insinuate he was like a woman. It was some left over trauma from the foster system, where some of the foster parents had been less than kind to Jude because he once showed some feminine traits.

One such example was the time he told me about his final foster father beat the daylights out of him because he caught Jude wearing one of his ex-wife's old dresses, an event that eventually led to Callie going to Juvie and eventually ended with Callie and Jude being placed with the Fosters. Plus the bullying Jude originally endured for wearing his favorite blue nail polish to school.

As a result, any time somebody compares Jude to a woman, or insinuates that he is feminine, he gets extremely mad.

Jude slammed on the brakes in middle of the drive through. He turned in his seat.

He tilted his head downwards, so that his eyes were shadowed, and he frowned, his eyebrows forming an almost perfect V-shaped. He flared his nostrils, and he growled.

Jesus cowered as he found himself on the receiving end of the Jude Foster Epic Bitch Face of Death.

"Would you like to repeat that Jesus?" He purred dangerously as Brandon and I completely lost our minds in our fits of mirthful laughter.

"No. No I would not. Nope." He stammered quickly.

Jude flipped back to his normal happy self in a split second.

"Okay good." He said happily, "Now, like I said. No Mountain Dew. Is Sierra Mist good enough?"

"Yes. That'll work just fine." Jesus said, eyeing his brother cautiously.

"What do you want, B?" Jude asked.

"Two Doritos Locos Tacos with the works." He answered, "And one of those Baja Blast frozen things."

"Okay," Jude said, "I might get one of those freezes myself. What about you Connor?"

"Um." I said, "I'll be good."

"What? You don't want anything."

"I don't like Taco Bell." I said honestly.

That was actually an understatement.

I hated Taco Bell.

"Why not?" Jesus asked.

"The food is way too unhealthy for my taste." I explain, "I mean, okay sure, every now and then I will enjoy a trip to McDonalds for a McGriddle, or go to Burger King for one their Ice Cream Sundays or Hershey Pies, but that's about it. Taco Bell is where I draw the line. I've read that the meat in the soft tacos isn't even real beef. If I order a taco, I expect it to have real beef in it, not processed slop that, apparently, is less nutritious than dog food."

Jude and Jesus looked a little sick. Brandon looked less than pleased.

"You know?" Jesus said, "I think I saw a sign for a Subway when we were driving around."

"Sounds like a plan," Jude agreed pulling out of the line and driving back onto the road, "I may never be able to eat Taco Bell again. I mean, dog food? Really?"

"How did you know that anyway, Connor?" Brandon asked.

"I'm an athlete," I said, "I've always taken what I eat and my health seriously. You don't get muscles like these from eating crap every day."

"This is very true." Jesus agreed.

"Yeah, I found that out the hard way." Jude said, "Connor practically put me on a diet when I told him I wanted to try and build up some muscle like his."

"Well it helped, in any case." Brandon asked, "You've gotten pretty buff, Jude. You've got as much muscle as Jesus now."

"Still not as buff as Connor." Jude said.

"What spurred that on anyway?" Jesus asked, "The whole working out thing?"

"It was after Evan started teaching Connor and I self defense after we got jumped at the beach that one time." Jude said, "I was skinny. I was a wimp. I wanted to get stronger, be able to defend myself better. Plus, I was a little insecure at the time."

"Wait, what?" I asked, shocked, "You never told me that. Why did you feel insecure?"

"I did tell you." He said, "Remember? I told you when I was over at your house that one time when..."

He leant in and whispered in my ear.

"When I walked in on you after you got out of the shower."

"Ohhhh." I said, "Yeah, I remember now. That was a good night."

"Oh, hush you." He said, slapping my arm in jest as we pulled up into the parking lot in front of the Subway.

Fifteen minutes later was sat in the car, waiting for Jude to get back.

"Where did he go?" Brandon asked.

"And why did he tell us not to start eating yet?" Jesus asked.

No sooner had he asked this had Jude emerged from the shopping center carrying two bags. He approached us, and opened all the doors of the car and withdrew the contents of the bag.

"Towels?" Jesus asked.

"For the seats." Jude answered, draping the towels over the seats, "If I find even a single crumb on my seats, I will disembowel the offender. I am dead serious. You have been warned."

After Jude had placed the towels, we all got in the car and set about eating. Jude and Brandon ate their roast beef on Italian subs with gusto, while I took my time chowing on my turkey on wheat sub with light mayonnaise. Jesus ate his meatball marinara sub at an inhuman speed. The whole time, Jude kept glancing at his phone expectantly.

Then it rang. Jude picked it up quickly.

"Hello... yes this is Mr. Adams Foster...They're done? Good... Yes I will be paying on arrival." He said into the phone, "I'm in Primm at the moment, we will be there in about an hour... thank you very much."

He hung up and started the car.

"Back to Vegas." He said, quickly pulling out of the parking lot and heading back onto I-15.

"Why? What's going on?" I asked.

"I did say I had a surprise for you guys." He said, "It's ready."

I turned in my seat and shared a look with Brandon and Jesus.

An hour later we were stuck in a traffic jam, because we hit rush hour, and some moron had jackknifed on the freeway and crashed into his own trailer. We were only half way to our destination.

I have never seen Jude seethe so much as we finally reached the accident.

"This is bull shit." He seethed, "I have places to be. And we are stuck in traffic, because some FUCKING MORON CAN'T TOW A TRAILER PROPERLY!"

He looked ready to stick his head out the window and scream.

No sooner had I thought it, than he did that exact thing.

He rolled the window down and stuck his head out the window as we went past the accident.

"FUCKING MORON!"

I reached over and pulled him back into the car.

He continued to seethe as he drove.

"Was that REALLY necessary?" I asked exasperatedly.

"Yes. Yes it was." He pouted childishly, "We're late to pick them up now."

"Pick what up?" I asked.

"It's supposed to be a surprise." He said.

"Jude." I said, "Just tell us."

"I bought you guys something, okay?" He said, "I wanted to do something nice. Kind of a big thank you to you guys for being there for me over the years."

"What kind of something?"

"Let's just say it's a big present." He said."I'm about to spend eighty of the hundred grand I have in the case in the trunk."

My eyes went wide.

"Huh?"

Jude let out a sigh of resignation.

"I... *sigh* I bought you guys new cars okay?" He said, "We're going to pick them up."

"What?" We all chorused.

"They aren't brand new." Jude said sheepishly, "But they are nice. I thought you guys would like them."

"Jude, that's way too big of a gift." I said, flabbergasted.

"So was the Play Station Vita you gave me three days into our friendship." Jude said, "But you still gave it to me without a second thought."

"Well, yeah, but that was a video game system that I almost never played." I said, "This is a car, Jude. That's a lot bigger."

"I know it is," Jude admitted, "But... I wanted to. You guys have done so much for me in the past, and this is the best way I could think of to say thank you. Besides, I'm going gambling again tomorrow, so the money's not really that big of an issue. I mean, I did make a hundred grand in seven hours of gambling."

"What about the Cadillac?" I asked, "And Brandon's SUV?"

"Already got that covered." He said.

"How?"

"Taylor and Castor."

"They're here?" I asked, shocked.

"I didn't know either." Jude said, "Ran into them on my way to the showrooms. They're staying with Taylor's aunt who lives out here. They flew here, but they agreed to drive the cars back when they leave in three days. I made them promise not to race back to San Diego."

The ride lapsed into silence after that. My mind was in shock from what Jude had just revealed.

A car?

A freaking CAR?

Guh.

Even after all these years he can still throw me for a loop.

Twenty Minutes Later

We pulled into the dealership and came to a stop. We all got out of the car and headed inside.

"Mr. Foster!" The man in a suit said, "We were beginning to think you'd changed your mind."

"Some idiot jackknifed and crashed into their own trailer on I-15, about halfway between here and Primm." Jude explained, "Stuck in traffic for about an hour."

"Ah. Understandable."

"You said on the phone that they're ready?" Jude asked.

"Yes, they are in the back." He said, "Right this way gentleman."

We were directed into the garage of the dealership, where three cars sat covered in tarps. One tarp was blue, one was red, and one was black.

"Blue is Connor's." Jude said, "Black is Jesus's, and red is Brandon's. Brandon, you go first."

Brandon slowly walked forward and pulled the tarp back.

It was a red Ford Mustang. Brandon barely kept himself standing.

"2009 Ford Mustang GT." Jude said, "In cherry red, just like you always said you wanted it."

"Jude." Brandon said, walking forward and pulling his little brother into a hug, lifting him off his feet and placing a kiss on his head, "I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to thank you enough for this..."

"You're my brother." Jude said, "Keep doing what you've been doing. That's all the thanks I need."

Brandon went back to inspecting his car. Jesus marched forward and pulled back his tarp to reveal a black Dodge Charger. Jesus stared at the car wide eyed, then back to Jude.

"2014 Dodge Charger." Jude said, "It's the basic model. Hasn't really got many fancy features on it, but I figured you'd like it. It's got 370 hp. Only does 18 miles to the gallon, but that's still better than the old clunker you used to drive."

Jesus started to cry a little as he hugged Jude as hard as he possibly could.

"Thanks little bro." He said, before going back to fawn over the car.

It was my turn. I walked forward to stand next to the car. My new car.

I reached out slowly, and grasped the cloth of the cover. I already had a suspicion of what it was, because I had once told Jude what my favorite car was.

I peeled the tarp off of the car, and immediately ran at Jude and swept him off his feet with a sob of laughter while I pressed multitudes of kisses all over his face. I sat him back on his feet and together, we examined the car.

"This is the most expensive of the lot." Jude said, "A 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle, in blue with white stripes. Even had them put in a new radio so you could use CD's or hook up your iPod to it."

"I can't believe you got me this..." I mumbled, "Jude... this thing is beautiful."

"Take care of it." Jude said.

"Trust me, I will." I assured him as I opened the door and sat down in the driver seat.

"I'm gonna go get the money to pay for these out of Rapide." Jude said, "I'll be right back."

I nodded and continued to observe the car's interior. White leather interior, custom stereo with a CD player and I-Pod compatibility. I could feel unshed tears building in my eyes, burning as I fought to keep composure.

Jesus and Brandon wandered over to check my car out too.

"You okay, man?" Jesus asked, sounding choked up himself.

"I don't know what I did to deserve a boyfriend like Jude." I said, my voice thick with emotion, "These things cost like $40,000 grand for one in mint condition like this thing is, and Jude bought it for me without a seconds hesitation."

"Jude is selfless." Brandon said, "He loves you, he loves Us, and he'd do anything to make the people he loves happy."

"He never had enough money to buy anything for anybody when he was growing up." Jesus said, "Now that he does, I guess he just couldn't help himself."

"I know, but... WOW." I said, breathlessly, "I've dreamed of owning one of these things since I was a little kid. I remember showing Jude a picture of one JUST like this once, the first time he ever spent the night at my house, and telling him I'd own one someday. He remembered that."

I wiped away the tear that fell down my cheeks.

"I can't believe I got so damned lucky." I said.

"I can't believe we did either," Brandon said, Jesus nodding in agreement, "Jude's the best little brother we could have ever hoped to have."

Jude came back in being followed by the salesman. He handed us each a set of keys, and a walkie talkie.

"It's done." Jude said, "They're paid for. The titles are in your names. The tanks are full. They're yours. The walkie talkies are so we can still talk to each other while we drive."

Jesus, Brandon and I wrapped Jude in a group hug as the garage door opened. We separated and got in our new rides. Jude ran out of the garage and got in the Rapide. I inserted the key into the ignition and turned the car on. I revved the engine, and couldn't help the delighted whoop of laughter that escaped my mouth as I pulled out into the parking lot, followed by Jesus and Brandon.

We pulled back out onto the road and thundered off into the distance.

"Where to next, boys?" Jude asked over the walkie talkie.

"Hoover Dam by dark?" Jesus suggested.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Brandon answered, "What do you think Connor?"

I picked up the walkie talkie from the seat.

"Gentleman." I said, "Let's ride."

And so we did. I rolled the window down, and plugged my iPod into the radio. Immediately, one of my favorite songs started playing. and I bobbed my head to the music until the lyrics started playing.

Take me down to the Paradise City...

I couldn't help but think, that at that moment, thundering out of Vegas as the evening sun set, in a seventies muscle car, racing my boyfriend and his brothers, OUR brothers to Hoover Dam, that I knew the true meaning of the word Paradise.


	26. Vacation In Vegas Day 2

Connor's POV (Like usual):

The second full day of our gallivant through Las Vegas had begun, and we just arrived at Hoover Dam. We pulled over at the side of the road in the middle of the dam and turned off our engines. I reached out and patted the dashboard of the Chevelle, smiling to myself. I could not believe that Jude had bought all of us new cars. I could not believe that he had spent a large chunk of his gambling earnings to buy me my dream car.

I got out of the car and walked up to Jude and wrapped him in a tight hug. I couldn't help but cry a little, and the gentle cry turned into small sobs as I pressed numerous kisses to his adorable face.

"How's he drive?" Jude asked me when I stopped drowning him in kisses.

I laughed happily.

"Like a fuckin dream." I said happily, "I still can't believe that it's actually mine! I mean look at it, it's fucking beautiful!"

I bounced on the balls of my feet from the giddiness. Jude laughed as Brandon and Jesus approached him and both looked a bit teary eyed as well as they gave him a hug. Jude set about taking as good of quality pictures as he could with little light. I walked up to him and wrapped my arm around his shoulder and pulled him close, resting my head against his shoulder.

"It's so peaceful here." He said.

"Yeah. It wouldn't be if we were here during the day." I said, "Too many cars driving over it."

"Yeah." He said.

"How do they like the cars?" I asked.

"Jesus actually kissed me on the cheek." Jude said, "So, he obviously likes it. Brandon was crying like you were, so he likes it."

"How did I get so lucky?" I asked him, "What did I do to deserve you?"

"You were you." He said simply, "You treated me like I was special when none of the other kids did. I couldn't help but fall for you."

"Déjà vu. I feel like we've had this conversation before." I said.

"We probably have. But it never gets old to hear it." He said.

"OH SHIT!"

We turned to the commotion to see Brandon pressing a number into his phone while Jesus laughed.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We never called moms when we got here." Jesus said through his laughing.

Jude's face contorted in laughter.

Brandon pressed the button to activate speakerphone.

"Brandon Foster. Why are you calling us in the middle of the night?" Stef's voice asked from the other end of the phone, sounding less than pleased.

"We forgot to call you guys when we got here." He said sheepishly, "Sorry."

"S'okay. We're all watching a movie anyway." She said, "Say hi to the boys everybody!"

A cacophony of various shouts screamed from the phone, causing all of us to wince.

"So where are you guys at right now?" Callie's voice asked.

"Hoover Dam. At 12:20 in the morning." Jude answered, "We've been driving around for a few hours."

"Why?" Lena's voice asked.

"Uhh. Ha. You're sitting down right?" Jesus asked.

"Yeeees. Why? What did you guys do?" Mariana's voice asked.

"It's more what I did, or more what I won." Jude said, the smirk clear in his voice.

"Huh?" Lena asked.

"Jude won a hundred thirty five thousand dollars at the casino." I said, "And he bought us all new cars."

Absolute silence followed that.

"You're joking right?" Lena asked.

"Nope. Not even a little bit." Brandon said, "Trust me, we're still a little bit in shock."

"That was very... generous of you, sweetie." Stef said to Jude, her voice thick with shock, "What did he get you guys?"

"He bought me a Mustang GT. In cherry red." Brandon said, "It's just like the one I used to have pictures of on my phone."

"He got me a Charger. Black. Thing is a beauty." Jesus said.

"He got me a Chevelle." I said, "It's my dream car. It's blue and it has white stripes."

"What did he buy?" Callie asked.

"I got an old Aston Martin Rapide." Jude said, "It's a 2010. Got it for $35,000."

"How?" Mariana asked, "Those thing cost like $200,000 when they were new."

"Well, it's not new anymore." Jude explained, "It was made in 2010. It's 2019 now. Cars depreciate a lot over a near decade."

"That is true." Mariana responded.

"How much money do you guys have left."

"Twenty grand. But I wouldn't worry about it." Jude said evilly.

"Why?" Callie asked.

"I'm going back to the casino after I get up and around tomorrow." He said laughing, "It'll be a lot more by the end of tomorrow."

I could hear Callie and Mariana laughing on the other end of the phone.

"All right well, we're gonna get going." Brandon said, "We're gonna head back to the hotel. Might stop for breakfast first."

"All right, well be good. Don't get into too much trouble." Stef said.

"Okay bye." Jude said.

One loud BYE was heard from the other end of the phone as Brandon hung up.

"Alright, let's go." Brandon said.

We raced back to our cars and raced back towards Vegas

It was 4:00 am before we finally got back to into Vegas. We decided that we were gonna stop at a restaurant and eat breakfast before we went back to the hotel and went to sleep. As we all sat down in the booth of the diner we stopped at, I raised my glass.

"I want to propose a toast."

Everybody raised their glasses.

"To Jude." I said, "The best man that I've ever know. The most generous. The most kind. The greatest."

"Here here." Jesus and Brandon said clinking their glasses to mine, nearly causing me to spill my Coca Cola all over the table.

Jude blushed and took a sip of his coffee.

"SO." Jesus said loudly, "What is everybody's plans for tomorrow?"

We all rolled are eyes in unison.

"Casino." Jude said simply, "I wonder how much I have to win before they cut me off."

"I don't know." Jesus said, "As long as you're not counting cards, and winning fair and square, you should be fine. You AREN'T counting cards are you?"

"Of course not!" Jude said, looking scandalized, "Do you know the kind of math you have to do in your head to be able to count cards properly? Far beyond my abysmal mathematical skills."

He ran his hand through his shoulder length hair, an irritated look on his face.

"Sorry, didn't mean anything by it, dude." Jesus said, "I was thinking about joining you so I could watch you clean people out."

"Don't call me dude." Jude deadpanned irritably.

"Okay. Let's not argue." I interjected, "Tomorrow, I am gonna drive around in the Chevelle, maybe drive out to Nipton and Cottonwood Cove and take pictures for Jeremy while Jude conquers the world."

"You mind if I come with you?" Brandon asked, "I wouldn't mind going for a ride in the Chevelle."

"Fine by me." I said, "But right now, I wanna go back to the hotel and sleep. It's been a hell of a day. Jude and I've both been up for something like 20 hours."

"Seriously?" Jesus asked.

"We got up at like, 8:00 yesterday morning, and it's 4:15 in the morning now, so yeah. Twenty hours."

As if to prove my point, Jude yawned.

"Yeah," He said, "Let's go back to the hotel. I'm so tired, if it wasn't for this coffee keeping me awake, I probably wouldn't even drive."

We all wolfed down our breakfasts and headed back to the Bellagio. Jude and I entered our room and stripped down to our boxers and crawled into bed. He snuggled up to me, and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"G'night Connor." He said.

"G'night Jude." I said.

We were both asleep within seconds.

I awoke to a knock on my door. I could see the sun shining through the blinds, and the clock said it was 4:45 in the evening. I stretched as I extricated myself from the bundle of blankets, and rose from the bed. It was at this point I noticed that Jude was not in the bed with me. I put on my bath robe and noticed a small slip of paper on the bedside table. I picked it up and read it.

"Connor," The note said, "Got up at noon. Didn't want to wake you. Went down to the casino with Jesus to conquer the world. See you when you and Brandon get back from Nipton and Cottonwood Cove. Love, Jude."

I snickered as I went to let Brandon into the room.

I opened the door, and he stood there, his hand raised to knock again.

"I'll be ready in five minutes, you can wait inside if you want." I said to him. He nodded as I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to get dressed. Five minutes later I emerged dressed in a tight white tank top and blue basketball shorts. I placed my baseball hat on my head, and grabbed my sunglasses.

"Casual today?" Brandon joked.

"Yeah, forecast yesterday said it was supposed to be in the eighties today." I answered, "You ready?"

"Yep. Let's go."

Five minutes later, we stood outside the hotel waiting for the valet to return with the Chevelle.

"So how long of a drive is it to get to Nipton anyway?" Brandon asked.

"I think it's about an hour from here to Nipton." I said, "About another forty minutes from Nipton to Cottonwood Cove."

The valet pulled up in front us in the Chevelle. He handed me the keys and Brandon and I got in the car.

"So have you named it yet?" He asked.

"What, the car?" I asked, and he nodded, "No, not yet, why? Have you already named yours."

"Yep. So have Jesus and Jude." He said as I started the engine and pulled out onto the Strip.

"What are you calling yours?" I asked.

"Bullet." He said, "You know, like the Steve McQueen movie?"

"Oh, yeah I remember."

"Jesus is calling his Diablo." He continued, "Because according to him, it's demonic, in a good way."

"Okaaay?" I said, laughing as I pulled onto the highway, "And Jude?"

"He called his Bond. For obvious reasons."

I laughed at that. I should have seen that coming.

Conversation lulled and dissipated, and I turned on some music to listen to, to pass the time. It was silent until we pulled off into Primm for food.

"Hey can I talk to you about something?" He asked, as we sat eating in the parking lot of the McDonalds.

"Yeah sure. What is it?" I responded.

"How have you and Jude been doing?" He asked, "Since, you know... the shooting at Anchor Beach."

I couldn't stop the images that flashed through my mind.

_**BOOM.** _

_**Screams...** _

_**"Attention staff and students, the school is now in lockdown. We have multiple armed intruders in the building. Code red. The police have been notified."** _

_**Gun to my head.** _

_**"Any last words?"** _

_**"I SAID,DO IT!YOU SON OF A BITCH!"** _

_**"I love you so much."** _

_**"I love you too, Connor."** _

_**"KEEP RUNNING, JUDE!"** _

_**"RUN FOR THAT ROOM!"** _

_**Glass shattering... sirens... screaming... crying... gunfire.** _

"CONNOR!"

I jerked back to reality as I felt something shake me. Brandon was sitting sideways in his seat, his hands on my shoulders, staring at me with wide eyes.

I realized that I was shaking. I shook my head to clear the thoughts and tried desperately to calm myself down.

"I'm okay. Just give me a minute." I panted.

"Flashback?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said, finally getting my breathing back under control, "Jude still has nightmares about it sometimes. He carries his gun with him everywhere he goes. He has it locked in the safe in the hotel room. The only reason he doesn't have it with him right now is because he's in a casino."

"How close was it?" Brandon asked, and at my wince he backtracked, "Sorry, never mind."

"No, it's fine." I said, sighing, "I need to talk about it. Jude and I already agreed that when we get back we were gonna have Stef, Lena and Dad make us an appointment with a therapist. We both need to talk about it."

"The first day we went back to school, Jude and I were scared to death to even go back inside." I said, still crying softly after I had calmed down slightly, "The whole time we're inside, it takes all of our self control not to start crying. Jude and I avoid that bathroom that I almost died in at all costs. Everywhere we go while we're there, he holds my hand in a death grip."

I braced myself and began to tell the story.

"I was on my way to the bathroom." I said shakily, "I heard the gunshot, and somebody hit the floor. I found out later that it was just a little kid. A fifth grader on his way back to class from the principal's office. He died. He was only 11 years old, Brandon. He had his whole life ahead of him. Middle school, high school, graduation, college, a spouse, a family and kids of his own. Now... all of that's gone, and so is he."

A tear leaked down my face.

"If I had left for the bathroom even ten second sooner," I said, "It would have been me. Jude would have been lost me. He'd be broken, shattered."

I shuttered and took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears.

"All I could think of doing was running." I said, "I ran and hid in the handicapped stall of the bathroom near the chemistry class I'd just came from. I was in there, cowering in the corner, praying to god that me and the others would be alright, and one of the shooters came in. He kicked open all the other stalls. Then he kicked open mine. He put the pistol right between my eyes."

Brandon exhaled a deep breath.

"Christ. It's a wonder you're still alive." He said, concerned. He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

This is one of the reasons that Brandon is my favorite of Jude's brothers. He always treated me like his own little brother as much as he did Jude.

I smiled at him slightly.

"I have Jude to thank for that." I said, softly, "He saved my life."

Brandon quirked an eyebrow.

"Jude came in just as he was about to pull the trigger." I explained, "He told me later, after it was all over and we were back at your house, that he grabbed his chemistry textbook and ran out of the classroom looking for me when the first shot went off. Thought it was me. He almost ran right into the main pack of shooters. Ended up hiding inside one of the huge garbage cans as they went past. He waited until the one person went into my bathroom and the rest split off before following him in. Tackled him when he was pulling the trigger. Bullet missed my head by about a centimeter."

Brandon looked horrified.

"I was so relieved. To see Jude." I said, "Hugged him. Kissed him. Then we called my dad, and you guys were all there. We knew, Jude and I, that there was a decent chance that we wouldn't make it out alive. We wanted you guys to know that we loved you, and we knew it might be our last chance."

I wiped the tears away and continued.

"The prick had three guns on him." I continued, "Jude and I grabbed them, and loaded them. The one Jude was using was a Beretta. An old M9. Mine was a newer model of the Glock that I have at home. We told each other 'I love you', and we went out into the hallway. Only made it a couple dozen steps before we were being shot at. Jude fired back. He wasn't even aiming. He was panicking, firing blindly around the corner. We ran for it. I could see them right behind us, so I fired blindly back at them. We ended up escaping through a window in a classroom after we shot it out. We found Stef and Lena, and then the shooters poured out of the school and shot into the crowd. Jude and I both panicked again and fired back. Stef and the SWAT team joined in. The shooters retreated into the school. All but one. The ringleader... our friend Jeremy's uncle."

"Seriously?" He asked, astonished at the last part, "Jeremy's uncle was leading them?"

"Jeremy was the main target." I said, my voice thick with the effort of holding back a panic attack, "Anyway, he came at me. The gun I had was empty. I thought I was about to die. Imagine my immense surprise when my estranged, formerly homophobic grandfather appears, practically from thin fucking air, and shoots him in the middle of the face from thirty feet away. He hugged us both, made sure we were okay, explained why he was in San Diego, and apologized for being a homophobic prick. The SWAT team went in, cleared the school. None of the shooters would surrender, they all killed themselves. Afterwards, Stef escorted Lena, Jude and I inside to get our things and then take us home. She wouldn't even let us go into the classroom. She said that inside, it was something the two of us should never have to see. Jude and I went down to the police station the next day to give our statements. We found out that a couple of our shots didn't miss."

Brandon gasped softly.

"You mean?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said, "Jude and I... we... we killed two of them."

I exhaled a shaky breath.

"They had the memorial service two days later on the beach next to the school. They unveiled the memorial." I said, no longer able to hold the tears back, "This shiny white obelisk on the beach, with the names and ages of all twenty people killed. Jude and I went for the ceremony."

I barely maintained my composure as the memory of the ceremony replayed itself in front of my eyes.

"Jude and I hung back afterwards." I said through my tears, "Read the names. Since Anchor Beach is kindergarten through twelfth grade, there were people of all ages listed. The oldest person was our old algebra teacher. He was seventy two. Died shielding his students as they escaped out a window. The oldest student was this kid named Blake. He used to bully Jude for his nail polish. Died in the library, by diving in front of a bullet to save his little brother. The youngest person killed..."

I choked out a sob.

"The youngest p-person k-killed, was an eight and a half y-year old b-boy. H-h-his n-name was Andy Baxter." I sobbed, "He died saving his best friend in the gym. I read off his name, and I just c-collapsed into J-Jude's arms and s-s-started sc-screaming."

Brandon couldn't stop his own tears when I said that.

"We knew that kid." I said, crying softly, "That's the little kid that Jude and I used to babysit back in sophomore and junior year. He was a little kid. He was like six or seven when we babysat him. Me and Jude both just fell to p-pieces when we read his name.. He was s-such a s-sweet kid, B-Brandon. H-he was s-so smart. Kind. He wanted be a firefighter. He wanted to h-h-help people when he grew up. He looked up to us. All of us. Wanted to be like us when he grew up. One time, he told us that he wanted to grow up and have somebody special, like I have Jude. And n-n-now, none of that'll e-ever h-happen."

Brandon wrapped me in a tight hug as I broke down.

"H-h-how c-can p-p-people be so fucking CRUEL!?" I sobbed, "WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT? That kid never did ANYTHING to deserve what happened to him, AND THEY FUCKING KILLED HIM!"

I punched the dashboard of the car in anger and sadness, before Brandon pulled me back into a hug.

"That could have been us." I sobbed, "It could have been J-Jude. I have n-n-nightmares about that all the time now. About Jude having been in that b-bathroom instead of me, and me not making it in time. And I never wake up without seeing his body. All the blood. His eyes s-s-s-staring back at me, c-cold, un-unseeing, l-lifeless..."

I gasped out a sob and sobbed into Brandon's shoulder. I sobbed for a good twenty minutes.

"People called our group heroes, you know? For fighting back. For helping others." I cried.

"Twenty people died that day." I cried, "S-s-sixteen students and four t-teachers. And thirteen of them, d-d-died d-def-defending others. Jude and I f-fought to s-s-save our own lives, and we were running away. Those people died... to save others, and they didn't hesitate. And that is... is... it's god dammed m-magnificent, that's what it is. Those kids, those teachers, they deserve metals. They should've been buried with military honors and a twenty one g-gun s-salute."

I cried for another twenty minutes, before I finally was able to take several calming breaths, and dried my eyes.

"Feel better?" Brandon asked.

"Y-yeah. A little. Feels good to get all that off my chest." I said, my voice hoarse, "You wanna head back to the hotel? I'm not feeling up to much else today."

"Fine by me." He said, "I'm a bit shaken myself."

We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Besides, I want to see Jude." I said, "He's been gambling since noon. We left the hotel at about five o'clock, and it's six thirty now. It'll be about an hour before we get back into Vegas. He'll have been gambling for seven and a half hours straight."

"I can only imagine the fortune he has amassed." Brandon deadpanned.

No sooner had he said that than my phone rang.

It was Jude.

I answered it.

"Hey Jude." I said into the phone.

I heard laughter in the background noise on the other end of the call, that I immediately recognized as Jesus.

"Hey, when are you guys coming back?" Jude asked.

"On our way back now." I said, "Why the hell is Jesus dying from laughter? I can hear him in the background."

"Oh, it's not just Jesus." Jude said, "I've got a crowd of people around the table watching the game."

"How much have you won?" I asked.

"Hahaha, quite a bit." Jude snickered evilly.

"How much is 'quite a bit'?" I asked.

Jude laughed on the other end of the phone.

"Do you remember how we talked about moving in together when we graduate high school?" He asked mischievously.

"Yeah. Where is this going?" I asked, my eyes widening as I comprehend what he is about to say.

"We're going house shopping when we get home." Jude said, his voice alight with mirth.


	27. End Of Vacation

Connor's POV:

"I'm gonna let you get back to that, Jude." I said into the phone, "Brandon and I are on our way back now. See you in a bit."

"Okay. Love you, bye."

"Love you too." I said and hung up.

I burst out laughing.

"What? What is it?" Brandon asked eagerly.

"Ap-apparently we're going h-house shopping w-when we get home." I said, laughing nearly hysterically. Brandon's eyes widened and we both jumped back in the Chevelle and set off back to Vegas.

An hour later we pulled up in front of the Bellagio. Jesus was already their waiting for us. I handed the keys to the valet and Jesus practically dragged us through the door into the casino.

"You guys have to see this." He said, still laughing, "I have never seen something so funny in my life."

Brandon and I shared a look.

The first thing we noticed as we approached the Texas Hold 'Em table was the small amount of people that were assembled around it. Jesus pushed his way through the crowd, dragging us close behind him. Once we reached the table I saw what Jesus was laughing so hard about. I noticed that Taylor and Castor were also there, and were cackling with equal mirth, although silently. I nodded to them, a grin splitting my face.

Jude was sat at the table, and in front of him was a veritable mountain of poker chips. He was staring down the only other person who hadn't folded yet, a balding man wearing a black suit. He had no chips in front of him, so I assumed that he had just bet his last dime. The man was so nervous he was sweating, looking to his cards, then back to Jude. Jude however looked calm, serenely so, and was looking between the cards in his hand and the other man, with a blank look on his face.

That's one thing I learnt about Jude a long time ago. During a card game, he had no trouble picking out what somebody else's "tell" was, but Jude had no "tell" himself. He was the master of bluffing. He had no facial expression while playing the game, except for the satisfied smirk he got when he collected his winnings.

The card dealer looked over at Jude's opponent.

"What would you like to do sir?"

The man looked back at Jude. Jude had a small smirk on his face, and a glint in his eyes, and I recognized immediately what he was doing.

He was pulling what I called a "JJ Bluff". When Jude had a bad hand, he would show false emotion of some kind to indicate that he had a good hand when he really had an abysmal one. This would fool the other player into folding, and then Jude would reveal his hand and collect his winnings.

This is exactly what happened.

"I fold." The opponent said. The cards he displayed indicated he would have had a three of kind with eights.

Jude smirked.

"Mr. Foster? Please show your hand."

Jude sat his cards down face up on the table, a devious smirk on his face.

"Pair of fives." The dealer said as Jude reached forward to collect the small pile of chips in the pot.

The balding man's eyes bulged as he sputtered nonsense. Jude just smiled at him with an innocent expression that veiled a deep satisfaction. I leaned down and place a kiss to the top of his head.

"Having fun are we?" I asked.

"Oh yeah." He said, grinning impishly.

I laughed and kissed him again, before noticing that several in the crowd were staring at us with weird looks and whispering to each other.

I felt my temper, which as of late had been on the verge of exploding since the shooting, boiled.

"You got something you'd like to say?" I asked in an angry voice.

The people went silent. Jude jumped to his feet

"You got a problem with me kissing my boyfriend?" I snarled, advancing on them.

Jude got to his feet and grabbed my wrist, dragging me back. Taylor and Castor were both at my side immediately as well.

"Connor. Don't." Jude said.

"Let it go, bro." Castor said.

"It's not worth it, Connor." Taylor said.

"No, Jude, Taylor, Castor. Let's hear it." I said, before turning back to them, "What do you have to say? Go ahead, don't be shy! Speak your minds!"

They just stuttered and fled at a quick pace.

Jude pulled me close to him and turned me to look in my eyes.

"You okay?" He asked, pulling me along as he sat back down and motioned for the dealer to deal another hand. Taylor patted my shoulder and Castor was looking at me concerned.

"I don't know." I admitted, "Ever since the shooting..."

Jude flinched and his nostrils flared. Taylor folded her arms, and Castor cracked his neck and rubbed the back of his head in discomfort.

"...My temper has been worse." I continued, "I hate it. It makes me feel... like a brute, or something."

I was vaguely aware of Jude winning a very quick round with a four of a kind of tens. He stood up from the table.

"Okay, I think I'm done for today." He said, "Could I get a bucket or two to carry these chips in?"

He turned to us, motioning to Taylor and Castor to follow as two casino employees helped us carry the chips to the counter to turn them into cash. Jesus and Brandon said they were going swimming again, and departed.

"Seems like we all need to talk." He said. We all nodded in agreement.

I had always wondered what half a million dollars looked like.

A minute later we were walking back to our room, with Taylor and Castor right behind us. Each of us was carrying cases full of cash.

"I cannot believe," Taylor said, "That you won a half a million dollars in one day's gambling."

"Are you going again tomorrow?" Castor asked.

"No. I've won all the money I needed." Jude said, "Bought the cars, now I have enough for Connor and I to buy a place when we graduate. All I needed. Greedy to take more than you need, so I'm done for this trip."

We arrived at the room, and we all went inside and sat around the table.

"Oh, I forgot to ask." Jude said, "How was Nipton and Cottonwood Cove?"

"Never made it there." I said, "Brandon asked me how you and I were doing since the shooting, and I ended up having a breakdown on Brandon in the parking lot in front of the McDonalds in Primm."

He immediately looked concerned, he got up and walked over to me and sat on my lap to wrap me in a hug.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I thought I was... but now? No. I'm not okay." I said.

"Truth be told." Castor interjected, "I don't think any of us are."

"He's right." Taylor said, "I got a call from Daria yesterday. She's worried about Jax. Apparently he hasn't spoken a full sentence since the memorial service."

Jude and I winced at the mention of the memorial service, which Taylor noticed. She raised an eyebrow in question.

"We went to that." I answered, "It was, uh... it was hard to, uh... hard to watch."

"I heard." Castor said, "My uncle was on the SWAT team that went in to clear the place out that day. He was at the memorial. He said he saw you two there. He said that you two hung back afterwards and that you both just... lost it."

"Read a name." Jude mumbled his voice thick with tightly controlled emotion, "One that we knew."

"What name?" Taylor asked gently.

I could feel the tears starting to burn my eyes again. I couldn't help it, and I couldn't stop it.

"A-Andy B-Baxter." I said, trying to prevent another breakdown.

Taylor gasped, and Castor swore.

"Oh my god. Isn't that the bubbly little boy you and Jude use to babysit back in 10th and 11th grade?" She asked, her eyes red.

Jude and I nodded miserably. Jude buried his head in my shirt and started crying. I wrapped him in my arms and held him as his shoulders shook from the sobs he was desperately trying to suppress.

"Yeah." I said, "We uh... *throat clearing noise* we talked to his parents a couple of days later. They said he died, by... by diving in front of his best friend. He took a bullet for him."

A tear fell from my right eye, and Jude was no longer suppressing his sobs, allowing them to flow free. Castor was horrified, and he was crying too.

"How could they do that? He was only a child... he was only eight and a half!" He sputtered, "He was such a good kid... sweetest kid I've ever met. That's... that's fucking... that's monstrous."

"Yeah." I whimpered, "While Jude and I were running for our lives, he was dying to save his friend. It's all so pointless. Why did WE live, when so many others didn't? It's not fucking fair."

"You can't think like that!" Taylor said sternly, although the effect was lessened slightly by the fact that she was close to sobbing herself, "We ALL barely made it out of there. Daria and I helped that group of seventh graders get out and went looking for Jax, Jeremy and Austin. We helped Jax out of the window, and then they burst in and started shooting at us. Jeremy was the last one out, and we didn't even notice the hole in his shoulder until we were a hundred feet from the school. There were three people behind Jeremy. They didn't make it out. These two little sophomore girls, and this freshman boy. Every time I close my eyes, I can still hear their screams..."

"Stef said that survivor's guilt is normal for this sort of thing." Jude said miserably.

"Maybe it is, but you gotta try to stay positive." Taylor said, "We all survived. The whole Mafia made it out!"

"Yeah, but twenty others didn't." I pointed out.

"How is everybody else dealing with it?" Jude asked, still sniffling.

"Alex and Carson are okay." Carson said, "They made it out in the first five minutes. I guess them being on the track team has its advantages. They are doing okay"

"What about Austin?" Jude asked.

"He's uh... he's not doing well."

"Colin called to ask if Austin was okay before we left to come here." Castor said, "Drove down yesterday to see him."

This surprised me. Austin was supposed to graduate last year, but because of a case of mononucleosis, he failed three classes and had to repeat his senior year with us. Colin was so busy with college and working that he really had no time to get in contact with anybody.

"He stayed the night with him. Called us this morning." Castor said, "He told us that Austin had severe night terrors, and he's not eating much. He practically jumps at his own shadow. Jeremy getting hurt affected him a lot more than we first thought."

"I heard that Ritchie and Wynston took one of the shooters down." I said.

"Yeah, they did." Castor confirmed, "They were in the Gym at the time. They cloths lined one of them with a couple of baseball bats when he walked through the door. Apparently Wynston went nuts on him. Smashed his skull in. Guy died on the scene while Ritchie and Wynston led the others in the gym out of the school."

"How are they doing?" Jude asked.

"Oh dear..." Taylor said, "They, uh... Haha, they've practically barricaded themselves in Wynston's room at his house."

"Why?"

"He killed a man." Castor said simply, "Delayed reaction. Wynston can barely get out of bed. He feels awful."

"We did too." Jude interjected, his voice devoid of emotions.

Taylor looked at the both of us.

"What?"

"We took out two of them." He said, his voice haunted, "One apiece."

Taylor wrapped us in a hug and Castor patted my shoulder.

"You never said anything..." Castor said.

"I'd rather forget." I said, "I would rather that day be erased from my memory forever. It's a damn shame that it can't happen."

"How have you guys handled it?" Jude asked, "We've both been having nightmares about it. I jump at loud noises. We can still play Fallout 3, but we can't play Grand Theft Auto anymore without wanting to barf. Connor's a bit more paranoid and I never leave the house without 'Persuasion and Reason' on my belt."

"Persuasion and Reason?" Taylor asked.

"It's the name engraved on my Colt Python." He explained.

"Oh." She said, "Well... we aren't sleeping well either. I don't think any of us are. Castor nearly had a panic attack yesterday when he heard a car backfire."

"Sounds like we all need therapy." Jude deadpanned.

"Yeah. We do."

Jude unfolded himself from my lap and stood, walking over to the window.

"How long is this room paid for?"

"Another five days." I said, "Why?"

"Do you think they would refund us the rest of the days?" He asked.

"Maybe. Why?" I asked.

"I... I think... I think I want to go home." Jude said, turning back to me, his cheeks stained with tear tracks, "The only reason I agreed to this last minute trip was to get away from everything happening back home. I... think I need to be there. I need to be with my family. Our family."

"You want me to go and talk to Brandon and Jesus about it?" I asked.

Jude nodded.

I got up and gave him a hug.

"Okay. I'll tell them. We'll leave tomorrow."

"I'm sorry." He said.

"It's okay, JJ." I assured him, "I'll be right back."

He went out into the hallway and knocked on Jesus and Brandon's door.

Jesus answered, dressed in his pajamas.

"Sup?"

"I need to talk to you guys." I said.

He moved to the side and allowed me into the room.

"What's the matter?" Brandon asked.

"It's Jude." I said shortly.

"What's wrong with Jude?"

"He... he wants to go home." I said sadly, "We're gonna leave tomorrow."

"You sure?" Jesus asked.

"Yeah." I said, "You both know that the only reason I agreed to go along with this trip was to put the shooting out of my mind. But with the breakdown today... I realized that running wouldn't help. Jude wants to go home, and to be honest, so do I. Taylor and Castor can have the room for the rest of the time. You guys can stay here if you want."

"Okay." Brandon said, "If that's what you guys want... go ahead."

"Okay. I'll call Stef, Lena, Mom and Dad." I said, "Tell them we'll be home tomorrow afternoon."

I walked to the door and opened it.

"Okay, and Connor?" Jesus said.

I turned back to them.

"What?"

"Thanks for taking care of Jude through all of this." Brandon said.

"I know we've all said it before..." Jesus continued, "But we're really glad you have each other."

I looked at the floor and sighed.

"So am I."

I nodded to both of them and closed the door. I walked down the hallway and pulled out my phone and dialed my dad's number.

"Connor!" Dad answered happily, "How's Vegas?"

I sighed into the phone.

"What's wrong?" Dad asked, instantly alert.

"Jude and I are coming home tomorrow." I said, "We need to be with our family right now."

"You boys alright?" He asked, his voice laden with concern.

"No. We're not." I admitted, "The trauma of uh... the shooting is catching up with us. I broke down on Brandon earlier, and Jude was sobbing into my shoulder not even ten minutes ago. We need to come home. Tell Uncle Evan that Castor and Taylor are gonna stay in the room for the rest of our reservation. Call Stef and Lena and tell them we'll be their tomorrow afternoon."

"I will son." He said.

"Okay. I gotta go."

"Okay." He said, "Connor?"

"Yeah dad?" I asked.

"I love you son." He said.

I smiled a small smile.

"I know. I love you too, dad." I said.

I hung up the phone, and entered my room and informed the others of our plans for tomorrow.

Ten minutes later, after Taylor and Castor left, Jude and I lay side by side in bed on our backs, staring at the ceiling. Every couple of seconds, I would hear Jude sniffle. I rolled onto my side and looked at him. His eyes were red, and his lips were trembling.

"Jude? Look at me." I asked.

He did.

"It's okay to cry, ya know?" I said, starting to cry myself, "It's okay to say that you aren't okay. I'm not either."

As soon as I said it, Jude's composure crumbled and he shattered. I pulled him close and held him as he sobbed loudly. I couldn't stop my own tears from falling, and I started sobbing too.

I felt every emotion possible as we both cried ourselves to sleep.

I felt anger. I felt fear. I felt an immense sadness.

I was in pain. We were all hurting. We all needed help.

I needed help, and I needed it fast.

For the first time in years, I felt an urge that I hadn't felt in years. One I had not felt since I was in the hospital, all those years ago, with a bullet in my foot, and a homophobic father standing in the way of me and the boy I had fallen desperately in love with. An urge for release... an urge I never wanted to feel again.

The faded scars on my arm, the distant reminder of self harm, had started to itch.


	28. Relapse and Catharsis

Connor's POV:

I was sitting in my bedroom, staring at the wall. Jude was downstairs fixing us a snack.

We've been back in San Diego for a week now, and the urges have only gotten worse. My mustache and beard have grown in a little bit, since I haven't shaved in a week because I don't trust myself near the razor. My mood has deteriorated a lot in the week that has elapsed. The depression has come back in full force. The only thing that pierces the dark cloud that surrounds me at the moment is Jude. I have come to dread the moments when he isn't by my side, when the cloud of misery inevitably descends again.

Even he can barely make me feel better.

It finally hit me, that I, Connor Alexander Stevens, am responsible for somebody else's death.

In a moment of panic, of fear for my life, I killed a man.

A man who was shooting at children.

A man who I found out yesterday was married and had two children himself.

Two children who would never see their dad again.

All because of me.

I snarled and whirled around and punched the wall with a strangled sob.

The guilt was driving me insane, not just from the live I took, but the for the lives I didn't try to save. That day, all I was focused on was saving my own life, making sure Jude got out with me.

I could have helped. I could have saved SOMEBODY!

I could have saved Andy.

But I didn't.

I feel like a monster.

I walked out of my bedroom, and down the hallway to the bathroom. I pulled the door open and stepped inside. My shaving razor sat on the counter next to the sink. I stared at it for a second before stepping forward and picking it up. I removed the razor blade and stared at it.

I raised my arm and put the razor blade to it. I pressed down hard and dragged it across my forearm.

The sting shot through my body, and I exhaled a shuddering breath. Blood dripped from my forearm. I raised it to do it again.

"Connor, don't." A broken voice said quietly.

I whipped towards the door and my heart fell into my stomach.

Jude was standing in the doorway. He had seen me do it. I dropped the razor to the floor. he quickly lunged forward and snatched the blade from the floor and threw it in the garbage. He pulled a towel from under the sink and wrapped it around my arm, and wrapped me in a hug. The look on his face was one of horror, fear, and anguish.

It broke my heart.

I caused that look.

I hurt him.

I wrapped my arms around him, returning the embrace and began to cry.

"I'm s-sorry, J-Jude." I cried, "I'm s-so f-fuckin' s-sorry."

"I know, Connor." He said, "Come on, let's go back to your room. I made us sandwiches."

He slowly led me back to the bedroom and we sat down on the floor next to my bed. He handed me the small plate with the ham and turkey sandwich on it. I stared at it for a second, before taking a small bite. Barely a nibble.

"You want to talk?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"You need to talk." He said, sternly.

I sighed.

"Tell me how you feel, Connor." Jude pleaded, "You're scaring me."

His voice cracked as he spoke. I sighed again and looked him in the eyes.

"I feel... like this dark cloud is following me everywhere." I said brokenly, "It's suffocating me with my own thoughts. I feel... guilty. I feel like a monster."

"Why do you feel like a monster?" Jude asked worriedly.

"I killed somebody Jude." I said, trying not to cry, "He had a wife and two kids."

"He was shooting up a school full of innocent children." Jude said, trying to comfort me, "They were trying to kill us. We didn't have a choice. I killed somebody too, remember?"

"You don't feel guilty about it?" I asked sadly.

"Of course I do." He said, "But... I'm still alive. YOU are still alive. The entire group is still alive. Our actions made that possible. That sense of relief kind of overpowers the guilt."

"We could have done more." I argued.

"How could we have done?" He argued back, "If we hadn't escaped through that window, we would have been fighting seven armed shooters in a confined space with little cover. We WOULD have been killed. If ANYTHING had been done differently, one or both of us would be dead, and our names would be on the memorial with A-Andy."

I choked out a sob at his name.

"There was NOTHING more that we could have done." He said softly, but sternly.

He wrapped me in a hug, our sandwiches forgotten.

"You have to promise me," He begged, "That you won't do this again. You have to find another outlet."

"How are you doing it?" I asked.

"Writing." He answered, "Jax, Jeremy, Austin, Castor and me. We write poems and songs together. That's where I was yesterday."

"You know I can't write poems." I said.

"You don't know until you try it." He said, "Come on, I think they're all at Jax's place. We could go visit them. Give it a try."

I sighed, trying to think of a reason not to, but Jude's scared eyes were like kryptonite.

"*Sigh*. Okay. Fine. But we're taking Beast." I said.

Beast is what I had named my Chevelle.

"I'm okay with that." He said, "I just gotta drop Bond off at home."

Slowly, we walked down the stairs, across the living room to the door to the garage. I got in the Chevelle and I started up the engine. The rumble of the engine offered a sense of soothing comfort. I put it in reverse and pulled out of the garage and onto the road.

We arrived at Jax's house twenty minutes later, after Jude had dropped the Aston Martin off at home, and Jude dragged me to the garage. Sure enough, Jax, Jeremy, Austin and Castor were inside, sitting in beanbag chairs, holding notebooks.

"Guess who?" He said.

Everybody looked up.

"Sup bro?" Jax said, "How you been doing?"

"To be honest?" I said, "Not so good."

Jax's eyes wandered down to my arm and his eyes widened.

"Oh no." He said. I nodded.

"Jude, uh... wanted me to try to deal with it like you guys do." I said, "By writing."

"Take a seat, brother." Jeremy said, handing me a notepad and a pen.

I stared at the paper for five full minutes before getting irritated.

"What am I even supposed to write?" I asked frustrated.

"What's the one thing from the shooting that's haunting you the most?" Jeremy asked.

"The fact that I could have lost Jude."

"Focus on that feeling." Jax said, "Imagine that it DID happen, and turn that emotion, that anger, into words."

I did as I was told. I focused on the feeling. It was agonizing, but it was working as I put the pen to paper.

I wrote for ten minutes, going back every few minutes and changing something.

"What have you got so far, Connor?" Castor asked.

"There's actually two. The first poem basically describes what I would have done, what I would have become if I had lost Jude." I explained, "It's... not very good."

"Just read it Connie." Jax deadpanned. I winced at the ancient nickname.

I looked at them nervously and started to read off what I had written.

"You stand there now, drenched w/ rain,  
And all that you can feel is pain  
As hatred creeps straight through your veins  
Binding you with the devil's chains."

The one you loved  
Lay dead upon the ground.  
The culprit, family of a friend  
Shows no remorse.

Your psyche cracks and shatters.

Then comes the Rage  
Bred from Hatred  
In its purest form,  
It turned to self loathing.

Monstrosity.  
Was once human  
Till his soul was torn,  
And body decomposing.

With nothing left to say,  
Your broken cries  
Carried on the wind.

Your love's blood spilt,  
Now washed away  
On the waterfall of tears.

They were gone.  
Your dear beloved,  
Snatched away.

And while you screamed  
And while you cried  
Asking why were you here still?

Voices screamed inside your head  
Telling you to kill

And It's like a shock of lightning  
Every time  
You go against their will.

So you surrender.

You Destroy, kill, RIP THE FUCK APART!  
Anger and hatred feed the flames.  
Revenge, EAT THE BLACKENED HEART!  
Seal the lock upon your evil chains.

The waterfall of tears  
Became a flood  
That turned into  
A waterfall of blood."

Jude and the rest gaped at me.

"Um... Wow, okay. Didn't expect that." Castor said.

"You can say that again." Jude said, "Connor, that was... brilliant. What's it called?"

"Waterfall of Tears." I answered quietly.

"That was really good, buddy." Jeremy said, "I can already think of a riff that would go with it."

"You said you had another one?" Austin asked.

"Yeah. It's called 'Loss'." I said, "Want me to read it too?"

All four of them nodded vigorously.

I nodded and began to read again.

"I remember the day,  
When I first met you.  
I couldn't help myself,  
And I fell in love with you.

When I didn't know what to do  
You were always there for me,  
Teaching me to be  
Who I was born to be.

Now it's too late  
I could finally see  
All of the things  
You gave up for me

When I was with you  
I felt so free  
But then I lost you  
Without you, where would I be?

When I lost you  
It ripped my soul  
You loved me, I loved you too  
Nothing can fill the hole

You were my soul mate  
Our love so true  
Our meeting was fate  
That day, my heart flew

You were my light  
In a life of dark  
An angelic sight  
You always left your mark

You stood by me  
In my darkest hour  
You really saved me  
My life, my soul you did empower

When I met you  
I couldn't help but stop to stare  
Now I've lost you  
It's a pain I cannot bare

When I lost you  
It ripped my soul  
You loved me, I loved you too  
Nothing can fill the hole

You were my soul mate  
Our love so true  
Our meeting was fate  
That day, my heart flew

Now I've lost you  
All I feel is sorrow  
Goodbye my love  
I'll see you soon tomorrow

I feel so sad  
There was nothing I could do  
The love we had  
I can't live without you

I realize it now  
Why all I can do is cry  
It really hurts now  
It's hard to say goodbye  
It's hard to say goodbye

When I lost you  
It ripped my soul  
You loved me, I loved you too  
Nothing can fill the hole

You were my soul mate  
Our love so true  
Our meeting was fate  
That day, my heart flew

Now I've lost you  
All I feel is sorrow  
Goodbye my love  
I'll see you soon tomorrow  
I'll see you soon tomorrow  
I'll see you soon tomorrow."

Absolute silence blanketed the garage.

Jude rose from his seat and kneeled down, wrapping me in a hug. I returned the embrace.

"Dude," Jax said, "These are both excellent. You have to let us record these."

"Yeah man," Austin agreed, "You can even sing them if you want. Jude's already written a couple that we offered to let him sing."

"I can't sing."

"Connor. Yes you can." Jude disagreed, "I've heard you sing before. You have a really good voice."

"I'll tell you what." I compromised, "Write the music first. If I like what I hear, then I will sing on them. Sound good?"

Jude and I stayed and wrote more with them for three more hours. Before we left, Jax pulled me to the side and told me that he wouldn't be at Anchor Beach for the first week after Spring Break ended, but he wouldn't tell me why. All he would tell me was that it was very important.

When we left, Jude turned to me.

"So, do you feel better?" He asked.

"Yeah. A bit." I admitted, "It really did help. It was cathartic."

"I told you it would."

We got in the car and reversed onto the road.

Ten minutes later, we pulled up in front of Anchor Beach. We got out of the car and walked over to our bench and sat down. I breathed deeply, inhaling the salty sea air.

"What are we doing here?" Jude asked, sounding a bit freaked out.

I turned to him, and offered him a small smile. I reached out and took his gloved hand into mine.

"I'm facing my fears." I said. "Why are you wearing gloves?"

He blushed, and looked at me.

"Do you remember how I used to wear nail polish?" He asked me.

"Yeah, war paint. Why?"

He removed the gloves, revealing the sparkling blue paint on his fingernails. He pulled a small bottle of the polish from his jacket pocket.

"I've gotten back into the habit." He said sheepishly, "It... still makes me feel better."

I smiled softly.

I stared at his hand, and his painted nails. Something so simple, that symbolized so much. It was a symbol of our friendship, of our bond. A symbol that I never realized how much I missed.

I held my hands out to him.

"Do mine."

He looked at me shocked.

"You sure?" He asked, "You haven't done this since we first became friends."

"Yeah." I said, "I want you to. Maybe it'll make me feel better too."

It did make me feel better. Sitting there, on a bench on a deserted beach next to the school, the small brush layering blue paint onto my fingernails, I felt at peace.


	29. Miracles

Connor's POV:

The past three and a half months flew by at a lightning pace, and now we are entering the final two months of high school at Anchor Beach.

Jude and I returned to the shooting range. We spent at least five hours a week honing our skills. We were both determined that if we were ever caught in a situation like the shooting again, we would be more prepared, and more able to fight back and help others. We had also followed through with what Jude mentioned in Vegas, and had went and checked out apartments for us to live in after high school.

During that time, the entire group had been attending group therapy sessions to deal with the trauma from the shooting. Jeremy finally got his cast off his arm and was able to return to playing his beloved bass guitar. Jude and I continued to write stuff with Jax, Austin, Castor and Jeremy as a method of catharsis and release. We have written eight more songs with them. My uncle paid for us to use a recording studio for a couple of weekends, and we recorded a cover of the song "My Demons" by Starset, with Jude and I singing vocals.

I loved it so much that I talked to my Uncle Evan, and he scheduled more time at a recording studio for us after graduation. He even said something about calling in one of his seemingly endless number of favors to get the band a recording contract. Jax and the others in the band asked us if we'd be interested in singing in the band as the full time vocalists, and after our first experience in the studio, we both readily agreed. We both agreed that it was fun to do, and we both thoroughly enjoyed it, and we were good at it.

Back to the present though.

I met Jude at his house, an hour and a half before school started at 7:30, as was our normal morning before school routine. We piled into the Aston Martin and drove up to the beach next to Anchor Beach. We always went for a short walk in the mornings before school, to help us wake up. Jude and I alternated between buying breakfast during our walk. Today's breakfast was a assortment of fruits, with a bottle of water for me and a French vanilla latte for Jude.

We stopped to sit down and finish our food, and after we had disposed of our trash, we commenced something that had became something of a morning ritual.

Jude painted our nails.

He painted his the usual blue color he had always loved. He painted my middle fingers blue, while the other fingers he painted red. It was a deep crimson color, that was as close to blood colored as you could get.

This had become a usual thing for us, something that we were know for, although nobody really knew the true meaning behind the nail polish. The symbolism of the act, it's true meaning as a symbol of mutual solidarity and our unbreakable bond, remained known only to us.

The act relaxed both of us, made us feel better, stronger, more confident.

Jude made eye contact with me and smiled.

"What?" I asked him.

"Nothing." He said, "I'm just really happy today."

I smiled back at him.

"Me too." I said, leaning forward.

He met me in the middle and place a kiss on my lip. I felt his tongue tracing my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth to permit its entrance.

Even now, six years after I met Jude, I am still not used to how much kissing him, especially in this way, took my breath away.

After ten solid minutes, we separated. Both of our faces were flushed, and our lips swollen. I wrapped him in a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Connor." He said, "I've gotta ask you something."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, senior prom is in two weeks." He said, "Do you wanna go? Or do you wanna just stay home and have a movie marathon or something?"

"I think we should go." I said, "We've only been to one dance together this year, and we ended up leaving early because somebody with the initials JJAF got us kicked out because he punched somebody in the face for flirting with me on the dance floor."

Jude started laughing.

"He was asking for it." Jude said simply.

This was true.

Earlier this year, we went to the winter dance together. Some guy started flirting with me in front of Jude. After the guy propositioned me for an evening of sexual activity, within earshot of Jude, Jude punched him full on in the middle of the face. He tried to leap on him, but I held him back. We were subsequently asked to leave.

"I distinctly remember you saying that what I did was hot." Jude joked.

This was also very true.

After we had been removed from the dance, Jude and I spent the next hour until it was time for us to go home making out in the janitors closet.

I laughed at the memory.

"Silly boy." I teased him, hugging him tighter, kissing the side of his head a bunch of times.

We stayed there in each other's embrace for another ten minutes before we decided that it was time to walk back to the school and meet up with the others.

Soon after, we stood in the courtyard talking to Jeremy, Austin and Castor about stuff with the band.

"So has your Uncle gotten back to you about the whole recording contract thing yet?"Austin asked.

"He mentioned that he was going up to San Francisco this weekend." I said, "He said he was going to talk to some old acquaintances about it. I wouldn't worry about it though. He's never failed me before. I doubt he will now."

"We know." Jeremy interjected, "But this is a really huge deal for us. For you and Jude as well, since you are both officially in the band now."

"We know it's a big deal." Jude said, "But these things take time to set up. It won't happen overnight. There's a lot of things that have to be negotiated first."

Castor nodded his agreement.

"In the meantime," Castor said, "We need to practice. Practice the songs we've already written, finish the songs we've almost finished. Jude and Connor, you both need to learn the words to the songs we wrote before you guys came in."

"Yeah, no kidding." I muttered, "I have no idea how I'm gonna remember all the words to Demon's Charm. I mean... what in the name of all that is holy in this world possessed you guys to write a song that is fifteen fricken minutes long?"

"Hey don't look at us." Jeremy said, "That song is Jax's monstrosity. Oh, did you two finish that one song you started writing last session?"

"Yeah, we did." Jude said and nodded, "We ended up calling it Empire of Dust."

"How many songs do we actually have in total?" I asked.

"Well, there is the eight we've written together." Austin said, thinking, "The eight from the original demo. Plus the others that we have all written by ourselves, so I think we've got about... minimum of twenty eight. Maximum of thirty two."

"Jesus Christ." Jude muttered, "And some of them, in fact a lot of them, are more than seven minutes long. Hell, like eight of them are over ten minutes long. If we did eight songs a piece per album, that's enough for four albums."

"And we all write prolifically." Castor interjected, "So our archive will keep growing. We'll never run out of stuff to use."

"That's a good thing, though." Jeremy said, "As long as we write stuff at the standards of our current stuff.

A couple of hours later, Jude and I sat in chemistry together taking notes. Well... when I say we were taking notes, I mean Jude was taking notes, while I doodled and played footsie with him across the aisle.

"I need Jude Adams Foster and Connor Stevens to the main office please?" Lena's voice said over the PA system. Our teacher nodded at us and we leapt from our seats and bolted out the door. As soon as we were in the hallway, we reached out and took each other's hands.

"What do you think they want us for?" I asked.

"I don't know," Jude said, "Maybe they want info on a prank Alex or Carson have pulled or something stupid like that."

Jax and Lena met us outside the office, and Lena's eyes looked suspiciously red. Jax looked happy, excited, almost giddy. He was practically bouncing in his wheel chair. Jax has been happier than I've seen him since he was put in his wheel chair. For the first week of school after spring break, he didn't show up. Every time we try to get him to hang out on the weekends, he says he can't. No matter how much we bagger him about what is going on, he keeps his lips sealed.

Until today.

"What's up Jaxxy?" I asked him.

"You'll see soon enough." He said happily, "We're just waiting on the others."

We stood there for five minutes until the rest of "The Mafia" had assembled.

"Follow me everybody." Jax said

We followed closely behind him as he wheeled himself through the hallways of Anchor Beach, and eventually out to our usual lunch table by the "Makeout Tree".

"Okay, enough secrets." Jude said, "What the hell is going on, Jax?"

"You have all been wondering what I've been up to these last few months." Jax said, "First things first, Jude and Connor, come stand in front of me, one on either side."

Jude moved to stand on his right side, and I moved to stand on his left.

"Okay, now stay facing them." He told Jude and I.

"Jax. What are you doing?" I asked.

"For the last three and a half months, I have been up to something," Jax said, ignoring my question, "The day after spring break ended... I had a surgery done on my back. It was experimental, potentially dangerous, and very expensive. Every day after school, and every weekend I've been going to physical therapy. And yesterday was my last day of physical therapy."

"What does that mean?" Daria asked, "Just tell us, babe. The suspense is killing me."

Jax's mood changed in a split second, and he smiled widely at us.

"It means this." He said.

With shaky movements, he gripped Jude's left arm and my right arms with his hands. I could feel him trembling, and I could hear him breathing shakily. He tightened his grip on Jude and my arms like a vise...

...And he lifted himself to his feet.

I whipped around as soon as he let go of my arm.

Behind me, Daria almost fainted into Taylor's arms, and she burst out sobbing.

Castor sat down on the table's bench before he could collapse from the shock.

Jeremy and Austin both gasped loudly.

Alex and Carson just stared in awe and shock.

Jude and I stared at Jax.

He was standing there staring at us.

He was STANDING there staring at us.

"Holy mother of god." I muttered, "You... you're standing. You're fucking standing."

Jax continued to stare at us. After a moment of standing, he took a very slow and shaky step forward.

Seeing that was all I could take. I moved forward and gently wrapped my best friend in a hug, and burst into tears. He wrapped his arms around me and returned the embrace. After a second, I felt Jude wrap his arms around the both of us.

"Oh my god." I croaked. "You can stand. You can walk. But the doctors..."

"They gave me a thirty percent chance of walking again." He said, "I'm a gambling man. I took those odds, and it paid off."

A few seconds later, Daria pushed us off of him and wrapped him in a hug.

He held her as she cried into his shoulder. He pushed her away gently and held her at arm's length.

"Now I can actually dance with you at prom, Daria." He said, sounding choked up himself. Daria leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.

"The doctor's told me to take it easy," Jax said, starting to get emotional, "Not to strain myself, and to try to walk at least a total of forty five minutes every day. But other than that... I can walk again, guys. I'll be able to stand and play guitar during band practice. I'll be able to dance with Daria at prom. I'll be able to walk across the stage to get my diploma."

His voice cracked as he said the final thing, and he could no longer held back the tears.

"I'll be able to walk down the aisle at my wedding." He said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

The tears he wiped away, were quickly replaced by new ones.

"I-I c-can actually l-live the l-life I-I always dreamed of." He said, before completely losing composure and breaking down sobbing.

His sobs were mixed with almost hysterical laughter, as he was pulled into a group hug by everybody in the group.

I had always believed in miracles. I knew, of course, that they were very rare, and that they only happened maybe once in a life time for normal people.

I was blessed enough to receive two.

I was given Jude.

I was given the love and support of my family (even though some took longer than others).

And Jax received his own miracle...

...His hopes and dreams were granted.


	30. Senior Prom

Connor's POV (The usual):

I knocked on the front door of the Adams Foster house, my dad and mom standing behind me. I was dressed in a black tuxedo with a blue tie and vest, carrying a small box that contained Jude's corsage. This is the first time I've actually got him one. It's a sort of tradition of ours to buy each other gag gifts for big occasions. For example, for our first dance, way back in sophomore year, I bought him a t-shirt with a really bad joke on the front of it. I decided that since it was senior prom, I wanted to do it properly. The night of our senior prom had finally arrived, and I was the most excited man on the face of the Earth. I could see Jax and Daria hadn't arrived yet. Tonight was going to be an epic night. I had a special surprise for Jude.

Our band had been given permission to perform three songs at the dance.

It would be the first time Cold Embrace would perform in front of an audience.

And Jude had no clue we were doing it.

Jax and Daria were meeting us at Jude's house, and we were all going to ride to the prom in Jude's Aston Martin Rapide. It would be the first time since regaining the use of his legs that Jax would walk in view of our classmates. As soon as he was at home, or mine or Jude's house, he would walk. For the last two weeks since the reveal, he had stuck to his wheel chair at school and in public, because he was not strong enough to walk much more than he would at home on a normal day. Even that wasn't easy for him. Since he had spent years in the wheel chair, he had lost a lot of muscle strength in his legs, and as a result he was still weakened, and it would take a lot of time and hard work to build that muscle back up again. He still moved slowly, wobbly, and he had a lot of trouble going up and down stairs, and he had to rest frequently.

After the prom, everybody in the group had rented rooms for the night at the hotel the dance was being held at, the reason for which is obvious. Jude and I rented a room as well, after a lot of discussion with each other and our parents, and decided that we would order room service and just have dinner and watch a movie and cuddle. I didn't expect it to go beyond that, and I was perfectly fine with that.

Jude answered the door, already dressed in his matching tux. I let my eyes wander.

"Wow." I said, "You look great, JJ."

"Thanks." He said, "So do you."

I laughed and bowed my head, staring at him through my eyelashes.

"Even after all these years," He said smiling, "I can still make you blush with just a compliment."

I laughed.

"I hope that never changes." I said.

Jude moved to the side and allowed us entrance. In the living room, Stef and Lena were already lying in wait with the camera to ambush us for photos, which they did immediately. Then my mom and dad started taking pictures. Jude and I grinned and posed for the camera for ten full minutes, before we were rescued by the ringing of the doorbell. Lena went to answer it, and a minute later, Daria entered, her arm around Jax, who shuffled slowly into the room, leaning on a cane in his other hand, with a massive smile on his face. He was so happy that he was crying softly.

I gave my best friend a hug.

"How do you feel Jaxxy?" I asked him.

"I feel like I'm in a dream." I said, wiping the tears from his eyes but the grin never leaving his face, "I can't believe I'm gonna be able to dance at my senior prom. This is a dream come true for me, Connie."

I flicked him the ear for using that name.

"Only Jude can call me that." I said sternly, but with laughter in my eyes.

Jax put his hands up in mock surrender, but quickly abandoned the act as he wobbled unsteadily on his feet, and rebalanced himself on his cane. He gave me a sheepish smile.

"All right," Stef said, "All four of you together now."

We stood next to each other as they snapped more pictures.

Ten more minutes of photos followed before we were finally allowed to leave for the prom.

It only took twenty minutes to get to the hotel.

As we walked into the ballroom of the hotel, everybody was milling around. The whole group slipped off to get our prom pictures taken. Ten minutes later, after we were finished, I motioned for everybody in the band to join me on the small stage that had been erected. We walked onto the stage, being led by Jax in his wheelchair.

Jax wheeled himself to the middle of the stage, four feet away from where his guitar stood on its stand. Slowly, he rose from the chair to thunderous applause. I could see some of the girls in the audience, and some of the guys, with tears in their eyes. Jax approached the microphone and leaned in.

"I'm back."

The place exploded.

Jax gave a small bow and picked up his guitar, and I approached the microphone. Jude was standing in front of the stage, looking a bit confused.

"Okay, so. Everybody gonna have a good time tonight?" I asked into the microphone.

Everybody cheered.

"Okay, that's good." I said, "We're gonna start the dance with some live music. This song, is dedicated to my wonderful boyfriend Jude."

Some people in the audience aww'ed, and everybody smiled. In the crowd, I could see Jude watching me with a sappy grin on his face.

"Without you, Jude, I wouldn't be alive right now to be standing up here." I continued, "I love you so much. I tell you this every day. We both have, since about a month into being a couple. We've been through a lot. We've been through the fire and flames, through hate crimes and hails of bullets, and we're still here. We've made it, we've won, and this song's lyrics really reminded me of all we've been through. You've already heard it once, because we covered it a couple of months ago for the second demo, but I wanted to sing it to you tonight. This is 'My Demons' by Starset."

The violins started, and were soon joined by an electronic pulsing sound as I started singing.

"Mayday! Mayday!  
The ship is slowly sinking.  
They think I'm crazy but they don't know the feeling.  
They're all around me,  
Circling like vultures  
They wanna break me and wash away my colors  
Wash away my colors."

The music changed to a more anthemic sound as I charged into the chorus.

"Take me high and I'll sing  
Oh you make everything okay, okay, okay  
'Kay, Okay, Okay  
We are one in the same  
Oh you take all of the pain away, away, away  
'Way, away, away  
Save me if I become  
My demons." I sang.

The music slowed back down and I looked out over the crowd to see people bobbing their heads to the music. Jude was quickly making his way onstage to stand by me as I sang. Just as he reached my side, I started singing again.

"I cannot stop this sickness taking over  
It takes control and drags me into nowhere  
I need your help, I can't fight this forever  
I know you're watching,  
I can feel you out there!" I sang.

The guitars kicked back in and the drums thundered as the chorus began anew, this time with the audience singing along.

"Take me high and I'll sing  
Oh you make everything okay, okay, okay  
'Kay, Okay, Okay  
We are one in the same  
Oh you take all of the pain away, away, away  
'Way, away, away  
Save me if I become  
My demons." I sang.

Jude put an arm around my shoulder and nodded towards the microphone, an unspoken question if he could join in on singing. I nodded.

"Take me over the walls below  
Fly forever  
Don't let me go  
I need a savior to heal my pain  
When I become my worst enemy  
The enemy." Jude and I sang in harmony.

"Take me high and I'll sing  
Oh you make everything okay  
We are one in the same  
Oh you take all of the pain away." I sang quietly into the microphone as I stared into Jude's eyes.

"Take me high and I'll sing  
Oh you make everything okay, okay, okay  
'Kay, Okay, Okay  
We are one in the same  
Oh you take all of the pain away, away, away  
'Way, away, away  
Save me if I become  
My demons." Jude sang, dancing as he did so.

We grabbed each other's hands as we sang the last chorus.

"Take me high and I'll sing  
Oh you make everything okay, okay, okay  
'Kay, Okay, Okay  
We are one in the same  
Oh you take all of the pain away, away, away  
'Way, away, away  
Save me if I become  
My demons." Jude and I sang as the song came to an end.

As the crowd went crazy, Jude grabbed me in a fierce hug.

"How did you guys get permission for this?" Jude asked.

"Your mom." I said simply, waving to Lena where she stood at the door to the gymnasium, "She even made a request."

"Really? For what?" He asked.

"You'll see. I'm singing it next. I gotta occupy the crowd while they retune the instruments for it." I said, returning to the microphone, "So, how was it?"

The audience responded with applause.

"That's good to hear man." I said, "This next song is a bit different. It was requested by our Vice Principal, Mrs. Adams Foster."

Everybody cheered for her.

"This next one is a slow song, so pull your significant others close." I said, "This a song, that a lot of you might know. This is the Metallica classic, Nothing Else Matters."

Lena walked on stage to give Jude and I microphones that attached to the collars of our shirts. Jax played us in, and I dance with Jude as I sang.

"So close no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
And nothing else matters." I sang, staring into Jude's eyes.

"Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us something new  
Open mind for a different view  
And nothing else matters.

Never cared for what they do  
Never cared for what they know  
But I know." Jude and I sang together.

"So close no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
And nothing else matters." Jude sang.

"Never cared for what they do  
Never cared for what they know  
But I know." We sang together, and we danced together as Austin played the acoustic solo.

"Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
And nothing else matters

"Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us something new  
Open mind for a different view  
And nothing else matters." I sang.

"Never cared for what they say  
Never cared for games they play  
Never cared for what they do  
Never cared for what they know  
And I knooooooow, YEAH!" Jude and I sang, before Jax started the final guitar solo. He wasn't moving much, in fact he was standing in front of his wheelchair, and his knees were wobbling as he finished the solo.

"So close no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
No nothing else matters." I sang.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jax sit down in his wheelchair, breathing heavily as the song came to an end and the audience started clapping and cheering.

"You okay, brother?" I asked him.

"Fine." He said, out of breath, "Just winded. Haven't stood for that long at a time yet."

"Take it easy bro." I said, before turning back to the crowd, "Okay, HOW WAS THAT?"

Cheers.

"Yeah, you liked that huh?" I said, "That songs a classic, and so is the next one. We're gonna end on a rockin' note tonight. Sung by Mr. Jude Adams Foster, this is Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin."

Jude let a grin stretch across his face as the drums that introduce his favorite song started thumping and the legendary riff kicked in. He grabbed the microphone by the chord and swung it in a circle, before starting to sing.

"It's been a long time since I rock and rolled,  
It's been a long time since I did the Stroll.  
Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back,  
Let me get it back, baby, where I come from.  
It's been a long time, been a long time,  
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. Yes it has." Jude sang into the microphone, a wide smile on his face as he did.

"It's been a long time since the book of love,  
I can't count the tears of a life with no love.  
Carry me back, carry me back,  
Carry me back, baby, where I come from.  
It's been a long time, been a long time,  
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time."

Jax was back on his feet as he played the solo, bobbing his head as he did, his long hair flying all over the place.

"Seems so long since we walked in the moonlight,  
Making vows that just can't work right.  
Open your arms, opens your arms,  
Open your arms, baby, let my love come running in.  
It's been a long time, been a long time,  
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time." Jude sang.

As Castor did the drum fill, and Austin did the guitar part that ended the song, the crowd was cheering, and Jude was laughing.

I stepped back up to the microphone.

"Alright. That's all we got for tonight. We're turn the music to our DJ. Enjoy the rest of the dance."

We all stepped off the stage to applause and cheers.

We danced for hours, Jude and I. We danced wildly on the fast songs, and held each other close as the slow songs played.

The final song we danced to was also the first song we ever danced to. An acoustic cover of 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody". I pulled him close, and we rested our heads on the other's shoulders just like we had that night in sophomore year.

"I remember this song." He said.

"So do I." I said, "This was the song for our first dance."

I kissed the side of his head.

"How far we've come since then, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said, "We've been through the fire, and we've fought and won everything we've got. Tonight, I'm the happiest man alive."

As the dance came to an end, Jude went and got our change of clothes from the trunk of his car before we get off for the elevator to head upstairs. We walked out of the elevator and walked down the hall to the room. I inserted the key card into the door, and pushed it open.

It was a nice room. Nothing like the one we shared in Vegas, but a nice room nonetheless. The first thing we did was change out our tuxedos and into our more comfortable cloths. We decided to forgo room service, since neither of us really felt hungry. Instead, we curled up on the bed and held each other. My eyes were closed, and his head rested on my chest.

"Connor."

"Yeah Jude?" I asked.

"I... I think..." He started to say, but had trouble getting the words out.

"What is it JJ?" I asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said, "Nothing is wrong."

"Then what is it?" I asked, caressing his hair.

"I... I think I'm ready."

"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked him.

"I'm... I wanna... I wanna have sex."

My eyes flew open and I sat up and stared at him in unabashed shock.

My mind was blank. I couldn't have heard that. Jude did not just say that, he couldn't have.

"What?" I asked dumbly, not believing my ears.

"I wanna have sex." He said.

"Tonight?" I squeaked.

"Yeah."

"As in, right now?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" I asked him, "We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do." He said softly, "I've been thinking a lot about it since Vegas. And I think I'm finally ready. The thought doesn't scare me anymore. As long as it's with you... I'm ready."

I wrapped him in a hug, and a few tears fell.

"Why are you crying?" He asked me gently.

"It's just..." I said, sniffling, "This means you've finally put what happened behind you. It means you've recovered. I'm happy for you, Jude."

He smiled a small smile.

"Yeah." He said, "Any hold that slime had over me is broken."

"Are you sure about this?" I asked him again.

"Yeah. I am." He said.

"Did... did you bring anything with you?" I asked, now nervous, "Like, protection and stuff?"

"I brought some condoms." He said, blushing heavily, "And, uh, lube."

"Okay." I said, blushing even harder than him, "Um, how do you wanna do this? Do you wanna... bottom? Or top?"

I could feel my face burning from the intensity of the blush that painted my features.

"Um... top, at first at least..." He whispered, his blush intensifying as well, "If that's okay with you."

"Yeah. That's... that's fine." I said, "Whatever you want. We go at your pace. Like we always have."

I stared into his eyes, the pupils of which almost eclipsed the brown of his eyes.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" I asked him again.

He nodded, taking a breath, before leaning in and kissing me.

After a few moments, he pulled away.

"It's with you." He said, "And with you, I know I have nothing to be scared of. I never will have to be scared again. I want to do this. It's not just sex, it's making love. And there is nobody on Earth that I love more than you."

He gave me another kiss.

"I'm ready." He said.

And so he was.

And so, we finally made love.

And it was perfect.


	31. Andy James Stevens

Connor's POV:

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. SLAM.

I punched the alarm clock, causing it to launch from its position on the nightstand next to the bed. I rolled over and looked at Jude, who was still sleeping peacefully beside me, still undressed..

I smiled at him, and laid back down. I raised my hand and stroked the side of his face. I still could not believe that last night happened.

It had been incredible, to be with Jude in that way, and for him to be with me. I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to his forehead.

He woke up, his eyes fluttering open. He smiled at me.

"Hi." He said sleepily.

"Morning, JJ." I said, kissing his forehead.

He kissed me back, and then rolled over and rose from the bed, heading for the bathroom. I noticed him wince as he waddled to the mini fridge and withdrew a can of Mountain Dew.

My heart dropped.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine." He said, rubbing the sore area, "Just a little sore."

My eyes started to tear up.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jude asked.

"I... I hurt you?" I asked, horrified, tears immediately burning my eyes..

"No. It's fine." Jude rushed to assure me, "It's supposed to be normal, being sore afterwards. Don't cry, Connie."

"But I still hurt you." I said, trying not to cry, "I'm s-sorry, JJ."

"I'm okay, Connie." He said, giving me a kiss, "I'm fine. Don't be sorry. It'll go away in a while. I just have to walk for a while. I'm okay. You didn't hurt me. Last night was... it was amazing. You took really good care of me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, baby. I'm sure." He said.

I snorted through the small amount of tears.

"What?" Jude asked.

"You... Haha, you called me baby." I said.

He blushed.

"Sorry." He said.

"No, don't be. It's fine." I said quickly, "It was cute. It's just, you never call me stuff like that. You've never even called me 'babe'. It surprised me. Hell, you've only been calling me 'Connie' for a month."

"I might call you more pet names more often now." He said, "I mean, after last night..."

"Yeah." I said, "Are you absolutely sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Connor. I am sure." He said, before looking kind off sheepish, "I'm more worried about you, to be honest. I may have went a little... crazy last night."

"Yeah, you can say that again. I think you almost broke the bed." I said seriously, getting out of bed myself.

I winced at the dull ache radiating from downstairs.

"Yeah, I see what you mean. It does ache a little bit."

"Sorry, Connor. I'll go a bit slower next time." Jude said, "Do you regret it?"

"No. I've never felt that good in my life." I said honestly, "The fact that it was you made it even more special. Do you regret it?"

"No. I don't." He said, "I've never felt more loved than you made me feel last night."

"I'm glad." I said, "It was... it was nice. I liked it."

"What, when you were... on top, or..." He asked, blushing slightly.

"Well... yeah, that felt awesome, but... um, r-receiving wasn't too bad either." I admitted, blushing a furious shade of crimson, embarrassed.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed." He said, as though reading my thoughts, "I liked it too, which surprised the hell out of me."

"Really?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He said, still really red.

"That's, uh... that's good." I said, "I was worried you would have a flashback or something while we did it."

"I did too." He admitted, "But... all I could think about was you. How much I loved you. How much I wanted to be with you."

It suddenly hit me, something he had said a minute ago.

"Did you say 'the next time'?" I asked.

"Well, yeah." He said, "I mean, I assume we'll do it again sometime. Why? Do you not want to?"

"It's not that." I assured him, "I just wasn't sure you would want to."

"It's with you." He said simply, "Of course we'll do it again. Not every day, mind you, but... yeah. We'll do it again."

"I wonder how everybody else's night was?" I wondered aloud.

"I'm sure they had as much fun as we did, if not more." I said, "I think the only ones who probably didn't hook up last night were Alex and Carson, for obvious reasons."

Alex and Carson had earned a reputation of being perpetually single in the relationship department. They had been nicknamed the Bachelor Twins. Only the members of the Mafia knew the true reason why they never had dates.

Alex was asexual, this had surprised nobody. He had never been in a relationship with anybody, male or female. He simply wasn't attracted to anybody.

The reason Carson was a perpetual bachelor, was much more complicated.

Carson was gay... and he was transgender.

It had came as a shock to all of us. He had kept it a secret from all of us. He had been born a girl, but he had always knew that he was truly a boy. He told us his birth name was Carly. When he was really young, he told his parents and Alex this, and he was able to transition at a really young age. He told us this one day after school in sophomore year, while we were all at the beach. He had gotten tired of keeping it a secret, and felt that, as his closest friends, we had a right to know.

He told us that he had been keeping a secret from all of us, and he wanted us to know what it was. He clung tightly to his twin and cried as he told us that he was transgender. After he told us the story, we all practically smothered him with hugs. He also confessed that this was the reason he never dated. It was because he was terrified of what any potential dates would say if they knew he had been born a girl. Jax asked him whether he was attracted to boys or girls, and he said, very quietly, that he liked boys. He was hugged a lot that day. At least a dozen times by everybody present.

"Has Carson thought about finding somebody yet?" Jude asked me.

"Not that I've heard of." I said, "He's still scared of what people will think of him if they find out he's transgender. He doesn't want to get hurt."

"If somebody hurt him," Jude said, "He would have a small army of people ready and waiting to beat some ass."

"And he knows that." I said, "But he's still scared."

We were interrupted when my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID.

"Hey, dad's calling us." I said, "I'm gonna put it on speaker."

I answered the call, and put it on speaker phone.

"CONNOR!" Dad's voice screamed into the phone, causing me to wince, "You need to get to the hospital, NOW!"

"Dad? What's wrong?" I asked, worried, "Who's hurt?"

"Nobody, it's your mother." Dad said, letting out a laugh, "Your mom just went into labor."

I dropped the phone.

I froze.

My mind was blank.

"Uhhhhh." Was all I could manage to say.

"Connor? CONNOR?" Dad's voice shouted through the phone, "*Sigh*. Jude? He dropped the phone, didn't he?"

Jude bent down to pick up the phone.

"Uh, yeah, he's standing here, practically catatonic." He said, "Mrs. Stevens is in labor? I thought she wasn't due for a couple of weeks?"

"She wasn't." Adam said, "But a week and a half doesn't worry me too much. Just get him up here."

Jude turned back to me, where I still stood frozen still.

"How do I snap him out of it?" He asked.

"Threaten to stomp on his bad foot." Dad said.

The threat alone got me back to my senses and moving again.

I flew around the room, frantically packing my stuff into my bag.

"Come ON JUDE!" I shouted, "WE NEED TO GOOOOO!"

"Yep, that got him." Jude said, "We'll be up there in a bit."

He hung up the phone and we both set about packing at an inhuman pace.

"We'll talk more later, okay?" I said.

He nodded.

We grabbed our bags, and ran for the elevator. We ran through the lobby, me nearly knocking somebody over, turned in our room key and ran for the Aston Martin. Jude and I got in, and he started the engine, put it in reverse and stomped the gas. It was the first time I had ever hear Jude squawk the tires.

We were halfway to the hospital before I spoke again.

"I can't believe it." I said.

"What?"

"I'm gonna be a big brother, Jude." I said, tearing up, "I never thought this would happen. This... this is something I've always wanted."

"You nervous?"

"And a little scared."

"Don't be. You'll be a good big brother." Jude said to me.

We were silent until we got to the hospital. It was the same hospital as always. This was the first time we are here for something good.

"JUDE! CONNOR!"

We whipped around to see Dad and Uncle Evan marching toward us.

"Why are you out here?" I asked, "Why aren't you in with mom?"

"The doctors removed me when your mother started throwing punches." Dad said, rubbing his jaw.

I snorted.

"She started throwing punches?" Jude asked, amused.

"She did the same thing when Connor was born." Uncle Evan said, "Except that was a harder punch."

"Alright, follow us." Dad said.

We followed them to the waiting room, and I could see Dad looking at us out of the corner of his eye.

"Why are you two walking like that?" Dad asked.

My eyes widened, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Jude do the same. We both turned red, and Dad's eyes widened in comprehension.

"Oh." He said.

"Uh." I said.

"So you two...?" Dad stuttered.

"Um. Yeah. Can we have this discussion later?" I pleaded.

"Why?" Uncle Evan asked, smirking evilly, "We ain't got nothing better to do while we wait."

Jude and I groaned as we were directed to sit.

"Speak." Dad demanded.

"We... we had sex, okay?" I said, blushing under their gaze, "We were both ready. We both wanted to."

"You used protection, didn't you?" Dad asked, turning a little red.

"Yes, dad." I said, blushing heavily, "We both used a condom. Now can we please drop this before we die of embarrassment."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, boys." Uncle Evan said, "You're teenagers. It's expected for you guys to do it."

"Yeah, but our case is... uh, a bit different." I said.

"How so?" Uncle Evan asked.

I realized that Uncle Evan didn't know about Jude being raped by Liam in foster care.

I turned to Jude, who realized the same thing.

"You want me to tell him?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"Jude was in the foster system until he was adopted when he was thirteen." I explained, "When Jude was eight years old, he and Callie were staying with this family. The Olmsteads. They had a son named Liam. He... he raped Jude and Callie."

Uncle Evan turned slightly green and grabbed Jude in a hug.

"I am so sorry." He said when he released him from the embrace.

"It's fine." Jude said, "I've recovered from it. I can safely say, that after last night, I've put it completely behind me. Connor helped me do that."

"Adam Stevens?" A voice interrupted.

We all turned to see a doctor standing there, smiling.

"It's done."

We all followed him. Jude grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I smiled at him.

When we walked into the room, I walked straight to my mom's side, and focused on the small bundle, wrapped in blue blankets, sitting in her arms.

He was so tiny. He was awake. He had blue eyes, and a small tuft of auburn hair on his head.

I could feel the tears starting to form.

"Connor." Mom said tiredly, "Meet you little brother."

I choked out a happy sob as I beheld my new sibling. Jude wrapped me in a hug from behind.

"Do you wanna hold him?" Mom asked.

My eyes widened.

"Uh... I don't know. What if I drop him?" I asked nervously.

"You won't." Dad said.

He walked forward and picked him up.

"Hold out you arms." He said, "Be sure to support his head."

Dad placed my little brother in my arms. I felt my knees go weak, and I sat down in the bedside chair.

"He's so cute." I said, reaching up and caressing his little cheek with my finger.

"Hey there little guy." I cooed to the baby, "Hi. I'm your big brother. God, you're so tiny."

He stared at me, blue eyes wide. I laughed.

"Welcome to the world, little brother." I said before turning my head to look at Dad as he gently took him from my arms, "What's his name?"

"We were waiting for you and Jude." Mom said, sounding out of breath, "His name is Andrew James Stevens. AJ or Andy for short."

The tears fell harder, and Jude place his arm around me and pulled me close as I started crying harder. I felt many things. Happiness, lingering sadness, but most of all, I felt a sense of closure.

"We want you to be his godfather." Dad said to Uncle Evan.

"Are you... are you serious?" He said, surprised.

"Over the last few years," Dad said, "You've become my closest confidant, little brother. We're closer than we've ever been. I would be honored, if you would be his godfather."

Uncle Evan wrapped my dad in a hug.

"The honor is mine, big brother."

 


	32. Graduation

Connor's POV:

The day had finally arrived. The day we had all been waiting for, for countless years.

Graduation day was finally upon us.

Jude stood on stage, in front of the microphone. He had been chosen, unanimously by the entire graduating class, to give the opening speech.

"Well. Here we are." He said, "We've all made it. Graduation is here, and the journey that started more than a decade ago has come to an end. All of our hard work, all of our late night study cramming sessions, and last minute research papers have finally paid off."

Quite a few people laughed at Jude's slightly dry delivery.

"This class, has been through a lot." He continued, "Especially this last year. Several of us, who were supposed to be here today, are no longer here at all. They were taken from us, long before their time. They died as heroes, and they are remembered as such. From little Andrew Baxter, who died saving his best friends life, to Blake Richardson, who dove in front of a bullet to sacrifice himself for his baby brother. These names, these people, their courage will never be forgotten. I would like now, for us all to bow our heads in respect and in honor of our fallen."

Everybody bowed their heads in remembrance for a minute, before Jude continued his speech.

"But still, we got through it." He continued, "We faced our challenges, and beat them. And now, as I stand here today, on the cusp of a bright future, I look back at my own life, and how far I've come since I started at Anchor Beach."

He took a breath and made eye contact with me. I offered him a smile.

"You're doing great." I mouthed at him, offering him both thumbs up. He returned my smile and continued.

"First, I would like to take this time to thank the parents and teachers here tonight for getting us here." Jude said, "For the numerous hundreds of dollars in gas wasted to drive us here, to suffering through teenage angst and our senseless nagging about things that we forgot about the very next day. I would also like to extend a personal apology to my moms, for the numerous heart attacks you guys have nearly suffered since you guys adopted me. I have more to thank you guys for than I could ever admit."

He wiped a tear away.

"When I first arrived at Anchor Beach," He said, "I was only twelve years old. I had just been rescued from an abusive foster home by my sister Callie, future adopted brother Brandon, and my future moms, Stef and Lena. Stef and Lena took me and Callie into their home and treated me like their own child... even though we all could have been shot that night because my foster father was waving a gun around. They showed me the true meaning of family, that blood does not make a family. They taught me that love made the family. Then I was enrolled here."

Jude laughed and turned and smiled at Lena, mouthing to her that he loved her.

"The first day here. I got lost. Hopelessly lost." He said to the laughter of himself and the crowd, "Wandering around in my raged clothes and a god awful bowl-cut haircut, trying to find my first class. I walked around a corner, and the next thing I know, I'm on the ground, dazed. Next thing after that, I'm being pulled to my feet, and this kid is fussing over me, apologizing profusely asking me if I was okay. He looked me in the eyes, said hello, and then he introduced himself. I had no idea at the time, that I had just met the boy who would end up putting my broken pieces back together. A boy who I would put back together. A boy I would end up falling in love with."

He turned his head to look straight at me.

"Connor." He said, "He was my first friend. With him around, everything was worth it. When we fell for each other, things just got better. Over the years, we've fixed each other. I helped him with a few of his issues, and he helped me to recover... *deep breath* from the traumas of my horrific past."

His gaze remained fixed on me.

"I am many things." He continued, "And I have overcame many obstacles that would have broken many. I am a recovered victim of mental, physical and emotional abuse. I am a former foster kid... and I am a recovered rape victim."

Many people gasped when he said that, myself included. I did not expect Jude to mention it in the speech.

"But tonight. I stand before you as none of those things." He said, "I stand before you as a friend. As a classmate. But more than that, I stand here as a graduate. I stand here, with all of you, as a member of the class of 2019."

People stood and cheered for Jude as he said that. He motioned for quiet after allowing the cheering to continue for a few moments.

"I'm going to end this speech with a quote, from a song that has become our families unofficial theme song." He said, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket.

He unfolded the paper and began to recite the lyrics.

"It's not where you come from,  
It's where you belong.  
Nothin I would trade,  
I wouldn't have it any other way.  
You're surrounded  
By love and you're wanted,  
So never feel alone.  
You are home with me,  
Right where you belong."

He paused for a moment, before continuing.

"My life at Anchor Beach taught me a lot, as did the people." He said, "I know I belong. I really wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trade a single second of the past six years for anything in the world. We all built the foundations for our futures at this school, and I will be the first to admit that I'm going to miss it. In this, we all share. In this, we all belong. Ladies and gentleman, I am proud to present, for the last time assembled, the graduating class of 2019."

The gym thundered with applause as Jude left the stage to take his seat. Five minutes later, the first students started walking across the stage, but I didn't pay attention to anybody until Jude's name was called.

"Jude Adams-Foster."

I jumped to my feet and cheered. In the background I could hear the rest of the family and the other members of "the Mafia" doing the same. Jude walked across the stage and Lena handed him his diploma and wrapped him in a hug. Both were crying. I could feel tears forming in my eyes, and I made eye contact with Jude as he returned to his seat. He blew me a kiss. I could barely make a sound because the tears were falling so heavily.

At that moment, every happy memory Jude and I ever shared flashed through my mind, and my smile just got wider. I only paid attention to the names enough to cheer when other members of our group walked across to accept their diplomas. One by one, my family walked across the stage.

"Wynston Adler."

Wynston walked across the stage. He looked shell shocked, as if he couldn't believe what was happening.

"Austin Beverly."

Austin sashayed across the stage to accept his diploma. I laughed at the way he strutted, and i could just imagine Jeremy turning an unholy shade of red.

"Jackson Finnegan."

Jax walked across the stage slowly, leaning on his cane heavily. He was in hysterical tears.

I felt myself tear up as another one of my best friend's dreams came true. He thrust his diploma into the air in gleeful triumph. He made eye contact with me, and mouthed the word "victory".

I smiled back at him and saluted him.

"Ritchie Holmes."

Ritchie had a gigantic smile on his face as he accepted his diploma, which he cradled like a priceless ancient treasure.

"Castor Johnson."

Castor didn't do anything funny. He just walked across and accepted his diploma like a dignified human being.

"Taylor Newsome."

She marched across the stage, with almost military march-like precision. When she accepted the diploma, she threw her hand into the air in triumph.

"Alex O'Reilly."

"Carson O'Reilly."

The twins walked across the stage together. I noticed, as Carson accepted his diploma, that from his graduation cap, hung a rainbow colored tassel. I smiled wide and cheered.

The people in my row were instructed to rise and line up to walk across the stage. I was shaking with anticipation.

"Jeremy Robertson."

Jeremy walked across the stage quickly to accept his diploma, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. When it was in his hands, he looked at the diploma as if he couldn't believe it was real.

"Daria Smith."

Daria walked, dignified, across the stage and accepted hers. I was one of the few who could tell that it was only a matter of moments before she started squealing in uncontrollable happiness. Sure enough, not even ten second had elapsed since her exit from the stage before I heard a loud squeal of delight.

It was at this moment I noticed that there were only two people in between me and my high school diploma.

One person left...

"Connor Alexander Stevens."

Everything fell away.

There was no sound. I could not hear any of the cheers from our family in the audience. It was as if I had tunnel vision as I walked across the stage. I walked up to Lena, and with shaking hands, I accepted my diploma. Lena pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you." I said, "For everything."

She hugged me tighter, before releasing me and ushering me off the stage.

After I took my seat, the ceremony seemed to fly by at a lightning pace. All of the Mafia had their diplomas. It was done for us. It was over. Too soon, we all marched from the gym.

I immediately set out to find Jude.

I found him being hugged by his family. As soon as he saw me, he unfolded himself from Callie's embrace and launched himself at me.

I caught him, and we both started sobbing.

I lifted him off of his feet and spun him around before capturing his lips with mine. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and I wrapped mine around his waist.

We pulled apart to stare into each other's eyes.

"We did it." He sobbed.

"We made it." I whispered before pulling him back closer to me. For five minutes, we stood there, our heads resting on the others shoulder, crying softly.

A throat cleared.

Jude and I separated an I was swept into a hug by my parents, which was only a little awkward because Mom was holding Andy.

"I'm so proud of you, son." Dad said.

"Thanks daddy." I said, still crying softly.

Dad started to tear up as well. I hadn't called him that in years. Not since before Jude and I got together.

"Connor?"

I turned around to face my grandparents and my Uncle Evan. Uncle David and cousin Albus weren't there because he was in bed sick with the flu

I addressed my grandfather first.

"Grandpa." I said, nodding politely.

I was surprised when he moved forward and wrapped me in a timid hug.

I gasped at that to myself, and returned the hug.

"Congratulations, you've made me very proud." He said.

I started crying into his shoulder.

"Thanks grandpa."

"I hate to interrupt the festivities," Uncle Evan said, sharing a look with my parents and Stef and Lena, "But we all have some place we need to be. Jude, Connor, if you'll both follow us in your cars, this needs to be done before dark."

We were ushered off to our cars quickly, confusion setting in.

As soon as we were on the road, following the column of cars led by my Uncle's Black Charger. I picked up the walkie talkie and turned it on.

"Jude, B, Jesus? You guys on?" I asked.

"Yep." Jude answered.

"Yeah." Jesus answered.

"Go ahead Connor." Brandon responded.

"Anybody got any clue about what is going on?" I asked.

My response was three simultaneous no's.

"It's a surprise Connor." My Uncle Evan's voice said from over the walkie talkie. I rolled my eyes and we continued to follow him.

After driving for twenty minutes, we entered the suburbs. Five more minutes later we pulled up in front of a small house.

It was a modest little house. It had blue siding, and solar panels on the roof.

We all got out of our cars and followed Uncle Evan, who ushered us inside.

The walls were painted a cool white, and the carpets were blue. There was a small kitchen, and a small living room. There were two bedrooms. One with a large closet and a adjoined bathroom. It was also fully furnished, complete with a flat screen in the living room. We turned to Uncle Evan, confused.

"I bought this place a year ago." He said, "Bought it dirt cheap. It was a mess. Spent a lot fixing it up. I think it turned out alright though, don't you? Fully paid for. All the bills prepaid for the next five years."

"Yeah. But why are we here?" Jude asked, very confused.

"Because," He said, "Connor, Jude."

He stepped forward and handed us a blue wrapped box.

Inside, was a manila folder, and two sets of keys.

I reached into the box, and shakily withdrew the items.

"Is this...?" I started to ask, holding the folder up.

"The deed." He said, nodding, "We've all been working on this for the last few months. All of us."

He motioned to all the adults.

"As of noon today, the deed to this house is in yours and Jude's names."

Jude and I both stared at him, eyes wide and mouth agate.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I asked

"Yes, I am." Uncle Evan said, "This house? It's yours."

He moved forward and wrapped Jude and I in a hug, which we eagerly returned.

"Happy Graduation, boys."


	33. Fate

Connor's POV:

It's been three hours since we received our diplomas, and it already seems like it is a whole world away. Jude and I lay together, side by side, cuddled up in our bed, in our room, in our house.

This is our house. OUR house. Our HOUSE.

"I can't believe today actually happened." Jude said, breathlessly.

"My Uncle, my parents, my grandfather, and your family conspired together to get you and I a place of our own." I said, "Yeah. It seems like a dream."

"We've got our own house." He said, "A fully furnished house, with cable and air conditioning. We have our own cars. We have the five hundred grand I won in Vegas. Connor, if we can get better jobs, or if the record deal works out, we're pretty much set for quite a while."

"It'll be nice not to have to worry about it." I admit, "Working part time at McDonald's, I could barely pay for gas and insurance for my car. When I got fired, I would have been screwed if it wouldn't have been for dad paying it for me."

I had gotten a part time job at McDonalds to help pay for gas for the Chevelle. I worked there for about four weeks before I got fired. I only worked their long enough to earn two paychecks. I was taking another batch of the regular meat patties off the grill, and the boiling hot grease that was bubbling on the grill splattered when I went to squeegee it off, and ended up burning me on the arms and face. I pulled out practically every nasty word I could think of in the tirade that followed, and it got me fired. I couldn't bring myself to care, since the burns on my face would end up blistering and leaving a scar on my forehead near my hairline.

"I offered to pay it for you." He said, "But you wouldn't take it."

"It's your Vegas money, Jude. I couldn't. It wouldn't feel right." I said.

"Well, we live together now." He said, "So until you find another job, I will pay for it."

"Jude..." I tried to argue.

He glared at me, and I decided to just give in.

"Fine. Okay. If it's not too much trouble." I said.

"It isn't. Trust me." He answered.

I gave him a kiss, before laying my head on his bare chest and releasing a content sigh.

"I have never been happier than I am right now." I said.

"Me neither." Jude said.

We laid there for a while, just enjoying each others presence.

"What are we gonna do tonight?" I asked him, "Watch a movie? Play games? Go to sleep?"

"We could do something else..." Jude said quietly, "If you want."

"Like what?" I asked, looking up at him.

"We could... you know. Do it." He said, blushing slightly.

My eyes widened.

Since the first time on Prom Night, Jude and I had only had sex twice more. Each time, was because Jude was the one who brought it up. It made me so happy to know that Jude had truly, 100% recovered from the trauma of being raped by Liam.

"Um. You wanna have sex?" I asked, making sure.

He nodded.

"Yeah, sure. If you want to?" I said, making sure.

He nodded.

"I do. Do you?" He said.

"Yeah." I responded.

And so we did.

We ended up tiring ourselves out and falling asleep in each other's embrace at two thirty in the morning. The next morning we were awoken to a knock on the door.

We both bolted up in bed, startled, Jude holding his gun in his hand.

I had forgot that Jude had taken to sleeping with his gun under his pillow. Jude and I rushed to get dressed, and I answered the door in my bathrobe and shorts.

It was my dad.

"What is it dad?" I asked.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Yeah of course." I said, moving aside to allow him entrance.

"How was the first night?" He asked.

"You really want to know the answer to that?" I asked mischievously.

"Yeah, never mind." He said, "How do you guys like the house?"

"We love it." Jude said, "I can't believe you guys actually did this for us."

"You two might want to sit down." He said, "I've got something to show you."

Jude and I both looked at each other in confusion, before nodding and sitting down on our couch.

Dad pulled three small pictures from his pockets.

"When we got home last night, your mom and I pulled out some of the old photo albums." He said, "We were looking at some of the old pictures, from when you were a little kid... and we found something interesting. I stopped by Stef and Lena's to get something before I came here."

He sat two of the pictures down on the table.

One was of me, from when I was really little. I looked like I was probably five in the picture. Maybe in preschool. In the picture, my hair hadn't darkened to the dark blonde it is today, and it was long and extremely curly, and I was missing several teeth. Jude immediately giggled and picked up the picture, examining it with a smile.

"Awww." Jude said, smiling, "Look at you! Oh, my god my heart can't take it. You were too cute."

I blushed.

"What's with the hair, though?" He asked, still smiling brightly, a light teasing tone to his voice.

"Hey! I liked my hair long back then!" I bickered playfully, "Dad used to call me a hippie because of that."

"You should grow it out again, like I have." Jude said, partially serious, "You'd look cute with long curly hair. Not as long as mine, but longer. It'd look good."

Jude's hair was really long. It went down to just past his shoulders now, and he absolutely refused to get it cut, much to Stef and Lena's exasperation. The last time he actually cut it was in freshman year, when he buzzed it all off. It was the result of the only time in recorded history where Jude ever lost a bet. After that, he only trimmed it to keep it from going too far past his shoulders.

"It would take too long to get it that long," I said, "You haven't had an actual haircut in years, so you've had time to grow it out. Plus, it would be too hard to manage. I would if I had hair like yours. Straight."

Dad handed me the second picture.

It was very obviously a young Jude. He had short, spiked hair. Like me in my picture, he was missing a few teeth. He was smiling at the camera, but it was a shy smile that I had seen on many occasions.

"You say I was cute?" I joked, "Compared to you, I looked like a goblin."

Jude poked me in the side, right in the spot where I was most ticklish, causing me to squeak.

"You were adorable." He said.

"So were you." I said, before turning back to Dad, "But I do have to ask what the point of all this is?"

"I'm getting to that." Dad continued, "But before I continue, I do have one question for you, Jude."

"Go ahead." He said.

"Was your birth mom named Colleen?"

Jude looked shocked.

"Uh. Yeah. Colleen Jacob. Why?" He asked confused.

My Dad nodded.

"This picture was taken a year after that first one of Connor, on Halloween 2005."

He handed us the final picture.

Jude and I stared at the picture, we shared a look at each other, then returned our gaze to the picture.

In it were two boys, one shorter than the other. Both young, both happy and smiling at the camera, dressed in silly outfits with their arms around the other's shoulders. One's hair was blond, the others was brown. The blond one had a red Ring Pop on his finger, while the brown haired one had a blue one on his.

My eyes widened.

"How... how can...?" Jude stuttered.

I couldn't form a single coherent sentence either...

Because there was no doubt that the two boys in the picture were us.

"This was the Halloween Party in preschool." I whispered, my eyes wide, "Jude... that's US!"

"We knew each other as kids?" He asked, "How? I would have remembered that!"

"I can't believe I didn't realize it was you sooner." Dad interjected.

We looked at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, "You remember this?"

"I do." He said, "I remember the day this picture was taken. Colleen took the picture."

"You knew my mom?"

"Colleen was an old friend of mine." Dad revealed, "We went to high school together, back in the day. I can't believe I didn't recognize you and Donald. But then again, he did have a lot more hair back then. I remember meeting you, way back then, on Connor's first day of preschool. I spent ten minutes talking to Colleen and Donald while you and Connor played Candy Land."

Jude turned to me, shock radiating from him.

"I... I remember that." I admit, "But..."

"You said you moved here in third grade," Jude interrupted, "Did you use to live outside of San Francisco?"

"Yeah."

"I remember now!" He exclaimed, looking at me in awe, "I can't believe this. It's YOU! You're the kid who used to play all those silly games with me back in preschool! We stayed over at each other's houses a couple of times! We used to call each other by our middle names! I used to call you Ally, and you called my Tommy..."

"...Because we decided we didn't like our first names!" I finished for him, my eyes widening in awe and remembrance, " I remember too! Holy fucking shit. This is unreal."

I lunged and pulled Jude into a hug.

"I can't fricken believe it!" I exclaimed, "I always wondered what happened to you! You dropped off the face of the Earth in the middle of Kindergarten."

"That was when I went into foster care." Jude said.

"This is too fricken much." I said, "This is... this was fate. What are the odds, that we were close as kids, lose touch because of you going into the system, and the meeting again seven years later and end up dating? Even you wouldn't bet on those odds!"

"No, I really wouldn't."

"If I had known, back when you first came back into Connor's life, who you were," Dad said, addressing Jude, "I wouldn't have treated you like I did. Colleen would have kicked my ass."

One thing that I could say about my Dad, he holds onto things for way too long. He still regrets trying to keep Jude and I apart back in seventh grade, despite the fact that Jude and I have forgiven him and that his subsequent actions more than made up for it.

Jude held the picture of us close.

"Do you mind if we keep this?" He asked.

"It's actually not the only one." He said, pulling a small photo album from his coat pocket and handing it to me, "We went through all the other photo albums and picked out all the others and put this together for you guys. There's only a few, but you guys can fill it up with new ones."

"Thanks dad." I said, rising from the couch and giving him a hug.

"You're welcome, kiddo." He said, "Now I've got to get going. I left your brother at home with your Uncle Evan."

"Are you nuts?" I asked jokingly, "Where's mom?"

"She is at work." Dad said, "Finally got off maternity leave."

"Hurry up and go, before Uncle Evan turns Andy into a weapon of chaos or something like that." I said, laughing.

"My thoughts exactly." He said, heading for the door, "Don't be a stranger son. You either, Jude."

"Okay, I'll be over some time tomorrow to get some of the rest of my stuff." I said to him, "Drive safe."

After he left, I sat back down next to Jude, who had picked up the photo album.

"You want to?" He asked.

He responded by opening the photo album to the first page.

I started laughing.

We were both covered in finger paint in the picture. It was all over the place. It was even in our hair. The writing in the corner of the picture said: C and J, Post Paint Battle.

"I think I remember this too." I said, "They told us to paint something we liked. Something cool."

"And we decided to paint each other." I finished, "Literally."

He flipped to the next one.

It was a picture of us at my old house, in the backyard. I had Jude on the ground, and was tickling him mercilessly. His eyes were shut tight, and he was laughing uproariously as we rolled around on the ground. I was staring down at Jude, a wide smile on my face.

"I remember this one." Jude said, "It was the first time I ever slept over at somebody's house. Callie through a fit about it."

"Look at us, man." I said, "Even back then, the bond was there."

Jude leaned his head on my shoulder.

"I love you baby." He said.

I grinned and laughed at him saying that. I still wasn't used to him calling me pet names, and it was cute when he did it.

"I love you too," I said, "Now. Next picture."

He flipped to the next one. It was of me hugging Jude, who had a party hat on.

"Awww." Jude said, smiling wide, "We're hugging each other. This was at your birthday party, I think."

"Yeah. I remember." I said, "You got me a big box of candy, and I nearly tackled you in that hug. Mom laughed like crazy."

"I still can't believe it was YOU." He said, "But now, everything makes just a little bit more sense. How we seemed to know each other so well when we first met again in seventh grade."

"Yeah, no kidding." I said, "What's the next one?"

I flipped the next one, and started laughing.

It was a picture of us play fighting with toy lightsabers.

"Oh, that is classic." I said, laughing at the look of concentration on picture-Jude's face, "Look how serious you look. You legit look like you're trying to kill me."

"I don't remember this one." He said, frowning slightly.

"I don't either." I admit, flipping to the next one.

We were both asleep in this picture. It instantly made me remember the photo that Stef and Lena had taken of Jude and I as we slept the day we went out on our first date, on Father's Day in seventh grade.

Jude's head rested on my shoulder, and it looked like he was drooling a little bit. My head was resting against his. It looked like we fell asleep watching a movie.

I smiled at the picture.

"I'm gonna see if Stef still has the picture of us asleep that they took that day." I said, "It belongs in here."

"Yeah." Jude said, "We've got a lot of pictures that need to go in here."

I flipped to the next picture.

Jude gasped at the date at the bottom corner.

"What is it?"

"This is the last picture isn't it?" He asked.

I flipped to the next page, which was empty, and flipped it back.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"This was taken the day before I went into the foster system." He said.

In the picture, Jude and I were smiling. We were sitting on a bench at the playground, just talking, our hands resting on top of each other innocently.

"I remember the day I found out you left." I said, remembering, "The accident was on a Friday. That Monday, they pulled me out of class in the middle of story time to tell me. They told me that something bad happened, and people got hurt, and that you had to move to a different school. I c-cried so hard. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." He said, "I always wondered what happened to you. Whether you were okay or not."

"I was really sad for a while." I admitted, "The last two years there were miserable without you. Then we moved here in the summer before third grade, and I was enrolled at Anchor Beach. I met Jax, Alex, Carson, and Castor. Then in seventh grade..."

"I came back."

"And saved my life at the same time."

**_I walked quickly through the halls of Anchor Beach, intent on the mission I_** **_was due to carry out. The pain had gotten to be too much. It was all my fault. My parents marriage had disintegrated, and they were getting a divorce, and it was all my fault. I was nothing but a burden to both of them. I didn't deserve to live. I had spent the last few days slowly closing myself off from my friends, and I was heading for the door that led to the stairwell to the roof._ **

**_I walked around a corner and felt myself hit a solid object, shaking me out of my misery. I looked down, and into a pair of wide brown eyes, that held fear and suspicion and veiled pain._ **

**_It was a boy. A small boy. He had a bowl cut haircut, and his eyes were a thousand years too old for the rest of him. He carried a sense of brokenness to him._ **

**_I sensed in him a kindred spirit. Something special, that I couldn't quite put a finger on._ **

**_'Wow, he's cute.' The forbidden voice of my subconscious whispered._ **

**_I shoved the thought from my head viciously, shaking my head violently._ **

**_Then I remembered my manners._ **

**_"I'm sorry!" I said chipper, reaching down to help the kid to his feet, "I wasn't watching where I was going, are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"_ **

**_"N-no." The boy said quietly._ **

**_"Are you sure?" I asked him._ **

**_"Y-yeah. I-I'm sure."_ **

**_I nodded quickly, smiling at him._ **

**_"Um. What's your name?" I asked enthusiastically._ **

**_"J-Jude. J-Jude Jacob." He said._ **

_**"I'm Connor. Connor Stevens." I said happily, reaching our and grasping his hand, shaking it, "Nice** _ _**to meet you Jude."** _

_**"N-nice to meet you too, Connor." He said timidly, "Do you know where this class is? I'm kind of lost."** _

_**He handed me his schedule.** _

_**"Hey, we've**_ _**got math, science and English together." I said happily, "I'm just heading back to math right now. I'll show you the way."** _

_**"T-Thanks." Jude said, offering me a small smile, making my own smile widen.** _

_**"No problem!" I said, "You'll get the hang of it eventually. I did."** _

_**We walked away together, chatting. I did most of the talking. I must have seemed nuts to this kid. I was acting way to chipper to be normal, but I couldn't help myself. I could tell that there was something different about this kid. Something special. Something I needed.** _

_**More importantly, my thoughts of the roof were nonexistent.** _

I shook my head slightly as I came out of the memory.

"Remembering?" Jude asked.

"Yeah." I said, "That was the best day of my life, you know that?"

"Mine too."

We sat in silence for a few moments before Jude broke the silence.

"Do you remember when we walked past the chapel in Vegas?" He asked, "And I asked if you thought we'd get married someday?"

"Yeah," I responded, "I said we would. Why?"

"No reason." He said.

"Come on, JJ." I pressed, "What's on your mind."

"Nothing."

"Juuuuude." I moaned, my head still resting against his, "Pleeeeeease teeeeeeell meeeeeee."

"I want to get married." He said softly, almost inaudibly.

I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked at him, my eyes wide.

"What did you just say?" I asked him.

"I said... I want to get married." He continued softly, "To you. Soon."

"Are... are you sure?" I asked, "We only just graduated."

"And we're living together," He said, cutting me off, "In a house. That we own. We have enough money to last or a while. We are going to the same college. We have the band as a decent backup plan. Why shouldn't we?"

"Is this really what you want, Jude?" I asked.

He nodded immediately.

"I don't have a ring to propose with," He said, "But yeah. I'm sure. I've been thinking about this since Vegas. We've been dating since we were both thirteen years old. I'm eighteen, you'll be nineteen in ten days. We've been dating for five years. If we both want this, then why shouldn't we? I love you more than life itself, and you love me the same amount, if not more. I'll get you a ring as soon as I can, I promise. That is, unless you don't want to?"

I thought about it for all of two seconds.

I leaned in and kissed my new fiancé.

"Of course I want to, JJ." I said.

"So, you'll marry me?" He said, his face lighting up.

"Yes." I said, "I'll marry you, Jude. A thousand times yes."

I had never felt happiness like I felt at that moment, holding Jude as he cried happy tears into my shirt.

But you know what they say about these things...

...For everything good, there is something equal and opposite to balance it out.

Neither of us knew what was happening on the other side of town.

Thirty miles away, a black Charger drove across an intersection.

The driver of the car that ran the red light never even had a chance to hit the brakes as it slammed into the driver side.


	34. Comatose

Connor's POV:

"My Uncle David is calling." I said, as I picked up the phone and answered it.

"C-Connor." Was what came from the other end of the phone.

Oh no.

"What happened?" I asked, immediately knowing something was wrong.

"I need you and Jude to come to the hospital." He said, obviously holding back tears, "Evan and I were on our way home. We had been babysitting Andy. We were going through an intersection. We got broadsided. Evan... he's in really bad shape. The other driver didn't make it."

"How bad is Uncle Evan?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"He... h-he flat lined in the ambulance." Uncle David wept, "He was dead for twelve seconds. They were able to bring him back, but it was close."

I exhaled a breath.

"God fucking damn it." I swore, "Why can't we go a month without this BULLSHIT happening? Have you called the rest of the family yet?"

"I'm going to call them when I hang up with you." He said shakily, "Just please hurry and get up here."

"Does Albus know?" I asked.

"SHIT!" Uncle David exclaimed, "I need you to pick him up from the house and bring him with you. He doesn't know."

"We're on our way now." I said, and hung up the phone.

I felt a surge of adrenaline fueled rage shoot through my body, and I clenched the phone hard in my fist, cracking the screen.

"What happened now?" Jude asked worriedly.

"Uncle Evan and David got into a car accident." I explained shakily, "Uncle Evan had to be revived. He was dead for twelve seconds."

"Oh for fuck sake." Jude mumbled under his breath. "I'm getting really tired of this shit."

"Yeah you and me both." I agreed, "As soon as something good happens, something bad happens to fuck it up. We gotta hurry up and go get Albus and get up there."

We both hurried to get dressed and ranted the whole time. Ten minutes later we pulled out of the driveway in Jude's Aston Martin, and thundered down the street.

Thirty minutes later, because of the thrice damned traffic, we pulled into the driveway of my Uncle's house. I ran up to the door and banged on it.

Albus answered the door.

Now sixteen years old, Albus had grown a lot. He was no longer the goofy little kid, dressed in bright colored outfits that glared at grandpa during that ill fated family dinner.. He was now a tall, curly black haired young man, who resembled a much younger and skinnier version of my Uncle Evan. He had grown to inherit my Uncle's taste in clothes, and was decked in the classic style of black attire. He was wearing his favorite black dress pants, dress shirt, and boots.

He smiled when he saw me, but it quickly fell when he saw the look on my face.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Your dads were in a car accident." I said, "You need to come with us. Now."

He very quickly got his coat. It was a black trench coat.

He practically ran for the car.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at the hospital.

This fucking hospital.

I swear to god, somebody should burn it to the ground.

Uncle David met us at the front door. We didn't even make it inside before a black Suburban flew into the parking lot. My dad and mom got out, and my mom carried baby Andy.

My dad had a look of rage on his face as he stalked towards us. Nobody said a word as we were all led inside.

When we arrived outside of the hospital room in the intensive care unit, the doctor was stepping out of the room.

"How is he doctor?"

"*Sigh*." The doctor said, "Your husband is in bad shape, Mr. Stevens. We've had to put him into a medically induced coma."

"Just call me Dave." Uncle David said, "Four of us here respond to Mr. Stevens. It'll make it less confusing."

"Okay David." He continued, "He's being prepped for surgery right now."

"What about his injuries?" My Dad asked, "How bad are they?"

"And you are...?" The doctor asked.

"Adam Stevens. His older brother." Dad answered.

"He has a cracked skull, and swelling in the brain." The doctor started saying, "He has seven broken ribs, a collapsed lung, we suspect internal bleeding, he lost a lot of blood, his jaw broke when it smashed against the window of your car, his left leg and left arm are broken in several places. The leg is so bad, we might have no choice but to amputate."

Uncle David swayed on the spot. Dad, Jude and I leapt forward and caught him as he fell in a dead faint. I looked my dad in the face, and could see that he was crying as we hauled David over to a chair.

After he was safe in the chair, Dad turned to Jude and I and motioned for us to follow him.

He led us into a private meeting room. He stood there, trying hard not to let the tears fall.

"You okay, dad?" I asked.

He exhaled shakily.

"My baby b-brother..." Was all he got out before falling to his knees.

My dad started sobbing.

I had never seen my dad sob before.

I kneeled before my dad and pulled him into a hug.

"He's gonna be alright dad." I assured him trying desperately to provide some sort of comfort, "If anybody can survive this, it's him. He'll be okay. It'll take a while, but he'll be okay."

It took a whole ten minutes and help from my mom to calm him down. Jude and I were asked to watch Andy for a minute so they could talk to the doctors.

I held my baby brother in my arms, hugging him snuggly to my chest. His little head was tucked under my chin, and I rocked back and forth in an attempt to further sooth the infant. Jude stepped up to rub comforting circles on my back.

I place a kiss on the top of Andy's head, in his messy tuft of auburn hair.

I started crying. I felt a little hand reach up and touch my cheek, right where one of the tears had reached.

I readjusted my hold on him so I could look at his little face.

He was looking at me, with wide blue eyes, and his mouth was open, a small amount of drool starting to seep from the corner of his mouth.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

He smiled at me with a toothless grin and let out a little baby giggle that melted my heart.

He squirmed after a second, and within moments his head was re-tucked under my chin.

"I love you so much. I promise, baby boy." I whispered to him, "I'll never let anybody hurt you. I'll protect you. I'll fight to the very last breath to make sure you are safe. If you ever need anything when you grow up, I'll be there. You are so loved. You have so many people to look out for you, bubby."

I place another kiss on his head.

"Connor?"

We turned to see my parents standing behind us.

"We're gonna stay here." Mom said, "You don't have to. You guys can go home if you want."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. We'll call you when we have more news." Dad said, his voice hoarse.

I handed my little brother back to my mom, kissing the tip of his nose as she took him.

"See you later little buddy."

Giggle.

I smiled softly and turned to Jude.

"Let's go home." I said, "If I have to stay here for another minute I'm gonna jump out of a fucking window."

Jude tensed and looked at me horrified. I winced.

"Sorry. Probably not the best figure of speech to use." I said.

"No. It's not." Jude said quietly.

"Sorry, JJ."

"S'okay. Just... don't say stuff like that." He asked, "Every time you do, the visual flashes before my eyes. I don't want to ever see that."

"I'll try. I promise."

"Connor, wait!"

I turned around to see David walking toward us.

He handed us two folded pieces of paper.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Evan was going to give that to you later today." He said, "We were gonna stop by. You told him that he should write a song for you guys to use. He did. Read the note first. It should explain things first."

I placed the piece of paper in my pocket with the utmost care.

"Thanks Uncle David." I said, "Call us soon as you know more."

We made our way out to the car as quickly as we could, and Jude drove.

He kept driving until we were leaving San Diego.

"Where are we going?"

"Nowhere. Just going for a ride." He said.

I nodded.

He looked over at me, and reached over to grasp my hand.

"He'll be okay." He said.

"I hope so."

I sighed shakily.

"He's done so much for us, Jude." I choked out, "He stood up for us. Taught us to fight and shoot. Paid for the Vegas trip, and enabled you to win all that money. He's bought us a fucking house. He was trying to get the band a recording contract. He's paid for our college. We owe him so much. He can't d-die."

"He won't. He's like a Terminator." Jude said gently, "He's near impossible to kill."

We pulled into the parking lot of an old store. It was deserted.

"What do you think he wrote for the song?" Jude asked.

I pulled out the two pieces if paper. I started reading the note first.

"Dear Jonnor." I read, rolling my eyes at the damned name, "As promised, the song I was asked to write. It isn't my best work. In fact I wrote it in about forty five seconds. I saw a post on Facebook that gave me the idea. It was a picture of a man, who once lived the high life but lost everything and tried to drown the misery in booze. So I figured it would make a really depressing "Fade to Black" style metal ballad. It's up to you guys to write the music though. I'm hopeless on that front. The poem is call 'Memories (All My Love). Enjoy... Love, Evan Stevens."

I unfolded the second sheet of paper and looked at it. I sighed and read the poem written on it.

"All my love to long ago,  
Where all dreams flow,  
Where memories reign,  
And there is no pain.  
So all my love to long ago

As I drift in slumber  
I mourn the old friends lost,  
New friendships strained,  
And old friends estranged.  
So all my love to long ago

I miss it so,  
That time so long ago,  
Back in the good old' days.  
I remain rooted in my old ways.  
In my mind the lost will stay,  
Until my final dying day.

When to sleep I do succumb  
In dream I weep at what I've become  
I sit drunk, deep with rum  
A measly shadow of a nasty bum  
Again I weep for what I've become  
And I weep for long ago.

I drank my life away.  
Now I've nowhere to stay.  
Now I sit and think all day  
That it wasn't worth it anyway.  
Now my life is ruined  
And I just want to die.

I wish for some release  
From my personal hell.  
Will this never cease?  
So far I fell.  
It is hard to tell  
In which circle of hell  
That I reside.

There is no life without love,  
Which is why I pray to heaven above.  
I feel that I'm going insane.  
For now I am a stain,  
Society's bane,  
Only I can feel the strain  
On my failing brain.

So now as the end is nigh  
And I watch my life flash by,  
It's time to say goodbye.  
I give my love to long ago,  
Where all dreams flow,  
Where memories reign,  
And there is no pain.  
So all my love to long ago."

I sighed as I finished reading.

"He really wrote that in forty five seconds?" Jude asked, his eyes slightly red, "How is your Uncle a real human being?"

"Hahaha." I laughed, "Seems like he's more than that, doesn't it? The rest of the Mafia think of him as a god figure."

Jude sobered immediately.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I guess it just hit me," Jude said, crying softly, "That we're all going our separate ways."

"It's not truly goodbye though." I reminded him, "We're all going to college around here. We're in a band with Jax, Jeremy, Austin and Castor. Daria and Taylor are going to College with us. Carson is going to be working at the Youth Drop In Center where Callie worked that one summer. We've all made plans to go paintballing again later in the month, remember?"

"Yeah. But we won't all be seeing each other every day anymore." He said sadly, "I'm going to miss that."

"*Sigh* Yeah, me too." I said, "But our lives are just beginning. We have decades of time to spend with these people."

"Yeah." He said, looking at me, "I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you. You know that, right?"

I smiled and leaned over the center console to give him a sweet kiss.

"I know it very well, my beautiful fiancé."

Jude blushed.

"I still have to get you a ring." He said.

I smiled.

"I'm not in a hurry." I said, "As long as it ends with you and me, standing at the altar, saying I do, I can wait as long as need be."

I kissed him again.

"As long as I'm with you."


	35. Awake And Planning

Connor's POV:

The first day after the accident, they had to amputate his leg.

I have never seen my dad cry so hard in my life, as we all sat by his bedside after the operation.

That was a month ago.

It's been a month since the accident that nearly killed my Uncle.

In that month a lot has happened.

We received word from Blackened Recordings in San Francisco that the recording contract was a go, as soon as my Uncle was well enough to sign it with me and the rest of the band. As a result, Jude, Castor, Jax, Jeremy, Austin and I all went back through our small archive of songs and set about improving them, as well as writing new stuff and fleshing out the ones we already had in progress.

I continued to bond with my baby brother. He loved to lay in his crib and watch Jude and I make funny faces at him. It never failed to cause the baby to burst into hysterical laughter.

Jude and I continued to plan our wedding in secret. We decided that, given the circumstances, we would wait to announce our engagement until after they brought Uncle Evan out of his coma. Jude did go out and fulfill his promise to get me an engagement ring. I carried it with me everywhere.

Today is the day they're gonna bring him out of his medically induced coma. They said he was healed enough. The swelling in his brain had gone down, his ribs and skull were on the mend, and his arm had been surgically repaired. He would still have a long recovery ahead of him, but he was going to live.

I sat in the waiting room with Jude at my side. Uncle Evan had been brought out of his coma ten minutes ago, and my parents, David, and Albus were the first to go in to see him. Jude was scribbling in a small notebook, his eyebrows furrowed in intense concentration, and his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. The cuteness was too much to bear, so I leaned in a pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

He giggled and turned to face me.

"What?" He asked.

"Hi." I said.

"Dork."

"You love it." I said.

"Yeah. I do." He agreed, "When do you think we'll be allowed in to see him?"

"As soon a mom, dad, David and Al come out, we can go in." I told him.

As if on cue, mom, dad, David and Al appeared in the entrance to the waiting room. Dad approached us.

"You can go in now."

Jude and I rose from our seats and walked down the hall to where the door of the room stood open.

Uncle Evan still looked worse for wear, but he was alive, and more importantly he was finally awake. He offered us a small smile, and I approached the bed and gave him a gentle hug. After a moment, I pulled away and allowed Jude to take my place.

"Good to have you back." I said, "You scared us to death, old man."

"Good to be back." Evan said weakly, "I'm sorry I scared you. And who are you calling old, kid?"

Even in this state, with one of his legs missing, he still had a sense of humor.

"How are you feeling?" Jude asked.

"Like I was hit by a car." He said, "Oh wait, I pretty much was. God, that hurts."

He winced, and the stump that remained of his left leg moved.

"I can still feel the limb." He said, "It's like the leg is still there, and the whole thing is on fire. Doctors said it was normal. Phantom limb pain or some stupid shit like that."

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I'll have to get a prosthetic." Evan replied, "One of the new ones they developed. I'm rich enough to afford it, so why not, right? It's gonna be a bitch. I'm gonna have to relearn how to walk again with a new leg. Oh, change of subject! How did you guys like the house?"

I laughed at the sudden change of conversation.

"We love it." I said, "We can't thank you enough for all you've done for us, Uncle Evy."

Evan stared at me wide eyed at the childhood nickname.

"You... you haven't called me that since you were a little boy." He said, "You and your little buddy Tommy used to call me that."

Jude snorted next to me.

"What?" Evan asked.

"Yeah, I've actually got something to tell you about that." I said, "I found out where Tommy is, and what happened to him."

"Really? Awesome, bud." Evan said, "How is he? What happened to him?"

"You're not going to believe this... but Tommy... is Jude." I revealed.

Evan looked at Jude, a thunderstruck expression on his face.

"Are you... are you fucking serious?" He asked, flabbergasted.

"Yeah. Thomas was my middle name before I was adopted." Jude explained, "That's why Connor called me that back then, and I called him Ally because his middle name is Alexander. We were going through that phase where we hated our first names."

"How do you know for sure?" Evan asked.

"We have pictures to prove it." I said, "I didn't believe it either at first, believe me. Jude and I nearly had a coronary when Dad showed up at the house and showed us the pictures."

Evan was staring at Jude with a look of awe.

"I can't believe it. Colleen's little boy, all grown up." He whispered, awestruck, "What else has happened while I was out?"

"We got an e-mail from some company called Blackened Recordings." I said, "They said they were willing to go ahead with the record deal you proposed, and that they would come down and have us sign it as soon as you were well enough to sign it with us."

Evan smirked.

"I'll have to remember to call James later, if I haven't fallen back asleep." He said, "Have him and Lars drive down with the contract."

"Wait, James and Lars?"

"Two of the founders of Blackened Recordings." He said, smirking, "Also... lead singer and drummer for Metallica, the greatest metal band ever to grace the stage of stadiums all across the world."

Jude and I stared, our eyes wide.

"You mean... you know Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield?" Jude nearly screeched.

It was times like this moment when I truly doubted my Uncle wasn't either a demigod, or a secret real life incarnation of Doctor Who. Just when I think he's reached the peak of his nearly cartoonish acts, he wallops us with something that nearly sends our hearts into cardiac arrest.

"How the FUCK are you on first name terms with them?" Jude and I squeaked in unison.

"That, my dear Jonnor," He said, smirking as I growled at the relationship title, "Is a question which is for me to know, and for you to salivate at the thought of discovering the answer."

Jude stared at him wide eyed.

"You are a GOD!"

Evan laughed uproariously, wincing slightly at the strain on his ribs.

"Not exactly." He said, "I just have a lot of famous friends."

Jude started sputtering, but Evan looked supremely smug and continued on speaking.

"Anyway... what else happened?" Evan asked.

"Can you promise to keep a secret?" Jude asked.

"Hey, it's me." Evan said, "Of course I can."

Jude and I shared a look and nodded. We reached into our pockets and withdrew the engagement rings that lay within, and put them on our fingers.

"Holy shit." Evan said.

He stared at out rings in shock, but after a moment the look of shock morphed into one of absolute glee and he released a loud guffaw of laughter.

It took him a few moments to regain composure. When he did, his eyes were red and tears were leaking down his face.

"I can't believe it." He said, "My nephew is getting married. I am SO proud of you two. Who else knows?"

"Jax, Taylor, Daria, and my brother Brandon." Jude answered, "Jax is going to be Connor's best man, Brandon is going to be mine. Daria and Taylor appointed themselves our "best woman" and Taylor has placed herself in charge of planning things for us. We told her what we wanted, and she's already started planning it within our budget."

"Don't worry about the money aspect." Evan said, waving his hand at us, "I'll pay for everything."

"We don't want you to have to keep paying for stuff for us." Jude said, "It's too much."

"Do you two know how much money I have?" Evan said in a deadpan voice.

Jude and I shook our heads in the negative.

"When I first started out in business," He continued, "It was using the $5,000,000 that my old friend left me in his will. The friend that gave me the revolver that I gave to you, Jude. I invested a whole million dollars in stocks and various businesses. Then I completely forgot about it. Cashed in my investments many years later for almost fifteen times my original budget. Trust me, I can pay for a wedding. With all the money I make a year from the business and new investments, I'd never need to work a day in my life if I wanted to. The only reason I work is because not working would be dreadfully boring. Hell, I have so much money, I could probably buy tower one of the new World Trade Center, and half of tower two. Money is one thing in my life I know I'll never have to worry about."

We both stared at him, our eyes still wide, which was quickly becoming their default setting in his presence.

"What do you guys have planned?"

"We want it to be on the beach." I said, "We want it to be small. Just the family, members of the Mafia."

Evan snorted.

"Still find it hilarious that you guys call your group of friends the Mafia." He said, chuckling.

"Yeah, it wasn't us." Jude said.

"I think it was Jax who started calling us that, and it just caught on." I continued.

"When is it?"

"As soon as you can stand at the altar." I said, voicing a decision Jude and I had made weeks previously.

"What?" Evan asked.

"We want you to marry us." Jude said, "You can get ordained online. You have done so much for us."

"You taught us how to defend ourselves." I continued, "Your lessons saved our lives during the shooting at Anchor Beach."

"You paid for our trip to Vegas." Jude said.

"You gave Jude gambling money that he was able to turn into a small fortune." I said.

"You helped to buy us a house." Jude said.

"You've got a record contract lined up for us." I said, "You're like... you've built the foundation for our future. We owe you everything. And we would be beyond honored if you would preside over the wedding. It would mean the world to us."

Evan looked between the two of us, tears of happiness flowing freely down his cheeks."

"The honor would be mine, boys." He said, choking back a watery laugh, "I would be happy to."

Jude and I both wrapped him in a hug.

"I love you both, so much." Evan said, "And I am so happy for you two."

We separated from the embrace and Evan wiped his eyes.

"So, where do you want to go on your honeymoon?" He asked.

"We don't know yet, exactly." Jude said, "We haven't decided yet."

"Yeah, we were thinking about either going back to Vegas, or going somewhere new." I said

Evan nodded.

"Ever heard of Mackinaw Island?" Evan asked.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Mackinaw Island." He continued, "It's an island in Lake Huron, off the lower peninsula of Michigan. Beautiful place in the summer. No cars are allowed on the island, except for emergency vehicles, so there is practically no pollution. I could book you two a room at the Grand Hotel on the island for a week. Beaches, gift shops, the old fort, walking trails. That's where I went on my honeymoon with David."

Jude and I shared a look.

"It sounds wonderful." We said.

"Then that's settled." Evan said.

Jude and I wrapped him in another hug.

"How will we ever be able to repay you."

"You two owe me nothing." Evan said, "You both mean the world to me. Nothing I do for you, ever has to be repaid."

We visited for ten more minutes, before the nurse came in and gave him his meds, Evan started to fall asleep again from the pain medication. We bid our farewells with hugs, and Jude and I walked out of the hospital hand in hand.


	36. Revealing the Engagement

Connor's POV:

It's November now. Things are going good again, for everybody in the extended family.

As Jude and I stand side by side, about to reveal our engagement to our large extended family, it strikes me just how much has happened in the last couple of months.

Jude had turned nineteen, and we celebrated his 19th birthday with dinner, a movie, and a surprise party in the backyard at the Fosters house. It didn't start out the best, since I forgot that Jude still reacts badly to shocks and surprises since the shooting. So when everybody jumped out and screamed SUPRISE, Jude yelped and dove behind the picnic table. After he realized what was really going on though, he was ecstatic, and thoroughly enjoyed the party.

Uncle Evan was released from the hospital and the plan for the record contract went forward. The night it was signed, it came as a surprise. Uncle Evan, wheelchair bound until he could get his prosthetic fitted, took us all out to a restaurant for dinner. When we arrived at our table to find James and Lars waiting for us, Castor fainted. Jeremy and Austin stood stock still in shock. Jude and I both stared at them in awe. Jax shook both of their hands furiously, babbling away about how much he loved their work. It was a fun night, and by the end of the night, we had signed a contract or seven albums, to be recorded and released over a period of a maximum of ten years.

We began recording the next day, using the state of the art equipment that Evan has assembled in his basement recording studio. We're a month into recording, and we've got four out of eight songs completely finished, with Jude and I splitting lead vocal duties 50/50 on each song. We had recorded Jax's monstrously long "Demon's Charm" first, which took us the longest, since it's thirteen minutes long. After, we recorded a short three minute filler song that I wrote one night with Jude called "Headbanger". After that we recorded "Waterfall of Tears", the first song I ever wrote. It turned out to be six minutes long, because Jax and Austin had wrote a really complex guitar solo that was put at the end of the song. The last song we recorded so far was "Loss", the second song I ever wrote. It was the only piece on the album that was entirely acoustic, straying from the doom, groove and thrash metal style of the rest of the songs.

We've still got to finish and record four more songs that we have cued up. "Born to Be" was the next song we were going to record. It was the song Jude wrote, that described a gay mans fight to escape a conversion camp. After that we had Evan's "Memories (All My Love)". Jax and Castor wrote the music for it, and it had a really haunting tone to it. The song after that was called "Suicide" which was a doomy seven minute long thing that the whole band wrote together, that described a man's suicidal thoughts. The final song that we were going to work on was called "Flattened". It was another group effort, that everybody but Jude and I had a hand in writing. It described a man getting his revenge on his cheating significant other and the person she cheated with. After we get all the songs recorded, the mixing and mastering begins. We didn't expect to actually release the album until around June of next year at the latest, April at the earliest.

Anyway, on to the rest of the family.

Brandon had moved out of the Fosters house, and had a steady girlfriend named Jenna. She was a beautiful girl, with strawberry blonde hair who spoke with a soft Scottish brogue. She was a feisty woman, more than capable of keeping Brandon in line. She also adores Jude and I. Brandon had introduced her to Jude and I before any of the other siblings, because we ran into them at the mall one day. She ended up defending us later that day at the mall when some old guys called Jude and I a few less than appropriated names. It was the most epic dressing down I have ever seen. Jude and I both told Brandon that he better not screw it up, because she was a gem.

Jesus surprised the entire family by dropping an enormous bombshell by bringing home his own significant other. He had been in a relationship with somebody since the middle of my junior year. The relationship had been kept a quasi secret. The entire family knew of its existence, but Jesus was keeping his cards extremely close to his chest. He offered no details, and refused to tell anybody anything about who his significant other was. His only response was that he wasn't ready to introduce them yet.

We discovered why on Halloween.

The whole family had been assembled at the Fosters house for a party. Everybody was in costumes. Jude was dressed as the Terminator, while I was dressed as a secret agent with a lightsaber. Jesus arrived a half hour into the party, looking extremely nervous, and shaking like a leaf. When asked why he looked like he was about to have a heart attack, he said he had somebody to introduce to everybody.

Mariana started squealing, and asked if he was finally introducing his girlfriend. Jesus turned really red and said she was close. Everybody gathered in a group as Jesus went back into the house to retrieve his significant other. He came back five minutes later, tugging somebody behind him. The person had chocolate brown hair, green eyes, and was a whole foot shorter than Jesus.

It was also not a girl. It was a boy.

Nobody expected that, and everybody stared in barefaced shock as Jesus introduced him to all of us. His name was Cody. He was soft-spoken, and incredibly shy, and spent the first half hour of the night practically hiding behind Jesus. After Jude and I introduced ourselves, he started to open up a little. Apparently Cody and Jesus met on campus during freshman orientation on their first day of college and had become quick friends.

They both started developing feelings for each other after about a month of friendship, each other thought the other was straight and had no chance. They stayed best friends until one day, when Cody was jumped on campus. Jesus saw it, and rushed in to help, and decimated the attacker with skills he had picked up from wrestling. During the ensuing talk, Cody kissed Jesus. It only lasted a second, and Cody pulled away and started apologizing profusely, tearfully begging for forgiveness. Jesus responded by simply kissing him again.

We asked Jesus later if that meant he was bi, but he told us he was pansexual. Neither Jude or I had ever heard of that before. He explained it that he saw gender or sex irrelevant when he was looking for a significant other. When asked how long he had identified as such by Stef and Lena, he said he had always identified as that, but had never stated it because he felt it was nobody's business but his, and how he likes to keep things very private. Jude hugged his older brother, and told him he was glad he found somebody.

Mariana and Mat had got back together, and had moved into a small apartment together. It came as a shock to everybody, since we all remembered that Mariana's relationship with Mat had ended on not so amicable terms. It had ended in a two hour screaming match that Callie had dubbed the "Battle Royale". When Mariana had announced that they were back together, the looks on everybody's faces said the same thing: Da fuq?

Callie was in college studying to become a social worker, living in the dorms, and had met someone as well. His name was Ronnie, and he was basically a male version of Callie personality wise. He was very tall, had short spike hair.

With all the kids moved out of the house, Stef and Lena had the house to themselves for the first time in decades. They were in the process of getting their foster licenses renewed. They found life at home without us to be boring and decided that they wanted to help more kids like they helped Jesus, Mariana, Jude and Callie.

Mom and Dad were still happy together, and focused on raising Andy. Baby Andy was growing, and at three and bit months old, he was crawling around my parents house at quick speed, giggling all the way at his newfound mobility. Jude and I had babysat him at our house a few times when Mom and Dad asked us to, and we found that we enjoyed taking care of him. It gave me a chance to bond with my infant brother, and it also gave me a little glimpse into what the future could potentially hold if Jude and I ever decided to adopt kids.

Things with the members of the Mafia were going well too.

Jax is back to being as close to normal as he's medically capable of being. He no longer has trouble walking, although he does carry a cane around with him just in case. He and Daria are very happy together and are excited for the wedding. Jax, as my best man, is planning a bachelor party for me, while Brandon and Jesus are planning Jude's. I have absolutely no idea what Jax has planned, but knowing his crazy ass, it'll be epic.

Taylor and Castor are still together, although you wouldn't guess it by watching them together. They bicker so much it's a bit ridiculous. I made the mistake of asking them once why they argued all the time.

"This? That's not arguing. This is foreplay."

That's what they said.

Ugh.

Alex was enjoying college. He was going to UCSD with Jude and I, and he was studying to become a politician. He threw himself into his classes with a fervor that surprised many of us.

Carson had come a long way since graduation. He was taking online classes, and he finally started dating. He met his first boyfriend, Danny, at a under 21 bar a week after graduation. They met when Danny nearly knocked Carson over, and bought him a drink while apologizing profusely. Later that night, Danny and Carson exchanged phone numbers with the promise of a date the Saturday after. About a month later, Carson decided that it was time to tell Danny about the fact he was transgender. He told him after they had dinner one night, and Carson couldn't get the words out without sobbing. Danny took him into his arms and hugged him, assuring him the he still wanted to date him, and that Carson being transgender changed nothing.

Jeremy and Austin were still together, and both were going to college with us. Jeremy was going to school to be an attorney. He wanted to put people like his deceased uncle in prison where they deserved to rot for eternity. Austin was going to school to be a teacher.

Castor was the only one of us not going to college. With the record contract signed, he said he wanted to focus most of his time on the band and his relationship with Taylor.

But back to the present.

Today, we were announcing our engagement to the entire family.

We had asked them all to gather at the beach, at what had become our "Mafia's" designated assembly point. Everybody was there.

"Okay, you two. What's going on?" Dad asked.

"Jude and I have an announcement to make." I said.

"Now, Taylor, Daria, Jax, Brandon, and Evan already know about this." Jude continued, "We were waiting until now to tell you all, because we wanted to wait until Evan was well enough again."

"Stop beating around the bush you two." Jesus said, "Just tell us already."

Cody poked Jesus in the side.

"Don't be rude, Zeus." He said.

"What? I'm curious." Jesus said.

"Yeah, but you are being rude." Cody said.

"Sorry." Jesus said.

Cody gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Anyway, we have been planning this for months." I said, "Jude, do you want to say it or should I?"

"Why don't we just show them?"

I nodded in agreement, and Jude and I reached into our pockets and withdrew the rings. We slipped them onto our fingers and displayed them to the family for the first time.

"Holy shit." Dad said.

"Jude and I are going to get married." I said, smiling happily.

A cacophony on noise followed the pronouncement. Mariana and Callie both started squealing. Jesus started clapping, and wolf whistled at us. The entirety of the Mafia were cheering and clapping. Mom, Dad, Stef and Lena all moved forward as one, and wrapped us in a group hug.

"I'm so proud of you two." Dad said, after the embrace was broken.

"Thanks dad." I said, a wide grin splitting my face.

"I'm so happy for you two." Mom said as she hugged me again tightly.

"When's the wedding?" Lena asked.

"We're planning to have it before the album comes out." Jude said, "Probably in May."

"We want something small, just the family and all of our friends." I said.

"That's not that small." Castor pointed out.

"Anyway, we wanted to have it on the beach." I continued, "Casual dress. No tuxedos or anything to serious. We've even picked out the song we're going to have our first dance to."

"That's so romantic." Mariana said, "Where are you guys going on your honeymoon?"

"I've booked them a week at the Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island in Michigan." Evan said, "It's where Dave and I had our honeymoon. Beautiful place."

"That must have cost a fortune." Stef said.

Evan rolled his eyes at the underestimation of his wealth.

"I have more money than I will ever be able to spend." He said, "I might as well use it to spoil the people I love."

We spent the rest of the meeting being hugged by everybody and congratulated on our engagement, and eventually it became an impromptu planning session. As I stood there, side by side with the man I loved, surrounded by the people that meant the most to me in this world, I couldn't help but feel blessed.


	37. The Wedding

Connor's POV:

I stood staring at my reflection in the mirror, debating whether or not to shave.

I had to look perfect for today.

The day long awaited had finally arrived.

May 15th, 2020.

My wedding day.

Today was the day I would become the husband of one Jude Adams Foster.

Just thinking that sentence makes me want to squeal in unrestrained glee.

We woke up early this morning to loud knocking on the front door. We both got up to answer the door, and were ambushed by Brandon, Jesus, Jax, Taylor, Callie and Mariana.

"Okay, so here is how today is going to work." Callie started.

"We are going to take Jude with us, and get him ready at mommas' house." Mariana continued.

"We are going to stay here with you, and help you get ready here." Brandon said, motioning to himself Jax, and Jesus.

Jude and I had planned this down to the letter, and nodded our agreement. Jude went into our bedroom, got dressed, and returned. He place a kiss on my cheek and smiled at me.

"See you later." He said, before being whisked off by his sisters and our friend, leaving me alone with Brandon, Jesus and Jax.

"We only have about an hour and a half before we have to be at the beach." Jesus said, "So we have to hurry."

The first thing I did, was paint my nails the classic shade of blue. After they dried, I rushed into my room and pulled my tuxedo from the closet and dressed quickly. Brandon helped me tie my blue bowtie.

The whole time, a dopey smile was still plastered on my face.

"You excited?" Brandon asked.

"Yeah. Extremely." I said, turning to Jax, "You feeling okay? Bruises finally fade?"

He groaned and Jesus and Brandon laughed.

I was, of course, talking about my bachelor party a week previously.

Jax, as my best man, had thrown me a party at his new place. There was a lot of alcohol present. Every single person present had gotten paralytic drunk. The last thing I remembered from that night was taking a swig of Jägermeister and thinking the taste was nasty before switching to vodka. I woke up the next morning with no clothes on, no memory of the night before, and the apartment around me destroyed. Apparently, according to Castor, later that night I switched back to Jägermeister. Jägermeister is rumored to have a certain opiate in it that makes certain people really violent when they drink too much of it. According to everybody who could remember, Jax and I are two of those people. We ended up wrestling, which turned into a brawl that destroyed the apartment.

Jude wasn't very happy when he saw the pictures.

In fact I don't think I've ever seen him so pissed in his life.

The glare he gave me was enough to make men of weaker constitutions wet their pants and cry for their mothers.

In all fairness, Jude's bachelor party three days later, was just as nuts from what I can tell. Daria and Jax were acting as their designated driver. When they delivered Jude home at three in the morning, they were supporting him between them. He so drunk he couldn't stand up, and he looked to be passed out. I carried him, bridal style, to our bed and tucked him in. Daria and Jax told me that he was apparently the silliest person on the face of the Earth when he was drunk, and had passed out in the midst of a roaring fit of giggles on the floor of Daria's apartment.

I was glad that we had opted to have separate bachelor parties, because I knew for a fact that it would have ended badly if Jude is a silly drunk, and me an angry drunk. Angry people and silly people don't mix when they are inebriated.

Jude and I both got the riot act read to us by Stef, Lena, Mom and Dad as they lectured us about the danger of underage drinking. They said, that although they couldn't stop us, since we no longer live under their roofs, they strongly advised against doing it again. They didn't have to tell us twice. We both agreed to never drink that much again, even after we turned 21. Neither of us wanted to have to deal with the monstrosity of a hangover again, and to be honest I was a little scared of my drunken self. I didn't want to get hammered and hurt Jude by accident in a drunken stupor. I would never forgive myself.

"Yeah, they've faded." He said, "You ready to go, brother?"

I nodded, and we all walked out the door.

The next time I came back to this house, I would be a married man.

We got in the Chevelle and drove down to the beach next to Anchor Beach. Jude and I had chosen that as the place to have the wedding because it was the place where everything really started for us. Its where our friendship restarted. It's where we saved each other's lives.

When we arrived, most of the guests had already arrived. We made our way to the altar, and to our places next to my Uncle Evan, who stood there in his best suit, leaning on a cane to try to take some weight of his new prosthetic leg, which was top of the line but still ached some times. I looked at everybody assembled. In the front row, Mom and Dad sat next to each other, baby Andy sat nestled between them. They grinned at me through happy tears, and I returned the grin brightly.

My Aunt Caroline sat next to them, with Julius and Uncle David sitting next to her. Albus sat next to David, and gave me a smile and a thumbs up when we made eye contact. Grandma Madeline and Grandpa Alexander sat next to them, both looking happy. Stef and Lena sat next to them, and I notice with pride that my grandpa, formerly one of the most homophobic people I knew to exist, was chatting happily with Stef and Lena, who sat next to them.

Everything was in place. I turned and hugged my uncle.

"Thank you. For everything." I said.

"You never have to thank me for anything." He said.

Then the music started. I broke the embrace and turned around.

Jude was being escorted up the aisle by his dad, who looked as though he was only seconds away from bursting into tears.

Jude looked beautiful. He was dressed in the same ensemble as me, a classic black tuxedo, with a blue bowtie and a blue flower in his breast pocket. His long hair was free from its customary pony-tail and fell gently to his shoulders, framing his face. As he reached me, he grinned widely, which I returned with a grin of my own. Donald hugged his son close.

"I am so proud of you." Donald said.

Jude hugged him back tightly.

"Thanks dad." He said.

Donald wrapped me in a hug.

"Take care of my boy." He said.

"Always." I said, turning back to Jude, "You look amazing."

"So do you." Jude said.

Evan cleared his throat as the music stopped and everybody took their seats.

"Dearly beloved," Evan said, "We are gathered here today in the sight of god, to celebrate the joining of these two men in holy matrimony."

Jude and I tuned out my Uncles words and got lost in each other's eyes. We didn't even notice him stop speaking ten minutes later until Brandon and Jax poked us each in the back to bring us back to our senses.

"The couple have written their own vows, and will read them now." Evan said.

"When I was young, living in San Francisco," I started, "I had a friend. I met him my first day of preschool. We did everything together, he and I. Inseparable. Then, about halfway through kindergarten, he disappeared. Never knew what happened to him, but I missed him more than you could imagine. Years passed, friends came and go, and it seemed like my life had started to disintegrate around me. My parents got divorced. I got depressed, and sunk."

I smiled and took Jude hand in mine.

"Then, one day, at my lowest, unknown to the both of us, I met a boy named Jude." I said, smiling at him, "I had no idea, that he was my childhood friend returned to unknowingly save my life."

Jude smiled at me, and I smiled back, staring into his eyes.

"Jude, I have been imagining this day for a long time." I said, "In the beginning, I thought it was a pipe dream. With my dad the way he was back then about gay people, I always thought the notion of being with you was a flight of fancy. But... here we are. It's been seven years, since the day I re-met you. Six and a bit since we started dating. I remember the moment we decided to be boyfriends. It's a moment I'll never forget, laying scared in a hospital bed, begging for forgiveness for treating you the way I did. After you left, when I went to sleep, I dreamt about today."

Tears started to flow from my eyes.

"We rebuilt each other from the ground up, you and I." I said, "We've fought to be where we are right now. We've faced trials that would make others wilt in minutes, and we made it through to the other side in one piece, still by each other's side, still madly in love. I love everything about you, Jude. I love your smile. I love the cute way your eyes scrunch when you smile really wide, and the breathless way you laugh when you find something really funny. I love how the first thing you do in the morning after I brush my teeth is kiss me. I love how safe you make me feel. I can't go a single day without hearing your beautiful voice, seeing your beautiful face. I never have been able to go to long without seeing you, and I never have to worry about that again. Today, I am the happiest man on Earth. I promise you, that I will always love you, JJ. I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make you happy, everything I can to make you feel loved. With this ring, I make you that promise."

I slid the ring onto his finger.

"Connor." He said, wiping a tear away, "There is a moment in everybody's life. A moment when you realize you are right where you belong, where you were always meant to be. That moment for me, was the first time you ever held me in your arms. You were the first person besides my family that made me feel safe. The first person that made me feel loved, wanted, needed. You took a chance on me, a kid you THOUGHT you'd never met (There was some scattered laughter in the audience at this), and you made me feel like everything in the world was going to be okay, when all I had known for many years was suffering, disappointment and pain."

He paused to wipe more tears away.

"It was a rocky road to get to this moment." He continued, "We helped each other recover from our traumas. We had to literally walk through hails of bullets to be here, and as nuts as it sounds, I wouldn't trade a single moment. I promise that I will always be there for you when you need me. I will love you forever, and as we grow old together, I know that love will only strengthen. With this ring, I make you that promise."

He slid the ring onto my finger.

"Do you, Jude Jacob Adams Foster, take this man, Connor Alexander Stevens, to be your lawful wedded husband?" Evan asked.

"I do."

"Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, for so long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

Evan turned to me.

"Do you, Connor Alexander Stevens, take this man, Jude Jacob Adams Foster, to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do." I said, my smile so wide I could barely talk.

"Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, for so long as you both shall live?"

"I do," I looked Jude in the eyes, "Always."

"By the power vested in me by the state of California," Evan said, "I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom."

I wrapped my arms around Jude's waist and pulled him close and place my lips to his, and even after seven years, I couldn't stop the shiver that it caused. The world around us faded away, the clapping and applause of the wedding guests fading into the background, and it was just me and him. My arms holding him. My lips on his. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him even closer, deepening the kiss. As we pulled apart, we stood there, foreheads touching, and stared into each other's eyes.

"I am proud to introduce, for the very first time, Mr's Jude and Connor Adams-Foster." Evan said, "Now if everybody would join us for the reception at Stef and Lena's house, we can start this party."

Jude and I laughed at his joke, and we walked back down the aisle, smiling, our arms wrapped around each other's waists, holding each other close. When we reached the Chevelle we got in and I started the engine. I turned in my seat, and looked at my new husband. My heart fluttered.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." He said.

We learned in for a quick kiss. After we separated, I drove us to the Fosters house for the reception.

It took about twenty minutes for everybody to arrive. Jude and I took our places at the head of the table set up in the back yard, and everybody else took their places as well.

Jax stood up and clinked his fork against the side of his glass and everybody was quiet.

"Okay, time for the speeches." He said, "What can I say about you two that hasn't already been said? First, Jude. I remember the day I met him. WAY back in seventh grade. I sat with him and Connor at lunch a few times. I stopped when Connor, being the frightful closet case that he was at the time, was making out with my current girlfriend Daria, his ex, in front of us. At first impression, Jude seemed like he was simply Connor's funny sidekick who spent almost every waking moment at his side. But when you know what to look for, you could tell that it was more than that. I met Connor when he moved here in third grade. We became friends quickly, and I can safely claim that I know him better than everybody but Jude, and his mom and dad."

He turned and smirked at me.

"I already suspected, of course, that Jude was crushing on Connor." Jax continued, "I knew for a fact that Connor was crushing on him back. I knew him well enough to be able to tell. Didn't hurt that he was painfully obvious about it."

I chuckled, nodding.

"Every time Jude would enter the room, Connor would light up like a Christmas tree." Jax said, "When he thought nobody was looking, he would stare at him with this dopey little smile on his face. He would talk about him nonstop, bouncing in his seat like an excited puppy the whole time."

Jude and several others laughed.

"But all kidding aside," Jax said, "I am so happy for you two. You deserve this more than anybody in the world, and I wish you both the best of luck in the future. You are both my brothers, and I love you both more than you'll ever know. To Jude and Connor."

He raised his glass and drained it. Brandon stood next.

"When I first met my little brother," He said bluntly, "I ended up having a gun waved around in my face by his lunatic foster father. Then I fell for his sister."

Jude snorted.

"I'm actually surprised he picked me as his best man." He continued, "With all the trouble I caused when he first arrived."

Snickering.

"Um. I'm not really good at speeches, in case you haven't noticed already." Brandon said, "I am so happy for you both. I couldn't imagine a better person to marry my little brother. Connor, you've been a part of my family for years already, and I am proud to finally be able to officially call you my brother in law."

He raised his glass and toasted us.

My dad stood next.

"When I first met Jude... or well, the second time anyway, since I didn't know it was him," Dad said, "My first thought was to ask myself why the hell Connor had became friends with him. After Jude demanded entrance to see Connor after he was shot, I asked myself who this punk thought he was. Looking back on it now, I know. It took me a long time to come terms with their relationship. It took me a long time, too long, to see that their relationship was something to be treasured, something to be protected. I am proud to call you my son, Connor. I am proud, to call your husband my son too."

Jude and I stood and gave him a hug.

"Thanks dad." I said.

"I love you both. Never forget that." He said after we pulled out of the hug.

After all the speeches were finished and Jude and I had cut the cake, Uncle Evan stood back up.

"Now, it's time for the first dance." Evan said.

The music started. It was mine and Jude's song. Matt Alber's cover of Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". It was the song that played the first time we ever slow danced together, all those years ago. I rose from my eat and offered my hand to Jude.

"Do you wanna dance?" I asked, mirroring my actions from Jude and my first ever dance.

"I'd love to." He said, and took my hand, allowing himself to be led out into the middle of the yard.

As we stood there, surrounded by our family and friends, holding each other in a loving embrace, swaying gently from side to side with our bright future together on the horizon, Jude and I both were right where we belonged. In each other's arms.


	38. Flight to Mackinac Island

Connor's POV June 1st 2020:

Jude and I have been married for two weeks, and we are finally leaving on our honeymoon. We didn't leave right away, was because all the rooms at the Grand Hotel were booked until the 1st of June. For the two week gap between our wedding and honeymoon, Jude and I started to settle into married life. We were also kept busy with final preparations for finishing the album.

We released two singles from the album to proceed its release. We released "Born To Be" as the first single and "Demon's Charm" as the second single. They actually did pretty well for debut singles by a band that barely anybody had ever heard of, and they were getting a decent amount of airplay. "Born To Be" debuted at #62 on the Billboard Hot 100, while "Demon's Charm" debuted at #39 on the Billboard Hot 100, which means we actually already have a Top 40 hit. Barely, but it still counts. When Jude and I heard "Demon's Charm" playing on the radio for the first time, we nearly crashed the car in our excitement.

We finished mixing and mastering the final songs and sent the finished product in to Lars and James a week ago. The album would be released while Jude and I were on our honeymoon. The album would be titled "Cursed", and it was being released on June 3rd 2020. The album cover featured a picture of the whole band, dressed in black, against a black background, and all of our eyes were photo shopped to be fire engine red, the bands logo across the top left corner, and the album name across the bottom center. The back of the case featured the track listing and writing credits, and all the other information. James also told us that Lars was booking us a the opener for Testament on their summer tour, which began August 1st in San Francisco, the birthplace of some of the greatest bands ever to play heavy metal.

We left the airport in San Diego earlier this morning aboard a plane that my uncle had chartered for us to take us straight to the island. Apparently the island has its own airport, even if it is a bit small. James sent us an advance copy to listen to on the plane on the way to Mackinaw Island. As I sit here, in a seat on a Lear jet on the way across the country with my husband, staring down at the jeweled CD case in my hands, I breathe a sigh of contentment.

"Hard to believe isn't it?" Jude asked, "That album is ours, and it's finally finished."

"Yeah." I agreed, "No kidding."

"Which songs did Jax, James and Lars decide to put on it anyway?" He asked.

We had recorded upwards of twenty songs. We put Jax in charge of choosing eleven of them to go on the album, since he had an ear for it, and he went to James and Lars with his choices for approval. He didn't tell us what his choices actually were, but he told us we would be happy with it. I flipped the case over and read off the track listing aloud.

"1. Demon's Charm (Jax Finnegan).  
2\. Memories (Evan Stevens).  
3\. Headbanger (Connor Adams Foster/Jude Adams Foster).  
4\. Waterfall of Tears (Connor Adams Foster).  
5\. Inequality For All (Jude Adams Foster).  
6\. Devil's Due (Castor Johnson).  
7\. Day Of Reckoning (Austin Beverly).  
8\. Suicide (C. Adams Foster/J. Adams Foster/J. Finnegan/A. Beverly/J. Robertson/C. Johnson).  
9\. My Demons (Starset Cover).  
10\. Flattened (Jeremy Robertson).  
11\. Empire of Dust (Connor Adams Foster/Jude Adams Foster)."

"We've got more writing credits than everybody else does." Jude points out.

"I wonder why." I said, confused, "I thought Jeremy's Karma's A Bitch would be on here for sure. It was better than Headbanger was."

"I don't know." Jude said, "We'll ask them when we get back. For now though..."

He got out of his seat and plopped down in the chair next to mine, and laid his head on my shoulder.

"Let's listen to our masterpiece shall we?" He said, giving me a kiss.

"Yes, sir." I joked, smiling into the kiss.

We popped the CD into Jude's laptop and listened through it. The new album version of "Demon's Charm" was different than the original version. The original version Jax wrote years ago was almost thirteen minutes long, and had a really doomy tone to it, a slow tempo and clean vocals. The new version was only seven minutes twenty seconds long, and was a fast paced thrash song with rough vocals on the verses, which I sing, and screamed vocals on the chorus, which Jude sings.

"Sounds better than the original." Jude commented, bobbing his head to the music.

"Yeah." I said, as the chorus came on, "I still can't believe you can scream like that."

"I can't either." He agreed, "I had to go to a vocal coach to be able to do it."

"I have no clue how we are going to play this live." I commented, "I don't think Austin or Jax will have trouble with the guitar parts, but Castor'll need an adrenaline shot to play that drum line properly. I don't know about Jeremy."

"He'll be fine." Jude said, "He practiced that bass line so many times, he could play it with his eyes closed. He might have to wear leather gloves so his fingers do end up bleeding, but he won't have a problem with it."

"I can't believe this became a top 40 hit." I commented, "Thrash has been fizzling out for years. Not enough new bands coming in to replace the old ones that are retiring."

"Have James or Lars talked about retiring yet?" Jude asked.

"I don't know, I'd have to ask them." I said, "Uncle Evan would probably know."

"Well, yeah, but he knows everything." Jude said.

"I don't think they'll ever retire." I said, "I don't think Robert or Kirk will either. I mean, they're fucking Metallica. The day they disband is the day metal will probably die."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Jude said, "Thrash maybe, but metal as a whole? No. I mean, if they broke up tomorrow, you'd still have a lot of good bands out there. You'd have the rest of the big 4: Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer. Then you'd have bands like Avenged Sevenfold, Slipknot, and Machine Head. And Judas Priest and Iron Maiden are still going."

"That is true." I conceded.

The second song came on. "Memories" was the song that my Uncle had written, that was given to me the day of the big accident that nearly killed him. It was only six minutes long, but I think it pack a certain punch. The final product reminds me a bit of the Avenged Sevenfold song "SO Far Away" in its tone. Jude and I took turns singing the verses, and all vocals were clean. It was also the only song on the album that used an acoustic guitar for the whole song.

The song "Headbanger" was next, and as we listened to it Jude and I giggled softly. It was meant to be a joke song that we had written with each other in less than twenty minutes. It was fast paced, and almost had a punk rock vibe to it. I could hear Jude laughing in the background of the song every time the word Headbanger was shouted at the end of the three line verses.

"I can't believe he put this on here." Jude commented laughing, "This song was meant as a joke. It's too tongue in cheek to be on the album."

"I don't know, I like that about it." I said amused, "All the other songs are so serious, this makes a nice reprieve."

The next song, "Waterfall of Tears", was as hard for me to listen to as it was for me to record the vocal tracks to. It was the first song I had ever wrote, way back after my relapse into self harm. It was very important to me, and listening to it in all its glory was something else. It was classic groove metal. Slow tempo, grinding guitar riff, downturned guitars, and vocals that growled with a certain menace that I didn't realize I could do.

"I can't believe that's me singing." I commented, "I didn't realize I sounded like that."

"Yeah, we were all kind of surprised." Jude said honestly, "I didn't know you could sound so menacing."

"Inequality For All" came next. It was the only song we hadn't changed a lot of stuff around on for the final product. It was the same song we had cobbled together the first time we ever practiced as a band, and the same song we recorded for the demo. It was a song that Jude had written for an assignment in Poetry in our freshman year of high school, and the lyrics had remained unchanged since. The only difference between the original and final versions were the sound quality.

"Devil's Due" was a song neither Jude or I were to sure about. It was Castor's song. It was as close as we could get to a Slayer song without actually being one. It was also the only song on the album that neither Jude or I sing on. We both refused to sing on it, because it made us uncomfortable. It was the nastiest thing on the album. Literally, the second word of the song was "cunt", a word which Jude and I both don't like using. Thankfully, it was the shortest song on the album, at only two minutes thirty even seconds.

"What the fuck were they thinking?" Jude said, "Putting that on the album?"

"I have no clue." I agreed, "I think Corruption would have been better than this thing. At least you and I won't have to sing it if we play it live."

"That is true. Why did he even write this?" Jude asked.

"He told me that some old lady at his church found out he was in a metal band and called him a Satanist for it." I explained, "I think he wrote it out of spite."

The next song, "Day Of Reckoning", was a classic metal style song. Mid tempo, almost like an old Iron Maiden song, except it described a zombie apocalypse. It was Austin's baby. He wrote the lyrics and the music all by himself, and he was extremely proud of it. I remember it took Jax twenty tries to get the guitar solo at the end right, because it was so intricate and complex.

"Suicide" was the only song on the album that all of the band members had written together. It was a grand affair, and at eleven minutes long it was the longest song on the album. It had a doom metal tone to it, but I think it had a haunting beauty to it. It served as an outlet for all of us, something which we poured all of our negative feelings into. It was cathartic.

The cover of "My Demons" by Starset was an almost note for note cover of the original song, but it was still important to me and Jude. It had become our unofficial theme, and it had become probably the most "epic" song on the album in terms of production and sound.

"Flattened" was a song that Jeremy had written. It describes how a man reaps revenge on his significant other and the person he caught them cheating with. The music was reminiscent of Guns N' Roses' "Double Talkin' Jive".

"Empire of Dust", the final song on the album, was another slow doom metal song... mostly. The verses were sung slowly and cleanly by Jude, set to a slow trudging riff. When the chorus kicked in, the tempo quadrupled and I came in shouting at the top of my lungs. A high speed guitar solo from Jax followed every chorus, before fading back into the verse riff.

When the final song finished, we popped the CD out of the computer and put it back in the case. Jude leaned his head back on my shoulder and sighed in content.

"We did it." He said.

"Yeah. We did." I said.

"How long do you think it'll be before we get there?"

"Well listening to that killed an hour and twenty minutes, so... about seven more hours."

"Isn't there a bed in the back of the plane?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Want to cuddle up and take a nap?" He asked.

"Sounds like a plan."

Seven hours later we were interrupted from our peaceful slumber by the plane lurching. Jude startled awake and would have fallen out of the bed if I hadn't had a hold of him so tightly.

"Whazgoinon?" He mumbled only half awake.

"We're probably landin'." I mumbled.

We both got up and went up into the middle section of the plane. When the plane stopped moving, the pilot came back to meet us. When we disembarked from the jet, there was a small gold cart waiting to take us into the main building of the airport.

The man driving the golf cart was middle aged, with brown hair that streaked with grey. He looked exceedingly chipper and as soon as we approached him, our suitcases rolling along behind us, he shook our hands with vigor, a big smile on his face.

"Jude and Connor Adams Foster?" He asked us.

"Yeah, that's us." Jude answered.

"Excellent. My name is Maxwell, but you can call me Max." He said, "I have been told to escort the two of you to the Grand Hotel. I hope you two enjoy your stay."

He turned and gestured to our surroundings.

"Gentleman. Welcome to Mackinaw Island."


	39. Honeymoon Part 1

Connor's POV:

After we got checked in at the Hotel, Jude and I ventured down to downtown Mackinac Island in a horse drawn carriage, one of the only methods of transport allowed on the island.

"Maybe we should rent bikes." He commented, his head leaning on my shoulder, "I don't want to stare at a horse's ass every time we go somewhere."

I laughed and kissed the top of his head.

As we stepped out of the carriage, the first thing Jude did was drag me into a restaurant.

"Hungry are we?" I asked.

"Ravenous." He said, "And I don't want to eat at the Hotel. The restaurant there is ridiculously expensive. And I think it's shirt and tie only, and neither of us brought any formal wear. Besides, I'd rather pay ten bucks for a big ass burger and fries than thirty for some fancy piece of steak."

I nodded in agreement.

"What else do you want to do while we're down here?" I asked.

"I want to get some salt water taffy, and I want to try some of the fudge this place is so famous for."

"You've never had salt water taffy?" I asked, aghast.

Jude shook his head as we stepped up to the counter to order.

"That's tragic. You will love it, I promise." I said, "It's delicious."

"What'll it be?" The old lady at the register asked.

I surveyed the menu. It had a variety of dishes on it, ranging from classic American food to Mexican food.

"I'll have a quarter pound burger, hold the pickle and onions, with a side of fries." I said, "He'll have the taco platter, no tomatoes, with a bottle of ketchup on the side."

"Okay, that'll be $9.47." She said. I handed her a twenty dollar bill, the smallest bill I had in my wallet, and she accepted it, before glancing down at mine and Jude's intertwined hands, "You guys together?"

Jude and I shared a quick look.

"Yeah, we're here on our honeymoon." I answered.

"Great choice of destination." She said, "You guys make a cute couple. You remind me of my grandson and his boyfriend."

She started to hand me back my change, but I waved it off.

"Keep it. Consider it a tip." I said with a wink.

Jude and I moved off to the side to wait for our orders.

"Well, she was friendly." Jude said.

"You sound surprised." I said, "It's 2020. Nobody really cares anymore."

We fetched our orders and ate, playing footsie under the table while we did. After we finished, I immediately sought out a candy store, dragging Jude along like an over excited child.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his voice thick with laughter.

"Getting you some taffy and fudge." I said.

We went inside. There were so many flavors of taffy, that it left Jude gaping. I bought two huge bags of taffy, and the same amount of fudge. When we exited the shop, we were fifty dollars poorer, and Jude was staring at me as if I had completely taken leave of my sanity.

"I cannot believe you just spent that much on candy." He said.

"I've always wanted to do that." I said, laughing, "Spend a ton in a candy store. Yay for fulfilling childhood fantasies."

We walked around to a few of the shop, in which I bought a deck of playing cards for Jax's collection, as well as a small stuffed polar bear for my baby brother. Afterwards, Jude and I walked up and sat down in the grass in Marquette Park. I withdrew some fudge from its bag and handed it to Jude.

"Go ahead, you get first bite."

He removed the block of fudge from its packaging, broke off a small chunk of it and popped it into his mouth. His eyes widened.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God." He said.

"What?"

He shoved the rest of the block into his mouth.

I started laughing uproariously at my husband's adorableness.

"That is fucking delicious." He said, muffled by a mouthful of fudge.

I leaned over and kissed his fudge coated mouth.

He swallowed the fudge and returned the kiss. After we separated, we cracked open a bag of salt water taffy. Jude took a small orange and white one and started to unwrap it.

"What flavor is this one supposed to be?"

"Orange and white is orange sherbet I think." I said, taking a grape one for myself.

Jude popped into his mouth and chewed.

"Why don't we have this kind of shit in San Diego?" He exclaimed, "I swear there is no justice. We may have to move here. Permanently."

"We probably do have this in San Diego." I said, chewing my own piece, "You just have to look to find it. It probably wouldn't be as good either. And no. We aren't moving out here. We'd have to sell the cars."

"Good point." He said, reaching into the bag and grabbing three pieces of taffy, "Damn shame, but good point. I wonder if we can buy boxes of this stuff to bring back home."

"We have enough money for it." I commented jokingly.

Finally, after three hours of shopping and adventure, we returned to the room. We sat our purchases next to table, and threw the empty taffy bag in the garbage. The first thing we did was undress to our boxers.

"I cannot believe how beautiful it is here." Jude commented, staring out the window of our room in the Grand Hotel. It was called the Carleton Varney suite. It overlooked the Straits of Mackinac, and Jude was staring at the massive bridge that suspended across it.

I closed my freshly unpacked suitcase and joined him at the window, wrapping my arm around his waist and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Kind of reminds me of the Golden Gate in San Francisco." He commented, pointing out over the water at the Mackinac Bridge.

"Yeah, except it's white and green instead of orange." I said, "I'm glad my Uncle suggested this place. I don't think I could have picked a better place."

"It's so beautiful." He said, "I still can't believe there are no cars, though."

"Nope. It's been that way since the 1890's." I said, "Only transport is by bike, horse drawn carriage or walking. No pollution."

Jude looked at me curiously.

"How did you know that?" He asked.

"I do read, you know." I deadpanned jokingly.

"*Gasp*. You, Reading?! My heart can't take the shock." He joked.

So I did what I usually did when Jude got sassy.

I started tickling him.

Jude shrieked and leapt away.

"GAH! CONNOR!" He laughed.

"Aw, is the Judicorn still ticklish?" I purred mischievously, "I'll have to remember that."

"Don't even think about it, Connor Adams Foster."

Naturally, that's exactly what I did. So, I gave chase.

After ten minutes of wrestling around the room, laughing exuberantly at our sport, we ended up on the bed, Jude pinned below me, staring into each other's eyes. I leaned down and placed a kiss to his lips, which he returned with enthusiasm, our tongues dueling for dominance. Time faded away, as did our surroundings, as we became absorbed in each other.

I pulled away first, panting for breath. Jude's lips were puffy, and he was also breathless. His eyes drifted lower to my chest, and he reached his arms out to run them across my abdominal muscles. I caressed his cheek with my right hand

"I love you."

"I love you too." He said.

I place a soft kiss on his forehead and laid down next to him and pulled the covers of the bed over us. He snuggled up to me, laying his head on my chest, exhaling a content and happy sigh as he place a kiss on my chest.

"I never thought life could be so good." I admit, "I used to look at my future like it was a death sentence, but here, now, I've never been so happy in my life. I'm on my honeymoon, married to my best friend and boyfriend of seven years. I'm in a decent band that's releasing an album the day after tomorrow and already has a top 40 single. My whole family accepts me. Seven and a half years ago, a future like this was a wild pipe dream, and now it's a reality."

After a minute of happy silence, I looked at his face, and I could tell he was remembering something.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I said.

"Just remembering where this all started." He said.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Back in seventh grade, in the tent on the school camping trip." He said, "The night of our first kiss.

I sunk into the memory.

Flashback:

Jude and I were sitting on opposite sides of the tent, reading comic books. Every couple of seconds my gaze would flick up to survey my best friend as he sat on his sleeping bag, reading a copy of the newest issue of the Walking Dead.

It was the third day of the school camping trip, and I had insisted that Jude and I share a tent. Jude had warned me, multiple times on the bus on the way to the campgrounds, that it was a bad idea, but I was persistent and eventually he gave in. The first day of the camping trip, we swam or most of the day. The second day, we swam some more, and hiked for a while in the woods. The whole time, Jude acted a little distant with me.

It hurt. A lot. But it was nothing I didn't deserve. It seemed to me like the only thing I'd done since becoming friends with him was fucked stuff up.

"Jude?"

He didn't look up.

"Jude?" I said a little louder.

"What, Connor?" He said, sounding a little testy.

I sighed and got up from my spot and walked over to him, plopping down next to him.

"You're still mad at me aren't you?" I asked.

He sighed and finally raise his head from his comic and made eye contact with me.

"No. Not really." He said.

I slid closer, now sitting with our knees touching.

"I'm sorry, Jude." I said.

He looked at me, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"For what?"

"My dad. How he's been lately." I said bitterly, with a large sprinkling of anger, "You gotta know that if I could change anything, I would. I miss how things used to be. I missing coming over to play games, staying the night. But because my dad saw you pat me on the back at the batting cages, your automatically gay, and I can't hang out with you anymore. I don't care if you're gay, he shouldn't either."

"I don't really know what I am." Jude admitted with a sigh, "I've never thought about it before."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Foster care. Too busy surviving to think about it." He said.

"My dad has no right to try and label you anything." I said, starting to get furious.

"It's okay..." Jude started to say, but I interrupted him.

After months of keeping everything bottle up, and keeping everything inside, my long dormant temper, held at bay by an iron will and an extraordinary amount of patience, finally snapped

"THE HELL IT IS! I've missed you so much lately, and it's all his fault." I ranted, "If he wasn't such a homophobic jerk, none of this would be a problem. I shouldn't have to sneak around to spend time alone with my best fucking friend!"

"Connor!" Jude hissed, "Keep your voice down."

I ignored him.

"But no... that would be too easy, though." I continued ranting, my voice rising and tears starting to leak down my cheeks, "I can't have something GOOD in my life, no that's too much to ask! Can't hang out with my best friend, or spend the night at his house, because my father is a worthless piece of fucking SHIT AND HAS TO RUIN EVERYTHING!"

I couldn't contain the sobs any more, and Jude pulled me into a hug.

"I-I'm SORRY, J-Jude. I'm s-s-so fucking s-s-sorry." I sobbed.

"Shh. It's okay, Connor." He said, rubbing my back to comfort me, "I'm not mad at you. I know it's not your fault. It's okay."

I relaxed into the embrace. I felt warm, welcome, comfortable. At the same time, my heart dropped.

I had been questioning my sexuality since I caught myself checking another boy out in gym class a year previously. When Jude and I became friends, my first thought was that he was cute. I had tried desperately to push the thoughts away, because I knew that any possibility of acting on the feelings would end in disaster, again courtesy of my father.

I pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes, and looked into his eyes.

I stared into his eyes.

I never realized how hypnotizing his brown eyes were. They were the same shade as my favorite kind of chocolate.

I leaned in quickly and pressed my lips to his.

It only lasted for perhaps three seconds. But in those three seconds, every question I ever had about myself was answered.

It was all finally clear, and it was the scariest feeling I had ever felt in my entire life.

I didn't know if Jude was actually gay, but it was now ridiculously clear that I was.

I was gay.

I had a crush on my best friend.

I was kissing my best friend.

If my dad found out about this...

With that thought, I pulled away.

Jude stared at me, his eyes wide, his mouth agate. He was doing an impression of a goldfish, unable to form a coherent sentence.

He looked shocked, and in his eyes I could see a small amount of fear. It was barely noticeable, but it was still there.

My heart shattered.

"I-I'm s-sorry." I croaked, my tears renewed as I collapsed backwards onto his sleeping bag.

Jude snapped out of it and crawled up to lay next to me. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Never be sorry." He whispered to me.

No more words were said that night as I cried myself to sleep in my best friends arms.

The next morning, when I woke up, I returned to my own sleeping bag. When Jude woke up, I acted like nothing had ever happened. When Jude tried to bring it up, I told him that he had to keep it a secret and that my dad could never find out.

But something in the air between us had shifted. It had set us hurtling down a new path into an uncertain future, and at the time, I was terrified to find out what that future held. For the both of us.

End Flashback.

"That was the greatest night of my life." I said.

"Mine to." He said, "Everything that led us here, to this moment, was worth it."

We kissed again, and I felt Jude's hands start to venture south. I responded by doing the same. After five minutes we pulled apart, our hearts beating fast.

"Did you bring any condoms?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"No." He said.

"Damn it." I swore, "We should have got some when we were shopping."

"Do we really need them?" He asked, shocking me, "I mean, we know we're both clean, and we've only ever done it with each other, so is it really necessary?"

"Um. I guess not. Are you sure?" I asked.

He nodded, and leaned back in to recapture my lips with his.

"I'm sure. I need you." Jude said, sounding out of breath, "Now."

So my husband asked, so he would receive.

That night was the best night of my life.

Jude and I had had sex before, but this time was different. This time was our first as a married couple.

It was nothing less than magical.


	40. Honeymoon Part 2

Connor's POV:

The rest of the week flew by faster than we could have imagined it. Every day, after sleeping in until twelve thirty in the afternoon to sleep off the nights of intense physical activity, Jude and I spent the days exploring the island.

We tried to play golf at one of the courses, but neither of us could take each other seriously in the typical golfing outfits. To be honest, the only part of my outfit that didn't look absolutely hideous was the black beret. We both looked so ridiculous, that the game immediately degenerated into the two of falling over laughing while trying to play the game, while driving a golf cart at near supersonic speed between holes. I laughed when Jude got so frustrated at not hitting the ball, that he started ranting. He got so pissed that when he caught somebody looking at us as if we'd lost our sanity, Jude nearly flew at him, threatening to put the fear of god into him with, and I quote: the glorified tire iron you snobby bastards call a golf club.

I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I was literally on the ground laughing.

Needless to say, we were asked to leave soon after. Jude was relieved to be leaving the golf course, but he still used the golf cart to do gleeful donuts on the back nine while laughing uproariously while I stood nearby, again clutching my side at my husband's complete and total lack of sanity in his gleeful display.

We went to Fort Holmes, the highest point on the island. The view was extraordinary. You could see the whole of the Straits of Mackinac from up there, and we took many pictures and selfies, and kissed a bunch. We visited Fort Mackinac, all the while Jude listening patiently as I rattled off trivia that I had read in a fact book I had bought online prior to leaving San Diego. Again, we took lots of pictures on Jude's camera, and kissed a bunch more.

In fact we did that a lot. Kissing. When we visited Arch Rock, we had our guide take a picture of us kissing under it. At the Round Island Lighthouse, we took a selfie with the lighthouse in the background, and again our lips were locked. In Eagle Point Cave, which we had stumbled across quite by accident on a hike and decided to have our lunch there, we ended up kissing again, and then a whole lot more than that. We probably spent way too much time kissing, but neither of us can bring ourselves to fucking care.

Tonight, we swam in Lake Huron for hours on end. In the end, when we were both tired out, we finally dragged ourselves from the lake before curling up together on a blanket on the deserted stretch of beach to watch the sunset. We bantered, and I tickled him quite intensely after a particular jest that just screamed "shots fired" and begged for swift retaliation. And yes, we kissed. A lot. Again. You can probably sense a pattern here. In fact if you haven't, I would be worried about whether or not your IQ begins with a decimal point, because it's pretty obvious.

As Jude and I sat together on the beach, his arms wrapped around me and his head tucked into the crook of my neck, the hot summer sand drying us, we watched the sun slowly fall beyond the horizon, the sky turning from blue to orange, we held each other tightly, content just to stay in that moment forever. We both knew that tomorrow was the day we were going home, the day we would finally turn our cell phones back on after a week's absence. The day we returned to our lives in San Diego.

Jude placed a kiss on the side of my head before returning his head to its previous position.

"I don't want to go home tomorrow." He said.

"I don't either. But we have to." I said.

He made a whining noise, and I snorted in amusement.

"I bet you when we turn our phones back on, we'll have at least a hundred messages from everybody..." I joked.

"Oh, don't even joke." He moaned, "It'll take the whole flight back to sort through them all."

"... Plus tomorrow we find out if our album was a flop or not." I commented, "I'm kind of eager to find out how many copies have sold."

"It's only been five days," Jude said, "Probably not that many."

"Hey maybe if it does well enough we can buy a summer house up here?" I joked.

He giggled.

"Sounds like a plan dear."

I laughed.

"That sounds so weird coming from you." I laugh, "It'd be like me calling you honey."

"Or sweetie." He added with a giggle.

We lapsed into comfortable silence as we watched the sky darken as the sun fell below the distant horizon.

"We should probably head back to the hotel." Jude said, unwrapping himself from around me and holding out a hand for me to grab. I accepted the hand and pulled myself to my feet. We packed up our stuff and started the hike back to the Grand Hotel.

It took us an hour to complete the trek back to our hotel room. By the time we got inside and undressed, we were exhausted. Not so tired that we couldn't have sex, but still very tired. Even after that it was the earliest night we got to sleep the whole week, at just after 10:30 at night.

We awoke at just after 9:30 the next morning. After enjoying a shower together, we dressed and packed our bags. We were met at the steps of the hotel by Maxwell and his golf cart, ready to take us back to the airport where the plane waited for us to take us back to San Diego.

He almost had a heart attack when he saw we had three boxes filled with saltwater taffy, and two more filled solely with fudge.

We got a kick out of that.

Too soon, we were in the air, staring out of the windows at the island bellow us. An island that both Jude and I had grown to love in the cruelly short week we had spent there.

Jude and I shared a look about ten minutes into the flight.

"Ready?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I'll go first." He said.

Jude pulled out his cell phone and pressed the power button. After a few seconds, it booted up.

"Well, that's anticlimactic." He said.

He only had five missed text messages, and one missed call.

I pulled out my phone and did the same.

I only had three missed texts, two missed calls and one email.

"Huh. Not a bad as I expected." I said.

I flipped through my text messages. One was from my parents, telling me that they had picked up my car from the airport, but would be waiting for me at the airport when we got back, and to enjoy my honeymoon. The rest were from the band. One included a link to a website.

"They sent me a link to a review about the album." I said.

"They sent me the same one." Jude said, "This is it. This is the moment we find out if all that work was for nothing."

I opened the link.

"What does it say?"

I breathed deeply and began to read.

"When it was announced months ago that Metallica had signed an unknown San Diego metal band, comprised of six members, with a two gay couples, one on dual lead vocals and the other on guitar and bass, to their record label, many people were skeptical about this. We all knew that any band handpicked by Metallica would sell an assload of records without even trying. What kind of band would it be they asked. Based on the first two singles released by the band on their four song debut EP, both of which were relative hits, many of the most cynical people in the world o heavy metal thought as one, another band trying to resurrect the dying art of thrash metal, a genre where the only bands left that could play that kind of music were members of the old guard with only one or two exceptions. Bands like the Big 4, Testament, Overkill, Exodus, and Kreator. When I popped in Cold Embrace's debut album for the first time, it was just out of curiosity to see what Metallica's protégé band sounded like. I expected a carbon copy of the legendary thrash band, with a more amateurish sound and clumsier style of playing. I expected a band trying desperately to fit into the mold that it had forced itself into an identity crisis. But that is in no way what I got. What I got was a great fucking album."

"Finally," Jude interjected, "I was beginning to think the worst."

"What I got was a musically diverse album from a band that are comfortable in their own skin, playing high speed thrash one track, a ballad the next, a Slayer-esque song to follow, and a doom metal track after that. I see why this band caught old Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield's attention. They're just that fucking good. The opening track, a rerecorded version of the bands first single, Demon's Charm, was relentless in its savagery. The doom and gloom of the hauntingly beautiful Memories is enough to give me goose bumps. My hats off to you guys. Keep this up, and we'll be calling it the Big 5 of Thrash before the end of next year."

Jude and I sat in silence.

"It's kind of irritating that some people still think gay people can't play good metal music." Jude pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's still a good review." I said, "I wonder what James said in his email."

I opened up the email and handed it to Jude for him to read.

"It was sent yesterday." He said.

"Read it."

"Dear Jonnor..."

Here Jude paused and looked to me, as if waiting for something.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just usually you interrupt and rant about how much that relationship title irritates you." He said.

"It's grown on me." I said, "Keep reading."

"Dear Jonnor, Hope you are enjoying your honeymoon. Can't wait to see you guys when you get back. Oh, and advance warning, don't freak out about the fact that your bank accounts are considerably fuller than they were when you guys left. The projected sales for the album during its first four days was a bit off. The album sold..."

Jude paused, and his eyes widened.

"Holy dear mother of god." He exclaimed.

"What?" I asked, "How many?"

Jude gulped.

"Connor," He said, "The album s-sold fourty seven thousand copies in its first four days."

I stared at my husband, and my eye bulged out of their sockets as my jaw simultaneously decided to make acquaintance with the carpet.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked.

"No. I'm dead serious." He said, "Fourty seven thousand and counting. Connor... our album's going to debut in the top 10."

We stared at each other for a second, before launching out of our seats into each other's arms, squealing as loud as it was possible for two men to squeal. I peppered Jude's face with kisses.

"We did it! We FUCKING DID IT!" I cackled, "I can only imagine the kind of shit Castor, Jeremy, Austin and Jax are getting up to right now."

"Oh my god, they're probably going ape shit." Jude said through uproarious laughter.

The first thing we were gonna do when we landed was go home and drop off our bags, go find our band mates and celebrate.

But right now, in that moment, my husband and I stood, wrapped in each other's loving embrace, bathing happily in the light of our success.


	41. The Next Generation Begins

Connor's POV (December 10th, 2021):

The last year and six months has brought with it a lot of new things.

Our album's success brought with it a considerable amount of money. It debuted at number eight on the Billboard 200 charts, selling 55,000 in the first week of availability.

Our first tour was supposed to be us supporting Testament, but since our album had exploded, it was changed so that Testament was supporting us while we were given the headlining spot. The tour started on August 1st at a music festival in San Francisco, to a crowd of 15,000 people. It was quite a change, going from playing in clubs to playing a fucking stadium full of screaming fans, all chanting the band's name.

I don't think any of us were truly prepared for a concert tour of this size right off the back. It was originally supposed to be a short tour of California, with maybe ten or twelve dates. When the album was released and reached the top 10, twenty dates were added and the tour was expanded to a country wide tour. With every subsequent show, as we got used to it, it got easier. Now I see why bands love playing live. The energy of the crowds, the thrill of the show, was like the ultimate drug. We finished out the tour back where the band began in San Diego on New Year's Eve, playing to a sold out arena.

Jude and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary together on May 15th 2021 by doing something we had both wanted to do since we were kids. We went to Paris for the week. I don't know how I'm going to top a candle lit dinner and dancing at the top of the Eiffel Tower for our next anniversary.

When we got back we started the process to get our foster care licenses. We received our licenses on October 17th 2021. We got in contact with Jude's old social worker, Bill, and told him that we were looking to adopt whoever we fostered and that we were looking for an older boy, maybe ten to twelve years old. He told us that as soon as he had a possible match, he would get in contact with us.

We started work on our second album the following day. We decided to take our time with the album, which we could definitely afford to do.

On Jude's twenty first birthday, I had snuck off while he was at the studio laying down vocal tracks with Castor to take delivery of his present. When Jude got home that day, his present was lounging lazily on the couch, staring at me with wide brown eyes, licking its lips every few seconds. It had soft black hair, with a tuft of white on its chin. It yawned at me, and cocked its tiny little head, as if to ask why I wasn't petting it. Every few seconds its puffy little tail would wag a little bit.

I had gotten Jude a puppy. I went to a breeder and picked this one out. Or rather, he picked me out. As soon as I walked in the door of the breeders house, he pranced up to me and started hopping up and down, as if to say "pick me, pick me!", and I knew he was the one. He's a teacup poodle, Jude's favorite kind of dog. I used to tease Jude about how stereotypical that was, but I couldn't disagree about how cute the little guy was.

Jude reacted by nearly strangling me in a bear hug, before scooping the tiny dog into his arms, where the dog tucked its head underneath Jude's chin.

A day later, that dog had fallen absolutely in love with him, and was following him around everywhere. I made the joke that the dog followed him around like his own personal minion of darkness.

So off course, Jude named him Minion. Mini for short.

Anyway, to the present.

Today, we take an important step as a couple.

It finally happened. Today we await the arrival of our foster son.

We had received the call a few days previously from Bill, the same social worker that was responsible for Jude's placement with the Fosters. Jude and I had just been sitting down to dinner when we received the call.

Jude had just sat down at the table when his cell phone started ringing. This immediately caused Minion to start barking, because the ringing startled him. Jude shushed the dog and looked at the caller ID. His eyes widened.

"Oh my god. It's Bill." He said, answering the phone and putting it on speaker phone, "Hey Bill."

"Sup Bill!" I said.

"Hello you two. I didn't catch you at a bad time did I?" He asked.

"No, why?" I asked.

"We might have something." Bill said, "We may have a match for you guys. I need to know if you can meet with me tomorrow to discuss it."

"Yeah, tomorrow's perfect." I said, "Drop by around noon. We'll be here."

When Jude hung up the phone we shared a look of excitement.

The next day, Bill arrived at exactly noon.

"You said you find a potential match?" I asked as we ushered him into the kitchen.

"His name is Walter Daniels. Everybody calls him Wally for short." Bill started, producing a file from his briefcase and handing it to Jude, "He's had a really hard life."

"How old is he?" Jude asked.

"He's ten." Bill answered, "He was born October 3rd 2011. He entered the system on January 5th 2015. His mother died in child birth, and in his grief the father turned to drugs and alcohol. He ended up getting shot by a drug dealer he was trying to buy cocaine from. To date, he's been in six different foster homes, three of them with less than stellar results."

"How bad?" Jude said.

"The first two were alright." Bill said, "He was moved from the first one because the couple couldn't afford to keep him anymore, and he was moved from the second one because the couple had to move out of state. In the third home, the foster mother beat him after she caught him playing dress up with her daughters. The foster father reported it and she was arrested the next day. He was moved to another home, which turned out to be bad as well. The foster father was neglectful, and didn't care for him properly. The teachers at his school noticed that he looked malnourished and reported it and he was removed. His fifth foster home was decent. They were going to adopt him, but their house burnt down and the adoption fell through. His last foster home was probably the most deplorable I've seen in a long time. He's been in the hospital for the past two weeks. The foster mother was alright, but the foster father treated Walter badly. Smacked him around a lot, but that isn't even the worst of it."

"What else happened?" Jude asked, gripping his drinking glass tightly.

"He tried to molest him and sprained his ankle when he resisted..." Bill revealed sadly.

The glass shattered in Jude's hand.

"Sorry." Jude said, a thunderstruck look on his face as he moved to clean up the glass fragments.

"It's understandable." Bill assured him, "After what happened to you and Callie."

"Yeah." Jude said, "Anyway, who found out about it?"

"The foster mother walked in on it and called the police. The foster father was arrested." Bill continued, "Walter was removed and taken to the hospital, where he's been for the past two weeks. We received word yesterday that the foster father was found stabbed to death in his prison cell. Apparently word got out about what he tried to do."

"Good. The bastard deserved it." Jude said, "People who hurt children never last long in prison."

"You guys are the first people I thought of when I was assigned to be his social worker after his old one retired. Are you guys willing to take him in?" Bill asked hopefully.

"Of course. He's perfect. He's exactly what we want." Jude said immediately, "When is he being released from the hospital?"

"They expect to release him in four days." Bill answered, "That should give you enough time to get ready for it."

He stayed for another half hour discussing stuff, telling us a little about Walter's personality, all of his allergies, some of his interest. He showed us a picture of Walter, and Jude and I both knew that he was the one. We signed all the papers that needed to be signed and Bill took his leave. We spent the next few days preparing the spare bedroom for his arrival.

Now the day had finally arrived.

We heard a knock on the door.

I turned to Jude.

"This is it." He said.

"Yeah. Nervous?" I asked.

"Terrified." He admitted, "But excited."

I went and answered the door, ushering Bill inside. He was followed closely by a small, rail thin boy clutching a small backpack, and simultaneously Jude and my hearts melted. He was adorable. The boy was about four foot ten inches tall, and his clothes were at least two sizes too big. He had a mop of wild, curly naturally black hair, and the bluest eyes I have ever seen, which widened upon seeing us. He looked scared, and extremely nervous, and his eyes were flying all around the room, looking for an exit if he needed it. Bill ushered him forward, and Mini immediately rushed forward haughtily to inspect the new arrival. The boy smiled softly at the tiny dog as Mini began to sniff him enthusiastically, and reached out and scratched the top of the dogs head.

"Hi there." Jude said to him, kneeling down in front of him, "I'm Jude. This is my husband Connor."

"The little ball of fluff sniffing your pant leg is Minion." I commented.

Minion barked at the sound of his name.

He looked between us, eyeing us timidly.

"M-my n-name's Wally." He said quietly, barely louder than a whisper.

"Nice to meet you, Wally." I said, "We're happy you're here."

"R-really?" He asked timidly.

"Really." We assured him.

"You be good for them Wally, okay?" Bill said to him.

Wally nodded nervously.

"I'll call to check in on him in a couple of days." Bill told us, "I've gotta run, I've got a home visit at 1:00."

"Thanks Bill." Jude and I said.

After he left, we turned to Wally. He looked scared.

"You hungry?" Jude asked.

"A little." Wally answered.

"Let's show you to your room, and then we'll get you something to eat, okay?"

Wally nodded shyly and followed us to his bedroom door with a noticeable limp.

"This'll be your room." Jude said, opening the door.

Wally stared at the room with his eyes widened to the size of saucers.

Jude and I had gone all out in furnishing the room. We decided that since we were gonna be adopting Wally, we were gonna spoil him rotten. Up against the wall was a desk, with a computer sitting on top of it. Attached to the wall was a plasma screen television, with my old XBOX One hooked up to it.

"I get my own TV?" He asked excitedly as he bounced into the room, "And a computer? This is SO cool!"

"Glad you like it, kiddo." I said, smiling at his enthusiasm, "There's still a few things left to get, but we wanted to let you pick out a few things for yourself. We'll go shopping later if you want to."

Wally sat his backpack down in the desk chair, and then plopped down on the bed, bounced twice, and stood back up.

"C-can I show you guys something?" Wally asked.

"Of course." I said.

He limped across the room to where his backpack sat on the desk chair, and pulled something out and held it out to me.

I was surprised to see him clutching a copy of our album.

It was signed by all the band members too.

Jude and I smiled in surprise.

"I was at the first show." He said, "August 1st of last year in San Francisco. My foster dad took me. He had backstage passes. The whole band signed it for me. I did have pictures, but they got lost in the fire that destroyed the house."

He looked down sadly.

"Your music helped me through that." He continued, "Whenever I would get really sad or scared in the last foster home, I would listen to this CD. The music helped calm me down. It made everything seem... it made everything seem okay, you know?"

He moved to stand by the window.

"When I heard that you guys wanted to take me in, I thought I was dreaming." He said.

"Why's that?" Jude asked.

"They told me you were looking to adopt me. It seemed too good to be true." Wally said sadly.

"I know how that feels. The suspicion. You know, I was a foster kid once too." Jude told him sympathetically. He looked up at him in shock.

"Really?" He asked timidly. I nodded.

"Yeah. It ain't fun." Jude said, "You and I have a lot in common. Bill said you've been in six different homes?"

Wally nodded.

"A lot of them were really mean." He said.

I slowly reached out and took his little hand into mine, caressing the back of it with my thumb.

"My older sister Callie I had been in seven foster homes, and more often than not, they were horrible." Jude said, "We went into the system when I was six, stayed there until I was adopted by my family when I was thirteen. It took Callie almost a whole year more to be adopted because of certain circumstances, but everything worked out eventually. It always does."

"I hope so." Wally said.

"This'll be the final home for you. I promise." Jude said, "I know you've had a rough life, but that's over now. You're safe here. We'll always protect you. We'll never hurt you."

"They all started out nice." He said sadly, "But it never lasted. They either turned mean or I was moved."

"That'll never happen with us." I assured him, "This is a place where you can be safe. We will defend you till our dying breaths, with everything we have. We will never send you away, no what you do."

"P-promise?"

His hopeful tone broke my heart. It was the sound of a child who had been through far too much in his short life. I looked at him, and for a second it was like I was seeing Jude on that day at Anchor Beach all those years ago.

"Come here, buddy." I said softly, motioning to him.

He slowly moved to stand in front of us. I kneeled in front of him again, Jude joining me this time.

"We promise." I said, tears threatening to fall, "When we first saw your picture, we knew you were the one. You've only been here for ten minutes, and we already adore you. You deserve a loving home. And in this house, that's the one thing we will never run out of. There'll always be plenty of love to go around."

Slowly, ever so slowly, Jude and I pulled Wally into a hug. I felt him stiffen, but after a minute, he relaxed and sunk into the embrace.

"Your ours now, kiddo." Jude said, "You never have to worry about anything again. If it's what you want, you'll be our son."

"Are you sure?" He whimpered.

"We've never been more sure about anything in our lives, Wally." I said, placing a kiss to the side of his head, "As soon as we possibly can, we're gonna adopt you. And nothing is gonna stop us, we promise."

Overwhelmed with everything, Wally began to cry. He clung to Jude and I as though he thought we would disappear as soon as he released us.

"It's okay, buddy." Jude said soothingly, rubbing circles in his back, "Let it out."

"Th-thank y-you." He whimpered, "Th-thank you, s-so much."

"You never have to thank us." Jude said.

"I t-t-think I'm g-gonna l-love it here." Wally sniffled, still clinging to us.

Him saying that is what set the tears flowing for Jude and I.

I could not believe I could grow to love a human being so much in such a short amount of time. I didn't need a piece of paper for Wally to be my son. As far as Jude and I were concerned, he was our son the moment he crossed the threshold of our house. This child was ours now, and we would defend him with everything that we had. Any and all who tried to hurt him would suffer our wrath.

I placed another kiss to the side of my new son's head.

At that moment, I had everything I had ever wanted.

I finally had a family of my own.


	42. Surprise

Connor's POV (May 10th 2022):

Wally had been with us for five months now, and we had had a long day with the family. Wally had finally decided he was ready to be introduced Wally to the rest of our family.

Wally is finally starting to come out of his shell. In the five months he has been with us, he has become a lot more comfortable with us. It took him about a week for us to get him to laugh. After that, we noticed that he got a lot more physically affectionate with us. Always wanting a hug, or cuddling with us on the couch watching movies. He hugged Jude and I for almost a whole minute when we dropped him off for his first day of school at Anchor Beach.

We've learned a lot more about his personality and his interests.

We learned that he had an iron will on his temper, and very rarely lost his temper. The first time he lost his temper in front of us took us completely by surprise. Some homophobe made a nasty comment while we were at the groceries store. Wally grabbed a glass mug and chucked it at the guys head and started screaming. He would have leapt on the guy if Jude and I hadn't had a hold of him.

He was timid around new people, and didn't trust easily, hence why it took so long for him to be ready to meet the rest of the family. The family members he seemed to like the most, besides Stef and Lena, were Mariana, Jesus and his boyfriend Cody. He found Jesus to be hilarious, and enjoyed watching the couple bicker. He enjoyed Mariana's fashion sense and general bubbly attitude.

He was eager to please Jude and I, and was quick to panic if he did something wrong, because he was terrified of doing something wrong and getting sent away. We quickly assured him that that would never happen, and he was starting to believe us.

He liked rock and metal. A lot. He absolutely refused to listen to anything else. He hero worshiped the other members of our band and nearly fainted when we introduced him to Jax, Jeremy, Austin, Castor, and James and Lars for the first time.

Wally had timidly asked if he could come along with us to the studio and watch us record stuff for the next album, and James and Lars were there when we got there. I had never seen somebody's eyes go as wide as Wally's did upon seeing James and Lars. He could not speak a single coherent sentence. When James shook his hand, Wally stared at his hand afterwards in awe.

He loved to play basketball, which prompted us to purchase a basketball hoop and hang it from the garage so we could play in the driveway.

He liked to skateboard, but he wasn't the most skilled at it. He practiced a lot.

We also learned all of his little quirks.

He stuttered sometimes, but it was only prominent when he was nervous or upset.

He loves slushies from Speedway, and he always has two straws.

He could NOT listen to music in the car without singing along. He's actually a good singer. It's interesting to listen to a kid singing along to Metallica and Megadeth tunes.

He falls asleep in the weirdest positions, and can fall asleep listening to heavy metal, as Jude and I found out on his fourth night with us. We went into his room to check on him before we went to bed, and discovered him laying diagonally on his bed with his head hanging over the side, fast asleep with headphones in his ears, with the iPod we had bought him blaring "Hangar 18" by Megadeth, with Minion laying at the foot of his bed. We moved him to a more comfortable position and then went to bed.

If he trusted you, and was in a happy mood, he would jabber on and on about everything. On his third day of school, when Jude and I picked him up from school, he rambled the whole way home about this friend he had made, a boy named Timmy, who Wally had met the first day of school. Timmy had given Wally a tour of the school, and helped him to his classes since they shared an identical schedule.

The parallels with Jude and I's first meeting at Anchor Beach were something that we both found amusing.

When he asked us if Timmy could come over and spend the night for the first time, he was so nervous that he looked like he was going to pass out. When Timmy arrived, Wally ran out onto the driveway to meet him, telling us to wait inside. Two minutes later, the front door slammed open and Timmy ran into the room, with Wally on his back, laughing like crazy. We discovered that he was a very lanky, bubbly red headed boy with boundless amounts of energy, who was almost one whole foot taller than Wally.

The two boys acted like they had known each other their whole lives. They acted like brothers. Timmy was very affectionate, and it was clear as they bickered about music that he adored his younger friend.

Anyway, back to the quirks.

Wally had also started picking up a few of mine and Jude's quirks.

He rolled his jaw when he was nervous or unsure or when his emotions ran high, like I did, and he puts WAY too much syrup on his pancakes like Jude does. He also started to pick up Jude's sassiness.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand. It was the middle of the night, and Jude and I were asleep.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and give it a small shake.

I jerked awake.

Wally was standing at my side of the bed, and tears were leaking from his eyes. I was awake immediately.

"You okay bubby?" I asked him, concerned.

"I-I had a bad d-dream." He whimpered.

"What was it about?" I asked quietly.

"S-same as u-usual." He muttered.

I sighed and motioned for him to crawl in bed between Jude and I. Wally had a recurring nightmare about his previous foster home. The first couple of times he had it, he didn't tell us. But the third time, the dream changed slightly, and he woke up screaming. He told us tearfully, that he kept dreaming about the night he was removed from the home, when his foster father tried to molest him and that in the dream his foster mother hadn't got their in time to stop it.

Jude jerked awake at feeling Wally crawling beneath us and cuddling up to him. He shot me a questioning look.

"The dream again." I mouthed to him. His eyes saddened in understanding.

We comforted him until he fell asleep, still cuddled close to us, and we fell back asleep too.

We all awoke five and a half hours later, and trudged into the kitchen to have breakfast.

Wally was taking advantage of his new cell phone, and was texting Timmy.

"Hey, Connor, I never did ask..." Jude said, "Did you hear back from your uncle yet?"

I knew immediately what he was talking about. My Uncle Evan, ever our savior, had been trying to get Wally's adoption fast tracked. Yesterday, he had called with news concerning it. Jude and I both knew, but he was bringing it up so we could tell Wally.

"Oh, yeah." I said, "It's set. We go in today. Everybody'll be there waiting for us."

"What's today?" Wally asked, picking up his glass of milk to take a drink.

"Your adoption." Jude said nonchalantly.

Wally's reaction was immediate, and I had just enough time to lunge to the side as his eyes widened and he spat his mouthful of milk across the room. Jude started laughing as I went to clean up the mess.

"Are you guys serious?" Wally asked excitedly.

"You can thank my Uncle for that, little man." I said, "He always pulls through for me."

"OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!" He screeched and flew at us, wrapping us both in a tight hug, bouncing up in down in ecstatic excitement.

"I gotta call Timmy and tell him!" He exclaimed. He rushed up to us and hugged us both before he bolted towards the doorway.

"Don't be on the phone for too long!" Jude and I hollered after him.

"I KNOW DADS!" Wally hollered from across the house.

Jude and I chuckled, and went back to our breakfast.

We realized at the same instant, what Wally had just said.

I dropped my fork.

Jude and I shared a look.

"Did he just...?" Jude started to ask.

"Yeah, he did." I said, shocked, "He called us dads."

Jude got out of his chair and hugged me tight. He gave me a kiss on the forehead as a tear fell down my cheek.

"I never thought I'd ever get to hear somebody call me that." I said, releasing a teary chuckle.

"Hey dads? Can Timmy come over today?"

We turned around to see Wally standing in the doorway, staring at us worriedly.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, bubby. We're fine." Jude said.

"Then why are crying?" Wally asked, now looking like he was going to cry as well, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, baby, you did nothing wrong." I assured him, "I'm just emotional is all."

"Is it because I called you two dad?" He asked hurriedly, "Because I didn't mean to make you cry..."

"It's fine Wally." I said, "I'm just really happy that you think of us as your dads."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Sometimes people cry when they're happy." I said, "And right now, I can safely say I've never been happier."

Wally approached us slowly, and wrapped his arms around us. We pulled him into a hug and both place a kiss atop his mop of black hair.

When he pulled away, we grinned at him.

"I'm really lucky to have you two as my Dads." He said, "Can Timmy come to the courthouse with us?"

"Of course he can." Jude said.

Wally quickly flashed off a text to Timmy before turning back to us.

"What should I wear?"

Jude and I chuckled and we followed Wally to his closet.

After spending two hours trying on every single outfit he had, he finally settle on a simple maroon button up, black blazer, black pants, and his dress shoes. He spun around once before posing for us.

"How do I look?" He asked happily.

"Great, now come on." I said with a laugh, "Text Timmy and tell him we'll be there to get him soon."

He did just that, and rushed out to the car before Jude and I could say another word. We shared a look and a laugh before following our soon to be son out to the Aston Martin. Ten minutes later, we pulled up outside Timmy's house to find him standing outside waiting for us. The first thing he did when he got in the car was hug Wally and then they started babbling about something.

Their conversation lasted until we pulled up outside of the courthouse.

It was the same courthouse where Jude's adoption took place.

We all got out of the car and walked inside. Not even two minutes later, we were approached by a court official and led to the courtroom. Wally was bouncing on the balls of his feet as we were ushered into the courtroom. Everybody was already waiting inside. The whole family was in attendance.

"Okay." The judge said, "Mr. and Mr. Adams Foster. Are you willing to raise this child as your lawful child?"

"Yes." Jude said.

"Yes we are." I said, putting my arm around Wally where he stood between us.

"This child will inherit from you. He will be treated no differently than a biological child. Do you agree?"

"Yes." We answered in unison.

The judge nodded and smiled at the three of us softly, before speaking directly to Wally.

"I know you've had a long road to get to today, little one." The judge said, "You've been through terrible things, hardships that would break even the strongest of us adults. But rest assured that that long road has finally come to an end. Everything seems to be in order, so I am ecstatic to sign off on this adoption."

Wally started crying softly as we watched the Judge sign the final papers.

"Congratulations, Jude and Connor." The judge said, "And to you as well, Walter Daniels Adams Foster."

The whole courtroom erupted into cheers as Jude and I pulled a now sobbing Wally into our arms. It wasn't long before we started crying too. The three of us just stood there, unaware of the various cameras flashing around us. All that mattered was me, Jude, and our son.

Our son.


	43. Confusion and Clarity

Wally's POV (October 9th 2025):

It's been three years since Dads adopted me and not as much has changed as I thought it would.

Their band has released two more albums since then. Neither were as successful as the first one, but they were still hits. So, I guess it's kind of pointless to compare them to the first album. The second album, entitled "War Paint", debuted at #14 on the Billboard 200, with 46,000 copies sold in it's first week. The third was a concept album, called "Death Strider". It hit #12, selling 53,000 in it's first week.

Both albums got good reviews, although some critics criticized the concept for the third album.

I've actually got a writing credit of my own on the newest one on a song called "Nuclear Fire". I'm proud of that. Dads took me on tour with them for both tours. The tours were longer, more drawn out than the first tour they did. Since they had me to worry about now, they played their shows on the weekends, and we all flew home to San Diego for the rest of the week so I didn't miss school. As a result, each tour lasted a whole year and a half. It never got old either, standing in the wings on stage watching my Dads perform all of the songs that helped me get through the hardest period of my life to crowds full of screaming fans. I got to travel all over the world too, which was a bonus. My favorite place we've visited was Tokyo when they played the famous Budoken Arena.

Only one more thing real happened that was noteworthy, and that was a wedding.

Uncle Jesus and Uncle Cody, the last of my uncles still remaining unmarried, finally got married, and according to Dad, it was the most unromantic proposal in the history of the world, since Uncle Jesus doesn't have a single romantic bone in his body. Apparently, Uncle Cody asked him if they would ever get married, and he just pulled the ring box out of his pocket and handed it to him, asking him on the spot. It may seem careless, but that's just the way Uncle Jesus is. Neither of them wanted a big fancy wedding, so they just got married at the courthouse with the family and their friends in attendance.

But back to the present...

... And at the present I am the most irritated human being currently drawing breath on planet Earth...

... Because Tim has been avoiding me for almost a whole week now.

And worse, Dads have now noticed that Tim is avoiding me.

After what happened at my 14th Birthday party last week, I haven't spoken to my best friend once. Every time I see him at school, he turns around and walks in the opposite direction with a devastated expression on his face. Every time he avoids me, I feel the same mixture of sadness, irritation, and anger.

Let me start of by saying that it's not a secret that Tim is gay like both of my dads are. It never has been. When he came out last year, he practically bounced out of the closet with orchestral accompaniment and a friggin fireworks display. He's not exactly the most subtle person in the world. I've known him for over three years, I think I know him pretty well.

But on my birthday, at my party, something happened, and now he's avoiding me like I have the plague.

Today, finally, Dads managed to corner me after school. I had been avoiding this conversation since that day, but it seemed that my luck had finally run out.

"Just tell us what happened Wally." Dad asked, "You've been miserable all week. Something must had happened.

"It's complicated, okay?" I ground out.

Dad gave me a look.

"Try again."

I sighed.

"he kissed me." I mumbled.

"Sorry, didn't catch that." Daddy said.

"HE KISSED ME, ALRIGHT!" I snapped, "HE KISSED ME, STOMPED OFF, AND NOW HE WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME!"

I hadn't seen my Dads look so flabbergasted in years.

Daddy's eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open a little.

Dad reached up to massage his temples, while his eyebrows rose to nearly disappear into his bangs.

"Oh dear." He said.

"Yeah. Oh dear is right." I said irritably, "I'm not even mad about it! I just want my best friend to talk to me."

"What did you do after he kissed you?" Daddy asked.

"Nothing, I was too shocked." I exclaimed, "I just stared at him, my mouth agate, and he stomped off crying before I could even say anything. I chased after him and tried to talk to him, but he was gone before I could catch up to him."

"He probably thinks you're mad at him for it, buddy." Dad said.

"But I'm not!" I said, "Or... at least I don't think I am."

"What do you mean?" Dad asked.

"I'm just... I'm confused." I admitted.

"About what?" Dad asked.

"Why didn't he just tell me he liked me?" I asked, "I mean, it's not like I would have reacted badly."

"He doesn't know that though. Plus, you're his best friend." Dad pointed out, "It's a lot more complicated than that. Trust me, I know that from experience. It took me getting shot for Daddy and I to get together, and you and Tim are already even closer than we were when we were just friends."

"Okay. Wait a second... did you just say that you got shot?" I asked, stunned at this piece of information.

"It was in the foot." Dad said, shrugging it off, "It wasn't serious. I walked around on crutches for a while and then I was fine. It's a really long story that I don't really want to repeat. Ask your Aunt Daria or you Aunt Taylor, they know the whole story."

"Okay. I will." I said, "Anyway, It's not like I'm mad at him or anything. So what if he likes me? It's not that bad of a thing."

"I know we've never really talked about this." Dad said, "We always left you to figure things like this out for yourself unless you asked for our help. But... do you like him back?"

"I... I don't know." I said truthfully, "I've never thought about my sexuality. And the kiss was too quick to be able to base anything off of it."

It's true, I really hadn't. I hadn't had the need to yet. I was in a good place in my life. After a hellish childhood of hopping between foster homes, I finally had a family that loved me. I had two adoring fathers, and a vast collection of various aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. I had everything I could have ever asked for. The topic of my own sexuality never came up once.

"Well, whatever you decide, we're with you all the way. You know that right?" Dad asked me.

I nodded, offering them both a grateful smile.

"I know Dad." I said, giving them both a hug and a kiss.

That night laying in bed, I thought about it a lot. What am I? Am I straight? Am I gay? Am I bisexual? I don't know. I mean, since I started puberty, I've noticed girls, but I've noticed a few boys too. Not many, but there have been a small few. But it's different, because I'm not attracted to them because of what gender they are. It's personality that catches my eye. I think my Uncle Jesus is like that. He called it being Pansexual. I think. Yeah, that's it.

And one thing Tim did have was a good personality.

I thought about it the whole weekend, and when I arrived at Anchor Beach on Monday morning the first thing I did was search for Tim. I checked the room where we had our first class of the day, and he wasn't there. He wasn't in any of the bathrooms either. I eventually found him heading towards the cafeteria for breakfast. I sped up my pace to catch up with him. He wasn't getting away from me this time.

"TIM!" I shouted.

He immediately did an about face and started walking the other way. Having had enough of this, I ran after him. I stepped in front of him, grinding his progress to a halt with a single angry glare

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!" I shouted, and reached out and grabbed his arm, "We need to have a fucking talk, and this time, you're NOT getting out of it."

I dragged him to the principal's office. Grandma Lena noticed us come in and rose to meet us.

"Something wrong boys?" She asked.

"We need to use your office." I said.

She nodded and I dragged Tim into the office and shut the door behind me. I turned back to Tim, who was staring at me as if I was about to kill him.

"Oh calm down, I'm not going to fuckin' hurt you." I shot at him.

"Really?" He sassed back, "Because you look like you'd like nothing more than to reach down my throat and pull out by kidneys with a rusty fork."

"Oh shut up! What the fuck is your problem, Tim?" I ranted, "First you kiss me, then you run away, then you avoid me like I've got the fucking plague!"

"I figured you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore." He shot back sadly, "So I just figured..."

"You're my best friend, you dumbass." I cut him off furiously, "It would take a lot more than a fucking kiss to scare me away. You know me better than anybody but my dads, you should know that!"

"So, you're not mad at me?" He asked hopefully.

The tone of his voice made my anger evaporate in an instant.

I sighed.

"About the kiss? Of course I'm fucking not." I said exasperatedly, "About avoiding me like an idiot? A little bit."

"Sorry." He said meekly.

We both stood there, the silence in the room weighing a ton until I decided to break the silence.

"Why did you do it? Kiss me, I mean." I asked.

"Why do you think?" He mumbled sadly.

"You like me." I stated.

"Obviously." He mumbled back.

"Why did you never tell me?" I asked.

He looked at me as I had grown a third head.

"You're my best friend, Walter." He deadpanned, "And I've got a monstrous unrequited crush on you. Might make things a bit awkward."

I thought about what he just said.

Unrequited crush, he said.

But was the crush unrequited, I asked myself.

I know I'm not straight. Like I started to realize last night, I'm like my Uncle Jesus. I'm attracted to a person's personality. I don't give a damn what gender they are.

And then there is Tim.

He was my first real friend.

He was the one person in the world I trusted more than Dads.

We've always been really affectionate with each other.

Whenever I'm with him, I feel lighter. I feel happier.

His personality was the perfect contrast and compliment to mine.

It was a big plus that he was relatively good looking.

I think I had my answer.

"What if it isn't?" I interjected.

"What are talking about?" He asked irritably.

"You said the crush was unrequited." I explained, "What if it isn't?"

His eyes widened as he stared at me.

"What did you just say?"

"What if the feeling is mutual?" I asked.

"Wally, you're straight!"

"No, I'm Pansexual like my Uncle Jesus." I corrected, "Definitely not straight."

He stared at me, looking for some kind of sign that I was lying.

"You... you're being serious?" He asked.

"Of course I am." I said.

He stared at me for a few more seconds, before taking a few steps forward until he was standing right in front of me.

"I'm sorry I avoided you." He mumbled.

"It's okay. Just don't do it again."

"So... where does this leave us?" He asked.

"To be honest? This all new to me." I answered, "I mean, let's just let things play out."

"Okay. Well... we could go out sometime." He suggested, "We'll go on a couple of dates, and if we decide that this could work... then we'll so where it goes. That sound okay to you?"

I thought about it for a couple of seconds before nodding.

"I'm okay with that." I responded.

I pulled him into a hug, and he rested his head on my shoulder. After a few seconds, he pulled away from the hug. He stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes flickering between my eyes and lips. He started to lean in again, pausing to make eye contact and give me a chance to pull away.

I didn't pull away, and nodded my permission.

As I felt his lips softly touch mine for second time, it was like an electric shock running through my body.

I couldn't help but think I could get used to that feeling.


	44. Wally's Song

Connor's POV:

Wally sat in front of us, looking nervous. He had called a meeting with Jude, me, Jax, Austin, Castor, and Jeremy, because he wanted to discuss something with us.

"Why do you look like you're about to pass out?" Jeremy asked, "You don't have to be so nervous, buddy."

"You guys remember the song Nuclear Fire?" Wally asked, "How the lyrics were mine?"

"Yeah, of course we do. We play it at every show." Castor said.

Wally pulled out a small stack of papers and sat them on the table. It took only a few seconds for us to notice that it was sheet music.

"I uh, have been working on this for a while." Wally said, "Since I got adopted. It's taken a long time, I had to learn to play the instruments, but I've almost finished it. Tim helped me with the music. I just need a couple of solos, and I was wondering if you guys would, maybe, help me record it? Uncle Jax, you could write your own solos, you're better at it then I am."

"I'm down." Jax said.

Everybody else nodded.

"I want to sing it though." Wally said, "If that's okay?"

"That's fine, kiddo." I said.

Two weeks later, all the instrumental parts had been recorded, and it was time for Wally to record the vocals. We had called James and had him come down from San Francisco to help us with it. Wally sat inside the sound booth in front of the microphone, looking nervous but eager at the same time.

"What's the title again, Wally?" James asked.

"Broken Child." He responded.

Jude and I shared a look. James looked taken aback.

"Um. Alright, Broken Child, vocals, take one." James said.

Wally took a deep breath as the music started playing through the headphones. When it got to the point in the music where he was supposed to start singing, he started shouting the first verse into the microphone.

"The child is broken,  
He's given up hoping  
For a home  
Where a beating doesn't follow.

The child is broken.  
The bruises are a token  
Of parents dissatisfaction.  
He's emotionless and hollow.

In misery he wallows,  
As his pained cries he swallows,  
Avoiding excess pain  
The rules he sadly follows."

A solo followed, and Wally subconsciously recognized it as one of Jax's solos. It was fast, and complex. When the tempo slowed down, Wally sang the chorus.

"Can you hear me screaming,  
Begging you for help?  
I can't handle all of this  
By my lonesome self.

Alone, he's slowly dying,  
Locked away and crying.  
God show mercy please?  
Show mercy on this broken child."

The music immediately sped up to sonic speed again and Wally shouted the second verse.

"The fires of parents wrath  
Rising and smoking.  
Smothered is the child.  
Hear him choking.

Fighting for his life  
Against the evil man and wife.  
They've the souls of a demon,  
They love to hear him screamin'.

Unless the abuse is uncovered,  
And he's finally taken away.  
He wonders and he wonders,  
Will he live to see another day?"

Again a solo followed before the music slowed down, and Wally repeated the chorus.

"Can you hear me screaming,  
Begging you for help?  
I can't handle all of this  
By my lonesome self.

Alone, he's slowly dying,  
Locked away and crying.  
God show mercy please?  
Show mercy on this broken child."

The music sped up again, and instead of shouting, Wally started screaming the words into the microphone.

"The broken child,  
His will as broken as the body,  
He gave into temptation,  
And gained his liberation.

Swinging from a noose,  
His soul was set loose.  
The pain he held inside,  
Destroyed by suicide.

Rain pours down  
And soaks the grave,  
Of the child  
They failed to save."

The music slowed down again, and Wally growled the final chorus into the microphone.

"Could you hear him screaming,  
Begging you for help?  
He couldn't handle all of that  
By his lonesome self.

Alone, he's slowly died,  
Locked away, he cried.  
He begged for mercy.  
God showed no mercy  
For the broken child."

The music stopped. It was at this point that Wally realized that there were tears rolling down his cheeks. He wiped the tears away furiously and quickly left the recording booth. Jude, James and I shared a look.

"Damn." James said, "He's actually a really fuckin' good singer."

"Yeah, damn is right." Jude said in agreement.

"I think that's the first time we've ever got a vocal track perfect in one take." I commented.

The door opened, and Wally stepped inside.

"How'd I do?" He asked, sniffling.

"You okay, buddy?" I asked.

"I think so, yeah. Just... that's the first thing I've ever written that was, ya know, kind of personal." He answered.

"We heard." James said, "You sure you're okay?"

Wally nodded.

"Yeah." He said again.

"Would you cared if we use this on the next album?" Jude asked.

"Go ahead." Wally agreed, "What'd you guys think of the music I came up with."

"For somebody who's never written music arrangements before?" James said, "I was impressed. You did better than Lars and I did with the original version of Hit The Lights."

Wally flushed from the praise.

"Thanks." He said.

"Heck, if you could find members, you could probably have a kick ass band of your own." Jude said.

Wally looked thoughtful about that.

"I don't know. Maybe." He said, "I can play guitar, and Tim plays bass really well. But, I like this, having you guys make my stuff. But having my own band? I don't know. It'd be like Megadeth, it'd have a revolving door lineup with new members every other album."

"Why is that a bad thing?" James asked.

"Yeah, Megadeth is a pretty successful band, if you haven't noticed." I commented.

"Yeah, I have noticed, believe it or not." Wally snarked back, "What, with the millions of copies sold."

"If you do decide to form your own band," Jude said, "As long as you don't start doing drugs, we don't care what you do with it."

"And don't start drinking either." James warned, "Trust me, it's a slippery slope. I've been there. It nearly destroyed my band, don't let it happen to you."

Wally sat there, with a contemplative look on his face.

"I might. I'd have to talk to Tim about it." Wally said.

"Aren't you meeting up with him after this?" I asked him.

Wally nodded.

"Yeah, I should probably get going actually." Wally said, getting up and grabbing his bicycle helmet.

"If you do decide to form a band and record this yourselves, tell us." I said.

"I will. I'll see you guys later."

He walked out and James, Jude and I shared another look.

"And it begins." I said.

Wally's POV:

I rode my bike the ten miles to Tim's house, my dad's and James' words whirling around in my head.

Could I make a band of my own work.

I don't really not know. Not even a little bit. I mean, I had forced myself to learn to play guitar, and I was pretty good at it. Tim had been playing bass guitar since he was six years old. He knew his instrument inside out, backwards, sideways and upside down. We could both write lyrics, and that would only get better with practice.

I rolled to a stop in his garage and dismounted my bike, marching into the house. I quickly noticed that Tim's parents were not home, like they almost never were anymore. I found Tim sitting on the couch, writing something down on a sheet of notebook paper.

"Hey man." He said, not looking up from his writing.

I plopped down next to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Had an idea. Had to write it down." He responded.

"Can I see?" I asked.

He handed me the paper.

"I just started writing it down. So there's not much there." He said.

"Death caused by howitzer's hand  
Spreading ruin across the land.  
As the government always planned,  
Nothing survives to stand." I read.

Immediately, a thought pooped into my head.

"You mind if I add something to this?" I asked.

"Go ahead." He said.

"All the while,  
The children are dying  
While we are trying  
To win a pointless war." I jotted down while reading aloud as I did so.

"Do you know a word that rhymes with traumatize?" He asked me, "I've got this one line that I'm trying to make work."

"What's the line?" I asked.

"When the intent of man's heart is traumatize... but that's all I've got." He said.

"How about... The only course left to take would be to euthanize. Does that work?" I said offhanded.

"Thanks!" He said, "I can't believe I didn't think of that before."

It was in this moment that I realized a band with us in it could work.

"I've got something I want to talk to you about." I said.

Tim looked at me strangely.

"Oh god. What is it? Is it bad?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes at my boyfriend and shook my head.

"It's nothing bad." I assured him.

"Then what is it?"

"How would you feel about forming our own band?" I asked him.

"It'd be cool, but we'd have to hunt down more members." He said, "There's only one other person at school who can play metal lead guitar, and we didn't get along with him very well until recently."

"Oh, yeah. Jason." I agreed, "Our friendship with him is still pretty fragile, I don't know if it would survive being in a band together."

"We could always ask him." Tim said, "But we'd still need a bassist and a drummer. Nobody at school knows how to play them well enough to play the kind of music we're thinking of."

Until recently, Jason Donnovan had been the eternal thorn in mine and Jason's collective side. He was the only person in the world, besides the deceased pedophile that was my former foster father, that I truly fantasized about beating the ever loving shit out of. Constant comments about our sexualities. Constant slurs. Constantly trying to piss either me or Tim off. Constantly spreading rumors, and trying to start fights. It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that he came up to us and asked to speak to us. He told us that he was sorry that he had been such an ass. When asked why the sudden change of heart, he replied it was because his little brother had just came out, and he realized what an ass he had been to us. It took us a while to really be comfortable around him, and for him to be comfortable around us, but he really isn't that bad of a person to hang around with. He can be a bit obnoxious sometimes, but then again so can everybody else at Anchor Beach.

"We could always check Craigslist." I joked, "There are ads on their for musicians looking for bands to play with.

"I don't know about that, Tim." I said, "Craigslist still has a bad reputation. We know a couple places downtown where bands play. We could always go down on Saturday and poach players."

"I'm not looking to piss off other bands by stealing members..." He started to say.

"Well, we may not have another choice, because I am not going to answer an ad on Craigslist and get myself killed." I said.

"Fine. We'll do it. But if we get into a fight, I'm blaming you." He said.

"Fair enough." I said, "You got anything else to add to this?"

I motioned to the paper with our writing on it.

"Give me a second." He said, and started thinking.

We sat there for a couple of hours, working out the rest of the lyrics before I called Dads and asked them to bring my guitar and amp over so we could jam ideas for the arrangements.

'Yeah,' I thought to myself, 'A band really could work.'


	45. Shattered

Connor's POV (Tuesday, January 13th, 2026):

A lot has happened since the day, one month ago, since Wally recorded his song.

Cold Embrace released its newest album. It debuted at #3 on the Billboard 200, and sold 70,000 copies in its first week after release. None of us were very concerned that it didn't hit #1. It was still a top five album that would likely go gold by the end of next year, and we were proud of our work.

Tim and Wally had made two big decisions.

They decided in the end not to form their own band, instead opting for the occasional guest appearances on our albums. Wally's reasoning was that if they formed their own band, they would eternally be in our band's shadow and that would drive him insane, and he didn't want to compete with us. We understood.

Also, much to the surprise of me, Jude and almost everybody else... Wally and Tim made the mutual decision to end their relationship. It was the first time Jude and I have ever witnessed a breakup that hadn't ended in screaming and a knockdown drag out fight. They were sitting at the kitchen table having a very calm discussion about it.

"Mini-Flashback:

The two of them were sitting at the table doing their history homework. Tim kept twitching, and Wally was barely paying attention to it.

"Hey, Wally?" Tim asked.

"Yeah?" Wally responded.

"Can we have a serious discussion?" Tim asked.

"Of course, dude. What's up?" Wally asked.

"I think we should break up." Tim said.

Wally looked shocked for a second but quickly recovered.

"Okay." He said.

He went back to his homework. Tim looked at him, confused.

"That's it? No fight or anything?" He asked.

"Do you want me to fight with you?" Wally asked, with an inquisitive eyebrow raised.

"No, but... I figured you'd at least ask why." Tim said.

"I think I already do, but if you insist, go ahead and tell me why." Wally said casually.

"We're just too similar, and it doesn't feel as right as it did when it started." Tim started to say, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I do love you to death, but it's... it's kind of like..."

"Let me guess, it feels almost like you're dating your twin brother?" Wally finished for him.

"Um. Yeah. That's almost exactly what I was gonna say."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking, and I get what you mean." Wally continued, "I do love you too... but it's not romantic. Not like I thought it was. It's almost familial. I think of you as my affectionate little brother, or twin."

"So... we're both in agreement. There's only one thing to do then, isn't there?" Tim said.

"Seems like it."

"We can still be friends though, right?" Tim asked, making sure.

"Of course, dummy!" Wally said with a smile, "I'm not even upset about it at all. Besides, you're nuts if you think you can get rid of me that easily."

They sat in silence for a minute.

"You know? That's probably the first breakup in your family that hasn't ended in a full out war." Tim pointed out.

Wally started laughing, and so did Jude and I from where we were eavesdropping.

End of Mini-Flashback

About three days after they officially broke up, Wally and Tim came to us and told us that there was this group of new kids who had moved to Anchor Beach, and they had made it their personal mission to make Wally and Tim's life a living hell. Apparently their parents were members of the Westborough Baptist Church, an organization that Jude and I thought had disintegrated years ago. The fact that it still existed in 2026. Four days after this initial discussion, we found out that it had dissolved into an all out war. Whenever we asked about it in front of Tim after that, Tim would turn white as a sheet. Tim seemed to be their main target, while Wally got caught in the crossfire.

Today was a Tuesday, and it had began just like any other. Wally was at home because he had been suspended for a whole week for fighting. We thought about grounding him, but since he was only defending himself and Tim, we figured we'd let him off with a warning to not get caught doing it again. Wally had caught the double meaning of what we said, and had responded only with a demonic smirk that promised mischief.

Today, was about to take a horrible turn.

"DADS!" Wally screamed.

Jude and I rose from our seats at the table in a flash and ran to our son's room. Luke was at school at the moment. I swung his bedroom door open to find him on the floor staring at his cell phone in terror, shock, disbelief, worry, and anguish. I got down on my knees in front of Wally and gently pulled the boy into a hug.

"Let me see it?" I asked, and Wally gently placed the phone into my waiting hand.

I looked at what was on the screen.

It was a text from Tim, and as I read the text aloud, my eyes widened with shock and disbelieving terror as my jaw graced the harsh carpeted floor with its presence as I read the text out loud.

"I've had it Wally. I can't take this anymore. They won't stop. I feel so bad because of them. I'm sorry. I luv u brother, but I'm done. Bye Wally. Tell your dads thank you for me. Tell my mom and dad I luv them. Goodbye."

I dropped the phone.

"Oh fuck." I whispered.

"No, this cannot be happening." Jude whispered aloud in a horror induce haze of confusion.

I began pacing the room. Then I turned back to Wally.

"How bad has it gotten Wally?"

"Bad. They're leaving crap on his Facebook now." He revealed.

"Bring up his page." I ordered.

Wally leapt to his feet and scrambled to his computer and opened up Tim's Facebook page. As I read the comments that had been posted my intense rage grew exponentially. The comments were things calling Tim "a worthless fag" and that he should "do the world a favor and die" because he was a "waste of space". I started to cry quietly, but the sobs were soon replaced by enraged growls of pure hatred and fury.

"Jude. Call his parents." I ordered, "Now. Tell them what's going on."

Jude did as I told him, and I turned back to Wally.

"Why didn't you tell us how bad it was getting?" I asked him gently.

"He told me he could handle it, Dad."

A minute later, Jude reentered the room.

"They didn't pick up the phone." He said, worried.

"We need to get to the school." I said firmly, "Now."

We all headed for Jude's Aston, Wally reaching it before we even walked out the front door.

"How did it get this far?" I wondered aloud as I got in the car, "Surely the staff would have done something. Surely Lena at least would have done something?"

"They would if they knew about it." Wally added from the back seat, "The teachers are clueless."

"But they caught you fighting..." Jude pointed out.

"They thought the fight was over something completely different that it actually was."

"Where do you think he went?" Jude asked, "Do you think he left the school, or..."

"Or is he doing what I almost did?" I asked aloud.

"What do you mean?" Jude asked.

"I'll bet you any money he's on the roof."

We sat in silence the rest of the way there, with Jude driving like an absolute maniac. We thundered into the parking lot of Anchor Beach.

"Let's go." Wally said, and we leapt from the vehicle as soon as it stopped. Together, we reached the stairwell that leads to the school roof. Wally flung the stairway door open and it hit the wall with such force that the little window cracked.

We reached the top, and flung the door to the roof open with a loud bang. Tim was at the edge, and as we watched, he climbed over the railing and was getting ready to jump.

"Oh my god…" Wally said, "Timmy, NO!"

He turned around to look at us. His eyes were red from the constant flow of tears that were streaking down his face.

"TIM, NO!" We all screamed in synchrony. Wally was fighting himself, trying desperately now to grow hysterical. Jude and I had to leap forward to stop Wally from lunging forward.

"Why are you here, Wally?" Tim asked, his voice broken, "I didn't want you to have to see this..."

"I got the text." Wally responded, his voice shaking, "Tim please don't do this..."

"I can't do it anymore, Wally." He responded tearfully, "I can't."

"Then transfer schools! Do home schooling!" Wally yelled frantically, "Please don't do this Tim, PLEASE! I NEED MY BROTHER!"

Tim stood there, both hands gripping the railing looking back and forth between us, and the ground behind him. Tim looked at Wally, and then back behind him, and then back to Wally one last time.

"I'm sorry, Wally."

Maintaining eye contact with Wally, Tim released the railing.

"NOOOO!" Wally screamed and ran forward and dove for the edge, hoping desperately to catch hold of Tim's wrist.

There was nothing he could do.

There was nothing any of us could do.

We were all too far away from him to grab him.

Wally laid at the edge, his hand still reached out, staring ahead at the ground below.

THUD.

Wally leapt to his feet and charged past us through the door to the staircase. Jude and I didn't think. We just ran after him.

We charged down the stairs to the ground floor, and ran full tilt out of the school.

Wally beat us there.

There was already a crowd gathered.

Wally slid to a stop next to Tim and dropped to his knees.

Tim was still alive, but barely.

"Tim... oh god. No. P-please god no..." Wally whimpered.

"W-w-wally..." Tim whimpered.

"Don't do this to me... p-p-please brother." Wally begged.

Tim's eyes flicked up to meet Wally's gaze. He raised his head slightly, gasping for breath.

"I-I... I. Love. You. Brother..." He gasped out.

His head fell back to the ground.

"noNoNONO!" Wally screamed frantically, shaking Tim's body, "TIM NO! NOOOOO!"

No response.

Wally started sobbing, and screaming as he pulled his best friend into his lap and clung to him. He placed his chin on the top of Tim's head and sobbed. He rocked back and forth, cradling Tim in his arms.

Jude and I stared at what we were seeing, unable to believe it. Horror was overtaking all of our senses. We both moved forward and gently pried Wally away from Tim.

"NO!" Wally screamed, "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME! I CAN'T LEAVE HIM!"

"There's nothing you can do, Wally." I choked out through my own tears.

Wally's sobs consumed him as we lifted him to his feet. He reared hi head back and let loose a horrible scream.

He turned his head a fraction of an inch, and his eyes landed on something that made his sobs cease. They were replaced by a roar of rage as he charge away from us...

... Heading directly towards a small group of people.

"YOU DID THIS!" Wally screamed.

"Oh shit." Jude muttered as he and I moved forward quickly to intercept him.

"YOU DID THIS! YOU DID THIS TO HIM!" Wally screamed at them, "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! MARK MY FUCKING WORDS!"

He lunged forward to attack them, but Jude and I caught him just an inch shy of making contact.

He fought against Jude and my grip, trying desperately to get at the small group as we dragged him away.

"I WILL KILL YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! I WILL FUCKING K-KILL Y-YOU ALL!" Wally screamed, his rage overcoming all reason as the ambulance arrived.

The paramedics leapt from the back of the ambulance and rushed to Tim's side. Wally went limp in our arms and started crying again.

"WE'VE GOT A PULSE!"

Our attention is immediately refocused on the paramedics.

"A pulse?" Wally croaked, rushing forward.

"It's weak, but it's still there. Your friend's not dead yet son." The first paramedic said.

"Can you save him?" Wally asked frantically.

"We'll try our best, kiddo. You can count on that." The second paramedic said to us, "CALL IT IN! HE'S GONNA NEED IMMEDIATE SURGERY ON ARRIVAL!"

"What hospital are you taking him to?" I asked.

"Sacred Cross." The paramedic responded.

"We'll follow you there." Jude said.

We all ran for the car, and as soon as the ambulance pulled out, we were right behind it.

I turned in my seat to look at Wally.

"Hang in there, bubby. There's still a chance. Tim's not dead yet." I told him.

Wally didn't respond.

He just stared straight ahead, a strange glint in his eyes as his crying ceased.

"He better be okay..." Wally whispered, his voice devoid of emotion.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"If he dies... I'm gonna kill every single one of them."

His voice brokered no argument, and I fought with everything I had to keep my face neutral as I turned back to face forward.

I shared a look with Jude out of the corner of my eye, and he looked as horrified as I was...

... Because we both knew that Wally was being serious.


	46. Intervention

Connor's POV (January 15th, 2026):

It's been a day and a half.

A day and a half since Tim jumped off the roof of Anchor Beach.

He's lucky to be alive, albeit in a coma.

His parents still hadn't shown up, and apparently, according to Wally, it was because they were both in Europe on business. When asked why they weren't on their way to their son's side, Wally simply replied that it was because they cared more about their precious careers than their son.

Wally can't bear to even enter the hospital after seeing the state he was in. Tim had numerous broken bones, internal bleeding and bruising. In between his numerous surgeries, he was kept in a medically induced coma. Wally had stood at his bedside, staring at his friends mangled form, and had whispered something to himself.

The only word I caught, was revenge.

On our way out of the room, a doctor pulled us aside and told us that Tim had injuries acquired before his suicide attempt. Injuries that pointed to physical abuse. The doctor told us that when Tim's parents arrived, they would likely be reported and arrested.

For half of the drive home, all Wally does is cry. But halfway there, he stops. The tears cease, and his eyes grow cold, and a deep glaring frown takes residence on his visage. It's the same look he had on his face when we were following the ambulance to the hospital and he spoke the most frightening words I'd ever heard him say.

"If he dies... I'm gonna kill every single one of them."

When we get home, he slowly meanders into the house, sitting in his recliner in his bedroom. Minion hops into his lap and lays down, and Wally strokes the dogs hair. Minion whines, sensing his boy's distress and anger.

We all go to sleep that night, a sense of unease settling over the house.

When we awake the next morning, it was to the sound of Wally getting ready for school.

Jude and I ventured into the kitchen to find Wally dressed completely in black, sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. He had headphones in his ears, so I tapped him on the shoulder to gain his attention.

"What?" Wally asked coldly.

"You sure you wanna go to school?" I asked him, "You can stay home if you want."

"I'm not staying home." He responded coldly, "I've got stuff I need to do."

"Alright, well, if you need anything, call us." Jude said softly.

Wally turned to us, and his cold gaze softened at lightning speed. He walked up to us and wrapped us both in a hug.

"I love you, Dads." He whispered.

"We love you too, buddy." Jude said.

Wally released us, and with a wave, he walked out the door, bicycle helmet in hand. Right before the door closed, Jude and I saw the look on his face shift. It returned to the cold, furious mask that he had been wearing since it happened.

I dragged Jude into the kitchen, and we both plopped down into chairs at the table.

"Jude, this is bad." I said, "This is really bad."

"No shit, Connor. Did you see the look on his face when he left?" Jude responded worriedly, "That look... it was... it was evil."

"And what he said yesterday in the car..." I recalled.

"I know. He was being serious." Jude said, "He's already acting differently too. He's acting cold. What are we gonna do?"

"I... I have no idea." I admit, "I don't know how to help him. I mean, I've never had a friend try to kill themselves before."

"Neither have I." Jude said.

Jude sighed and ran a hand through his recently cut short hair.

"I'm worried about what he's gonna do to them." He said, "The ones responsible."

"You don't think he'd try to take one of our guns, do you?" I asked.

"No." Jude said quickly, "He doesn't know where we keep the safe, and even if he did, he doesn't know the combination to it anyway."

"Do you think maybe we should pull him from Anchor Beach?" I asked, "I mean, we could always do home schooling."

"It's an idea." Jude admitted, "But we should wait and see how things go down first."

I rubbed my forehead, and could feel a headache coming on.

"I'm gonna take a nap on the couch, okay?" I told Jude.

"Okay, babe." Jude said before leaning forward to kiss my forehead, "I'll wake you up in a couple of hours."

I rose from my chair and lumbered into the living room. I fetched a blanket, and curled up on the couch. Minion hopped up and plopped down imperiously, cuddling up to my chest and giving me a look that clearly said: I am going to cuddle, and you won't stop me.

I laughed and scratched his head affectionately.

"Silly creature." I said quietly as I dozed off to sleep.

I was awoke several hours later to Jude shaking my shoulder.

"Connor, wake up." He said, "I just got a text from Momma. It's about Wally."

I was immediately awake.

"What about him? What's going on?" I asked.

"Apparently one of the kids who went after Tim fell down the stairs." Jude said, "In the only stairwell without a camera. They have no proof, but Wally wasn't in class when it happened, and he she said he looked satisfied with himself when she saw him in the cafeteria at lunch. Momma's worried he might have done it."

"They think Wally pushed somebody down the stairs?" I exclaimed.

Jude nodded.

"Is the kid alright?" I asked.

"Broken arm and dislocated shoulder."

"Fuck." I muttered, "Do you think Wally did it? Or is it coincidence?"

"I want to believe it wasn't him..." Jude said worriedly, "But a kid can only take so much. With all the things he's been through already, to add Tim trying to kill himself because of bullying to the mix? If it had happened to me and you back when we were kids, I would have lost it too. Wally's said a thousand times that he would die to protect the people he loves, and do anything to avenge us. What if this is it?"

"What do you think we should do?" I asked.

"I would suggest snooping, but..." He started to say.

"But nothing." I cut in, "These are extreme circumstances Jude."

With that, we rose from our seats and headed down the hallway to Wally's room.

We searched his dresser and found nothing, taking care to return everything to its original position. We searched his closet, and again found nothing. It wasn't until we went through his desk that we got somewhere.

A notebook. It was a black leather bound journal.

"Should we?" Jude asked.

"Might as well." I said nervously, afraid of what I might find.

I had reason to be afraid, it turned out.

It was Wally's journal. Jude and I skipped over everything up until the most recent pages, and what we found was terrifying. Wally had written that he blamed himself for not stopping the bullying before it had reached the level it had reached. He was overcome with grief, and he was hell bent on revenge on the group that was responsible. He intended to exact revenge on all of them as the last page revealed.

"It's a list of names..." He whispered.

"The names of the kids responsible." Jude observed uneasily, "With what he plans to do to each of them. He's literally on the warpath."

"That last name has Glock written next to it!" I exclaimed, "Jesus Christ, he really has lost it..."

"What are we gonna do?"

"We need to talk to him!" I said adamantly, "Before this gets worse than it already is. We have to intervene."

"He gets home in two hours." Jude said, "We'll talk to him then."

We sat down and tried to relax until Wally got home.

We heard the front door open and close, and Wally walked in, a hard mask of cold indifference painting his features.

"Hey dads." He said simply.

"Hey, Wally." I said in greeting.

"So, Lena called today." Jude said by way of a greeting.

Wally ignored us, heading straight into the kitchen.

"She said, that one of Tim's harassers fell down the stairs. Broke their arm. Dislocated their shoulder." I said, continuing from where Jude started.

"Yeah they did. Delicious, isn't it?" Wally said, a note of satisfaction in his voice.

"How did it feel, Wally?" I asked.

"How did what feel?" He asked.

"Pushing him down the stairs."

He froze, and turned back to us.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

"Don't try to hide it, Wally." Jude interrupted, "We found the damn journal."

He extracted it from his pocket and tossed it onto the table.

"You snooped through my room?" He asked, scandalized.

"Yeah, we did. And right now, frankly, I'm glad we did." I answered, "What the hell are you doing Wally?"

"The school isn't punishing them." Wally said venomously, "None of the teachers witnessed any bullying, so as far as they're concerned, it didn't happen."

"So you're going to punish them instead?" Jude asked.

"You're damn right I am!"

"Wally, you're going too far..." I started to say, but Wally snapped.

"THE HELL I AM! THEY DESERVE TO DIE!" Wally exploded, "THOSE EVIL BASTARDS ALMOST KILLED MY BROTHER! THEY. WILL. PAY!"

"THIS ISN'T THE WAY!" Jude exploded back, "I get that you're angry. I get that you're upset! But this is going too far, Wally! YOU'RE PLANNING TO KILL THEM! IN A VARIETY OF WAYS!"

"AND I'LL LAUGH WHILE I DO IT!" Wally screamed, looking deranged.

"You'd never forgive yourself if you actually killed somebody!" I shouted coldly.

"Oh, what do you know? It's not like you've ever done it!" Wally shot back venomously.

"YES, WE HAVE!" I erupted.

Absolute silence.

Wally stared at the two of us, horrified, his mouth agate. He seemed to be doing an impression of a goldfish.

"W-what?" Wally whispered.

"When we were in high school, there was a school shooting." I explained coldly, "Twenty people were killed. We would have been two of them, if Jude hadn't knocked out one of the shooters. We took his guns and fought our way out. We were firing blindly behind us. We didn't know until days later that our shots had actually landed. And you know something? To this day, I still hate myself for it."

Jude and Wally looked at me, slightly alarmed at my wording.

"The two we killed?" I continued, "They were swine. Racists. Homophobes. Bigots. Bigots that had wives. Children of their own. Children that would never see their fathers again. They may have deserved to die... but taking their lives yourself? It changes you. It's far too easy. Living with yourself afterwards? Knowing that you, yourself, caused another human being's life to come to an end? It's something that'll haunt you for the rest of your life. It was seven years ago, and I still have nightmares about it sometimes. Both of us do. We know you, Wally. You would never be able to live with yourself if you actually did it. The guilt, it would eat at you, until it drives you mad."

"They deserve to be punished..." Wally protested feebly.

"We know they do, buddy." Jude said softly, "But this isn't the way. Violence only breeds more violence. It doesn't solve anything."

Wally looked at Jude, unsure about what to think, when Jude went in for the kill.

"Ask yourself what Tim would want. This isn't what Tim what want, and you know it."

As Jude finished speaking with that final point, Wally's eyes widened as he recoiled violently as if he'd been physically struck. He fell against the wall of the kitchen and sunk to the floor. He didn't say a word. I sat down in front of him, crossing my legs, and Jude quickly followed him. We could see that he was shaking. He made no move to speak, so we simply sat in silence.

After ten minutes, he finally broke the silence.

"I did it."

Jude and I looked at Wally.

"I pushed him..." Wally said, shakily, "I just... I love Tim. He's my brother. In all but blood. And they almost took him from me."

I reached out and put a hand on Wally's knee, giving it a squeeze.

"We never go a week without talking to each other, Tim and I." Wally said, "It's only a day and a half and it's already driving me crazy."

Jude and I shifted so that we sat on either side of Wally. We put our arms around him and hugged him.

"I feel empty. I feel perpetually angry. I want them to bleed." He continued, "But you're both right. Tim would be furious with me if he knew what I was doing. Everything I see reminds me of what happened."

He looked between us for a couple of seconds.

"I... I need help, Dads." He said brokenly, "I can't handle this. Not by myself. I-I-I m-m-miss h-him. I-I m-miss h-h-him s-so m-m-much!"

Jude and I held Wally, as he finally broke down completely. We shared a look, and we knew what each other was thinking.

After we calmed Wally down, we put him to bed and sat down in our bedroom for a discussion.

"We need to pull him from Anchor Beach." I said immediately, "Sending him back there is like sending a coyote into a chicken coop."

"Agreed... but it might not be enough." Jude said simply.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"This whole city. It holds nothing but misery for him. The only good memories he has of San Diego are of us." Jude explained.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"Maybe... maybe it's time we leave." Jude said hesitantly, "Take Wally, and leave California."

"What about Tim?" I asked, "Wally would hate us for separating them."

"Then we'll take him with us." Jude said, "You heard the doctors. He's been abused. His parents haven't even shown up yet to see him, and they won't be for a while. They'll be arrested as soon as they set foot in his room. We could take him in, and take him with us."

"We couldn't leave the state with him as just a foster son."

"Then we'll adopt him."

I looked at Jude sharply.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked him carefully, "I mean... they were boyfriends, Jude. Wally and Tim. Do you want a repeat of what happened with Brandon and Callie?"

Jude frowned at the mention of that extremely sore subject.

"It won't." He said, slightly irritated, "Besides, Tim and Wally broke up because they both knew that they loved each other like brothers rather than as boyfriends. If they still had romantic feelings for each other, they wouldn't have broken up."

"I guess you're right..." I said, "We'll discuss it more later, okay?"

After the conclusion of our discussion, we cuddled up together in bed.

We both knew, deep down, that by year's end we would not be living in San Diego.

This city has given us a lot. It gave me Jude back. It gave him his family. It brought us together.

But San Diego had taken so much from us.

It would not take our son from us too.

We would not allow it.


	47. Awakening

Jude's POV (February 22nd, 2026.):

It's been over a month since we confronted Wally.

The next day, we pulled him from Anchor Beach. He didn't make a single protest. He knew that going back to that school was too much of a temptation for him to revert back to his plans for vengeance. So we decided to home school him. Lena was a great help.

We sent him to see a therapist. Then another when the first failed, and then another when the second ended in the same outcome. Today, he met his third therapist. It didn't go very well. Actually, I think it's safe to say it was a complete fucking disaster. After today, he asked us to just gave up on therapy, since it was clear it wasn't working.

After we got home, he went straight to his room. He only left to grab a snack and a Coke about an hour later.

"I'm gonna do my homework." He mumbled as he disappeared back into the bowls of his darkened bedroom.

I looked at Connor and sighed.

"If Tim doesn't wake up soon..."

"I know, Jude." He said, "I know."

"Did you talk to your Uncle?" I asked.

"Yes. Earlier." He said.

"What'd he say?" I prompted.

"He did it. Just like he said he would." Connor said quietly.

"How?" I asked.

"You know? I asked him the exact same question." Connor said, "He told me I didn't want to know. He said it wasn't easy, and what he did was barely legal. It's probably best we don't know."

"But he did it?" I clarified.

"Yeah. Tim's in our custody. As soon as his parents get back they'll be arrested for child abuse, and their parental rights terminated." Connor explained, "As soon as we start adoption proceedings, Evan's gonna try and get it fast tracked like he did with Wally's."

I sighed in relief.

"The sooner we adopt him, the sooner we leave California, the better off we'll all be." I said sadly, "Wally's losing his mind here, Connor."

"I know, Jude." Connor said, "But where are we gonna go? And what about the band?"

"We swore, when we adopted Wally, that our family would come first." I responded seriously, "We've made seven albums with them. Our last album was our highest charting, best selling, and most critically acclaimed. Maybe..."

"Maybe what?" Connor asked, unsure.

"Maybe it's time to call it a day." I said sadly, "End on a high note."

"Are you sure? The band... it was our dream. It saved my life." Connor asked.

"Doing this might save our son." I pointed out, "We've made enough money. Even if we leave the band, we'll still get money from royalties and the like..."

"I'm not worried about money, Jude." Connor said flatly, "We've got plenty of that, and we've got investments that'll make us a whole lot more. And it's all because of my uncle rigging your poker games on our Vegas trip."

"Yeah, that's true." I said irritably.

Yeah, we found that out only a couple of months ago. Apparently, Evan Stevens, god bless him, rigged all of the poker games I played during our trip to Vegas all those years ago. Evan owns a lot of businesses. He makes a lot of money, and he lends a substantial amount of money to people as well. Apparently the owner of the casino borrowed about $600,000 from him. He squandered it. Evan arranged for the debt to be forgotten if I miraculously won all the games I played, "earning" an amount equal to what he was owed with interest.

He did all that, and all he asked for from us was for us to buy him a souvenir during the trip.

I swear to god, I sometimes wonder if Evan is secretly a national Mafia don with all the shit he gets into. It didn't stop me from throwing a punch at him when he told us about it though.

"I don't see why he had to go through such an elaborate scheme to get that money to me." I pondered, "He could have just put it in a trust account and gifted it when we graduated."

"You know my Uncle. He can't do things the easy way. It'd be no fun for him." Connor deadpanned, "Anyway, where do you think we should go?"

"I don't know. Mackinac Island?" I joked.

"HA!" Connor exclaimed, "But actually, Michigan isn't that bad of an idea. Wasn't Tim born their?"

"That's what Wally told us. Lived there for years, too." I recalled, "Moved here when he was nine. Lived in a town called Davison, I think."

"Well, it's an idea." Connor said slowly, "We'll have to wait to see what Tim wants when he wakes up."

We visited Wally in his bedroom after his schoolwork was finished. When we entered his room, all the lights were off, and he was sitting in his recliner, with Minion cuddled up to his chest asleep. Wally was just sitting there, staring off into space. 

"Wally?"

He gave a small wave.

"You okay, bud?" Connor asked.

Wally shook his head.

"No. I'm not."

Connor and I moved to sit down on the bed next to the chair. Wally sighed sadly.

"I feel like shit, Dads." He admitted.

"You want to talk?" I asked.

Wally stared straight ahead for a couple more moments, before sighing and turning his head to look at us. He had been crying.

"I could have done something." He whimpered.

"Wally..." Connor tried to say, but was cut off.

"If I had noticed something was up sooner, if I'd reported the bullying sooner, none of this would have happened." Wally cried, "Tim would be fine. My best friend wouldn't be in a fucking coma. He wouldn't have tried to... tried to..."

Wally couldn't bear to speak the words.

"It wasn't your fault, Walter." I said softly.

Wally looked startled, because Connor and I rarely ever used his full first name.

"You hear me?" I continued sternly, "It was NOT your fault. You can't blame yourself for this."

"The blame falls solely on the ones who did the bullying." Connor consoled, "You did the best you could, bubby. You fought back for him, even though you knew you would get suspended for it."

"Tim's lucky to have you as a friend." I added.

"He's not just my friend, Dads." Wally whimpered.

Connor and I shared a look.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He's my brother, Dads." Wally said quietly, "Even if he isn't related to me by blood, he's my brother."

"Blood doesn't make a family. Love does." I told him, with a mental sigh of relief.

We all sit in silence for a few moments.

"How have you been coping?" Connor asked.

"I'm this close to pulling my hair out." Wally deadpanned, "Even writing isn't helping like I thought it was."

"We'll find something." Connor promised, "You haven't... hurt yourself have you?"

Wally didn't answer immediately.

"No. But... I have thought about it." He answered.

"If you ever feel the urge, you come talk to me, you understand?" Connor said softly, "I know what that feels like. I've been there."

"Really?" Wally asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah. It was a bad time." Connor answered.

I opened my mouth to add to what Connor had just said, but I was interrupted when the phone rang. Connor leapt up to go get it as I continued to sit with Wally.

He came back five short minutes later.

"That was the hospital. Tim's parents just arrived. They're waiting for us now."

Wally leapt from the recliner and bolted for the door.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Stef's number.

"Hey bubba."

"Hey mom. Are you and Mike still on patrol?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Tim's parents are at the hospital. It's time." I responded.

"We'll meet you there."

We arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later. We met up with Stef and Mike and walked into Sacred Cross and headed for the elevator. When we arrived at the floor that Tim's room was on, we stepped out and headed towards a nurses station.

"Are they inside?" I asked.

The nurse nodded.

I turned to Stef and Mike.

"Wait out here. Wait for us to call you in." I said.

They nodded.

Connor, Wally and I walked into Tim's room without so much as a knock.

They were standing there. 

Kurt, Tim's father, stands only a few inches shorter than Connor, and is dressed in an expensive black suit. He is skinny, ridiculously so, and has a shaved head. He has a look of supreme boredom plastered across his smug face.

Cassidy, Tim's father, is even shorter than her husband. She is dressed in a suit that looked almost as expensive as her husband's. She had long wavy brown hair. She had the exact same expression on her face that her husband did.

I immediately felt a spike of anger in my gut, and after shooting a look at Connor out of the corner of my eye I could tell that he shared my anger.

They turned to us, and their eyes narrowed.

"Oh. It's you people." Kurt drawled.

"Yes. Us people. The people who have been taking care of your son during this whole mess." I bit out venomously.

"It took you morons over a MONTH to come make sure your son wasn't dead." Connor growled as we approached them.

"We had more important things to deal with!" Cassidy exclaimed coldly.

"Your SON SHOULD COME FIRST!" I shouted, "He should ALWAYS come first! If I had been in your position, we would have been on a plane back before the fucking DIAL TONE SOUNDED!"

"I don't expect you to know how running a company works..." Kurt bit out rudely.

"Don't you dare act all high and mighty with me you stupid asshole." Connor snarled, "We probably have more money than you do from being in a metal band. Try again."

"We don't have to listen to a bunch of queers telling us how to raise our son!" Cassidy screamed.

"YOU CALL THIS RAISING A CHILD?" Connor screamed at them.

"PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THIS WORLD IS GOING TO SHIT!" I screamed at them, "PEOPLE WHO CARE MORE ABOUT WORK THAN THEIR COMATOSE CHILD!"

"We never wanted the little brat in the first place!" Cassidy growled, "He was a fucking accident. He's never been anything more than a disappointment. A burden!" 

"YOU ARE SLIME!" Wally screams, "TIM IS THIRTY TIMES THE HUMAN BEING YOU TWO TROGLODYTES WILL EVER BE!"

"WATCH YOUR TONGUE YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

SLAP.

Wally reeled as a hand collided with his face. Simultaneously, I felt a hand grip the revolver on my belt and wrench it free from its holster, before I could do it myself.

I turn slightly. Connor has my revolver. I watch as he turns the safety off, and cocks the hammer back.

"You dare?" He hissed venomously, "YOU DARE LAY A HAND ON MY SON?"

Wally collapses back into me, and I wrap him in a tight hug. He starts crying, and then he starts shaking as he clings to me. I could see the signs. He was trying to stop himself from having a flashback to one of his foster homes.

"If you move another FUCKING MUSCLE, I will not hesitate to blow your fucking head clean off!" Connor shouted angrily, "STEF! MIKE! DO YOUR JOBS! ARREST THESE SONS OF BITCHES!"

No sooner had he given the command, did Stef and Mike step through the door in full police uniform.

"You are both under arrest for child abuse, assault on a minor, and neglect."

"YOU HAVE NO PROOF!" Kurt screamed as Mike threw him up against a wall to put the handcuffs on him. Cassidy just glared hatefully at us.

"On the contrary, we have photographic evidence of Tim's injuries." Stef said angrily, " We have eye witnesses who saw you back hand Wally. It took you a month to come see your comatose son. You're both going to jail, and you're parental rights will be revoked. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be assigned to you by the court. D you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

"YES YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Kurt shouted, "YOU'LL ALL FUCKING PAY FOR THIS!"

"S-s-shut u-up."

Everybody in the room froze.

Had we really just heard what we think we heard?

"G-g-get th-them o-out o-of h-h-here."

As one, Jude, Wally and I turned to look at the figure laying still on the bed.

His eyes were open. He was staring at us.

Tim was finally awake.

He lifted a trembling finger to point at his parents.

"Get them out of here. Please." He muttered slowly.

Stef and Mike both nodded, and dragged the two handcuffed parents from the room. They didn't go quietly, screaming a variety of slurs on the way out, but we weren't paying attention. Wally was slowly making his way closer to Tim.

"W-w-w-wally." Tim muttered.

That was all it took for Wally to dissolve into sobs. He quickly, but gently crawled into the bed next to Tim and wrapped him in a hug. Connor and I stood  
at the foot of the bed, watching the future siblings embrace.

"T-Tim." He coughed, "Y-y-you're o-okay. Why did you do that? Why d-d-did y-you j-jump?"

"I'm sorry." Tim croaked, "I wanted to die."

"I should have noticed it..." Wally started to say.

"There was nothing you could have done, buddy." Tim cut him off quietly, "It's not your fault."

"You never know. He might have been able to help. I know how that feels." Connor said softly, "I was in the same spot once. I was on my way to jump off the same room you did, but I ran into Jude. He helped me, he put me back together when I was at my lowest, even though he didn't know it at the time. If I had actually done it, look what I would've missed out on. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't end it, because of a bunch of homophobic pricks that hate you for who you are."

"I'm sorry..."

"And why didn't you tell me your parents were hitting you?" Wally asked.

"I didn't want to worry you with it."

"Well you won't have to worry about it again, Tim." I said softly.

"What?" Tim asked quietly.

"We've got custody of you." I explained, "It wasn't easy, and how it happened might not even be entirely legal, but we've got custody of you. Your parents will lose their parental rights, and we are planning to adopt you as soon as we can."

"Wait, WHAT?" Wally exclaimed, his eyes growing wide from the shock of what I had just said.

Tim just stared at us.

"Y-you'd really d-do that for me?" He whimpered.

"Of course." Connor said soothingly, "You're already like a son to us already. Wally loves you like a brother. So that's exactly what you'll be. If that's what you want."

Tim's composure crumbled, and he nodded his head as he cried into Wally's shoulder. Wally turned his head to us.

"Thank you." He mouthed to us.

"We're also thinking about moving." Connor said.

"Sounds like a plan." Tim whimpered, "I wanna leave and never set foot in California again."

"That's what we were thinking." I agreed, "We were thinking about where we would go."

"What town did you say you grew up in, Tim?"

"Davison. It's in Michigan though." He answered slowly, "You're thinking... about going there?"

"It's a possibility." I confirm, "We've looked it up. The schools have good ratings. The areas safe. It would be perfect."

"Nothing's decided yet, of course." Connor clarified, "We might find something better, but that's the first option at the moment."

"What about the band?" Wally asked.

"We're gonna step down as vocalists." I revealed, "We've already talked to the band, James and Lars. They agree with us. You two come first. They can find a new vocalist for the band. We're replaceable. You two aren't."

"Thank you." Tim whimpered sincerely.

"No thanks needed, son." Connor said, "You deserve a family who loves you, and treats you the way you deserve to be treated. You'll never have to worry about that again. We're here for you till the very end. We promise."

As we sat there that night, watching our current and future sons sleep, Connor and I both pondered how much had happened in the last few years. Once again, we found our lives were irrevocably changed and hurtling down a path we never expected to be on.


	48. A New Beginning

Connor's POV:

Tim was released from the hospital on March 3rd 2026. His parents were already sitting in jail cells. Tim made it very clear to them, through lawyers, that he never wanted to see or hear from them again, and if they tried to contact him, they would not like the consequences.

On April 14th 2026, we agreed as a family that we would be moving to Tim's old hometown of Davison, Michigan. The next day, we told the rest of the family. They were saddened by the news, but understood the necessity of the decision.

On September 13th 2026, Tim became Timothy Adams-Foster. Jude and I will never forget the sight of Wally and Tim sobbing in each other's embrace for the first time as brothers.

On October 3rd 2026, we purchased our new house in Davison, Michigan. It was situated next to a trailer park, right next to the High School. Tim mentioned that when he moved out of Davison, where the house now sat was once just an empty field. The house sat on three and a half acres of land. It was two floors tall, and had a four car garage. We had paid to have the place furnished so we wouldn't have to move all the furniture out of the house in San Diego. We were taking everything else with us, and giving the house to Brandon and Jenna, who was now his wife, and was pregnant with their first child.

It's Sunday, November 8th, 2026, and today is the day we board my Uncle's jet and leave San Diego for our new home, over two thousand three hundred miles away.

We were already at the airport, and Evan was walking the four of us to the plane he had chartered to fly us to Michigan, explaining a few things while he did.

"The plane will land at Bishop International Airport." Evan said as we waited for the plane to finish being fueled, "Your cars were shipped there ahead of time, as you requested, and their GPS systems have been programmed with the address of your new house so you don't get lost. The last thing you want to do is take a wrong turn and end up in downtown Flint."

"What's wrong with Flint?" Wally asked.

Tim snorted, wincing slightly as he did so.

"When we moved here, I was about nine years old. Six years ago, when I left, Flint was probably one of the most dangerous cities in the state. Even worse than Detroit. I remember one of my friends telling me not to go past Martin Luther King boulevard in Flint unless I wanted to get shot at."

"Tim's right, and I won't be able to help you guys if you get in trouble." Evan explained, "I've helped you with the move. I've helped you guys in every way that I possibly could. After you guys leave, you'll be on your own."

"We understand." Jude said, "You've done so much for us already. We couldn't ask for anything else."

"The boys have been enrolled at the High School in Davison. They'll be starting in the middle of Sophomore year. The school has an all year round schedule, kind of like Anchor Beach did, so it shouldn't be too bad." Evan continued, "Oh, and be cautious around people too."

"Why? Nobody will know any of us. Well, they might recognize Tim." Jude asked, confused at the warning.

"Are you forgetting that you were in a multimillion dollar selling metal band?" Wally deadpanned incredulously, "You guys performed on the fricken Grammy's, for god sake. People will definitely recognize you."

"He's got a point, JJ." I conceded.

"Anyway, my company has an office in Flint. It's the biggest city that's close to Davison." He said, "I flew out there for a meeting, way back in 2015. I wasn't about to stay in the city, because Flint's a deathtrap, so I stayed in a hotel in Davison, right off the highway. I was there for a month, and I heard a lot of things about a few of the local families."

"Let me guess, the Newman's and the Jensen's were two of them?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, you knew them?" Evan asked.

"Yeah, I was best friends with their youngest sons." Tim answered, "Aaron Newman and Casey Jensen. They all treated me like a member of the family. I'm still Facebook friends with Aaron and Casey, plus Aaron's older brother Nick."

"Are any of the rumors true?" Evan asked.

"Which ones? Even back then there were thousands of them." Tim deadpanned.

"I heard one of the older ones was a bit of a psycho...?" Evan asked vaguely

"That would be Aaron's dad, Gary." Tim said nonchalantly, "Yeah, he was a bit of a nut, and from what Aaron says on Facebook, that hasn't changed. He was more silly than he ever was a psycho, but if you piss him off he's scary as hell. He's retired now, his health isn't the best. Sharon, Aaron's mom, is a nurse. She works at McLaren Hospital. Nick, Aaron's older brother, works for GM down in Detroit."

"What about the other one? Casey?" Jude asked.

"Oh god. Uh... he's a bit of an eccentric." Tim said vaguely.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"He's a pyromaniac, for starters." Tim revealed.

Wally's eyes lit up.

"Don't even think about it." I warned him.

Wally pouted, and Tim rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"He has a raging temper." Tim continued, "I remember him punching a kid because he tried to steal one of his French fries at lunch time. Extremely loyal. Almost to a fault."

"No such thing as too loyal." Evan said.

"You still talk to all of them then?" I asked him.

"Yep. Everybody but my friend Riley." Tim responded

"Who?"

"Riley DeSilva. He was our other best friend. It was always us four. The quartet. A couple of years ago, Riley became Aaron's boyfriend." Tim continued, "That surprised the hell out of me, because Aaron was the biggest closet case I had ever met. He told me over Face Time when he was fourteen, but nearly shit himself when I asked if anybody else knew. Anyway, about a year and a half ago, out of nowhere, Riley's Facebook profile was deleted and his numbers were changed. Aaron won't tell me what happened, on Riley's request. He only said that Riley doesn't really leave his house anymore. He's homeschooled now, and the only visitor he ever allows to see him is Aaron, for obvious reasons."

"Once we get settled in, you can invite Aaron over." I said, "It'd be nice to meet somebody who knew you back then."

"I never even told him I was coming back." Tim said as he winced, "He's gonna kick my ass."

"I'll disembowel him with my sword if he tries." Wally deadpanned.

"Good luck with that." Tim scoffed, "He's been training with swords since he was seven years old. The last video he posted of him practicing, he was moving so fast you could barely see him."

"Then I'll shoot him." Wally growled.

"Good luck hitting him, your shooting is abysmal." Tim teased.

"Look who's talking! Minion has a better shot than you." Wally snarked.

"Minion is a poodle, dumb-dumb. He can't shoot." Tim deadpanned.

"My point exactly." Wally deadpanned back.

"Twit." Tim bickered back.

"Dork." Wally responded.

They began a verbal melee, a sport they engaged in at least once a day.

"Moron."

"Misfit."

"Buffoon."

"Troglodyte."

"Insect."

"Boys, that's enough." I intervened.

That's one thing Jude and I are still getting use to. The fact that now that Wally and Tim are actually siblings, they now enjoy bickering like actual siblings. It was by no means serious fighting, and I knew for a fact that they both did it because they found it funny, and they enjoyed having each other as siblings and having a person to bicker with.

The pilot descended the stairs and approached us.

"We are ready for takeoff."

Evan hugged us both.

"Good luck, to all of you." He said, "I'll miss you all. We all will."

We had said goodbye to all of our family the night before.

"Thank you, Uncle. For everything." I said to him.

"You never have to think me." He responded, "But... you're very, very welcome."

With that we boarded the plane, with Wally helping Tim up the stairs. We sat down in our seats and put our seatbelts on. A few minutes later the plane was taxiing down the runway, and lifted off into the air. All four of us stared out the window, as we left San Diego behind for possibly the last time.

The flight to Michigan was uneventful except for a few small instances of turbulence. Wally and Tim spent the majority of the flight asleep, while Jude and I took advantage of the planes small bedroom for some, uh... intense physical activity and then sleep. We landed at Bishop International, and we found the cars parked in the lot covered by tarps. Tim was gonna ride with me, and Wally with Jude. We pulled out of the airport, and got on I-69 heading east. We followed the route programmed into the GPS, and after ten minutes, we passed a dilapidated shopping mall.

"Courtland Center." Tim pointed out as we passed it, "Even back before I moved out to Cali, the only reason to go there was for the movie theater, and even that's closed now."

About five minutes later, we passed a movie theater, which Tim looked surprised to see that it was actually open for business.

"When I moved, that place had been closed for years." He explained to me after I shot him a questioning look.

A short while later, the GPS told us to get off the expressway at exit 145, which we did so immediately. We stopped at the stoplight, and when it turned green, we turned left onto M-15.

In the seat next to me, Tim exhaled a breath.

"You okay, bub?" I asked him.

"I'm finally home." He mumbled quietly.

We turned right at the stoplight onto Lapeer Rd and continued until we turned left onto N. Oak Rd. We continued down the road, passing the entrance to a trailer park.

"I used to live in there." Tim said.

It was then that I noticed that a couple of the houses we passed were damaged.

"What happened to these houses?" I asked as we slowly passed the last house before the road that led to the high school.

The last house before the high school sat on a hill, and was dilapidated, and a large section of the roof had collapsed in, and the windows were boarded up. The lawn was overgrown and the gravel driveway had large grooves in it from where rain water had eroded canals into the dirt from flowing downhill.

"I don't know." Tim said puzzled, "Probably damage from a tornado or something. A couple of the places was vacant when I moved. Never met the people who lived there either."

We continued past, until we came to a driveway, which I turned onto. The property was surrounded by a wall, and the driveway was gated. The house sat in the center of the property, with a small shed sitting about ten yards to the side of the garage.

"Wow. It looks even better in person."

Once we checked out the house and unloaded our bags, we all rode up to the Kroger to buy groceries, because the kitchen was painfully devoid of sustenance, and all of us were famished. Tim and Wally especially.

"Well, well. Look who's here!"

We all turned, and at the end of the aisle stood a heavy set green eyed boy with a thick mop of curly dirty blond hair. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a Iron Maiden t-shirt, and a black Aeropastel hooded jacket. On his head sat a Davison Cardinals baseball cap, and the hood of his jacket was raised despite the hat.

He was staring at Tim with a garish grin on his face, and there was a light in his eyes that just screamed incoming mischief yet to be unleashed.

"Aaron?" Tim asked excitedly, and at the others nod he bounded down the aisle and tackled the boy.

"I take it you're glad to see me?" Aaron joked, "Good to know. I might not have to kick your ass for not telling me of your impending return."

"As if you could take me in a fight." Tim joked.

"I have a sword. Of course I could." Aaron deadpanned.

The two boys looked at each other for a few moments, their faces blank and serious. Tim cracked first and a grin split his face, and Aaron soon followed.

"It's good to see you again, buddy." Aaron said, giving him another hug before noticing us, "Where're your folks? And why are you with the ex-singers for Cold Embrace and some random kid?"

Jude groaned when he heard that. Wally and I just snickered.

"Um. Mom and dad are in prison." Tim said, highly uncomfortable, "Dads adopted me."

'Nice to meet you. Big fan, love your music, long live rock and roll, thanks for taking Tim in." Aaron rambled off toward Jude and I quickly before returning his focus to Tim, "Why are your parents in jail?"

"Assault on a minor. They hit Wally, and plus... well, they, uh..." Tim said, turning a little whiter.

"They what?" Aaron asked carefully, his voice predicting correctly that he would not like he answer he was about to receive.

"They were charged with child abuse and neglect." Tim mumbled, "They used to beat on me a lot."

Aaron's demeanor shifted in seconds.

He cracked his neck and then he bowed his head. His brow furrowed into a deep from as his lip curled into a snarl. His back stiffened, and he started shaking. He clenched his fists into a white knuckled grip and growled.

Wow, this kid is actually kind of terrifying. I guess his reputation was deserved.

"Is there a chance of them getting out?" Aaron purred dangerously.

"No." I answered, "Their isn't."

"Pity." Aaron lamented, "I would have loved to introduced them to Ulysses."

"Who's Ulysses?" Wally asked.

"My samurai sword." Aaron said nonchalantly.

Tim slapped him on the shoulder.

"Oh be quiet. You've never had to use it anybody, and you probably never will." Tim teased.

"The hell I haven't used it on somebody!" Aaron exclaimed, "Somebody broke into the house in the middle of the night a couple of months ago. Damn near took his head off. That's why there's still a sign on our front door saying: these doors are here for your protection, not ours, trespass at your own peril."

Tim snorted.

"You still have that sign?" Tim chuckled.

"You made it for me, of course I still have it." Aaron said as if he was pointing out the obvious.

"Oh, uh... how's Riley."

"He's... same as the last you asked." Aaron said sadly, "Still won't leave his house. Maybe if I rope Casey into it, the three of us can convince him to go to a movie with us or something, just to get him out of the house."

"Speaking of which, don't tell Casey or Riley I'm back yet." Tim said, "I want it to be a surprise."

"Can do, captain." Aaron said with a mock salute, "I'd love to stay and talk more, but mom and dad are probably wondering where the hell I am."

"Yeah, tell them I said hi, okay?" Tim said.

"I will. See you at school tomorrow, right?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah." Tim said, "Wally and I are looking forward to it. You and Casey'll have to show us around the place."

"We will. See you then, dude." Aaron said.

We all turned and started to walk away.

"And Tim?"

We all turned back.

"Welcome home, brother." Aaron said.

He offered us a genuine smile, before placing his headphones in his ears and strutting back down the aisle towards the cash registers.

A small smile took residence on Tim's face for the rest of the day as he bickered playfully with Wally.

We bought enough food to last for nearly a month, and after eight trips back and forth to the Aston, we finally sat down to relax for a few minutes before it was time for Jude and I to start fixing dinner. As we sat at the dinner table that night, we all were quiet until Tim raised his glass.

"Can I make a toast?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course." Jude said with a small smile.

"Here's to a new beginning." Tim said.

We all raised our glasses to touch his

"To a new beginning." We said in unison before draining our glasses.


	49. Riley DeSilva

Connor's POV:

It's been a month since we moved into our new house, here in Davison Michigan.

For at least half of those days, we have been graced with the presence of Aaron Newman, who had taken to sticking to Tim and Wally's side like a fly to flypaper. After knowing him for three days, Jude and I could both already tell that he would be a near permanent fixture in our lives.

We learned much about our sons' friend within the first three days.

He was born into a Kentuckian family, and had lived in Davison for ten of his sixteen years of life. He met Tim on the playground in second grade. Aaron was sitting at a table alone, and Tim decided to sit with him. They struck up a conversation about music, and before the end of the lunch period, they had become friends. Tim discovered very quickly that Aaron was extremely loyal to those he considered friends. He would go to the ends of the Earth and beyond to ensure that his friends were safe and happy.

Aaron was an outgoing boy around us. He talked at a hundred miles an hour, during which he enjoyed affecting a convincing fake Scottish accent and lowered the tone of his voice a couple of octaves for Tim and Wally's amusement. His sense of humor was dark like Wally's. Tim joked that if Aaron were to pull a prank by himself, several people would end up a couple of limbs lighter; and his favorite comedic piece was George Carlin's list of people who ought to be killed, a fact that Wally found very entertaining and delighted in quoting lines from it.

It didn't take him very long to let his walls down around us, but according to Aaron, his personality shifts between what he calls his "private face" and his "public face".

His private face is one that he wears is that of a tired and angry boy, desperate for acceptance and love from his friends and family. From what he has told us of his family, only his mother, father, brother, a couple aunts and a cousin know about his sexuality. This is his true self, as he calls it. A boy who is forced by his own fears to temper himself around a large portion of his southern homophobic family.  

His public face was the mask he developed for himself after an incident that happened after Tim moved to San Diego. After Aaron and Riley officially started going out at the beginning of eighth grade, they were caught kissing in the school locker room after gym class. The kids who caught them took a picture of them before they could pull apart, and posted it online. The bullying that followed was even worse than the torture that Tim had endured at Anchor Beach. Taunts. Physical violence. An attempted sexual assault on Riley that resulted in Aaron beating the kid until he could barely breathe.

It was the face he wore when he was in public, or around people he didn't truly trust.

Today, he was over watching a movie with Wally and Tim, and they were all talking about how to get Riley to go see a movie at the movie theater by the hospital.

"Why doesn't Riley ever leave his house?" I asked, curious.

Aaron froze and stared off into space for a moment before shuddering in discomfort.

"Sorry, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to." I backpedalled.

"It's fine. I'll tell you, just give me a second." Aaron said, taking a deep breath before continuing, "We were on a date at the mall. Genesee Valley. I told him it was dangerous, because the place has a gang problem. He wanted to go to the music store, FYE, for your guys' new album."

"I'm sorry..." Jude started to say.

"Don't be. I don't blame you guys. I wanted it too." Aaron interrupted and continued, "I left for ten minutes to go to the bathroom. Asked him to wait for me at the food court. When I went back to get him, he was gone. Found him outside, surrounded by a bunch of assholes. Some stupid gang. Riley was on the ground. They were kicking him. Beating the shit out of him. I lost it. I had my cane, I always did because of my fucked up ankle. I flew into them swinging as hard as I could. Those swine never saw me coming. Most of them ran, but the main one stayed. He thought he could fight me. I had him on the ground within five seconds. I got five good whacks to his head before security finally showed up. I rode with Riley to the hospital. His parents met us there, and they tried to blame me for what happened. I screamed myself hoarse and ended up destroying the conference room we were asked to wait in."

"How bad was Riley hurt?" I asked.

"Three broken ribs." Aaron listed, "Busted elbow, broken nose, dislocated shoulder. The guy that I took down was arrested and charged with a hate crime. He'll never get out of jail."

"That's good." Wally commented.

"Yeah, but the damage is already done." Aaron said sadly, "Riley will barely talk when I go over to visit him, and when he does we always end up shouting at each other."

"Maybe if Tim was there it would be better?" Wally asked.

"Maybe. There's only one way to find out." Aaron said darkly, "I'll call Casey and tell him we're gonna try it."

He pulled out his cell phone and exited the room to place the call. He returned moments later.

"It's on. He's gonna meet us at the high school."

It was a short drive to the high school. It didn't even last five minutes. It was less than a mile distance. We had only been parked in the parking lot for two minutes when a shadow fell over the side of the car.

Tim leapt out of the car and gave the boy a hug.

"It's good to see you, Casey." Tim said.

Casey delivered a soft slap to the back of Tim's head.

"That's for not telling me you were coming back, bro." Casey growled jokingly as Aaron and Wally too exited the car to join the huddle.

Casey Jensen was a whole head shorter than Aaron, and had a long head of brown hair that stretched to the middle of his back. He had the beginnings of a full beard and mustache. His brown eyes held the same mischievous spark that Aaron's did, although much more vibrant. He spoke with a deep voice. The muscles visible were enough to tell that he was an athlete, as Tim had told us he played football and lacrosse.

According to what Tim and Aaron had told us, Casey was a very outgoing boy with a bit of a clownish streak to his personality, and was confident in almost everything he did. He liked to pull pranks on people. His third day of school this year, Aaron told us, he planted a stink bomb in the cheerleading coach's office and left no evidence that it had been him.

He was also very combative. One of the Jocks with a low IQ pulled on his ponytail one day in class, which resulted in a brawl that Aaron had to step in to break up. Later that day, somebody called Casey a rather insulting name for a Native American, which Casey happens to be. Together, Aaron and Casey scared the living daylights out of him, to the point where the afro adorned trouser stain let out an incredibly girly screech. They joked later that he had screamed like a little girl, maybe five or six years old, with pigtails and a frilly skirt.

Tim released Casey from the embrace and pointed to us all as Jude and I got out of the car.

"Casey, this is my new family." Tim introduced, " My brother Wally, and my dads, Jude and Connor Stevens Adams-Foster."

"Yeah, I heard about what happened from Aaron." Casey muttered angrily, "They fricken beat you?"

"Yeah," Tim confirmed uncomfortably, "It's not a big deal anymore..."

"The hell it isn't a big deal!" Casey said, his voice breaking halfway through speech, "They h-hurt you! And they get away with only a long stay in prison? It's bullshit!"

"Now isn't the time, Case." Aaron interjected, "He doesn't want to go into it."

"Sorry." Casey said sheepishly, "So what's going down? Why are we all here?"

"We're gonna try to convince Riley to leave his cave for a few hours." Aaron deadpanned.

"HAA!" Casey exclaimed, "Good luck with that."

"Yeah. Maybe Tim being back will help?" Aaron said hopefully.

"Guess we'll have to wait and see." Casey responded.

"Where does he live?" I asked.

"In the trailer park. Timber Heights." Casey responded, "Tim can show you where it is."

We all piled into the Aston, Wally having to sit on Tim's lap because of the lack of room. We pulled back out onto Oak Rd, and took a right. We turned left into the trailer park and drove up the long winding street to the trailer park. Tim directed us to Riley's home, which was in the very back of the trailer park. When we arrived, the driveway was empty, so we pulled into it and shut the car off. We all exited the car and approached the door.

"Wait here for a minute." Aaron said, "I'm gonna go in and try to talk to him first."

We did as we were asked, and Aaron entered the house.

Ten minutes later, we stood at the door waiting.

"Okay, this is taking too long." Tim finally said, "Let's go in."

I gently opened the door and we all shuffled inside silently.

Aaron stood in the center of the living room, in the midst of a heated conversation with another boy. The boy had short ginger hair. He was of average height for his age. He was skinny, basically of a similar build that Jude had when we were that age.

"Just go away, Airy." Riley mumbled.

"That's never worked, Riles, and it won't start working now!" Aaron said, "The boy I know would never do this kind of thing. I know he's still in there somewhere!"

"The boy you knew." Riley scoffed, "The boy you had a crush on? The boy you started dating back in seventh grade?"

"YES!" Aaron shouted.

"He's gone." Riley said darkly," He doesn't exist anymore."

"That so?" Aaron scoffed, "And how's that?"

"He destroyed himself!" Riley shouted, "I'm not the boy you knew, Aaron! I'm nothing! I'm a shadow of what I used to be, and even the shadow is starting to slowly burn away!"

I looked at Tim, Wally, and Casey. Wally looked confused, while the others looked horrified. Tim moved closer to me, and I pulled him into a side-hug.

"NO HE'S NOT!" Aaron exclaimed angrily, waving his arms around him, "He's NOT GONE! He's just COWERING behind a mask of RIDICULOUS fear, anger and rage induced false bravado that is ten miles thick at the thinnest point! But I have all day! Hell, I HAVE THE REST OF MY LIFE TO CHOP THROUGH IT!"

"Why must you make this so hard on yourself?" Riley asked brokenly.

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU! OKAY?" Aaron screamed.

Riley was stunned into silence.

"If I can't fight for the boy I love, then what is the POINT of even LIVING AT ALL?" Aaron screamed, his face turning red and his eyes going bloodshot from the failed effort to hold in his tears.

Riley stared at him.

"You... y-y-you love me?" He muttered.

"Of course I do, Riles." Aaron whimpered, "You really thought I didn't?"

"You've never said it before." Riley mumbled.

"Just because something is unspoken doesn't make it true." Aaron said softly, mirroring my thoughts, "I love you, Riley. I always have, and I always will. If I didn't, I would have given up a long time ago. I would have given up the relationship when we were being bullied at school. But I didn't. I beat the shit out of anybody who hurt you. I stood up to your parents and went with you to physical therapy after the bashing. I love you."

"We all do, old friend." Tim spoke aloud, finally entering the conversation.

Riley jumped and whipped towards the voice, leaping and cowering behind Aaron.

Riley's had bags under his eyes that immediately said that he hasn't been sleeping well. When his eyes landed on Casey, he relaxed slightly. He studied Tim for a minute, and you could see the moment he recognized him, because Riley's eyes widened to a comical size.

"T-T-Timmy?" He muttered, "Is that really you?"

Tim nodded, and slowly, cautiously, he moved to approach Riley.

He hadn't even moved a couple of inches before Riley bounded across the living room and wrapped him in a hug.

"It's good to see you Riles." Tim mumbled into his shoulder.

It was at this moment that Riley noticed Jude and I standing there.

His eyes widened even further.

"Holy shit." He muttered.

He then proceeded to do exactly what Castor did when meeting James and Lars for the first time.

He fainted.


	50. Epilogue: Four Years Later.

November 18th, 2030.

Connor's POV:

Jude turned thirty today.

He is three full decades old today.

I took him out to lunch at his favorite restaurant, and bought him a silver pocket watch from a jewelers store at the Genesee Valley Mall.

It was twilight, and the house was empty except for Jude and I. Wally and Tim had both graduated from the high school with honors, and had moved out and into the dormitory at the University of Michigan, Flint Campus. Wally was going to school to be a detective, and Tim was going to school to be a surgeon. Jude and I couldn't be more proud that our sons were setting high goals for themselves, and working hard to achieve them. Both of them were at the top of their classes.

Tim was in a steady relationship with a boy named David, whom he met in his junior year in high school. After nearly giving up on dating altogether due to a string of failed relationships, Tim met David in show choir, a class that Tim took on a whim and never expected to like. The two of them hit it off immediately and became best friends. David made the first move. The two had plans to get married once they graduated from college and got steady jobs and a place of their own.

Wally was in a relationship with a girl named Dominique, and had been since about a week after we all managed to finally convince Riley to leave his house and return to Davison in their sophomore year. She was from a small town in France that I can't pronounce the name of, and she had moved to Michigan because her dad had gotten a new job here. She met Wally, and he immediately fell head over heels for her.

I gazed at my husband, sitting at his desk in the corner of the living room. I still have no idea, 17 years after our relationship began, how I managed to capture the heart of such a beautiful person.

I got up from my chair, little Minion following slowly behind me. It still surprised me that the dog was still alive. He would be ten years old next year, although if what I've read online is anything to go by, he could live to be as old as sixteen year old. His once near solid black fur coat was now turning grey, but he still acted like an imperious dictator in a poodle's body.

I walked over to where Jude sat and kneeled next to him. I gently took his chin into my grasp, and turned his head to capture his next breath in a deep kiss. We took turns stealing each other's next breaths. After seventeen years of doing this, kissing Jude still gives me the same butterflies in my stomach that it did when we were just two thirteen year old boys, sharing our first kiss bathed in the dim light of an electric lantern, within a cheap tent during a school camping trip with an uncertain future looming over the horizon.

We finally separated from our kiss with a soft pop, and I stared into his eyes lovingly, and he stared back. I caressed his cheek with the back of my hand.

"I love you." He whispered to me.

"I love you too, baby." I whispered back.

I leaned in and pecked a kiss on the tip of his nose.

He smiled. It was my favorite smile. The one where his teeth were on full display and his eyes were scrunched up into a squint. The smile I had long ago fallen in love with and made it my personal mission to cause and see at every opportunity I could manage.

"How does it feel to be thirty JJ?" I asked him.

"Same way it felt to be twenty nine." He said jokingly.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I wish Uncle Evan was still alive to see it." I said sadly.

**Flashback:**

_I was standing in the kitchen helping Jude make breakfast for Wally, Tim, and all their buddies, Riley was sitting at the table chatting animatedly with Aaron and Tim, and I couldn't help but marvel at how far the boy had come in only a few months. Not even a full year ago, he was a recluse, sequestered in a near permanent self exile to his home. After we all visited him at his house, he finally allowed himself to leave his house, accompanying Tim, Wally, Casey and Aaron to see a movie at the Trillium Theatre out by the hospital._

_After that, he steadily grew more comfortable leaving his house, until he hardly spent a minute at home. Finally, not even a week ago, Riley asked his parents to re-enroll him at Davison High School as a full time student, finally putting the past behind him and allowing himself to look towards the future._

_Wally was sitting next to Dominique, who laid her head gently on his shoulder with their hands linked. Wally caught my gaze, and offered me a small smile. I grinned at my son and his girlfriend, and Dominique, ever the shy one, buried her face in Wally's shoulder, causing Wally to giggle and hug her._

_And then phone started ringing._

_I didn't look at the caller ID as I picked it up and answered it._

_"Hello?" I had said, picking up the phone after motioning to everybody to quiet down._

_"C-C-Connor?" The voice on the other end stammered tearfully._

_"Dad? What's wrong?" I asked, immediately on alert._

_"I-I can't believe I h-have to t-tell you this, buddy. B-but..."_

_"Dad?" I asked, now scared out of my mind, "What's wrong? What happened?"_

_"Your Uncle..." Dad croaked, before bursting into tears on the other end._

_"Dad? DAD? What happened to Uncle Evan?"_

_"H-he's... h-h-he's g-gone." Dad stammered brokenly, "He d-died last night in h-h-his s-sleep. Brain aneurism."_

_My grip on the phone slackened._

_The phone hit the floor and broke._

_I sank to my knees._

_Jude rushed forward and knelt at my side._

_"Connor? Baby what's wrong?" He asked worriedly._

_"Uncle Evan's dead." I said, and immediately burst into tears._

_Simultaneously, the whole population of the house, sans me of course, gasped. Wally and Tim leapt to their feet and leapt into the huddle on the floor, and the whole family sat there and wept._

_The day was August 5th, 2027, and it was the day that Evan Stevens passed away at only 45 years old._

_Not even four hours later we were all on a plane back to San Diego, something that we all thought we would never do, having sworn against ever returning._

_The funeral was held a week later. It was a private affair, or as private as you could get when the man it's being held for has so many friends. The whole of the Adams-Foster clan was in attendance, as well as the entirety of the Stevens family._

_Albus and David were barely keeping it together. According to Albus, David had nearly drank himself to death the night after Evan's death, while Albus took comfort in his friends and their open arms. I honestly couldn't blame them for being heartbroken. They had lost a husband and a father._

_The funeral was the first time I had ever seen my Grandfather cry._

_"No parent should ever have to bury a child."_

_That was what my little brother Andy said, as we sat side by side watching my sobbing, shaking grandfather leaning over the coffin to place a final kiss to my beloved uncle's forehead._

_Andy was handling this remarkably well for an eight year old. He did not cry during the entire funeral._

_As Evan's casket was being lowered into the Earth, I asked Andy why he didn't seem as sad as everybody else. His eyes drifted to gaze upon the casket as it descended into the ground._

_"He's been called home." Andy said softly, grabbing my hand and holding it in both of his little hands, "And the place he goes to is far more peaceful than the one he leaves. He spent his whole life fighting. Fighting for a good life for himself. For his family. For you and Jude. For all of us. He has peace now. He was able to leave, safe in knowing that everybody he loved was safe and at peace. That's all he ever really wanted, Connie."_

_Andy always did seem wise beyond his years_ _, and as my brother finished his short speech, the facade I had managed to maintain for the whole of the funeral up until that point finally shattered, and the first tear finally fell._

_Twenty minutes later, as everybody was leaving, I kneeled before his grave stone._

**_Evan Edward Stevens._ **

**_Born: February 22nd, 1982_ **

**_Died: August 5th, 2027._ **

**_"When death's shadow approaches,_ **

**_Ask yourself if you've lived a life_ **

**_You can leave behind with pride."_ **

_I gripped the grass with both hands, and the tears fell harder._

_"I'm g-gonna miss y-you, Uncle E-Evy." I whimpered, "Without you, none of us would be here. You were a far better man than I could ever hope to be. Thank you... so much. For everything. I'll see you on the other side... I know I will."_

_I felt a pair of arms surround me, and in Jude's embrace. I sobbed harder than I had ever sobbed before._

**END FLASHBACK**

**(Sorry don't kill me for what I just did. That has been planned since I brought him in as a character.- NukeRose)**

I shook myself out of my memory, and wiped away the tear that had managed to escape my tear ducts. Jude grabbed my hand.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. I just miss him." I said to him, "Still hard to believe he's gone. Even after three years. I always thought the stubborn old bastard would outlive all of us."

"I miss him too, Con." Jude said, hugging me tightly, "I miss him too."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that I got a call from James while you were out." Jude said.

"What did the old man want?" I asked teasingly.

"Wanted to talk about us writing a book." Jude said.

"HA!" I exclaimed, assuming he was joking before catching his serious look, "Wait, you're being serious? A book about what?"

"Us." Jude said simply.

"Oh, so they want us to write our autobiography." I asked again for clarification.

"Pretty much. It's basically a memoir of our lives." Jude explained, "You're better at writing stories than I am, and you have a better memory than I do, so you'll probably end up writing most of it. Or you can say the words aloud and I'll put what I hear to paper."

"So it's gonna be the story of our relationship, written as a story from both of our points of view?" I clarified.

"Pretty much." He confirmed, "It'll be fascinating to hear the events happen from your point of view instead of how I remember them."

"Where do you want it to begin at?" I asked him curiously.

He thought about it for a second.

"The day we became us." He answered, "The day at the hospital after you got shot when we were reunited. When your dad finally let me in to see you."

"You can write that one." I told him, "I want to hear it from your point of view."

He nodded and picked up the pencil sitting next to the notebook.

"Why a pencil and paper?" I asked him.

"I'm gonna write out each chapter on paper first before typing it up." Jude said.

"Okay, if you say so."

He put the pencil to the paper, and paused before turning back to me slowly.

"What should I call it?"

"Life of War?" I suggested, "Our lives have pretty much been battle after battle, so it makes sense."

"What about something personal to us?" Jude asked, "Something special, that has been around since the beginning? Something symbolic."

I thought about it for a second. I took Jude's hand into mine, and caressed it gently. He had his nails painted again today, in their classic shade of blue. I smiled at the war paint...

And then the light bulb went off in my head.

Something personal.

Something special.

Something that had been around since the beginning.

Something symbolic.

"War Paint." I said, "Call it 'War Paint'."

Jude smiled widely.

"That sounds perfect." He said, and turned back to the paper and continued with his writing.

**_"War Paint._ **

**_By Jude and Connor Stevens Adams-Foster._ **

I smiled at him, and he smiled back as he began writing.

**_"Dedicated to our gigantic family, who we both love so much. To all members of "The Mafia", who we would still follow willingly into the depths of hell. And finally, to our guardian angel, who continues to stand sentinel over us from his post in heaven where he awaits our arrival. We miss you Uncle Evan."_ **

"Think that's good enough for a dedication page?" Jude asked.

"More than enough." I agreed, "What are you gonna call the first chapter?"

"One thing I remember about preparing to go up to the hospital that morning," Jude recounted, "Is that I had had enough, and was done with a lifetime of conforming, and it was time for a bit of rebellion. How about 'Rebellion'?"

"Sounds good." I agreed.

Jude turned back to the paper in front of him and began writing.

**_"Chapter One: Rebellion._ **

**_Jude's POV: May 10th, 2014._ **

**_******_ **

**_I woke up with a jolt, the memories of the last few days returning to torture me now that sleep wasn't there to keep them at bay. My mind immediately leapt to Connor..."_ **

I smiled to myself as I stood behind my beloved husband, just watching him as he commenced the recording of our long life story to paper. Our relationship, our lives, had been one constant war. One battle after another. The fight to be ourselves, the fights to survive the acts of others, the fights against our own person demons, the fights on behalf of others, and the fights for our children. Now, I stand behind my husband, in the home that we built, in a town that we loved, with two wonderful kids in college.

A smile graces my face, and I lean my head on Jude's shoulder and wrap my arms around him, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his head.

We were at peace.

Our war, had at long last, come to an end.

**********


End file.
